Female Tourette’s Syndrome: Part 2
Tourette’s Syndrome is not limited to obscene outbursts and shouting. It also includes involuntary tics and gestures, which are sometimes inappropriate.
Female Tourette’s Syndrome is exactly the same; except instead of being classified as a disorder, FTS involuntary tics are classified as a huge pain in the ass.
A 5′4″ woman stabbing me in the face with the spokes of an umbrella, for example, is Female Tourette’s Syndrome. And that is a huge pain in my ass.
Fucking Eye Rolling
I own the patent on a hat that slaps the shit out of its wearer whenever she rolls her eyes. Unfortunately, this device will never be sold because the battery it would require to run for an 8 hour work day weighs seventy pounds.
Women may pretend to grow out of sarcasm and into the silent treatment when they’re 19, but their eyes never do. A woman’s eyes never lie, and they will tell you a lot about her. For example, if her eyes are looking at yours, she doesn’t respect you. Throw all your pink shirts away and leave a Playboy in the bathroom.
A Playboy in the bathroom is the secret to keeping women in line. It’s like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey.
Shaking Their Fucking Heads
This hat that I invented, which I named the Bitch Tamer, also included a harness that prevents it’s wearer from shaking her head from side to side constantly like the sprinklers at a memorial park. Unfortunately, no material has been made that can withstand the obsessive torque from a woman’s constant need to do this.
Women have no sense of speech. I’m surprised that they can order pizza. Someone once told me that women use 20,000 words a day, nonsensical as they may be, while men use a mere 7,000. However, if you took out the words “basically”, “fine”, and “no” — as in, “I basically told Justin at work that I was single, but it’s fine if you don’t think I meant no when I didn’t say it,” then that womanly total goes from 20,000 to 150.
It’s too bad shaking your head while a man is talking doesn’t burn more calories than it does. That way women would stop doing it.
Fucking With Their Cellphones
The Bitch Tamer also scrambles cell phone calls. It’s really quite a hat.
Even if their own lives depended on it, women couldn’t resist answering their cellphones. The reason why is simple.
A woman can only jump on top of a table and take her top off in a crowded restaurant once. It’s like the magic trick Daffy Duck pulled when he swallowed gun powder, nitroglycerin, and a stick of dynamite. He could only do it once. After that, Daffy was dead and everyone’s seen that woman’s tits. There’s no reason to keep talking to her.
A woman yaking on her cell phone is like when Daffy Duck would get his bill slapped so hard it spun around his head. It was always funny and there were a million reasons it could have happened.
Is her friend getting creepy phone calls? Is her mother pissed off about something I don’t give a fuck about? There are a million reasons why a woman could answer her cellphone, and that stupid Lady Bumps song cranked up to Level 5 will always get a few looks. A cell phone equals attention.
I don’t even remember how women survived before cellphones. The history books will probably show that the women of the 80’s had some of the most annoying laughs in history.
Female Tourette’s Syndrome: Part 1
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im a woman, but i totally agree with some of this stuff. however, just like a lot of guys arent total jerks, a lot of girls arent complete bitches, no matter how much you all want to believe it. and i dont even own a cell phone, and i dont intend to!
Come to my site.
http://www.voy.com/219711/
Women are the scum of the earth and they know it. Especially the filthbags that comment at my site.
Sorry wimmins, but…this is all fucking true.
The eye roll.
The shaking of the head.
Don’t give me that shit, bitch.
This is true…:/
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don
Watcher=loser with a tiny dick! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! http://www.maleenhancement.org/ Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Watcher=Mr. Empty-pants!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Chris=Mr. Empty-pants
Haha89=Mr. Empty-pants
I just read your 2 articles on female Tourettes Syndrom. I am a woman and have had it since I was a child without being diagnosed until recently at 49 years old. I am usually pretty laid back but I don’t believe your articles to be very funny as T.S. is a very painful, emotionally and physically which you would not be able to comprehend. Also, only 5% of T.S. people have copralalia
Arabs deserve a lot of respect because of the simple fact that they’ve been keeping their hoes in line for centuries. They force them to wear all types of clothing and shit. I would almost rather have that than some dumb blond chick teasing me with her fucking boobs hanging out of her shirt. Notice I said almost.
I have realized that God made vagina for two reasons. 1.) It keeps a man happy. 2.) If women didn’t have Vagina, we probably would’ve killed them all a long fucking time ago.
The vagina has one main purpose, to allow a baby to be born.
And the woman only has one main purpose.
To be a life support system for a vagina.
… but seriously now. Let’s pretend for a moment that’s not true. Let’s pretend a woman knew what she was talking about when she pretended “the vagina has one main purpose, to allow a baby to be born.”
Then why do women constantly try and knowingly use their vagina’s for a multitude of OTHER purposes – MORE OFTEN than just allowing a baby to be born???
Take your brainwashing somewhere else, whore.
We’re not buying.
What kind of ‘other pruposes’ are you talking about?
Take a look around, whore.
• “I won’t have sex with a man until he tells me he loves me and jumps through all kinds of ridiculous hoops first”.
• “I won’t have sex unless he takes me out and shows me a really good time and treats me like a queen”.
• “Fix the bathroom tiles or there will be no nookie for you tonight”
• “I won’t have sex with him until he buys me a whopping diamond, buys me a house and a car and pays my mortgage..and signs a life contract until death to my unfulfilling selfish ass”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud
… and the endless list goes on.
Whore.
but babies are just…why the hell would you want one!?
u honestly think thats torettes? well if u havent notice guys roll their eyes/ heads and fk wit their cell too
Kate for fuck’s sake. Your grammar is horrible. Please kill yourself. Do you honestly think anyone is going to take you seriously? This is an internet chat forum and the only way you can learn anything about the other person is what they type and how they type it. Right now i put your I.Q. somewhere between a bag of smashed assholes and a rock. How you manage to breathe or even use a computer is beyond me.
Ah HA HA HA HA! Owned!
Man? Why are you being so complimentary to this vegetable in a dress?
oh my god. guys suck at spelling and grammar too! bloody hell.
I’ve just heard that the Japanese have invented a new type of digital camera and the shutter speed is so quick it can take a photograph of a woman with her mouth ‘SHUT’.
Bloody hell. That’s fantastic.
Yeah, we also squirt milk from our hooters, wear tampons with wings, and douche about as often as we roll our eyes.
And you can shop for 8 hours. WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING.
I don’t understand you fucking weird creatures. Never going to even attempt.
What feminism came down to is that women repeat over and over same routines. Like here they advertis; Im happy I have a BF I have friends, I have nice body. They do te same with cellphones – Thy think this works. Suddenly a cool handsome strnger will come and say; wow, you are so happy, you have friends, you are so social ,Then I want you. This way they re proving to everybody arouned thet they are it.
I’m so sick and tired of women using cellphones in public. They are loud, obnoxious, and talk of crap nobody cares about. Oh, so you saw this cute shirt at the local Gap? Screw you, nobody cares bitch.
Ever heard a man being loud and obnoxious on a cellphone in public? That’s right, you haven’t, because men respect other people. Unlike women. A man knows that other men want to mind their own business, so he always keep a cellphone call private. He might even walk to a quiet area and make his call there.
And when men do make a phone call, it’s never about nonsense, and the calls usually last no longer than 35 seconds. Efficiency. Another thing women have never heard of.
Yep, efficiency. Women always brag about “multi-tasking”. What a bunch of shit that is. I call it “can’t prioritize for shit”. Women “multi-task” because they’d rather do a bunch of things half-assed than do them right.
god yea my moms a stupid bitch shes always fucking telling me how i gotta take out the fucking trash or clean the fucking house a certian way carrying a certain amount of items and if im not holding a fucking nuff it dont matter if im 2 goddamn feet from were its supposed to go i have to go back and get mor so it will take less time GODDAMNIT DUDE! FUCK SHIT I HATE WOMEN FUCK!?!?!?-tip – go for the boyish type girls theyre not quite so fucking annoying unlike miss fucking barbie
The next day a coyote came upon that same mountain lion licking a pile of dung. “What on earth are you doing?” the coyote asked in amazement. The mountain lion looked up dolefully. “I ate a manhole yesterday, and I’m still trying to get the taste out of my mouth.”
PLEASE READ
All the stupidness on this site is enough ,but what caugh my attention is not Dick’s bullshit but the little line at the bottom of every page “Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson is proudly powered by WordPress and hosted at LTTech 1,642,966 Served. ”
I can not believe ,company like that whom also powers big name like :Yahoo and CNN ,also powers this idiot .
I will make it a personal business to let them know how about this website ,which calls to violence and hatered ,and everybody that feels like me should do the same .
It is unfortunate that you decided to post this comment. This web host is a corporation, in other words they provide a service that others can use for their own purposes. Having them shut down the sight would be light telling Budweiser to shut down because of drunk driving. I do understand that you are a women and therefore have less business sense than a prom-night dumpster baby, but you would save yourself a lot of time by stapling that sphincter in your head closed.
Dumb bitch.
Site, like, sorry, and shut the hell up
the dumb bitch comment was not needed. you can get a point across without having to insult people!
PLEASE READ
All the stupidness on this site is enough ,but what caugh my attention is not Dick’s bullshit but the little line at the bottom of every page “Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson is proudly powered by WordPress and hosted at LTTech 1,642,966 Served. ”
I can not believe ,company’s like that whom also powers big name like :Yahoo and CNN ,also powers this idiot .
I will make it a personal business to let them know how about this website ,which calls to violence and hatered ,and everybody that feels like me should do the same .
Wow, go start your fucking Myspace chain letters SOMEWHERE ELSE. Girls aren’t even suppose to be on this site, and now they’re populating it like it’s a damn community site for twelve year old, spoiled brats. Good God.
Yes. Terrifying for you isn’t it. Imagine what would happen when ALL men out there know the truth about you. We know you bitches can’t believe it, but your fucking days are numbered.
You don’t need to make it your business to to let everyone know about this website. Wordpress (created by MEN) is already doing that FOR you.
And you can stop pretending that TYPED WORDS ON A WEBPAGE is the same as “VIOLENCE towards women”. Take it as a compliment that everyone here is only WRITING about it, and none of us are actually bashing anyone’s head in.
You’re welcome. Now kindly fuck off.
What about the anomalies? What about the select women who do not fit into a single category on this entire site? It seems our days have been numbered for a while, while more and more women convert to shallowness and money lust. But are we going to be given a fair chance when other women have their days numbered as well?
And I’d like to add, I have commented a few times on the site. I just now however realized that women are not supposed to write on the site. I guess I just looked past it. For this I apologize if I have annoyed anyone.
@Chris, I agree with you that words can not harm these women. We all are entitled to opinions as long as we do not end up committing crimes or other wrongs. So the women who come on this site to complain endlessly, don’t. There is no need, it will make no difference, and you are being worse than every other man who writes a sexist comment on this page. Because it is not a page for you to write on.
well without women the human population would die out. and you call us stupid. honestly.
Equality, but we give birth.
sometimes i call my friends girls to diss them badly
FTS should be in the mother fucking DSM-IV
That’s a joke, and you’re a fucking joke for proposing it.
They have enough trouble classifying things in the DSM-IV, never mind adding in severely opinion-based bullshit.
Only partially kidding.
- eric prydz pres. pryda – nile (original mix)