Female Tourettes Syndrome
I’ve mentioned Female Tourettes Syndrome in the past, and because it is one of the biggest reasons why men are better than women, I thought I would commemorate this Labor Day by expanding on the topic.
Labor Day is a very manly holiday, after all. Labor Day is why Father’s Day is bullshit. You don’t celebrate two Halloweens or two New Year’s. When compared to a day honoring labor, Father’s Day is redundant.
If there was a day dedicated to buying three times as much crap at a 50% off sale, or spilling fancy candle wax all over the carpet, then we wouldn’t need Mother’s Day.
Female Tourettes Syndrome is a woman’s inability to keep her mouth shut. It manifests largely in three ways.
Endless Fucking Questions
If there’s a stupid question about any topic, then a woman will imagine it and ask it with the confidence of Sherlock Holmes.
“I’m going to the store,” you might say. “Why?” asks a woman, stupidly. This is due to her Female Tourettes Syndrome.
FTS prevents a woman from being quiet and thinking about something before she starts flapping her scone-hole about it. Men are great philosophers, diplomats, and authors, because we can sit back and think about what’s going on before speaking. We can answer all the stupid questions on our own. Women make lousy all of the above’s for the same reason they make lousy lovers while you’re staying at your parents’ house during Christmas: they can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.
I’m going to the store to buy something. Why the fuck else has anyone ever gone to the store? To look around?
Endless Fucking Speaking
Women are like those tightly-coiled spring door stops with the little rubber bit on the end. You give them one little prod and they erupt with obnoxious sounds like a broken fan belt. Those things are fun as hell until you’re 12. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
The secret to getting laid is to rev up the talking part of a woman’s brain like it’s a bicycle flipped upside down. The speech and sex sectors of a she-brain are right next to each other. It doesn’t take anything more than timing to get them spinning like tops. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
Men speak in well-timed spikes of brilliance. That’s the heartbeat of commerce. Women speak like lawn darts: huge arcs that no one gives a fuck about unless it’s coming down on your head. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
Endless Fucking Complaining
No matter how good a woman has it, you’d never be able to tell by the way she talks. Women hate happiness. That’s why they don’t like taking their tops off at football games and why they like puppies so much. Puppies piss all over everything. That does not equal happiness.
Even if a woman married a millionaire and had ten kids by five different guys, she’s as far from happiness as an innocent man on death row. Despite that she’s living every woman’s dream.
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September 10th, 2007 at 3:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9dacd1603113
Yeah, nothing lasts like a lesson that stings a little. I’ve also found that advice is only REALLY assimilated once you go against it; a once-broken bone is strongest where it knits together.
I was born in ‘80, so by the time I hit puberty the feminist resurgence was in full swing. It seems that most of the posters here are within my age cohort, so I thought that since I’m new here I’ll put down a bit of my experience with feminism, and see how well it jives with what you know.
This bullshit was pumped into our heads all day long by fat sexless cunts with Moe Howard haircuts, aka “teachers”. This of course coincided with the invention of date rape, the “sensitive man of the 90s”, political correctness, every man is a rapist, competition is bad, all that shit. Boys were taught to be ashamed of their sexual feelings, to hide our attraction, and made to think that it was the same as rape to look at a girl with lust. Our gym classes were went from basketball and soccer to step aerobics and square dancing.
We were neutered.
Well, what do you expect from a Canadian Catholic school?
September 10th, 2007 at 3:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486
My goodness.. I attended a Canadian Catholic school.
Boys dressed in dress pants, dress shirts, ties and dress shoes.
Girls pranced around in mini skirts and open blouses.
During hot weather the boys asked if we could substitute dress shorts for the pants… we were denied… yet the girls could all choose if they wanted to wear a kilt or dress pants. 0.o
The girls had a kilt pin and on it they’d put colored beads.. each color representing something they did… blue for oral sex, red for anal, white for virgin.. etc.
Gross.
September 10th, 2007 at 4:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 919329ce1329e
Holy shit! That was some interesting info. I’ll never look at catholic schoolgirls in the same way again.
Damn, I rescind that comment. Makes me sound like I often gaze at schoolgirls; and this is not the case. What I really wanted to say is that you’ve changed my opinion of catholic schoolgirls.
September 10th, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9dacd1603113
I came from Ottawa, and for some reason the schools there didn’t have uniforms. Or good looking girls. Just the lumpen offspring of dour, leftist drones.
September 10th, 2007 at 10:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
@LBone I remember spending a warm summer in Ottawa once. I’ve never known three days to go by so quickly.
Seriously, though, you’re right about the leftist drones.
-wolfe
September 10th, 2007 at 10:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
You people are just crazy about Canada, aren’t you? Come on! Stop hiding your love…
- Ida Corr - Let Me Think About It (Fedde Le Grand Remix)
September 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: bdabbb77d8ba2
Heh, good one. The woman in my life, I clean for her. She gets three orgasms a week. I pay the bills, I got her away from her abusive father and her mother that would rather smoke dope and party than go grocery shopping and would rather allow her to eat dumpster scraps instead. Her complaints: I don’t pay enough attention to her, she doesn’t have a room seperately lockable, and we don’t go on a “special” vacation every other weekend, yadda yadda. I come home to having to do dishes and laundry because she was too busy pimping her myspace page and complaining to her livejournal freinds about me.
If I ever complain, I’m not being fair.
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 40d05ef643f4d
The guys who find this stuff amusing are the ones I cannot stand. Looks like you don’t know how to build a loving partnership with a worthwhile lady. For one thing, you are not worthwhile men. I’m lucky enough to have a lot of good men and women in my life, and thank God none of you whiny babies remind me of *any* of the flesh-and-red-blooded people I know, like, and love.
Get help.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
Thank you Mary, for expressing your opinion with out cursing like a sailor who just had his dick bit off by a shark. A rarity for women around here, I must say.
Let me say, that to build a worthwhile relationship with a lady, one must be find a worthwhile lady. They are few and far between. At least, in my town.
I’ve looked. Hard. I know they’re out there. They must be. But I can’t for the life of me find one that isn’t already married.
Now seriously Mary, where do I find them? I’m not being sarcastic. I want to know where I have to look to find a decent lady. I can’t go to bars, because, well, every single word Dick has ever written describes bar chicks. I can’t go to clubs for that same reason. I can’t date girls at work, because that’s unprofessional.
So what do I have left? If you have any ideas, please, let me know.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 230881a8e68d1
Hey when you find the answer for that question let this chick know because its the same way for some of us too. There are some of us women, myself included, that work hard to earn our own money so we don’t have to have a man pay for everything and are just looking for a decent relationship that doesnt revolve around sex. You go to a bar or a club and 1 there is nothing teenagers at most clubs and 2 most of them just want a one night stand. I don’t know about the rest of you but some of use are looking for more than just that.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 230881a8e68d1
@ Anon
Might i add that you are the first guy on here who is actually willing to be decent to othr people on here regardless of their sex.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 58f66b0866fa9
Oh but you remind many of us of the many trash mouth entitlement whores who spout off the first thing that comes to tiny weetle mind.
You aren’t even welcome here and were asked not to post here but like most women you don’t like rules that restrict you from being a obnoxious bitch. You’re not worthy of being called a Lady. Go play with barbies little girl.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 58f66b0866fa9
Typical airhead.
You’re not the first to deal with such rubbish.
in fact most women behave just like she does. They are childish ingrates. She will be the type to fuk some guy when she thinks she can get away with it and it will be your fault. Rub like hell..
Kick her to the curb before she can steal all your assets.
women suck as people
November 21st, 2007 at 7:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 230881a8e68d1
@ billy
The “No woman allowed” on the home page makes about as much sense as it did when we were four and had it on our little tree forts. No one takes it seriously.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:17 am - IP Man-Hash: daf566e7d8c07
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It’s the way you are raised.
I know some men who just can’t shut up.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: ef617bf1944a6
PLEASE READ
All the stupidness on this site is enough ,but what caugh my attention is not Dick’s bullshit but the little line at the bottom of every page “Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson is proudly powered by WordPress and hosted at LTTech 1,642,966 Served. ”
I can not believe ,company’s like that whom also powers big name like :Yahoo and CNN ,also powers this idiot .
I will make it a personal business to let them know how about this website ,which calls to violence and hatered ,and everybody that feels like me should do the same .
April 27th, 2008 at 3:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 22d613ed99992
Find an intelligent hobby to participate in, and there will be worthwhile women there. If you can make it in, try Mensa or another similar group. If not, any intellectual activity will do.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9d1df74a1e072
About the whole alimony thing… men get alimony too. Just look at Britney Spears having to pay Kevin Federline.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
It’s like that everywhere. The public schools cater to girls and treat boys to hate themselves and bow to girls.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
To know that female Tourettes Syndrome exists is to take a 5 hour car trip with a woman. You can’t listen to the radio for 5 minutes on that 5 hour trip but she won’t shut the fuck up. It’s real important shit, too: her friend Mandy has a boyfriend that may be cheating, the neighbor girl is having problems with a bunch of her friends, the other neighbor girl is pissed-off and withholding sex because her live-in boyfriend got drunk at their house party and said something embarrassing. WHY WOULD I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS SHIT?!?!
The difference is that I have a very rewarding job as an aerospace engineer. The average woman is so fucking lazy that their goal in life is to marry a guy with money and have nothing to do but stay home and watch TV or go spend his money on stupid shit at the mall.
When speaking, women think that quantity=quality. Men don’t talk unless there’s something meaningful to say. Women just let their minds wander and blather about whatever worthless shit pops into their heads. 5 hours of “conversation” and she only says 3 sentences that have any value whatsoever.