Female Tourettes Syndrome
I’ve mentioned Female Tourettes Syndrome in the past, and because it is one of the biggest reasons why men are better than women, I thought I would commemorate this Labor Day by expanding on the topic.
Labor Day is a very manly holiday, after all. Labor Day is why Father’s Day is bullshit. You don’t celebrate two Halloweens or two New Year’s. When compared to a day honoring labor, Father’s Day is redundant.
If there was a day dedicated to buying three times as much crap at a 50% off sale, or spilling fancy candle wax all over the carpet, then we wouldn’t need Mother’s Day.
Female Tourettes Syndrome is a woman’s inability to keep her mouth shut. It manifests largely in three ways.
Endless Fucking Questions
If there’s a stupid question about any topic, then a woman will imagine it and ask it with the confidence of Sherlock Holmes.
“I’m going to the store,” you might say. “Why?” asks a woman, stupidly. This is due to her Female Tourettes Syndrome.
FTS prevents a woman from being quiet and thinking about something before she starts flapping her scone-hole about it. Men are great philosophers, diplomats, and authors, because we can sit back and think about what’s going on before speaking. We can answer all the stupid questions on our own. Women make lousy all of the above’s for the same reason they make lousy lovers while you’re staying at your parents’ house during Christmas: they can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.
I’m going to the store to buy something. Why the fuck else has anyone ever gone to the store? To look around?
Endless Fucking Speaking
Women are like those tightly-coiled spring door stops with the little rubber bit on the end. You give them one little prod and they erupt with obnoxious sounds like a broken fan belt. Those things are fun as hell until you’re 12. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
The secret to getting laid is to rev up the talking part of a woman’s brain like it’s a bicycle flipped upside down. The speech and sex sectors of a she-brain are right next to each other. It doesn’t take anything more than timing to get them spinning like tops. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
Men speak in well-timed spikes of brilliance. That’s the heartbeat of commerce. Women speak like lawn darts: huge arcs that no one gives a fuck about unless it’s coming down on your head. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
Endless Fucking Complaining
No matter how good a woman has it, you’d never be able to tell by the way she talks. Women hate happiness. That’s why they don’t like taking their tops off at football games and why they like puppies so much. Puppies piss all over everything. That does not equal happiness.
Even if a woman married a millionaire and had ten kids by five different guys, she’s as far from happiness as an innocent man on death row. Despite that she’s living every woman’s dream.
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September 5th, 2007 at 3:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2de62b08c413d
Class just class
September 5th, 2007 at 4:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3244816c4b03
One cannot over emphasize the accuracy of your rant
Touché
September 5th, 2007 at 4:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Holy shit, Dick! Didn’t you know that women have this thing called ‘window shopping’? That is where they go to the shops and look around and not buy anything.
I’ve tagged along on quite a few of these excursions in a shameless attempt to get laid (which failed more often than not).
September 5th, 2007 at 5:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: bd911c62f20e3
I have to remember that one.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
Endless Questions…
Women expecting Men to provide all the answers for them on a shiny silver plate, as usual. You’ll never see any guy doing this to a woman. Men MAKE it happen…women let it happen.
Endless Speaking…
Like cheap wine, there’s never much point in having too much of it, or any. A smaller amount of quality wine will always be far more preferable.
Endless Complaining…
The entitlement problem, incarnate. You never see starving africans bitching about their fucked up life. They appreciate anything and everything that helps, whatever it might be. If anyone has a “right” to complain about shit, it’s probably them. This goes for blind people, torture victims and anyone else who genuinely drew the short straw in life. Western women are NOT in that category…complaining is unacceptable.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486
Men should at all times carry with them a picture of a starving African child and when the woman is about 5 minutes into her ranting and raving about something ….just calmly reach into your pocket and hold up the picture.
-FIN
September 5th, 2007 at 5:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Female notion of entertainment.
- Marc Romboy vs Booka Shade - Everyday day in my life (Martin landsky remix)
September 5th, 2007 at 5:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
This is a tremendous idea.
-Dick
September 5th, 2007 at 5:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
MABTW: Welcome to Feminist Dystopia!
- Timbaland ft Keri Hilson - The way i are
September 5th, 2007 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c4e1b034eee0
nicely done, i especially like the last statement you made, women are never happy period.
Shit Chris Rock said it the best “you cant make a woman happy, i’ve never met a happy women in my life, women always complainin about somethin, women like to complain, women save up shit to complain about, “oh he dont even know that i know ima get his ass on that shit next month”.
They like fuckin complaining, they love it, no matter what you do she’ll be mad, you could fuck a woman with a diamond dick and make her cum 10 times she’ll still complain, “why u make me cum so hard”.”
No matter what you do your woman is mad at you.
-If you work all the time “Why you always work all the time, you aint never home, you always leavin me, i hate this shit.”
-If your home all the time “why you all up under me, let me get some fuckin room to breath, damn stop sweatin me, i hate this shit.”
-If you make more money than her “Fuck you, I wanna make decisions too, you aint my fuckin daddy i dont need you to take care of me, i hate this shit.”
-If she makes more money than you “You broke mutha fucka, you never have no fuckin money, fuck this shit, i dont wanna make all these decisions, i need to be takin care of, i hate this shit.”
The illogical bullshit continues.
September 5th, 2007 at 10:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6f97ac8a94a7
In conclusion, men solve problems. Women, create problems for themselves and in their lives.
September 6th, 2007 at 7:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b5c51ab12979
One of the many, many reasons I got divorced again was the endless questions (why,why,why,why).
Several Christmases ago we had family over. Everyone was enjoing pleasent conversation, Christmas music, libations etc.
My (then) wife was in the kitchen and I had to go to the can to drop the atlantic cable.
She actually screamed my name so loud that everything in the room came to a schreeching halt like one of those old EF Hutton commercials .
She yelled “XXXX where the hell are you”
My reply, muffled through the thick wooden door “I’m in the bathroom”
“what are you doing”?
Unbelievable!!.
This didn’t require a phi beta cappa from Harvard to figure out.
What the fuck did she think I was doing in there, baking a cake??
FTS in spades!
-Banzai
September 6th, 2007 at 1:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: c72d3d7fa1251
@ Banzai - you say “I had to go to the can to drop the atlantic cable.”
Ha! I usually call it the “toilet trout” - but only when my wife’s on the can.
MABTW
September 10th, 2007 at 12:40 am - IP Man-Hash: b9dacd1603113
This is a “wuss test” or “shit test”. It took me a while to figure this one out, and I’ve been “gotten” by this before. I’ll bet she’s scuttling from one pile of stupid shit to another at a weird, sped-up, 1903-silent-movie-gait, while you, like an ass, get to follow around after her. She is always watching you from her peripheral vision, waiting for you to get close only so she can take off again. Occasionally she will turn and hiss at you, giving you hurry-up motions like you’re a dumb little kid. The object is to humiliate you in public and to prove both to herself and any other woman watching (they ALL are) this ugly scene that she OWNS YOUR ASS. Refuse to play along. Women cannot take your dignity by force; you have to give it away by choice.
She could smell your desperation a mile away. Someone, at some point, convinced you that you were lucky to receive ANY level of female attention at all, instead of it being the other way around.
She decided NOT to fuck you as soon as you let her be in charge. She knew that you only went with her in order to try and fuck her. That shit when you got there was just “punishment” for wanting to fuck her. Nice, huh?
Never let a woman in the driver’s seat, be it literal or figurative. If you girlfriend says, “I want to invite five of my hot friends over so we can all take turns sucking your dick and feeding you sandwiches and beer” you have to be prepared to say “What kind of sandwiches?” If its one of those bullshit ones where they give you a 3rd slice of bread for some retarded reason call it off.
Women only think in terms of dominance/submission. Finding out when they are actively trying to dominate you takes a while, but it is worth it - you become INDOMITABLE.
Your time is worth more than that. Running around, propping up some insecure bitch’s fragile sense of self-worth
September 10th, 2007 at 9:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 919329ce1329e
Thanks for the advice, bro. It’s a bit late, because I’ve already learned all that shit through trial and error, but I still appreciate the words of wisdom.
September 10th, 2007 at 3:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9dacd1603113
Yeah, nothing lasts like a lesson that stings a little. I’ve also found that advice is only REALLY assimilated once you go against it; a once-broken bone is strongest where it knits together.
I was born in ‘80, so by the time I hit puberty the feminist resurgence was in full swing. It seems that most of the posters here are within my age cohort, so I thought that since I’m new here I’ll put down a bit of my experience with feminism, and see how well it jives with what you know.
This bullshit was pumped into our heads all day long by fat sexless cunts with Moe Howard haircuts, aka “teachers”. This of course coincided with the invention of date rape, the “sensitive man of the 90s”, political correctness, every man is a rapist, competition is bad, all that shit. Boys were taught to be ashamed of their sexual feelings, to hide our attraction, and made to think that it was the same as rape to look at a girl with lust. Our gym classes were went from basketball and soccer to step aerobics and square dancing.
We were neutered.
Well, what do you expect from a Canadian Catholic school?
September 10th, 2007 at 3:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486
My goodness.. I attended a Canadian Catholic school.
Boys dressed in dress pants, dress shirts, ties and dress shoes.
Girls pranced around in mini skirts and open blouses.
During hot weather the boys asked if we could substitute dress shorts for the pants… we were denied… yet the girls could all choose if they wanted to wear a kilt or dress pants. 0.o
The girls had a kilt pin and on it they’d put colored beads.. each color representing something they did… blue for oral sex, red for anal, white for virgin.. etc.
Gross.
September 10th, 2007 at 4:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 919329ce1329e
Holy shit! That was some interesting info. I’ll never look at catholic schoolgirls in the same way again.
Damn, I rescind that comment. Makes me sound like I often gaze at schoolgirls; and this is not the case. What I really wanted to say is that you’ve changed my opinion of catholic schoolgirls.
September 10th, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9dacd1603113
I came from Ottawa, and for some reason the schools there didn’t have uniforms. Or good looking girls. Just the lumpen offspring of dour, leftist drones.
September 10th, 2007 at 10:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
@LBone I remember spending a warm summer in Ottawa once. I’ve never known three days to go by so quickly.
Seriously, though, you’re right about the leftist drones.
-wolfe
September 10th, 2007 at 10:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
You people are just crazy about Canada, aren’t you? Come on! Stop hiding your love…
- Ida Corr - Let Me Think About It (Fedde Le Grand Remix)
September 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: bdabbb77d8ba2
Heh, good one. The woman in my life, I clean for her. She gets three orgasms a week. I pay the bills, I got her away from her abusive father and her mother that would rather smoke dope and party than go grocery shopping and would rather allow her to eat dumpster scraps instead. Her complaints: I don’t pay enough attention to her, she doesn’t have a room seperately lockable, and we don’t go on a “special” vacation every other weekend, yadda yadda. I come home to having to do dishes and laundry because she was too busy pimping her myspace page and complaining to her livejournal freinds about me.
If I ever complain, I’m not being fair.
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 40d05ef643f4d
The guys who find this stuff amusing are the ones I cannot stand. Looks like you don’t know how to build a loving partnership with a worthwhile lady. For one thing, you are not worthwhile men. I’m lucky enough to have a lot of good men and women in my life, and thank God none of you whiny babies remind me of *any* of the flesh-and-red-blooded people I know, like, and love.
Get help.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
Thank you Mary, for expressing your opinion with out cursing like a sailor who just had his dick bit off by a shark. A rarity for women around here, I must say.
Let me say, that to build a worthwhile relationship with a lady, one must be find a worthwhile lady. They are few and far between. At least, in my town.
I’ve looked. Hard. I know they’re out there. They must be. But I can’t for the life of me find one that isn’t already married.
Now seriously Mary, where do I find them? I’m not being sarcastic. I want to know where I have to look to find a decent lady. I can’t go to bars, because, well, every single word Dick has ever written describes bar chicks. I can’t go to clubs for that same reason. I can’t date girls at work, because that’s unprofessional.
So what do I have left? If you have any ideas, please, let me know.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 230881a8e68d1
Hey when you find the answer for that question let this chick know because its the same way for some of us too. There are some of us women, myself included, that work hard to earn our own money so we don’t have to have a man pay for everything and are just looking for a decent relationship that doesnt revolve around sex. You go to a bar or a club and 1 there is nothing teenagers at most clubs and 2 most of them just want a one night stand. I don’t know about the rest of you but some of use are looking for more than just that.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 230881a8e68d1
@ Anon
Might i add that you are the first guy on here who is actually willing to be decent to othr people on here regardless of their sex.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 58f66b0866fa9
Oh but you remind many of us of the many trash mouth entitlement whores who spout off the first thing that comes to tiny weetle mind.
You aren’t even welcome here and were asked not to post here but like most women you don’t like rules that restrict you from being a obnoxious bitch. You’re not worthy of being called a Lady. Go play with barbies little girl.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 58f66b0866fa9
Typical airhead.
You’re not the first to deal with such rubbish.
in fact most women behave just like she does. They are childish ingrates. She will be the type to fuk some guy when she thinks she can get away with it and it will be your fault. Rub like hell..
Kick her to the curb before she can steal all your assets.
women suck as people
November 21st, 2007 at 7:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 230881a8e68d1
@ billy
The “No woman allowed” on the home page makes about as much sense as it did when we were four and had it on our little tree forts. No one takes it seriously.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:17 am - IP Man-Hash: daf566e7d8c07
Stereotypes Stereotypes Stereotypes Stereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes StereotypesStereotypes Stereotypes Stereotypes
It’s the way you are raised.
I know some men who just can’t shut up.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: ef617bf1944a6
PLEASE READ
All the stupidness on this site is enough ,but what caugh my attention is not Dick’s bullshit but the little line at the bottom of every page “Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson is proudly powered by WordPress and hosted at LTTech 1,642,966 Served. ”
I can not believe ,company’s like that whom also powers big name like :Yahoo and CNN ,also powers this idiot .
I will make it a personal business to let them know how about this website ,which calls to violence and hatered ,and everybody that feels like me should do the same .
April 27th, 2008 at 3:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 22d613ed99992
Find an intelligent hobby to participate in, and there will be worthwhile women there. If you can make it in, try Mensa or another similar group. If not, any intellectual activity will do.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9d1df74a1e072
About the whole alimony thing… men get alimony too. Just look at Britney Spears having to pay Kevin Federline.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
It’s like that everywhere. The public schools cater to girls and treat boys to hate themselves and bow to girls.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
To know that female Tourettes Syndrome exists is to take a 5 hour car trip with a woman. You can’t listen to the radio for 5 minutes on that 5 hour trip but she won’t shut the fuck up. It’s real important shit, too: her friend Mandy has a boyfriend that may be cheating, the neighbor girl is having problems with a bunch of her friends, the other neighbor girl is pissed-off and withholding sex because her live-in boyfriend got drunk at their house party and said something embarrassing. WHY WOULD I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS SHIT?!?!
The difference is that I have a very rewarding job as an aerospace engineer. The average woman is so fucking lazy that their goal in life is to marry a guy with money and have nothing to do but stay home and watch TV or go spend his money on stupid shit at the mall.
When speaking, women think that quantity=quality. Men don’t talk unless there’s something meaningful to say. Women just let their minds wander and blather about whatever worthless shit pops into their heads. 5 hours of “conversation” and she only says 3 sentences that have any value whatsoever.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6e4f27cc475e8
I’m sorry to my fellow women out there, but I have to agree with this post. I’m even willing to admit I dont shut the fuck up often. Mostly because my man still acts like a child.
Anyway, you guys are a trip, just as bad a women in a sewing circle, gossip, bitch, and moan, its funny how much we actually are alike.
Keep up the good work!
LOL
(female supporter of this site)
May 27th, 2008 at 10:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 32bc53fde0213
Amen
June 2nd, 2008 at 6:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1e8fe532e50b5
Dick,
Holy shit, I have never seen such a tirade of emotional diarrhea from one e-mail written by a female in my entire life, actually from a client of mine, a 53 year old former divorcee complaining about whether her recently wed husband should retire as he had promised. I’ll spare you the ugly details. Suffice it to say her letter exemplifies every faux pas imaginable from the critique of Dick, ranging from “women’s stories have no fucking point” to “leave a message, not a monologue (or soliloquy as the case may be)”, and everything else in between, clearly a horseshit sandwich.
Yes, women can clearly communicate…like a mule can spell goldbrick. If you took a red pen to this sycophantic babble, the page would appear as if colored by a special ed student hooked on crack, and would likewise make better sense.
I told her to take a shut the fuck up pill. Consequently, she said she considers me family, like her little brother - how sweet!
Yep, men are better than women.
June 22nd, 2008 at 12:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 723a3b09c3cee
Once again, Dick, I have to agree with you. Women really don’t know how to be quiet. This is mainly because our leaders have allowed them to have equality in our society. Why would they want equality though? Do they really want to be prancing around going to college, getting a career job, and then working their asses off? If it were up to me, I would rather stay at home and spend time with my children, cleaning table tops and floors, and baking cookies and pies, because all of those things are easy. But that just isn’t my place. I understand the responsibilities God has bestowed upon me as a man, however, it seems that women don’t understand their responsibilities anymore. In other words, they are “out of line”. In fact, you won’t see many women with careers, military jobs, or leadership positions before the 1960’s and 1970’s. Before those times, women weren’t allowed in those positions. Why? Because they weren’t cut out for it, and everyone agreed with that simple truth. For example, women were not seen preaching in church until about 50-60 years ago. Women were responsible for keeping their children in line with God, just like a sheep dog directs sheep into a pen. It didn’t take much thought or understanding of the word of God to do. All it meant was they had to keep their kids away from sin, which isn’t such a hard task. Men were the ones who preached in church because men understood the word of God, and didn’t manipulate the word of God to fit their lifestyle. Women cannot stand the fact that if they don’t repent and don’t love and follow the word of God and the example of Jesus Christ that they may one day be in Hell. Men realized this, and didn’t allow women to manipulate the word of God to, let’s say, “water it down”, because men knew, the word of men(or women in this case) was not the word of God, but rather, the Bible was. So there you have it. Men preached in church because they could face the harsh realities of sin, death, and Hell, and women weren’t allowed to preach because they could not bare the fear of Hell. It was known that they would manipulate the word of God and land many souls there. And guess what happened 50 years ago? Women got their rights and were freed from the word of God(I don’t know why they would want to be…oh that’s right…women don’t understand the concept called “logic”). Now take a close look at our churches and tell me if they’re preaching the word of God or a manipulated word. If everyone claims to be a Christian in America, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce in America? Women watered down the word of God, just like they do everything else…
June 22nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1e24b55ac4b59
Feminism, beginning with womans’ suffrage, is a destructive, evil force that must be stopped. To employ biblical language, Feminism is probably the personal creation of Satan the Devil, with the helping hand of all the demons of hell who minister to his every need!
June 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: deb9c3e1eb4e1
You’re a fucking moron. Wordpress is a piece of software used to generate the blog, and servers are a fucking cheap - Dick could easily host his own website from home. Good work trying to undermine freedom of speech by trying to remove anything you don’t personally agree with, too bad you’re too much of a dumbshit to get anything done. Which is one of Dick Masterson’s main points.
MenAreBetterThanWomen