Female Tourettes Syndrome
I’ve mentioned Female Tourettes Syndrome in the past, and because it is one of the biggest reasons why men are better than women, I thought I would commemorate this Labor Day by expanding on the topic.
Labor Day is a very manly holiday, after all. Labor Day is why Father’s Day is bullshit. You don’t celebrate two Halloweens or two New Year’s. When compared to a day honoring labor, Father’s Day is redundant.
If there was a day dedicated to buying three times as much crap at a 50% off sale, or spilling fancy candle wax all over the carpet, then we wouldn’t need Mother’s Day.
Female Tourettes Syndrome is a woman’s inability to keep her mouth shut. It manifests largely in three ways.
Endless Fucking Questions
If there’s a stupid question about any topic, then a woman will imagine it and ask it with the confidence of Sherlock Holmes.
“I’m going to the store,” you might say. “Why?” asks a woman, stupidly. This is due to her Female Tourettes Syndrome.
FTS prevents a woman from being quiet and thinking about something before she starts flapping her scone-hole about it. Men are great philosophers, diplomats, and authors, because we can sit back and think about what’s going on before speaking. We can answer all the stupid questions on our own. Women make lousy all of the above’s for the same reason they make lousy lovers while you’re staying at your parents’ house during Christmas: they can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.
I’m going to the store to buy something. Why the fuck else has anyone ever gone to the store? To look around?
Endless Fucking Speaking
Women are like those tightly-coiled spring door stops with the little rubber bit on the end. You give them one little prod and they erupt with obnoxious sounds like a broken fan belt. Those things are fun as hell until you’re 12. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
The secret to getting laid is to rev up the talking part of a woman’s brain like it’s a bicycle flipped upside down. The speech and sex sectors of a she-brain are right next to each other. It doesn’t take anything more than timing to get them spinning like tops. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
Men speak in well-timed spikes of brilliance. That’s the heartbeat of commerce. Women speak like lawn darts: huge arcs that no one gives a fuck about unless it’s coming down on your head. Female Tourettes Syndrome.
Endless Fucking Complaining
No matter how good a woman has it, you’d never be able to tell by the way she talks. Women hate happiness. That’s why they don’t like taking their tops off at football games and why they like puppies so much. Puppies piss all over everything. That does not equal happiness.
Even if a woman married a millionaire and had ten kids by five different guys, she’s as far from happiness as an innocent man on death row. Despite that she’s living every woman’s dream.
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I have a man, who talks more than i do.
what does that mean,
he really does too,
sometimes i just zone out.
haha
It means your dating a transsexual.
Also your a women so… leave and don’t come back.
I was looking to this website for help. My son has tourettes. I have learned that it runs in families. I didn’t know that I had it all of my life and he probably got it from me. Mine is mild but it has caused me to be very shy all of my life and embarassed by the twitches and always trying to hide them. I used to get scolded to stop moving so much. So does he.
I don’t think anyone with tourette’s would fit the discription that the author tells of. I feel that people with tourettes usually do not want attention on themselves and therefore do not complain so much. I wish I never found your website. Your are like one of those nasty commentators like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh.
Thanks for the inspiration. Thanks for nothing. I hope you find the girl of your dreams,
My advice to you:
Embrace eugenics.. by embracing euthanasia.
And we all know where that’s comeing from.
I am a woman and I pretty much love this website. Women bitch about guys and stereotype them as chauvinists 90% of the time, so half the girls on this site should stop being so up themselves and get a sense of fucking humour! Christ..
Her talking too much means you have failed to train her as a dedicated cock sucker, you can hardly blame her for this, not having a cock in her mouth gives her too much to blurb about, train her to speak less and suck more - simple!
So, you saying that speaking about women, where they go wrong, should ba a taboo, like the way it was so far??
When you complain, you’re trying to have somebody else solve your problems. Men don’t do that so easily. They do their best to solve their own problems. That’s why they’re reluctant to ask for directions for instance. They don’t want to trouble other people unnecessarily.
Men on this site are not asking for help. They are commiserating and having a laugh.
Ok you’re saying that women always complain, pretty much. So tell me what do you consider those voicemails hundreds of guys leave? Hm sounds a lot like they’re complaining. However who cares what I think right? I’m sure they’re just story telling or something, not complaining at all. Everyone fucking complains, you’re complaining about women everyday idiot. I do agree that both men and women don’t know when to shut the hell up, but it’s all based on personality, not gender. Obviously.
Heh thanks XD
“Fuck Women” yeah thats all the male head does and I mean both so if it werent for us Biotches you wouldnt even be here so go suck on that for awhile
Now there’s a novel idea!
MAN POWER! WOOO! Fuck women!
You’re a fucking moron. Wordpress is a piece of software used to generate the blog, and servers are a fucking cheap - Dick could easily host his own website from home. Good work trying to undermine freedom of speech by trying to remove anything you don’t personally agree with, too bad you’re too much of a dumbshit to get anything done. Which is one of Dick Masterson’s main points.
MenAreBetterThanWomen
Feminism, beginning with womans’ suffrage, is a destructive, evil force that must be stopped. To employ biblical language, Feminism is probably the personal creation of Satan the Devil, with the helping hand of all the demons of hell who minister to his every need!
Once again, Dick, I have to agree with you. Women really don’t know how to be quiet. This is mainly because our leaders have allowed them to have equality in our society. Why would they want equality though? Do they really want to be prancing around going to college, getting a career job, and then working their asses off? If it were up to me, I would rather stay at home and spend time with my children, cleaning table tops and floors, and baking cookies and pies, because all of those things are easy. But that just isn’t my place. I understand the responsibilities God has bestowed upon me as a man, however, it seems that women don’t understand their responsibilities anymore. In other words, they are “out of line”. In fact, you won’t see many women with careers, military jobs, or leadership positions before the 1960’s and 1970’s. Before those times, women weren’t allowed in those positions. Why? Because they weren’t cut out for it, and everyone agreed with that simple truth. For example, women were not seen preaching in church until about 50-60 years ago. Women were responsible for keeping their children in line with God, just like a sheep dog directs sheep into a pen. It didn’t take much thought or understanding of the word of God to do. All it meant was they had to keep their kids away from sin, which isn’t such a hard task. Men were the ones who preached in church because men understood the word of God, and didn’t manipulate the word of God to fit their lifestyle. Women cannot stand the fact that if they don’t repent and don’t love and follow the word of God and the example of Jesus Christ that they may one day be in Hell. Men realized this, and didn’t allow women to manipulate the word of God to, let’s say, “water it down”, because men knew, the word of men(or women in this case) was not the word of God, but rather, the Bible was. So there you have it. Men preached in church because they could face the harsh realities of sin, death, and Hell, and women weren’t allowed to preach because they could not bare the fear of Hell. It was known that they would manipulate the word of God and land many souls there. And guess what happened 50 years ago? Women got their rights and were freed from the word of God(I don’t know why they would want to be…oh that’s right…women don’t understand the concept called “logic”). Now take a close look at our churches and tell me if they’re preaching the word of God or a manipulated word. If everyone claims to be a Christian in America, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce in America? Women watered down the word of God, just like they do everything else…
Dick,
Holy shit, I have never seen such a tirade of emotional diarrhea from one e-mail written by a female in my entire life, actually from a client of mine, a 53 year old former divorcee complaining about whether her recently wed husband should retire as he had promised. I’ll spare you the ugly details. Suffice it to say her letter exemplifies every faux pas imaginable from the critique of Dick, ranging from “women’s stories have no fucking point” to “leave a message, not a monologue (or soliloquy as the case may be)”, and everything else in between, clearly a horseshit sandwich.
Yes, women can clearly communicate…like a mule can spell goldbrick. If you took a red pen to this sycophantic babble, the page would appear as if colored by a special ed student hooked on crack, and would likewise make better sense.
I told her to take a shut the fuck up pill. Consequently, she said she considers me family, like her little brother - how sweet!
Yep, men are better than women.
Amen
I’m sorry to my fellow women out there, but I have to agree with this post. I’m even willing to admit I dont shut the fuck up often. Mostly because my man still acts like a child.
Anyway, you guys are a trip, just as bad a women in a sewing circle, gossip, bitch, and moan, its funny how much we actually are alike.
Keep up the good work!
LOL
(female supporter of this site)
To know that female Tourettes Syndrome exists is to take a 5 hour car trip with a woman. You can’t listen to the radio for 5 minutes on that 5 hour trip but she won’t shut the fuck up. It’s real important shit, too: her friend Mandy has a boyfriend that may be cheating, the neighbor girl is having problems with a bunch of her friends, the other neighbor girl is pissed-off and withholding sex because her live-in boyfriend got drunk at their house party and said something embarrassing. WHY WOULD I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS SHIT?!?!
The difference is that I have a very rewarding job as an aerospace engineer. The average woman is so fucking lazy that their goal in life is to marry a guy with money and have nothing to do but stay home and watch TV or go spend his money on stupid shit at the mall.
When speaking, women think that quantity=quality. Men don’t talk unless there’s something meaningful to say. Women just let their minds wander and blather about whatever worthless shit pops into their heads. 5 hours of “conversation” and she only says 3 sentences that have any value whatsoever.
It’s like that everywhere. The public schools cater to girls and treat boys to hate themselves and bow to girls.
About the whole alimony thing… men get alimony too. Just look at Britney Spears having to pay Kevin Federline.
Find an intelligent hobby to participate in, and there will be worthwhile women there. If you can make it in, try Mensa or another similar group. If not, any intellectual activity will do.