Fuck Marriage
This is a very important and very special MenAreBetterThanWomen because it’s a treatise on my favourite topic: marriage. The conclusion is this:
Do not get married!
Do not do it now. Do not do it later. Do not do it for looks. Do not do it for money. Do not do it for sex. Do not do it because people want you to. Do not do it because a woman wants you to. Do not do it because The Bible says to do it. Do not do it to have children. Do not do it for tax purposes. And especially — the most important reason of all reasons every thrown into a reason oven and baked on Man degrees for a day and a half — do not get fucking married for love!
There’re three reasons why you shouldn’t get married, and when I say three I mean there are about a fucking billion reasons why not to get married. That’s one for every skin cell of the woman you’re dating that’s going to turn into a wrinkled mess inside of 20 years.
There are three big reasons though.
1. It’s against your manstincts.
When in the whole universe of fuck has a man’s manstincts ever been wrong about anything. I’ve seen a man punch through a wall twice in a row using his manstincts and not hit a single fucking stud. I’ve seen a man win 30,000 American Dollars at a Black Jack table using his manstincts. My cousin had a dog who wandered over 100 miles home from a stranger’s house in the course of two weeks. Guess what gender that dog was. I’ll give you a hint. It had a fucking dick.
Men’s manstincts are never wrong. That’s because men’s brains are super-charged with experience, a special lubricating coating I call Think Juice, and about 60 times the processing power of women. Women don’t have the brains to have instincts. They barely have the fucking brain power to walk upright. That’s probably why women used to wear gloves.
2. You don’t have to.
Have you ever seen one of those tags on the bottom of a mattress that says “Fuck Off. Don’t Remove This Tag”? I’ve never seen one, but I’ve seen plenty of comedians talk about them so they might as well be real for the purposes here. You know what happens when you remove one of those tags? Not a fucking thing.
How about this. Have you ever walked on grass where a sign said “Do Not Fuck Around on the Grass” or had a fourth pint when woman said you shouldn’t have a fourth pint?
Fucking of course! That’s called being a goddamn man. And what happened after you perpetrated that shit? Absolutely nothing. That is exactly what happens when a women threatens you with anything in exchange for marriage.
I’ve seen the fucking The Rock. I’ve seen every movie starring Nicholas Cage like six times because he’s the most mantastic actor of the day. I remember the part where his hot girlfriend threatened him with a break-up if they didn’t get married.
Scary huh? She was awfully hot.
The I also remember the part in The Rock when Sean Connery had hair and the US President didn’t sound like a fucking hillbilly. The Rock was a piece of fucking fiction. Real women never follow through on anything in their goddamn lives. Only women who are written by men do that. If a woman ever threatens you over a missing ring, tell her to go fuck herself. She won’t. Women are too sex crazed to stop coming back for it over some fucking ring. Please. We’re talking about the gender who’d fuck Lionel Ritchie because he can sing. You think they can cut off sex on tap over a dowry. Fuck you.
3. Plausible Deniability
If you go into a bank with a ski mask on a gun in your pocket, you’re probably going to get stopped at the door — or sent into some kind of fucking man trap, I don’t know. I don’t run a bank. Better yet, if you see someone in the middle of the street crack a beer, unbelt, and then drop their pants to the ground; guess what. They’re about to do something fucking stupid.
That’s what getting married is. You’re signing a fucking binding — a Fuck You binding contract in an imaginary, somehow non-sexist world where women have no earning power past 30, that says you will support their ass out of pure benevolence and with no expectation other than getting harangued by a raging fucking bitch about 6 years passed her prime.
Do not go into a bank with fucking ski mask on and a sack of potatoes in your pocket. Do not pull down your pants in public if you aren’t about to do something funny. Do not get married unless you can look in the mirror and say this:
“Hello, <your name said derisively>. Five years from now, I want to indefinitely support an adult woman long after she has stopped fucking me, started fucking as many other guys as possible, and always, always acts like a raging bitch.”
Trick question. You can’t say that because you’re a fucking man.
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The meaning you didn’t catch is that Nazi ingrates believe that women are corrupted by jews/blacks/browns.
Every single story of men falling because of women in history happened in isolated one-ethnic societies from Eden to Greece or Rome or wherever. It happened long before the West embraced multiculturalism.
Women don’t need any fucking coaxing or corrupting from imaginary serpants to betray and destroy you, it comes as naturally as man’s dumbfuck urge to try to fix and monoganize a beast such as the female.
Just get what you need from women and nod your head as her incessant drunk ranting takes place, and just keep fucking nodding all the way to bed. That’s it.
If you’re one of those soft men who need companionship and all that trash, get a fucking dog. Don’t be a cuckold.
Men are more moral than women x20.
I’ll take advice on life from SS men when I take advice from women. When pigs fucking fly.
Of course I’ll still read your posts from time to time hoping it has something worthy.. just as I nod my head at the bitch hitting on me while she tells me about her ex or her job or her kids like I give a fuck.
What were you doing with a fat, diabetic woman?
Dick is right. Marriage is definitely the pits. I had a girlfriend a while back who cheated on me because I refused to consider marriage as an addition to our relationship. Not only was she not working, but she was fat as hell and diabetic, which meant I’d spend the best years of my life working for her needs.
I admit that marrying foreign women is better than the usual pond scum that are available to us, but why take the chance? Watch an American man walk into the store with his foreign-born wife and see how many glares come from the selfish, jealous women!
“They’re taking our men away!” the women whine. Well, I wonder why!
I read your entire post. ANS = Dude, probably, but don’t forget one thing: Women cause us pain cause we let them. When men cause us pain we do any or all of the following things: Ignore them, quit the job, never talk to them again, or commit a nasty Felony of some sort. We DON’T spend tortured nights dreaming of where they are or who they are fucking. In fact, we probably forget all about every guy we know within 10 seconds of ending our last conversation. If they are assholes, which most men are, they’re gone - or at least they are in my book. We DON’T CARE about men the same way we do women. The emo is completely different.
Men aren’t saints, they’re sinners, so are women. Men cheat, women cheat, men steal your woman, women do the same to other women, but i’d bet you’ve never thought about busting a cap on any woman who stole a guy, even if it was your brother or something. We’re here to bitch about how crazy women are and maybe just maybe learn a thing or two. But don’t try to portray men as morally “better” cause they’re not -more logical and predictable maybe, but better - no.
BTW Female, are you reading this - how do you like them apples?
It’s not up to me that women view this site. It’s the internet and therefore free for everyone.
Since your a guest here (women) there is a disclaimer Dick makes very clear THIS IS A MANS SITE. If you don’t like it leave, plain and simple, don’t stick around and banter, and try and beat on us like your married to us, just get your ever expanding ass back into the kitchen and cook your man something to eat and then give him a blow job and tell him Banzai sent ya! -You’re welcome
Think of this site like you’re watching TV, you can watch it, change the channel or turn it off, but you can’t interactive with it.
I don’t know if this is a humor site or not, frankly, I don’t care. There is alot of good stuff going on here, humor, wisdom, truth, sincerity, drama, and the sharing of ideas. But first and foremost, this is a mans site, a safe place in the sea of darkness where we can be comfortable and let our hair down. It is almost biblical in nature.
Since women do view this site, they may learn a thing or two about men. What it’s like to walk in our shoes if even for a moment.
We’re not hard to figure out, give us great sex, good food and reciprocate. Learn to fix a flat tire. Do it often and don’t talk (unless you’re talking dirty to us while riding our manpole). Don’t bother us during “Monday Night Football” unless it is for the above reasons during half-time ONLY. Repeat as necessary! (and don’t forget to say “thank you” to us, we’re not rude barbarians).
There, I’ve just cracked the barrier between men and women. I’ve just done a great man thing for mankind (I’ll give myself 100 manpoints). I’ve just saved countless marriages and counsling fees.
I like stopping in from time-to -time to catch up and maybe contribute and share some of my many years of experience on this planet with younger folks and confirm that I am not alone in my feelings and beliefs.
We are different. I believe now more than ever before that men are better than women and that marriage is prone to failure (I should know, I’ve made that mistake twice. I actually thought it would be different 9 yrears later, boy was I wrong).
Men are better than women not because this site tells us so, but because history chronicles it. From the time we were single cell amoeba to modern day peoples.
The Bible tells us so. Adam obeyed and did not eat the apple. That woman had to eat from the tree of knowledge and dragged poor Adam right down the tubes with her and got them both thrown out of the garden. I think the garden of Eden would have been a wonderful place to hang out, drink beer and shoot the shit, but oh-no, Eve had to get us banished from it. Since Eve did it behind his back, we won’t take any man points away from Adam.
“I Love Lucy” tells us so. Lucy never listened to ricky and always put her nose where it didn’t belong. Why do you think Ricky was always saying “Luceeee, Ju got sum splainin tu do”. Kudos to Ethel though, she did try to talk Lucy out of shit.
I am old school and was brought up to respect women, protect them, never hit them and encourage equality and help build the their self esteem and to be honest and faithful to them.
When I first started dating I played the game by the rules. Ater 36 years of dating, some of that time married, what I found true then is still true today. There are fundamentals at work here:
The rules of marriage are outdated and work against us men. In theory, it’s supossed to be utopia, but in reality, it’s a living hell.
Love is bullshit and women play the trade up game constantly. The fact is that size does matter (penis, bank account, status, home, popularity, etc).
Women will tell you differently but their girlfriends will agree it is true!
Another fundamental concept I discovered then is that women adore attention (there is an article in this site somewhere that addresses it).
In high school, I had an art class and sat next to a beautiful young lady. I was very shy then and could not express myself very well, so I did the best I could with my limited social skills.
I would bring her a cup of hot chocolate eachday before class would start. She would not even acknowledge my existance. This would go on for a few weeks before I realized that she was not interested in me.
There were many tables (groups of 8) so I sat at another one next to a young lady that was not as pretty but appeared friendlier.
I started bringing her a cup of hot chocolate and low and behold, the other girl got jealous and started persuing me. I ignored her and she persued me even more (go figure). She invited me over to her home for dinner (even though she had a boyfriend. I politely declined).
I learned early on a fundamental rule about women and attention.
Over the years, many simillar things like that has happened to me. Women would cancel dates with me because other guys had a nicer car or was taking them to a more popular spot in town. (don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated plenty and went to wonderful restaraunts, plays and musicals in the West Los angeles area).
I hasten to say that it was a lack of attraction or they would not have even accepted a date in the first place (or would they?).
If they have nothing better going on that weekend, then they will probably go out with with you to avoid being bored and staying home alone unless a better deal comes along. Then you will get the date-break phone call (you’ve just been traded up).
Through a womens eyes, this seems perfectly normal (to trade up for a better deal) but as man, I can tell you that we have INTEGRITY and would never do that to a woman. If we ask you out, we will take you out.
If Heather Locklear called and asked us to cancel our date plans with you, we would likely turn her down (we would kick ourselves for it later, but we would do it). OK, she’s the exception, if Heather calls me, I’m dating her!!
Women view us as being stupid nuckle dragging cretons, but we have heart, are inteligent and are sensitive. Maybe we do have egos, but I never said that we were perfect, just better than women.
I have many, many stories but that is fodder for another cannon and in time I’ll share them with you.
The moral is that we men are better than women.
This is not meant as an insult to the female gender, but merely to show them that though we’re not perfect, we certainly don’t deserve to be shit on by them.
Life is not a game. We always take care of business and do right by those in our lives. We’re not perfect but we do the best we can with what God gave us. We’re forthright.
If you want a game, buy “Monopoly”
-Banzai
argggg
Wow. No, I didn’t know that. From the education I’ve received here, I was under the impression that females were biologically incapable of orgasm. Yet again, sexist contradictions are perplexing me, but I’ll go with your “fact” sooner than I’d go with the other.
I do know that I spontaneously had an orgasm one time while driving my car when it hit 180km, so yeah, I guess a food binge might also work. You don’t want to know what happens to me at 3 Gs.
You don’t read well which we knew already. He said “It’s a mythical magical joy of girlhood, so it must be true!”
Mythical! Pretending to enjoy sex because that is the only power women have to snag a guy and his money. Women have no other power.
Orgasm at 180km? No the excitement caused you to poot and that is not the same. At 3 Gs my guess is you would crap your panties.
What? Touchy feelies hahahahahaha
You seem a tad bit despirate to proove something. Wow, it seems the deeper I pry into that facade you call arousal, the more you divulge. Nonetheless, I enjoy seeing girls trying to enjoy sex, so at least there’s a show from my end.
And science speaks otherwise. You seem to be circumventing the question, though… why do you keep posting here if you’re always proven wrong? Typing the same inane banter will not make it true. The facts come smack against your face. Logic is logic, and it isn’t about touchy feelies or emotion. It’s about finding the best, fastest, rightest way to get something done. And if it’s fucking a girl, you can be sure as hell that it’ll be for my sake, and not her’s.
And that’s what girls want. They want a man who is strong and will be able to pick up the slack where her god/evolutionary-given feebleness is so precisely placed. Girls just give sex if you realise the riddle and go with it. I’m not going to be sexist. I’m going to be fair to everyone and judge every person, man or woman, by the same set of standards. And if that makes girls look weak, tough shit. That’s their problem, not mine.
Oh noooooooooooooooo. Again? Dammit.
Wow. No, I didn’t know that. From the education I’ve received here, I was under the impression that females were biologically incapable of orgasm. Yet again, sexist contradictions are perplexing me, but I’ll go with your “fact” sooner than I’d go with the other.
I do know that I spontaneously had an orgasm one time while driving my car when it hit 180km, so yeah, I guess a food binge might also work. You don’t want to know what happens to me at 3 Gs.
You don’t need any motivation to be annoying, Female.
Yes, why would I want that? I’m not a girl, worrying about things like becoming a hopeless spincetor really isn’t my place to be. Hint, hint.
Einstein was a womanizer. Caesar was a womanizer. Claudius - well, his greatest flaw was his faith in girls. And that’s how we got Nero. We could have one technologically advanced, kick-ass league of nations, but no, some bitch had to have her say.
I like the way you discount sex, by the way. Actually, that never happens. It’s always the opposite. Girls fuck guys to gain acceptance and trust from them. Guys fuck girls because we can orgasm and love sex.
Now scurry along, missy, I’d really hate to keep you from your frilly dresses and dolls. See, we can both be in our own realities:
Reality, with it’s scantily clad babes, wars, philosophies, peace, religion, clashes, resolutions, and diversity for me
AND
BarbieLand (TM), the land of magic and imagination. Sure, whatever you do there doesn’t count for shit in the real world, or it does in that it rots your little brain even further. And that is why whores are even dumber than babies.
Another loss for you, Female. Now why don’t you go stuff your face with ice cream while you cry, watching a shitty movie, looking forwards to a good binge…
Speaking of which, did you know binges make girls spontaniously orgasm? It’s a mythical magical joy of girlhood, so it must be true!
Now why would he want that?
you’re dying to know my measurements aren’t you SonyAD. Let’s just say I don’t get any complaints;
You didn’t lose any weight, then?
- Benassi Bros - Blackbird
I never said you didn’t, and that’s hardly a difficult thing to do. The trick is to get a girl to actually like you for more than a utilitarian biological function. I’d say you’d have quite a bit of difficulty achieving that.
As for me being obnoxious. Damn straight. I’ll give as good as I get from an obnoxious idiot. And then some.
Ooh, you lost me there…
And you were so close to getting more than a passing glimpse of my mind’s eye at your cleavage. Sorry, but there’s always next time. Say, why don’t you bring your fat ass right back here and explain yourself on the 3rd of nevember, two-thousand and null? Write that date down so it doesn’t leak out of your girl mind.
I get laid all the time - and I don’t pay for the drinks because I don’t have a disempowerment fetish. I pay for my drink, but say “That’s just sexist” whenever a girl asks for a drink. And it works, I show I have a spine and can hold my limits. If she says she’s broke, etc., I just loan her some money so she’s indebted to me. Only a man-mind could create such a utilitarian, efficient system.
And female, how hard is it for you to realise you’ve overstayed your welcome? Does it take a man throwing your fat naked ass out of his dorm for it to dawn on you that maybe, maybe you’re an obnoxious whore?
and here’s a timely example of passive aggressive abuse towards a woman right here for you Doubt.
Here’s a question for all of you men. Do you honestly think that you are going to get any girl to fall for you when you view the female sex with condescension and disrespect? Don’t believe the BS that all women fall for men who treat them like shit, it is only the women (or girls) with emotional or financial or substance abuse problems that date assholes.