Fuck You, Eco-Cunts.
“9 out of 10 women say they’d rather chat up a guy who owns the latest fuel-efficient car versus the latest sports car,” says a survey brought to us by GM — a company that sells electric fucking cars.
As a man who owns a bitchin sports convertible that runs on premium, burns through tires like they’re made of wax, and makes eco-friendly cars piss themselves with oil when it rumbles by (like in the Transformers movie), I feel I should respond to the above survey.
9 out of 10 women: I don’t give a shit about you.
You 90% of women are the lower 90% of women. You are the 1’s, 2’s, 3’s, 4’s, 5’s, 6’s, 7’s, 8’s, and 9’s of the world and you can go fuck a midget for all I care. You’re not hot enough for me to pretend you even exist.
If you want to know why 9 out of 10 women “prefer” men who drive eco-friendly cars, watch a movie called A Beautiful Mind and take notes. Those women “prefer” losers because they are losers. They know they can’t get any better so they change their preferences to maximize their benefits. It’s straight economics. Then watch a movie called Caddyshack.
“The world needs ditch diggers too.”
Eco-friendly” cars are not better for the environment.
It takes 113,000,000 BTUs of energy to build one of those futuristic pussy-mobiles called a Toyota Prius; which is not only a loss of Man Points to own and drive, but also a loss of Man Points to rent, ride in, fuck in, or even see rolling down the street. 113,000,000 BTU’s equals 1,000 gallons of gasoline. You could drive a 98 Toyota Tercel on that amount of gasoline for like 7 years. That means by purchasing an “eco-friendly” car, you are pissing away 7 years of driving in one fucking purchase. If you don’t get 7 years of driving out of that hybrid piece of shit (which the warantee guarantees you won’t) you just fucked Mother Earth.
Buying a hybrid is like walking into Cesar’s Palace and tipping the valet ten grand instead of dropping it on a roulette wheel. You can uncross your fingers, fucko. Vegas doesn’t give comps for burning cash.
Old cars are better for the environment than new hybrid cars. So why don’t we promote old cars as the “eco-friendly” alternative to hybrids?
Women don’t buy used shit.
Look at fashion. Look at furniture. Look at babies. Women won’t take anything used even if it means increasing the global quality of life. In this case, that means pollution. Other times, it means sex lube. So what if the seal on the lube bottle was broken? You’re not a virgin either, princess.
That’s called PR.
“Green” cars are horseshit marketed toward women and this survey proves it. This is how women read the above survey:
9 out of 10 women prefer guys who save the environment…and if you don’t, you must be some kind of stupid, gold-digging bimbo!
Ka-ching! Ring up another hybrid for the girl daddy didn’t love enough. Here are some more statistics from a survey geared so hard toward women it’s got less cock than a Ken doll.
“Eighty percent of American car buyers would find someone with the latest fuel-efficient car more interesting to talk to at a party than someone with the latest sports car.”
True. But only because a man who defines himself by his fucking car doesn’t exist. Except maybe in the deluded feminist fantasies of every uptight, eco-crusading bitch in the world who thinks her vagina is made out of porcelain. It doesn’t break if you use it, honey. Put out once or twice and you stupid, tight-assed, eco-cunts might just enjoy a ride or two in a car that can do 60 in under twenty seconds.
If I defined myself by my car, 19 year old girls with freshly printed high school degrees would line up to fuck me. Unfortunately for the other 80% of you whores, I have too many other things to define myself by. And so do all men with awesome cars. Men with awesome cars define themselves by their awesome jobs, their awesome stories, and their awesome attitudes. These are the things with which bitchin sports cars are earned. They are one in the same.
Only women could be sold self-esteem by hybrid car salesmen. Women could be sold ice cubes in Alaska by a fucking vending machine.
Besides, in what universe is a stupid hybrid car more interesting than a fifteen thousand dollar watch with a meteorite in the face? Fuck you, GM.
“More than 40% of 18 to 43 year olds say it’s a fashion faux pas nowadays to have a car that’s not green or environmentally friendly.”
I wonder which 40% of the 18-43 year old population know what a “fashion faux pas” is. Fucking women.
Eco-friendly cars are not fashion.
Anyone who thinks they are (women) is someone who will treat them like “fashion”. Women exchange their car every 3 years until their lease is so far upside down it’s making Happy Meal toys. Women equip their fashionable car with enough fashionable consumable bullshit to clog a landfill. Women wreck the idea of eco-friendly cars before they even start simply because they can’t commit to anything.
An eco-friendly car only works if you drive it until it falls apart. If you keep trading it in, you’re not just fucking Mother Earth, you’re wiping your dick on her curtains and punting her cat across the lawn on your way out.
Manclusion
If the world went by a woman’s definition of “eco-friendly”, we’d all just paint our shit green and learn to stop breathing through our noses. That way our own green shit wouldn’t stink us to death.
Men are better than women at being eco-friendly with our cars. By buying a bitchin sports car, I have funded innovation, I have encouraged young girls to eat less so they might one day get their skinny little asses inside my Lexus sex machine and therefore, I have decreased fuel spent on growing crops for their fat asses. I have saved the world, but more importantly, I have punted 9 out of 10 of world’s bitches out of my sex pool.
The GM survey
Wired Weighs in on Eco-Friendly Cars - How many women read Wired? None who don’t have a penis.
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For me, one of the most horrifying sights is to see a pantsuit-dressed (and presumably upper middle-class), obviously well-fed (obese with several chins), woman stepping out of a SUV. I see this as emblematic of the downfall of western culture. Disgusting.
“Women exchange their car every 3 years until their lease is so far upside down it’s making Happy Meal toys.”
Now I get it - so far upside down that it’s on the other side of the Earth, in China, and doing cheap labor, like making Happy Meal toys, and thereby consuming even more energy.
That one took me a while, but thank God, for a moment I thought I was a woman, and lost my common sense, as well as my sense of humor!
Go and make your wife breakfast Sandman. You are the reason dune coons did 9/11. Fucking mangina spastic. I hope you wife gets her tit removed after cancer spreads to her arse.
Wow. Way to completely go overboard and prove that you’re a total piece of shit. You degrade every man with class that visits this site.
And of course Dick…great article. I particularly enjoyed this one.
True motorcycles do get good MPG. But you also run the risk of getting hit by women driving SUV’s
Inspiring post (I’m not joking). If I remember correctly motorcycles get excellent gas mileage. Maybe thats what Ill do….
Women shouldn’t be driving anyway. Unless they need to transported to the finish line of a motorsport event to dress like a cunt and wave a fucking flag like a kid with cerebral palsy.
All women should be in Austrian style sex basements, getting fucked. Fucked like the whores they are. How fucking ridiculous would you feel having a gaping hole between your legs that millions of large six foot tall great apes that create bridges and space shuttles want to slide stiff dicks in and out of for five minutes until said stiff dick blows its stack.
Premature FOR WHO? Is the question on every man’s lips, right as a loogie comes out of those lips into your sister’s fat cocksucking cake hole.
No bitch should dare get in the Doggy position without a complete fresh soapy shower where she paid close attention to her arse hole. I don’t know what kind of low down cunts I have been fucking but if I had a dollar for every time i’ve had to just say ‘fuck it’ get on your stomach, just to close that smell down, I would be an even richer man.
Seriously have you seen the film, french film ‘romance’ with the circular room with the bitches arse holes sticking out of corrals in a corridor? Like cattle or cows getting milked? And guys would just fuck them? And move on to the next one, like a giant doughnut shaped building with glory holes every few feet, with a cunt in each corral? That is the shit I am talking about. That is the platform I am running on.
If men were free to go to work, catch trains, and work in office towers and make shit and move and shake. And there was a sex dungeon handy stocked with bitches freshly douched etc… productivity and GDP would go through the roof. The only bitches allowed would be the sex slaves… and we could just use science to make all our SONS out of our sperm and some kind of chosen female celebrity. Who we killed and cloned for every sex dungeon.
We could save the environment with my plan too. Less bitches. Less methane from farts. We could have an endless supply of cloned sluts who are euthanized after a certain age, say 20. Then we just keep them nearby in pens much like smoking areas today. Men could take a break from going over blueprints, and duck in and bust a nut in some cloned cunt’s facial expression.
Then back to the blueprints. We could set up a lube factory in china. Spermicide or some shit. No it wouldn’t matter we just kill every clone that gets preggo. We could breed them with a mixed gene chimera thing so they have the brain of a canary yet the body of a hot slut. Then we would only feel as guilty when they become goners as we are when drop food on the ground.
You see what I wrote SLUT who comes here!!??? You’re an object. To everybody. Your alleged ‘thoughts’ are things you stole from some PC newscast that wanted you to buy some Tide. I’d fuck you if you were unconscious. That’s the thing you need to realize.
Bitches, one more thing…. This is important as fuck so take it the fuck in ok, take it in like you would a stranger’s three day saved up KING LOAD on a saturday night… take in what I am about to say because it is truer than the fact your mother’s cunt smells like a shoe…
WHEN a man….. even if he is your husband…. right down to if you met him three hours ago at the pub…. when a man has his cock inside your face, cunt, or arse…. this is what he is thinking….
“Fuck that feels good” (not something YOU are doing, he is talking about the way God made your body wet, smooth, soft, and gripping like, and the fact that he is attracted the female body because he is normal and a caveman ape)
he is thinking also….
“Take it… You fucking bitch” (you look like a fucking fuckslut, just sitting there with a rod going in and out of you)
“I just met this cunt, she doesn’t know if I have aids, and I am about to do the most sacred intimate act a man and woman can do with this whore, what a pathetic cunt she is, man I wish her Dad could see her now so I could fucking make you blow some bubbles for him with my come while I laugh in his face in slo mo audio)
“You honestly think this about ‘love’…. ‘making love’ you say… put that pussy on my dick and move that arse cunt” (This is your delusion… you have nothing special to offer, this isn’t two minds coming together and loving each other, that is delusion, this is an evolved great ape, trained to get a boner when he sees holes to fuck, and he’s fucking those holes, and he’s gonna come soon, and that feels good)
This is what he is thinking deep inside, silently, or if he is funny as fuck, he is saying it out loud while you are being a spitoon.
You have no personality. There are no girls with good personalities. The only girl there is someone who do what you want in the bedroom, and essentially learn to keep her dumb fucking mouth shut.
Unless it is skull fuck hour of course. In which case if I feel teeth, you feel a phonebook to your stomach followed by bruise-less punch in the torso…
You’ve got a hole between you legs that feels smooshy and warm and wet. You’re a clown. You let men treat the organ you are supposed to be using to take a shit as a fucking alternate tightness hole, like you are a set of chrome spanners in a cabinet in the garage. The mouth you speak to your mother with is a further option. You get flowers and get told someone loves you, chiefly because you have multiple places to make an erect penis feel nice and climax in. When you become slack in your skin, or if you overeat, your worth will diminish EVEN FURTHER.
You want shiny things, and some prestigious shit to tell your cunthole friends that your husband does… better hit the fucking treadmill as Dick says…. because the day you can’t suck a mean dick, is the day they might as well harvest your fucking kidneys, fucking both of them, and your god damn slut liver.
“Cooch screamin, suckin semen, needin cleanin, how you feelin?” - Ice Cube
“Fuck them bitches…. fuck em all!” - Eminem.
I like your spirit N.M., but a driving a Prius ain’t gonna’ lessen anything (except your man points).
If you really want to stop sending oil money to terrorists, convert a diesel engine to run on fry-oil, or a gas engine to run on producer gas.
That is a most manly thing to do because:
A) You’ll be working ina garage full of noisy tools, filthy floors, and grease (woman kryptonite).
B) If you know nothing about automotification, now is your chance to be a manprentice to someone who does.
C) You’ll force steel, aluminum, and plastic to do your bidding.
D) If you go diesel, your ride will smell like a greasy spoon when you run it!
E) If you go producer gas, you’ll be burning wood to run your ride! (Take that, sALly Gore!)
F) Instead of yawping like an oil-hog woman, you’ll be taking matters into your own filthy, grease-stained hands and personally stick it to the oil sheiks and tax collectors, simply by using locally available fuels that cost virtually nothing compared to muslim oil.
G) Everyone will ask you about your not-like-everyone-else-mobile, giving you a chance to flex your bragadociousness and manspire the men around you.
I’m no expert man point valuator, but that’s gotta be shfifty-five zillion man points either way you go.
-Rawkstah
Much of this female environmentalism comes from Hollywood. Actresses who have had some success start feeling guilty because they’ve given a shit about no one but themselves for their entire lives. So, they become environmentalists to help alleviate that guilt, and, in the process, become even more annoying.
Green cars, what a joke.
I always laugh when I pass by one of those pieces of shit and the girl in the passenger seat watches me with desperate envy. Wishing she was in the place of the girl in my passenger seat.
Strangely enough…, the Smart fortwo is actually a decent drive if you’re looking for a city car capable of some okay handling…
Nothing useful aside from that however, and eco-mentalists being their major buyer doesn’t help either.
Ironically, the Smart isn’t a very green car. It was built with city commuting in mind, not greenery. It gets terrible gas mileage for such a tiny car… but all the women get damp down south the moment they see one because they think the driver is a green eco-mentalist… What rubbish…, and typical of women.
I lost my license (dui) and now ride my bike. Noticed quite a few guys riding their bikes. Not one woman. Too fat, too narcisistic (called self-esteem), and too fucking lazy. And yet when I see a man driving some fancy roadster, I’m happy for him. I know it’s a guy that put his ass on the line to achieve something great, and that car is the expression of his achievement. Good for him I say, and then I get to work.
If women really wanted to help the environment they’d stay the fuck out of the workplace in the first place. Less gas wasted, less pollution, a lot less traffic, and no bitches in the fucking workplace.
I know I’m going to be slammed for saying this but I’m going to say it anyway. In the United States, I feel that gas-guzzling cars are a national security issue. I feel we should do everything in our power not to support the oil-rich arab nations like Saudi Arabia b/c to some degree they sponsor the spread of fundamental islamicism and terrorism. So I am all for Prius’s, or anything else that lessens are dependence on foreign oil. I don’t give a fuck about going from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds but I do give a serious fuck about preserving western tradition (excluding female entitlement).
I think one thing that really pisses me off about women is that they demand a guy to drive a car that makes them feel secure. My mom has a problem with SUV’s (as I do), but she cannot see that the Lexus my dad drives for her burns up as much fuel as a standard SUV; if I were to try to point out that logic she wold not listen to me. For women, their personal security trumps everything else even if it is a national security concern. This suspension of logic on the part of women to fulfill their instinctual desires for security strikes me at times as selfish, and it drives me absolutely fucking bananas and I don’t know if Ill ever date again.
Had a choice between a turbo charged sports car and a eco-bitch car.
Then the man brain turned on and there was only the turbo :)
Until a “eco” car can do 60 under 5 seconds, not going to bother, especially with the ridiculous eco pricing.
You bring up a good point where women can be sold into things way too easy. I remember there was some TV show where They were having all these women signing a petition for women suffrage. Finally there comes a women with at least half a brain and tells the other women that women suffrage gives them the right to vote. they’re all signing away their right to vote!!!
Nic Cage wouldn’t drive a prius.
Nic Cage would smash your sister in the face, fuck her skull hard, Brandon Iron style before he would sink to eco lows.
Excellent article. Dick’s articles are like a fountain of knowledge, i always learn something in each new one i read. Nice work keep ‘em commin!
Motorcycles rock, cars suck.
This is Classic Dick material for sure.