Vicarious Prostitute
There’s a hilarious show coming out this fall on ABC that I’m really looking forward to. It’s called Commander in Chief. And it’s about a delightfully mismatched pair of political pundits who get into all kinds of outrageous, wacky shenanigans.
I haven’t read anything about it, but I’m sure that’s what it’s about. The reason I know is because the show is about a woman (Geena Davis) being president. And if there’s any more fertile ground for outrageousness or shenanigan, then it’s probably got something to do with drunken Leprechauns.
Let me tell you why I will love this show.
This show is going to give us our first chance to ask the questions that everyone wants to know about a woman being president. Just like how the Brady Bunch asked the question, ‘would anyone give a shit if a family of dudes moved in with a family of broads?’ It turns out the answer was no. It was no for that, it will be no for this. No one gives any kind of a shit.
We also might get an answer for the age old dilemma of putting a woman in any kind of position of power that we men can actually say out loud without getting stoned. What happens when she’s on her period?
Will civilization be over in less time than it took The Lord or Gozer the Gozerian or Whoever The Fuck You Want to build it in the first place? Probably. That means the series will play very much like 24, except instead of hours it will be days. And as a man, I love a good suspense. It lets me exercise both my powers of deduction and my powers of talking during a show at maximum capacity.
Granted, I personally have never seen a woman act like any more of a shrill cow during a special part of the month, but it allegedly happens. Even scientists say so.
Mostly I’m thrilled about this fictional show of a woman being president for the same reason I’m thrilled every time there’s a new documentary on Hugh Hefner or a new Batman cartoon series. I will never be Batman. In fact, no man will ever be Batman. The lawsuits Batman would have to cover to continue his vigilante crusade would be outrageous — especially to enforce the thousands of Non Disclosure Agreements that he would have scattered across half of China and the Silicon Valley to support his cache of gadgets and doodads.
What I’m saying is, remember when Geena Davis made that movie about women pretending to play baseball? You know what happens when women today start to get uppity and want to start petitioning or whining or whatever women usually do as a first step to the Major League Baseball president to subsidize them an actual league of their own? They just go to Blockbuster and they fucking rent the actual A League of Their Own, and that’s as close as they ever get. If there was a similar movie about crying and whining and club-footing your way through a season about basketball, then there would be no fucking WNBA. And wouldn’t that be great.
That’s why there’s the Oxygen network and Women’s Entertainment. So women can sit back on the couch and enjoy a bag of Doritos instead of actually doing any of the bullshit that those channels sell by the trough.
And that’s why I think this is going to be a great show.
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Watcher=Mr. Empty-pants!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
The posts here by women are so very telling. The comments generally espouse to the idea of ‘behavior modification’ of men. Men are sick of women’s self absorbed behavior and suggesting how we should change to accommodate your life. Modify this, baby. When women are perfect in every way, get back to me. Until then, put a sock in it. Those that criticize men every other minute remind me how happy I am to be a man, unencumbered by emotional bullshit and dissatisfaction with my life 24 hours a day. Women go through life blaming men for their lot in life instead of really being gender equal in deed, not just talk, and taking responsibility for themselves and the endless crap that comes out of their mouths. That is one pathetic existence. Gender equality? It’s a sham perpetrated on men to try and keep them on the defensive. The good thing is most of us are hipped up to the trick and no longer victims of the so-called ‘woman’s movement’. We see it for what it was; it never turned into an ‘is’. Women reverted back to their old ways, using their bodies to get what they want, playing victim 24 hours a day when they break the law, and crying on cue to manipulate men and the system. Yeah, you’ve come a long way, baby – not. If today’s American woman is a shining example of what the movement was all about, it was a dismal failure for the most part. Gender equality? Right, heard ya. Men that hit women are bad, I agree. Women that abuse men; hitting, smacking, kicking, emotionally abusing, verbally abusing; what about that behavior? According to women, no problem; they NEVER protest when it comes to violence against men. Isn’t that interesting? Women posters will now negatively respond with boring percentages and statistics about domestic violence and how so many more men abuse women. That is because most domestic violence against men by women is not reported or hypocritical propaganda used to somehow justify her actions. Don’t waste your time or our bandwidth. Violence against a man is wrong, no matter what, baby. If he screws up, violence is just as wrong as when women repeatedly screw up. Recently a story ran about four women that plotted violence against a man that had cheated on each one of them. If every man that has ever been cheated on resorted to violence, it would be societal chaos. Women seem justified using violence against a man when he cheats, but according to these same women, it’s wrong if she cheats, He is just supposed to man up and take it. We say the same to you. Take it, or get on the bike.
Banderman :: Agreed
Liv:: Did someone just fart?
Quote from “Secrets Can Be Murder”
Instead of women having to curtail their behavior to accomodate the aggressive tendencies of men, why can’t we as a society somehow modify the behavior of men?
Many women, however seem to accept inequality as just the way it should be. Many women due to society encourage man’s behavior, because it emphasizes roles as comforting to them.
Which is why I see no reason to play this false idealism as being a weaker vessel, and being ignorant, which usually is not the case.
STFU with your stupid women’s studies bullshit. If you want men who are more like women, find a good gay guy to dote on. Meanwhile, us true men are busy securing your ability to breath, bitch.
Ooooh thtop it thweetheart, letcha hair down! :D
Relationships in which women curtail their behavior to accomodate the aggressive tendencies of men tend to LAST LONGER. When men have to modify their behavior everything just gets fucked up. Here’s another example as to how nasty women are to men.
http://cdn6.bumperstickersapp.com/bs/big.216106.jpg
Most women only deserve anal.
Most women only deserve anal.
One of the only real ways to avoid the baby trap.
The only reason men have hormones is to make whores moan.
guys have pms all the time, it’s called testosterone and we go through our whole lives with it
You’re obviously a woman b/c you’re talking out of your vagina.
guys have pms all the time, it’s called testosterone and we go through our whole lives with it
Jesus christ. Don’t fail up the site with your inane garbage. If you actually had the ability to read, or comprehend the first paragraph, dick is talking about a fictional show, not real life. There’s a difference between fantasy and reality and it’s clearly obvious that you can’t distinguish it. Also, they arent even the same article, nor do they cover the same topic. I guess the conclusion wasn’t enough to give it away…
Hiro:: Don’t be so hard on her, most of us know females have a hard time separating fantasy from reality. Ask any soap ’star’
Before she jumps on your ’speak’ spelling mistake, I’ll intercept her. It’s because in about a minute of reading, I -knew- what he meant. And thats superior to what you said which was just crap.
We dont’ care to sepak to your brother about spelling. Being male he would make more sense than you even with poor spelling. It’s a male thing. We already know you’re a bitch, nothing left to prove. Now run along and play with your barbies.
Being drunk is not an acceptable reason to escape the criminal charge of “driving while under the influence”
yet.. women.. can murder and blame it on being on the rag.
Why?
Well if you’re bitching about my spelling you should speak to my brother, he’s much worse than me. Yes, the word bitch could be used as a noun for me.
I guess that makes you a bitch then, Horty. What a surprise. A bitch who can’t spell.
-Dick
Not all women get PMS. I’m just perminantly moody and bitchy.
Note my post above, then note Nicole’s reply to it. I rest my case.
Uhoh! Speak of the devil. Am I right men?
By the way. Why do you put all that extra nonsense on your name Nicole? It’s embarassing.
-Dick
Jimbo, unless you are a woman you have no idea what pms feels like. so why don’t you do your gender a favour and just shut the fuck up.
You ignorant slut. Here we are talking about balances of power and you want to argue over PMS. Take it elsewhere!
Remember when Hillary threw a lamp at Bill when she found out he had been probing Monica Lewinski’s tonsils with his pork stick? Imagine this: Hillary (or any other woman) is president and commander-in-chief. She receives word that North Korea has an army massed on the 37th parallel, and intelligence reports suggest an attack on the south is imminent, likely to be supported by tactical nukes. Hillary has PMS. I’ll leave it up to you ladies who, by the way, are not allowed on this site, to speculate on what happens in the oval office. Here’s a hint: the various aides, chiefs of staff, and flunkies consulting with the president had better be wearing football helmets because the knicknacks are going to fly.
LMAO. You forgot to mention you can kiss bye bye south korea unless a man steps up and takes charge, of course, she’ll take the glory and the accolade, naturally.
You’ve already written about a female president.
Is it that you’re to stupid to remember this?
Or that you have run out of things to say so you’re just starting again?