Helping a Fattie
Sometimes, I feel like the doors of a Hometown Buffet ten minutes before it opens. Every day, dozens of fat broads line up to bust me down.
Settle down you fucking cows, they serve that shitty lasagna all day.
Today, I’m going to be talking about one of these fatsos. One who has captured my attention like a humpback whale off the coast of Big Sur. Fellows and gentlemen, meet Donna Jackson.
Today, I’m giving Donna Jackson the chance to shut down MenAreBetterThanWomen.com.
This past week, Donna spent dozens of hours commenting on this website and sending me poorly spelled hatemail. She also set up a petition, complained to my webhost, and alerted the National Organization for Women. Her goal? To shut me the fuck down by screaming as loud as she possibly could.
That might work on the short and fat bus, Donna — which you obviously rode to elementary school — but it doesn’t work in the real world. In the real world, I have freedoms of speech not only as an American, but also as someone who realizes Daddy is not an omnipotent being who erases anything and everything you disagree with. So fuck you anyway. None of your two-ton tantrums will do shit and you will never have the power to shut me down.
Until now.
Edutainment
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com has always been focused on manly entertainment and education. That’s edutainment, and it serves to better all men. For example, a young man who realizes that women in the workplace are conniving little whores who do nothing at work all day but instant message each other and cause drama, will make more money than his uneducated peers. Studies have shown this.
Every man I convince to not get married saves like 300,000 dollars and God knows how much begging for pussy.
Today, I want to offer this same opportunity for self-improvement to one lucky young woman: Donna Jackson
Dick’s Fattie Outreach Program
Inside every great big blob, there’s a skinny little tramp just dying to get out and have a good time. That’s why fat chicks are so pissed off at “society”. To fat girls, everyone in society but them is thin as a rail and having a great time fucking each other without wanting to puke. I want to give Donna Jackson the chance to live that dream.
The following is an excerpt from a piece of hatemail penned by Donna Jackson.
“I AM NOT FAT. I AM AVERAGE IN WEIGHT AND EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT. YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HOW TO TREAT WOMEN OR EVEN COMMUNICATE IN A NORMAL WAY WITHOUT BEING RUDE. I SHOWED MY BOYFRIEND YOUR SITE TO GET HIS INPUT, AND HE ACTUALLY GIGGLED!”
Of course while Donna was saying such obviously false and hateful things, I heard what she was really saying.
“I’m fat, Dick, and I don’t know how to stop! Please help!”
Donna, I am going to help. I’m going to be your Dr. Phil. And just like Dr. Phil, I am also not having sex with his wife!
Shut Down MenAreBetterThanWomen.com!
In the name of laughs and ending youth obesity, I hereby offer a challenge to Miss Donna Jackson. Sweetheart, if you can lose 20 pounds, I will shut MenAreBetterThanWomen.com down for one month.
You heard that right, readers. If one lonely fat girl who is obsessed with shutting this site down can drop a mere 20 pounds, every feminists’ secondary wet dream will come true. MenAreBetterThanWomen.com will be gone.
Every feminists’ primary wet dream is to have a dick. Either in them or on them; it doesn’t matter to a feminist.
Donna Jackson is a size 18. For those of you who don’t give a fuck about sizes above 4, a size 18 tips the scales at a whopping 230+ pounds. That’s a lot of woman to love! Hell, if Donna’s picture is anything to go by, it’s two women! Donna has to shed a measly 8% of that gargantuan body mass to shut me down. She could take up walking for an hour every day. She could do a few situps while watching television. Fuck, she could switch from Party Size to Fun Size Doritos and have pounds to spare!
But the real question is, will she?
If she does take me up on this challenge, I won’t expect a “thank you”, for introducing Donna to a healthier lifestyle. I won’t expect a “you were right”, for proving that skinny girls are happier. This is something I will give her for free simply because I am a better person.
Manclusion
If Donna accepts this challenge, I will post the rules here, including the weigh-in procedure and any and all deadlines. Donna has freely posted her email address on this site for discussion. If you would like to urge her to participate in the Shut Down MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Challenge, you can find it here: geniusiq161@yahoo.com But keep it classy! This girl has enough problems already. Women don’t get fat because they’re happy about their life.
Youth obesity is one of the greatest threats to our nation’s health. It leads to heart failure, injury, and me being grossed out daily. There is no fucking reason a 21 year old girl should weigh 230 pounds. A 21 year old girl has two good years left. She shouldn’t waste them sitting on a toilet shitting out five meals a day.
Let’s set a good example for young girls out there, Donna. Skinnier is better. No matter how much skinnier that is. Besides, if you spent half as much time exercising as you do calling me dickless and hateful, you’d drop that third chin like it was a baby you didn’t even know you were giving birth to because you were too fucking fat to notice.
Facts
On September 30th, this comment was posted:
This is what I wrote to NOW: “There is a website called menarebetterthanwomen.com that is not some small fringe extremist site. It has gotten coverage on several episodes of Dr. Phil and other media outlets and promotes hate and violence against women. NOW needs to take action. Donna Jackson, geniusiq161@yahoo.com.”
Picture Removal
In an email to me, Donna confessed taking a picture (previously shown above) from a random fat girl on MySpace and claiming it as her own. I verified this and removed the picture. Only God knows what Donna Jackson actually looks like — something I’m sure He isn’t happy about.
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Rofl. Epic
Dude, there’s a fattie at my school. Do you think you could use your outreach program on her? Her whining and bitching about her life (wieght) is pissing me and my bros off. That bitch even had the nerve to cock-block my bro! Please Dick, HELP ME!!!!!!!
What a bunch of asshole these woman you are talking about are your mother, sister and other important women in the lives of men. We give life asshole and that means we can take away life your lucky your mom popped you out. as for cheating whores I been married 15 years and never cheated and was a virgin with my husband so theres your whores.
I don’t believe you should have any respect towards women. I agree with you that we are just a bunch of sluts and whores. I also think that guys are too. We all are to a certain extent. But being fat has to do with how you are raised, which you probably blame on the women. Yet that can also be blamed on men too. I don’t think you should only put a blame on women. Men can be just as bad too.
Keso he implies he does not believe, at least to the extent he says on this site, in what he says, it is taken to an extreme and produced in a satirical way.
For the amusement of men.
It is the readers that are often dumb enough to take him seriously.
I don’t agree with you but I do think that you are really smart. The sad part of it is that no one smart has confronted you and you win by default, never the less, I love the fact that you don’t really care about being wrong or right and that you actually are open for a discussion just that no one manages to keep their head cool enough to say something of worth. Maybe you don’t see it but in a way you are actually working for equal rights in society, by demanding people to sharpen up and think.
have some goddamn respect towards women , some women aren’t so bright and some men aren’t so bright I know you won’t listen to me because I am a women and you assume you are smarter then me . All i have to say for right now is men have weaknesses and men aren’t all that smart for instance let us say that a women went to school for years trying to become an …. doctor and let’s say they finally graduated university and became a very good doctor but let’s say the female doctor was preforming a surgery and after the patient dies that is something that can always happen it is not because the women is stupid and useless it could be because it can be extremely risky , but male doctors fail at these things all the time some more then other male doctors same with female doctors there are even female doctors that are better then male doctors. This is hard to explain to someone as stubborn and as sick as you but maybe you will catch my drift , anyway males and females should be treated equally , by the way you are a man whore don’t try to cover it up by calling it chauvinism like all your type does because that is bullshit now go jump in front of a train fucking dick licking little fucker
yea ..that is gay ….. I’m pretty sure i know why he is so disrespectful to women …. it could be because he is gay and gay men aren’t supposed to “like” women .
Dude, are you stupid or something?
You must have an inferiority complex…
Sorry, man, but you are just uneducated.
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You are kinda just proving his point asshat lol
Actually I respect this site as a religion about as much as i do the Jedi religion.
I respect it as a religion about as much as Zeus too, as it is not even a religion it is a mythology.
I respect the articles as a satire, and I respect the posters as anti “feminism”
Actually, we marinate the kittens in Emeril’s Spicy Essence Sauce for three days in a refrigerator before grilling them — strangely, the taste is not much different than an order of General Tsao’s from any reputable local Chinese restaurant.
But that is neither here nor there. Whilst you post here, remember that you are guest, and liken it being allowed into a temple of worship from another faith — afford the Disciples of Masterson the same respect you would extend to Zoroastrians, worshipers of Zeus, or those who follow the Jedi Religion.
And if you opened your mind instead of remaining ignorant and hateful, you might come to appreciate the Precepts and Teachings of Lord Masterson, for he speaks Truth.
Respectfully,
Cenuij Mu
I squished this beetle today. It was pregnant and all of its eggs came pissing out of its stomach. lol it made me think of you.
Actually i had never addressed “Lord Masterson” at all.
3,818 is less than half of what id have expected.
I hope you at least eat the kittens, otherwise you’re just being wasteful.
“Cenuij Mu????… I dont think so.”
Indeed. Sharrow is a bitch and an incompetent “leader,” naturally, because she is a woman.
You shall adopt the proper tone when referencing Lord Masterson.
Every time a woman refers to Lord Masterson in anything less than a completely reverential tone, the Fellowship of Masterson sacrifices a kitten to atone for the blasphemy.
Thus far, 3,818 kittens have met a grisly death because of hateful, spiteful and angry women like you. How do you feel with all that innocent kitten blood on your hands, you hateful woman?
Repent, and recognize the Precepts and Teachings of Lord Masterson as the Undeniable Truths they are.
Respectfully,
Herald Cenuij Mu
Herald I have never seen a person praise someone else’s dick that much while still maintaining an ego that big, thank you for that experience.
Cenuij Mu????… I dont think so.
Behold the precepts and wisdom uttered forth by His Lordship Dick Masterson, Imperator of All That Is Manly, Protector of the Masculine Arts, Prime Despiser of Two Ton Twats, Champion of the Chauvinistic Cause, Vanquisher of Feminazis Cuntesses, and Disseminator of Truth and Manliness in an Unmanly World.
It is through the teachings of Lord Dick that we come to understand the worthlessness and sedentary ways of the Great Cows of our society, so that we may enjoy the fruits of those who exercise, employing them as receptacles of our manly nectar, while ridiculing the overweight female masses as unworthy of our sexual attentions.
Hark, Lord Dick teaches us chauvinism attracts fit fellatrixes like bees to honey, and that disrespect and abhorrence are the vessels by which many man travels to the vaginal delights. Delights that, naturally, cease as matters of importance once the man has been satisfied, for to elect to stay in the company of a woman after orgasm is unthinkable.
Heed the Mantastic Advice on these pages, so that you may Manufacture a Manificent respect for the Chauvinistic Arts, and become the Mantithesis of all that is womanly.
Respectfully,
Herald Cenuij Mu
Mouthpiece, the Fellowship of Masterson
250 Paper Street, Masterson, Texas 79058