How Do I Deal With a Vegetarian?
The following question was sent to me by diamatik. If you would like to ask me a question, submit it via the Contact Dick page or post it in the forums.
“My girlfriend is a Vegan. What the fuck do I do when I want to eat, make her sit there? Won’t my em-man-imotions make me feel guilty?”
Yes. Make her sit there. Women lead long and un-lustrious lives spent primarily in various states of sitting there. True, they spend a lot of time on their backs during childbirth and activites which are inevitably childbirth related, but the true nature of womankind is to sit down and shut the fuck up.
Women are like Jesus, except instead of twelve stations of the cross, they have twelve positions for sitting there. Except because they’re women and lazy there are actually only three different positions and also, unlike Jesus, women don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.
First of all, yes, your man-emotions will tell you to give half a shit about the welfare of your girlfriend.
“Is she hungry? Would she feel bad watching me eat meat? Would she feel bad if I accidentally dropped a fork off the table and requested another one and then first fork would feel neglected in some way? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever thought.”
Using your emotions when it comes to women is like using a chainsaw to cut a loaf of soggy bread. It’s overkill. Women don’t know the definition of empathy. They can appreciate it as much as they can appreciate a Ferrari or a pistol — or how awesome it would be to cut a loaf of bread with a chainsaw. It’s not because they don’t know very much either; it’s because empathy at its core cannot be understood by the female invertebrate slug brain. You can sit there and explain it to her until her big fat female friends come over and you’ll never make a dent.
Deal with women vegetarians the same way you deal with woman anything-ians.
Woman “lesbians” for example. Just hit on them non-stop. They love that kind of treatment. Actually, that’s the most reason women become “lesbians” temporarily; they haven’t gotten enough male attention in their lives.
If you’re dealing with a woman vegetarian, make her eat meat. They all want to. Obviously, “make” is a word you can define at your own man-discretion. Entice, coerce, bribe; they’re all the same fucking word. It’s your will and as a man your will is your prerogative.
The suffixes of “ians” and “isms” and “ists” are reserved for men. Just like the prefixes of Mr, Sir, and Dr. Women have no place with any of them around their piddly little names. It’s like that hilarious internet picture of the donkey attempting to haul about 2 tonnes of packing shit only to have itself lifted about ten feet in the air. Women are exactly like that with their meaningless -isms and -ians. They’re exactly like that except they’re not hilarious at all. They’re just a pain in the ass.
Related Articles:
Pages: [6] 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All
Come to my site.
http://www.voy.com/219711/
Women are the scum of the earth and they know it. Especially the filthbags that comment at my site.
No woman are vegans. They all love eating man meat.
Dude your my hero , your my big brother I never had . Thank God that there are man to guide young man !
Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants
True, they spend a lot of time on their backs during childbirth and activites which are inevitably childbirth related, but the true nature of womankind is to sit down and shut the fuck up.
OHHH, if only they would. Nature truely messed up giving females vocal cords.
vegan:: You evolve back to having a chimpanzee size brain if you want to, homosapiens evolved the brain we have due to the fact we eat meat. Go hug a tree and look pale.
hate speech.
thanks dick women are like jesus
ha ha: you forgot this bit; unlike Jesus, women don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.
To some of us jesus was just a man too, if he even existed.
Prejudiced imbeciles….
Yes, veggies are prejudiced against meat. Burn em at the stake!!!
I got some advice for the guy with a vegan girlfriend: dump her, yesterday. These bitches are nothing but trouble. Anybody that would be a vegan is a major league head-case. Who needs that shit? It’s not your job to figure out why mommy liked her big sister better than her, and figuring it out wouldn’t change her anyway. She’d go find something else to be fucked-up about.
You can’t shitcan her fast enough. Who the fuck would date a chick that would throw a screaming fit if you got her within 100 feet of a steakhouse? Don’t stay at the flogging post if you’re not tied to it.
Hannibal, it has been scientifically proven that plants feel pain. Not only can a plant feel pain, it can actually release a chemical, related to menthol, that tells OTHER plants that it is in pain. Plants don’t need a central nervous system to feel pain either, which means that they can feel pain in a leaf that has been removed from the stalk, the leaf ITSELF feels pain and the plant feels pain from the leaf.
Plants are still alive when you eat them, as they can survive for weeks after being uprooted.So while you may feel proud that nothing had to die for your meal, I imagine the lettuce that is being ground between your teeth would disagree. In fact, I think if we listen very closely, the lettuce would most likely be saying “OH GOD, NO! NO! MY GOD! THE PAIN! SAVE ME, JESUS!”
Just eat meat, at least the cow is already dead when you put it in your mouth.
someone gives a little too much credit to m night shawlaman
Bob is da man
Ha ha.
So as a man who is also a vegetarian, what does that say? I’m healthy and glad that nothing had to die in order for me to eat. I don’t force my views on others.. it’s just my own personal choice. Does anyone have a beef with that?
Carefull, you will start getting comments about screaming carrots.
A horse could’ve died to plow a field for you to get those carrots. And all the bugs that had to be slain by the pesticides used to protect the farmers crops? Aphids are animals too.
Until you can take in raw minerals and process them efficiently for nourishment, something will have to die for you survive. Just because it isn’t cute or ridable doesn’t mean you haven’t been responsible for killing something.
Heck, eating plants reduces the amount of plants available for herbivores to eat and the do not even have the option of eating meat. Not to mention the tens of thousands of animals that die to combines indiscriminately harvesting wheat and bonemeal.
People typically have a beef with vegetarians because their reasons are illogical, and they typically lord their superior consciences over others. There are easier ways to feel like your better than someone than being a hypocrite and reducing your lifespan.
Vegetarians have their own reasons not to eat meat. Why do you have the need to validate your manliness by forcing us to eat things we don’t want to? Are you really that insecure that you can’t even let your girlfriend eat (or not eat)? By the way, if you feel so crappy around her, dump her. If you’re really as you great you think you are, you’ll get another. Probably not.
You’re a dumb cunt. Your only chance at survival is to marry a guy with money or suck your boss’s dick. Vegetarians are fucked-up people who shouldn’t be served in restaurants. Go eat your tofu and shut the fuck up.
That girl: Yup because as fed up stated, they’re a sandwich short of a picnic.
If you eat meat, you better make sure you killed it with your own hands. Otherwise you’re just another Pussy.
What about people who consume the raw meat of human females, DickFan? What should they do?
Is this a trick question?
No, but I am checking to see how consistent you are in the application of your own personal principles.
Well? I don’t have all day, you frigid cunt.
How would you rate your comprehension of English language?
Well, my comprehension of the English language is considerably superior to yours, given the fact that most women are sub-human primate animals who only have the capacity to imitate what they see. Besides, what does that have to do with anything? Just answer the question, you non-orgasmic cunt.
Are you a woman? (That is not a trick question.)
What kind of a moronic question is that, CuntFan? Most women are intellectually inferior to men.
Raw? Really? You really should cook that shit, what with us being so diseased, and all. And don’t forget the fava beans…
“Sushi”:
Piss off, frigidaire. Didn’t I tell you in no uncertain terms to vacate the site and remove my name from your blog?
Vamos, cunt.
Hurry up and answer the question, TwatFan, you frigid cunt. I don’t have all day for your dillydallying.
I’m a woman, I can’t help you. I took your superior man-wit into consideration and thought I made it pretty gosh-darn obvious, I even asked you about English comprehension. The next thing would be to ask the other male posters here for help, and if they don’t giddit either, ask Mr. Masterson. Moving right along…
BlahBlahBlah.
Make Me.
Get off the site, sushi, you obnoxious cunt.
Piss off, TwatFan.
Oh look, Cap’n Scotty’s repeating himself. Again. And again and again and again.
Your stupidity IS real though. No doubt about that.
love isn’t real, just like Jesus.
It’s better to believe that ‘love’ will solve all our problems. I guess that’s not silly.
just like Dick Masterson, Santa and the Easter Bunny, believing in Jesus is just plain silly.
Okay men, I have a suggestion.
Shut the fuck up about other people’s opinions.
I have better things to do than read people bitching because someone spoke there mind. Just grow-up man-up and accept people beleive other things than you.
BigFoot in BigMouth?
What are you fucking retarded? dont be offended when you sit down waiving your flag of I ate a salad last week and im saving the planet bullshit! saying shit like that meat you just spent your hard earned man cash on is a guilt burger and you need to eat every bite of it while i watch from over my fruit smoothy with lima beans!
Yiou make me sick i can tell your a woman get the fuck off the site! and ill tell you how i feel about sex changes, god tried to give man a womans brain and it couldnt handle the overwheliming urges of self worth and dignity! and therefore with modern medicine and previlance of man logic, we cut the cock, threw on some tits and SHE was good as new. ready to suck dick and fuck her way to the bottom of the food chain.
Again i must reitterate GET THE FUCK OFF THE WEBSITE!!!
Vegetarians taste better…