How Do I Deal With a Vegetarian?
The following question was sent to me by diamatik. If you would like to ask me a question, submit it via the Contact Dick page or post it in the forums.
“My girlfriend is a Vegan. What the fuck do I do when I want to eat, make her sit there? Won’t my em-man-imotions make me feel guilty?”
Yes. Make her sit there. Women lead long and un-lustrious lives spent primarily in various states of sitting there. True, they spend a lot of time on their backs during childbirth and activites which are inevitably childbirth related, but the true nature of womankind is to sit down and shut the fuck up.
Women are like Jesus, except instead of twelve stations of the cross, they have twelve positions for sitting there. Except because they’re women and lazy there are actually only three different positions and also, unlike Jesus, women don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.
First of all, yes, your man-emotions will tell you to give half a shit about the welfare of your girlfriend.
“Is she hungry? Would she feel bad watching me eat meat? Would she feel bad if I accidentally dropped a fork off the table and requested another one and then first fork would feel neglected in some way? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever thought.”
Using your emotions when it comes to women is like using a chainsaw to cut a loaf of soggy bread. It’s overkill. Women don’t know the definition of empathy. They can appreciate it as much as they can appreciate a Ferrari or a pistol — or how awesome it would be to cut a loaf of bread with a chainsaw. It’s not because they don’t know very much either; it’s because empathy at its core cannot be understood by the female invertebrate slug brain. You can sit there and explain it to her until her big fat female friends come over and you’ll never make a dent.
Deal with women vegetarians the same way you deal with woman anything-ians.
Woman “lesbians” for example. Just hit on them non-stop. They love that kind of treatment. Actually, that’s the most reason women become “lesbians” temporarily; they haven’t gotten enough male attention in their lives.
If you’re dealing with a woman vegetarian, make her eat meat. They all want to. Obviously, “make” is a word you can define at your own man-discretion. Entice, coerce, bribe; they’re all the same fucking word. It’s your will and as a man your will is your prerogative.
The suffixes of “ians” and “isms” and “ists” are reserved for men. Just like the prefixes of Mr, Sir, and Dr. Women have no place with any of them around their piddly little names. It’s like that hilarious internet picture of the donkey attempting to haul about 2 tonnes of packing shit only to have itself lifted about ten feet in the air. Women are exactly like that with their meaningless -isms and -ians. They’re exactly like that except they’re not hilarious at all. They’re just a pain in the ass.
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If you want me to, I can clog your mouth with my meat. Perhaps that should make you think a lot better, especially since science says that females’ brains actually grow when the woman smells male pheromones.
hey dick, of course you didn’t get the post. too much meat cloggin your brain. good word though, cogent.
ha.
How do you deal with a vegan? Too simple…
YOU DON’T.
TOTALLY AGREE!
Dude, I don’t agree with everything I read here, and I don’t expect to, but we’re all guys here (or should be, anyway) and give each other the respect we deserve as men.
There are billions of other web pages you could be looking at besides this site, but you take offense and want everyone else to change to suit you. Not gonna happen, my friend. I suggest you have a quarter-pounder with cheese, go to your happy place and think about boobs. If everyone did that, the world would be a much happier place.
How do you deal with a vegan? Too simple…
YOU DON’T.
I want a DEAD ANIMAL on my plate…brothers, you get a salad-eater who proclaims, “I don’t eat meat”…cancel the date (make a good lie-women do it ALL the damn time) and go to the nearest strip club! Or call the backup piece from the bench!
I would like to believe you, but I can’t because of your own pathetic display of insults, accusations, misconceptions and stupidity.
No, actually my name’s Brendon Jared Saunders and my friends call me BJ. And no, i’m not obssessed with sex, i just think you should all grow up.
Hahaha
Lol
pegged!
Of course she is. Just look at the name she chose to post as. She is nothing but a semen-hungry cum-guzzling little whore from down-under who loves lick men’s down-unders.
Obsessed with sex. Proven again.
Hey dick, grow a dick
You make excellent and valid points (Man-Law), studies are constantly in a state of flux on what is considered “Good” and “Bad”, and even “In-Between”. Coffee used to be awful, now it is ok. Lard is awful, vegetable oil was awesome, now it is awful like lard because of saturated fats. There are good carbs and bad carbs, but the VA says “Bullshit, no such thing”.
Since we cannot cure the common cold, why is that we can DEFINITIVELY say this or even that when everything is constantly changing in the science of health? The studies themselves prove each OTHER wrong more than they prove anything at all right. (Refer to Oleo, the new and awesome way to make potato chips)
We can GENERALLY say Flouride is a plus. We do know it helps with dental health. However, I am still unconvinced, as I would like to see studies done on JUST that issue (flouride vs. non-flouride) and NOT flouride PLUS everything acidic you eat and drink vs. non-flouride in a country that has awful water to begin with, and generally COMPLETELY different diets of only fish-heads and rice. (NOT AN INSULT, you get the point)
Being a man, you understand my point.
Since the fight is still going on over genetically enhanced everything, and considering so many things are NOW added to food products that literally it would be a scientific nightmare to try studies that are all encompassing, consider the amazing Diabetic and Obese studies and statistics that are being done. Now take that data of the rate of growth for both, and apply it to what you consider a sub-standard diet 120 years ago, and compare which is better- A somewhat longer life due to dieting due to processed food due to………….VS Get up, go to work, eat anything that is cooked.
Truly they did not care what they ate, but diabetic rates were low, and I have never seen conclusive rates that heart attacks or anything else INCLUDING cancer was worse at that time. Secondly, the “longer life” theory in my opinion is just that, THEORY. I say that because I have neighbors born DURING the FIRST WORLD WAR who ate and do eat awful diets and smoke, and yet they outlive their doctors.
Secondly, consider the population density and overall environmental factors of BOTH time periods. There are large changes in both. How can you say MORE people died 120 years ago from heart attacks when records and science were not kept as strictly versus records being kept NOW, but with QUADRUPLE the population? Are the death rates the same? Of course not, less people then, more now, so more people die NOW than then right? Why? Where is the data? Where are the studies?
No matter what, modern day science has yet to PROVE jack or shit. Studies are conclusive that prove other studies wrong that prove inconclusive. Some studies are never done when you think they should be on many things, and other studies are done on studies that make no sense at all. I have seen studies on caffeine that says it rots my body, but 10 years later say it extends my life. WTF? And these are the same guys sending men to the moon……………..and telling me they are not wrong, except for that one time they THOUGHT they were wrong, but that was a statistical fluke…………and by the way, don’t eat (fill in the blank this week)
But, by Man-Law, I grant that you may very well be right…………
All I was saying, boiled down, was that if you include all the stuff today that we ingest, we are chemical farms with legs, and no studies can even remotely explain how the hell we survive, not less how the hell we die and why/what caused it (cancer I mean, just an example).
And statistics aside, why do I have 3 neighbors in their 90’s who will, in all probability, outlive ME when they drank like fishes, smoked 3 packs a day and ate meat by the freaking POUND that was FRIED IN LARD for at LEAST 50 years? Genetics is one GUESS I have. But, we don’t understand genetics yet do we?
Science does extend the lifespan THEY have, but does that at all explain THEIR parents living to their 90’s? Not at all, and after some research, I am betting one would find that the overall age limit was the same for REAL WORLD life expectancy, and NOT statistical averages which are flawed in SOME cases.
My proof is that if ANYONE has to say, “I GUESS it is ok” then that is the point. No one knows, but everybody thinks they know (including me). I have never seen a scientist of any kind say, “I THINK I know”, they always say, “I KNOW why/what”.
And, they end up being wrong more often than not.
If nothing else, it makes you wonder, then your forget and go eat a cheeseburger and live to 120 drooling on yourself.
THANK YOU SCIENCE! I AM STILL CONFUSED!
While I agree with most of what you said here. You should google flouride and read about it sometime. Its posion.
Stupid Gorilla Man, I disagree with some of the things you are saying. I don’t think you would live longer if you ate like the “old-timers”. Although the dramatic increase in longevity in recent years can be primarily attributed to modern medicine, there is no denying that modern diets are more balanced than those of ancient times.
A plethora of fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. are now available to consumers and as a result we are eating far more healthily.
The water you specifically water your plants with may very well contain more than just H2O (I have well water which I run through an RO/DI system so my water does not contain more than H2O). There are chlorines and chloramines in city water to kill bacteria and viruses, however they aren’t absorbed and metabolised by plants so regardless of what negative effects they have on the plants, I would argue that they do not have negative effects on the people eating the plants; pesticides are another issue though.
You can’t generalize things by labeling everything thats genetically modified or enhanced by the use of chemicals as bad. The flouride in water is in general a plus. It increases the strength of the enamel on your teeth.
Saying that the soil has 200 years of pollutants in it isn’t really a point of concern for the people eating the plants growing in the formentioned soil. Many things that you or I may consider a pollutant are necessary for the growth of plants. Ammonium/Ammonia ions that would be potentially dangerous to humans are denitrifried in soil and broken down into NO3- which is used by the plants.
You have some great points however, the modern diet is far superior to its ancient counterpart.
PS~ Meat is almost necessary to one’s diet. Without it there are a multitude of health concerns including but not limited to: Calcium, Iron, Vitamin B12 and D, and protein deficiency. These can lead to some nasty problems like enemia and breathing disorders. Just do a google search on it, the advantages of having some meat in your diet far outweigh the disadvantages.
AH! You are right, 100%! Meat will make you croak out.
FACT: L.A. is funky nasty and has polluted air, just like Houston, Atlanta and almost ALL major metropolitan areas.
FACT: There is not telling what is truly in your water.
FACT: Our meat now is handled and processed as badly as females now. Cows are fed insanely protein rich diets, and of course, other cows. Chickens are the same, as well as pigs. They are fed steroids (fact) along with having next to no immune system in order to speed growth up to 125% (fact). Genetic tampering and gengeneering is considered commonplace, ESPECIALLY so in the vegetable/fruit world. (Fact, refer to agriculture giant Kerr Mcgee, who does corn enhancements)
None of it is natural at all, and only NOW is science beginning to understand the true effects happening to tampering with food of ANY kind.
FACT: If you breath, drink water, or eat anything, you will probably die from it. If you ate like the old-timers with none of this nasty shit in your food, water and air you would last LONGER and be healthier.
FACT: You will die anyway. No matter what, you will die. Men understand this.
Veg-heads are as bad off as we are. Please refer to any pesticide in existence, since all go through testing, there is NEVER long term testing for side effects until AFTER people die from cancer that no one has ever heard of.
You can argue Veg-Heads can run a garden of their own. Very true, but not any more “clean” than my meat.
Fact: Vegetables and fruits are constantly gengeneered. This includes their offspring, which happen to be seeds. Modern science does not address long term effects.
Fact: The fertilizer you use is reclaimed cow (and other) shit. Pure shit. Happens to be, that same shit came from a genetically modified cow who was fed not only other genetically modified cows, but also genetically modified feed and chemically modified everything else including steroids.
Fact: The water you water your plants with DOES contain the basic H2O, but ALSO contains various chemicals to fight viral and bacterial agents. MORE so if you live in a large city. They include but are not limited to: Flouride which is instant death in large doses.
Fact: The soil you are growing your vegetables in has had OVER 200 years of pollutants in it, including Acid Rain, and massive amounts of chemicals from everything you can think of.
Meat or Veg, we all gotta croak out.
The only things wrong with meat are making your croak before your time of a heart disease or stroke because of circulatory congestion (if you’ve no grasp of the concept of moderation or just plain cholesterol addict) and gout but mainly, it’s too freaking expensive!
I meant to say Women are the only ones fooled. Women are so gullible.
Feminist are just plain delusional. They are the only ones stupid enough to be fooled.