How Is a “Lesbian” Like A Walrus?
They’re both fat as shit.
I was just talking to a lady on the subject of lesbians and how their bodies look strange and Grimace-like, when I received a scientific study from a reader about the very same topic.
Scientifically speaking, men are better than women at being gay; and that means staying in a shape that doesn’t resemble a discarded peanut.
Also, do you know any famous gay women? I don’t think there are any. Martina Navratilova wasn’t famous for being gay. She was famous for looking like a donkey kicked her in the face.
Women love any kind of talk that resembles bigotry or prejudice. It gets their sex-kicker all warmed up before the big game. All lesbians look like Grimace, Canadians stink, black people are better athletes than Chinese people; that sort of nonsense winds them up like a wino on a merry-go-round. Use it carefully as you just might snag yourself a harem.
Men are visual creatures. That’s one explanation for why gay men don’t look like fat lumps of Shitty Putty in hockey jerseys and 80’s hairstyles. Another explanation is that men have class. What do you suppose the disparity is between straight women who own dildos and gay men who do? It’s probably huge. Dildos are pink and overpriced. They’re obviously made for women. That disparity is called class.
And women are obsessed with sex.
“Lesbians” are 2.5 times more likely than heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, says science. Science doesn’t give a shit about why, but that’s okay because I already know.
Women have two things in their lives: sex and chocolate. “Lesbians” can’t have sex, so that leaves only the chocolate. Imagine if you were a Ken doll and after five years of cockteasing, you really wanted to stick it to Barbie in the way that only a man can. That’s manly even for dolls. Well you couldn’t because you don’t have a dick. If you were a Ken doll, you would head over to the Dream Pub and drown your dickless sorrows. If you were a lesbian, however, you’d drown yourself in a pool of chocolate and carbs.
A healthy dietary supplement of dick is God’s secret to weightloss. I’ve told countless women that and until now I never knew how right I was.
That happens to me all the time.
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May 1st, 2007 at 7:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb0abc12ab24f
I know one gay man who looks like Grimace but never met one lesbian who didn’t. My god, sometimes you make so much sense it scares me.
May 1st, 2007 at 7:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
It scares me too, jxbx.
-Dick
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 164ebfb80cfc5
Catch 22 for fat women there. Fat chicks will remain fat because nobody wants to fuck fat chicks. Perhaps that is why they turn to lesbianism and feminism.
Chicken and egg scenario, perhaps?
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
I was a theatre major in college, so I knew many people of many orientations.
I must admit, the gay males were consistently the most physically fit out of anyone.
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 139b502a327ba
How many orientatons are there?
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:53 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Gay, lesbian, bisexual and to lesser extents necrophiliacs and beastiality maniacs.
Might be more but my min is already damaged.
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb0abc12ab24f
As many as your conscience requires.
May 4th, 2007 at 5:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: aa599898a161c
Gertrude Stein
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3a3eeeabc4a42
I agree, on average but what about Ellen DeGeners. Shes not fat, But my point is countered by Rosie O’Donnell.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: e7f805b90cc03
wow. you “men” are so fucking stupid, and you obviously do not pay any attention to the media.
July 4th, 2007 at 1:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
How do you reconcile those two statements?
July 4th, 2007 at 5:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
She doesn’t have to. Women are, by nature, self-contradictory. Their statements seldom make sense, and that is why we here at mabtw.com say: “You can’t spell incoherence without her.
July 11th, 2007 at 2:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2c8448dad3d5f
Genius!
July 14th, 2007 at 8:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac3ab9d171341
I hate myself for enjoying this site… Typical women annoy some of us also. As for fat dumpy butt lesbians, that was an observatition I made several years ago and now feel vindicated.
July 31st, 2007 at 11:32 am - IP Man-Hash: ba383bbb26391
i think that all of you so called “men” are just jealous the we as lesbians don’t want to fuck you! we get along just fine without a dick in our lives. and it sounds to me like a lot of you are dicks. yes i am a lesbian…no i am not fat, and neither are the mass majority of other lesbians. and if there ARE fat lesbians, then i’m sure there’s just as many fat and ugly straight men, too. probably on this site, since you so obviously can’t get any women that you have to come here to your self induldged pitty party occompanied by other retarded bastards. and to the women who find this amusing……you’re a disgrace!
July 31st, 2007 at 11:43 am - IP Man-Hash: f618d3a941f24
Ahhh Heather you’re just jealous that you’re not a man and can’t have real sex like us men. And since you are manly looking that makes us less likely to want to bang you and that is why you turn to eating haddock. We men here can get women but who wants to keep them?
Most women suck as people.
July 31st, 2007 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: bf1c132f6631e
Relieved is the word you must be looking for.
And yet you come here and spew hate?
Where?
The only way for you to know that is either massive image whoring, or getting around a lot.
And I am sure that the sky is green.
Because that is the only possible reason someone would write something bad about women.
Ah, yes. Shame on you, women. How could you possibly not do as the lesbian wants? Shame on you, I say!
Looks like the thread on Technodyke is having an effect.