I’m Keeping My What With You?

Has anyone ever put some serious man thought into the great trifuckta that is women and money.

They can’t make money.
They can’t keep money.
They can’t spend money.

So why the fuck do women work in banks anyway? Women don’t work as bouncers or as Secret Service agents.

I’ve decided to throw my mighty man brain at the issue.

Women bank tellers don’t know the first thing about money because they don’t know the first thing about expediency or taking things seriously. This is my fucking money we’re talking about. However I did make it, I worked my ass off because I’m a man and that’s what we do. I don’t want any smiles or pleasantries while I’m talking about my fucking money. I don’t want pens to be fumbled for. I don’t want to be flirted with. That’s actually the last thing I want when I’ve got my hand or my mind on my money — and my money on my mind.

Also, you can shove your promotional Spongebob checks up your ass.

Aside from tellers, women in the banking industry are non-existent. That’s why I always tell kids to be bankers. Little boys will grow into the vacation lifestyle of a permanent men’s club, and little girls aren’t listening to a fucking word I’m saying.

So why are women absent from the banking industry? Is it because no insurance company in the world could cover something so reckless? No. The real reason is because women can’t count and are afraid of money.

That right. They’re terrified of it.

That’s why women don’t make any money. They’re scared of it. That’s also why they spend it as quickly as fucking possible and why women’s purses are such a mess all the time. They like to stuff all their money in there like a Christmas turkey so that if they don’t see it, they can pretend it isn’t there — at least until they get to the store.

Money turns women on like Spanish Fly for the same reason. It’s like having sex in a restroom or someone else’s car. It’s exciting and thrilling because there’s an element of apprehension. Women are always ten times more turned on knowing that some money might be right around the corner, waiting to jump out and give them money rabies or whatever stupid thing women are afraid of.

And that thing is the following: If women had any money, then they wouldn’t be dependant on men. That’s what scares them. Women crave their place more than anything. If you threaten to take it away from them with a huge wad of cash, you’re essentially making them watch all the Freddy and Jason movies in series and at the same time and also giving them a mirror that reflects what they’ll look like fifteen years in the future.

Clock’s ticking, ladies.

And fuck, I just realized there really are no women in the Secret Service.

Related Articles:

101 Responses to “I’m Keeping My What With You?”

Pages: « 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 » Show All

  1. Charles Chy Says:

    Yo Dick, did you get my e-mail. You haven’t responded and it’s been a few days.

  2. Dick Masterson Says:

    I got it.

    It’s the weekend, man.

    -Dick

  3. QueenMalice Says:

    Women don’t know shit about money? Not true. In my family, I handle the finances because my husband is the one that doesn’t know shit about money. He’s the one that spends it on stupid shit, the one that overdraws the account, the one that can’t handle it responsibly, which is why I took over. Another thing, I bring more money in than he does. Men and women who work do it equally hard. Gender has nothing to do with working hard or being a lowlife piece of shit. I know more men who waste their lives, waste their time, and do not a goddamn thing. I know more 30 year old men that live at home with mama. I have been on my own since I was 18, paying my own rent, my own bills, my own expenses, and whenever my husband was out of work, I also took care of his bills and expenses. In fact, I was helping him out with his shit before we were even married, because I love him. I love him even more after checking this site out, because he thinks this site is bullshit too. Even he thinks that you had to have gotten burned to build this site, and even he thinks you are gay. That’s the only logical explanation to complain so much about women, seriously, if you hate women so much, stop dating them and date men instead.

  4. son of the suns Says:

    Your husband thinks we’re gay yet he lets his wife run his life?

    He may not be gay… but he is a fucking idiot.

  5. QueenMalice Says:

    son of the suns said:

    Your husband thinks we’re gay yet he lets his wife run his life?

    He may not be gay… but he is a fucking idiot.

    I don’t run his life. I am in charge of the finances because he doesn’t know how to prioritize. We have bills and kids, and important shit to take care of. He is impulsive with money, and the reason he let me be in charge of the finances is because his impusivity put us in the poor house. He impulsively spent money on gambling, video games, and clothes instead of putting food in the house and paying bills. He caused our electricity and gas to be shut off when our first child was a newborn, just because he spent money on bullshit instead of prioritizing. We had to borrow money from his parents to pay the bills, and my parents to pay the utilities and put food in the cupboards. He also called in sick so many times he lost his job and I had to support the family on my income, by myself. Since then I am in charge of finances, and guess what? Our bills are paid, we have food, my kids have everything they need, and we had enough to buy a house and two cars. So then, who’s smarter again?? The money is the only thing in my husband’s life I control. Everything else is controlled evenly.That is, aside the fact that I still do most of the cooking, cleaning, child rearing, caretaking, and I also work and go to school. So who’s a parasite?

  6. wolfe Says:

    Gentlemen, QueenMalice says it all in a single word:

    Since then I am in charge of finances, and guess what? Our bills are paid, we have food, my kids have everything they need

    My.
    My kids have everything they need.
    My.
    Narcissistic much? Hope those kids enjoy the way you cut their dad out of their lives.

    -wolfe

  7. QueenMalice Says:

    wolfe said:

    Gentlemen, QueenMalice says it all in a single word:

    Since then I am in charge of finances, and guess what? Our bills are paid, we have food, my kids have everything they need

    My.
    My kids have everything they need.
    My.
    Narcissistic much? Hope those kids enjoy the way you cut their dad out of their lives.

    -wolfe
    What?? How am I cutting him out of their lives? HE is every bit involved with them as I am. I know they are not just my kids, they are his too, but I take care of them most of the time. You’re right about one thing though, I should have said OUR kids. That’s the first time any male on this site has been right about anything.

  8. One Voice Says:

    What?? How am I cutting him out of their lives? HE is every bit involved with them as I am. I know they are not just my kids, they are his too, but I take care of them most of the time. You’re right about one thing though, I should have said OUR kids. That’s the first time any male on this site has been right about anything.

    now proove how good you are and fuck off this site.

  9. QueenMalice Says:

    See, the great thing about me being me, is I don’t have to answer to you, nor do I have to listen to you. I don’t care if the site or anyone else says I can’t be here, I have just as much a right as anyone else to be here. So, instead of telling me to fuck off the site, how ’bout you come out of the closet and get it over with. I sure feel sorry for your mom, or any woman, that has to put up with you. You’re so self-righteous, you know that? Well you will see how wrong you are when someday you end up with some illness or just old age and you are alone. Someday, whatever woman puts up with you now will come to grips with what a piece of crap you are, and she will leave. She will get tired of you, and so will any other woman you end up with, and you will be alone. Let’s see how self-righteous you are when you are dying… alone.

  10. Eve Says:

    Queenmalice, I don’t think these men are gay but I do agree they have been disappointed, hurt and disillusioned by women, either by their mothers or their girlfriends/wives. They have obviously been unlucky or let’s hope that is the reason because if it isn’t and if there are actually men on this site who have had decent mothers and relationships with non-superficial women, then I pity these men. Why such men would be on this site, I cannot even begin to guess. Unless of course, they get their kicks out of arguing with women, which of course would be incredibly childish.

  11. Dick Masterson Says:

    QueenMalice said:

    I don’t have to answer to you, nor do I have to listen to you.

    A women will never be president.

    -Dick

  12. diamatik Says:

    I can’t wait to hear BMU’s take on QM’s current situation. It is a bit obvious to me that the woman married a total jackass (or alpha-male) who was probably the most popular guy in school. I’m sure she had rejected all the decent guys who showed an interest in her (decent guys who are smarter, and who now have better jobs, better salaries, and can manage their incomes better).

    QueenMalice said:
    I love him even more after checking this site out, because he thinks this site is bullshit too. Even he thinks that you had to have gotten burned to build this site, and even he thinks you are gay.

    The opinion of a loser who can’t handle his own shit and leaves his wife to run the finances and manage his household means nothing to me. Even less are the ramblings of the cunt stupid enough to wed him.

  13. wolfe Says:

    QueenMalice said:
    I don’t care if the site or anyone else says I can’t be here, I have just as much a right as anyone else to be here.

    You’re operating under a fairly standard misconception here. This site is not a public square. It is owned by the proprietor, Dick Masterson. We are all here at his sufferance. Thus, you have exactly as much right to be here as he decides you have. Don’t like it? Start your own site.

    As for the rest of your statement leaving aside the truth, it is either gratuitously insulting (if false), or terribly cruel (if true). Which do you think you are? Gratuitously insulting or terribly cruel?

    Eve said:
    Queenmalice, I don’t think these men are gay

    Give the lady (if you’d prefer me to call you ‘woman’, I shall; I do not mean ‘lady’ in a derogatory or condescending fashion) a prize!

    but I do agree they have been disappointed, hurt and disillusioned by women, either by their mothers or their girlfriends/wives.

    The first part of your sentence is bang-on. The second is largely false. Yes, the men here have been disappointed by women. No, in at least half the cases this is not personal, though I can only speak directly for myself.

    My last girlfriend was an extremely nice person. She tried very hard to be kind. Unfortunately, she had a series of personality problems that were the envy of major analysts everywhere, but these were hardly her fault. She was a good and gentle person. A better person than I in a number of ways.

    I believe Dick is on record as stating that his mother was a saint.

    They have obviously been unlucky or let’s hope that is the reason because if it isn’t and if there are actually men on this site who have had decent mothers and relationships with non-superficial women, then I pity these men.

    With respect, perhaps you should take a long hard look at yourself and the society in which you live.

    Why such men would be on this site, I cannot even begin to guess. Unless of course, they get their kicks out of arguing with women, which of course would be incredibly childish.

    It would indeed. And again, with respect, I can think of few things more useless than arguing with anyone. Debate? Perhaps. Discussion? Certainly.

    Regards,
    -wolfe

  14. Necroswordsman Says:

    QueenMalice said:

    You’re so self-righteous, you know that?

    Right right, we’re self-righteous. Right. Who is coming onto this site where they are not welcome, and who is saying ‘I’m much better than you’ along with ‘I don’t need you? I could go on with the hypocrisy but my point is made.

    QueenMalice said:

    See, the great thing about me being me, is I don’t have to answer to you, nor do I have to listen to you.

    Hey, heres a thought. You’re listening to us now. Otherwise you wouldn’t be replying. Also, if thats true, why the fuck should we listen and answer to you? Hmm?

    Eve said:

    Unless of course, they get their kicks out of arguing with women, which of course would be incredibly childish.

    You both (You and Queenmalice) both seem to get your kicks out of argueing with men. So that means your childish too.

  15. Necroswordsman Says:

    On a final note to all of Queenmalice’s comments:

    I would respect you for being able to pay the bills and do alot of stuff like that, but its shattered when you start being a bitch. You almost had a point, but you lost it coming onto this site.

  16. son of the suns Says:

    BMU is gone for good because Coderch never shuts the fuck up, diamatik.

    Allow me to lend my own insights into QM cunt.

    She’s a narcissistic cunt who married some false alpha to recieve the best “genetic material” that women’s simple monkey brains can comprehend. Now that she’s got a good job and “myyyy kids”, Malice the white trash whore is ready to abandone the father at any time. Afterall, he’s past his prime and getting chubby.

  17. diamatik Says:

    I just cannot fathom the concept of women being responsible with money. When I think of women and money, my mind conjures up images of chimpanzees on amphetamines playing a game of monopoly.

  18. Eve Says:

    Necroswordsman said:

    You both (You and Queenmalice) both seem to get your kicks out of argueing with men. So that means your childish too.

    You should have left me out of the category and you would have - maybe -scored yourself a point. As it is, I’m not arguing with anyone. I was replying to Queenmalice and giving my opinion. I was not replying nor arguing with any man, so you are sadly mistaken, child.

  19. wolfe Says:

    Interesting, Eve. I replied to you politely and in detail. You chose to ignore that reply and focus on another response that you felt was argumentative, yet, in reality, simply echoed your statements.

    And you chose the dismissive form “you are sadly mistaken, child.”.

    Do you feel no guilt, no shame for doing this? If so, fair enough. That’s certainly your prerogative as a human being and a woman.
    -wolfe

  20. Eve Says:

    I apologise, however, I was intending to reply to you, but I was distracted from doing so straight after reading it.

    Give the lady (if you’d prefer me to call you ‘woman’, I shall; I do not mean ‘lady’ in a derogatory or condescending fashion) a prize!

    I prefer the generic, woman.

    but I do agree they have been disappointed, hurt and disillusioned by women, either by their mothers or their girlfriends/wives.

    The first part of your sentence is bang-on. The second is largely false. Yes, the men here have been disappointed by women. No, in at least half the cases this is not personal, though I can only speak directly for myself.

    If it isn’t personal, then your opinions are obviously based on what, observation? Observation is subjective and subjected to bias, regardless of the goals of the ’scientific method’. There is no need to resort to derogatory remarks just because woman are different to men. Criticising woman for their differences is ridiculous and shows a fear probably based on not understanding woman.

    My last girlfriend was an extremely nice person. She tried very hard to be kind. Unfortunately, she had a series of personality problems that were the envy of major analysts everywhere, but these were hardly her fault. She was a good and gentle person. A better person than I in a number of ways.

    Most nice people do not have personality problems so it seems strange that she was both nice, kind and gentle, yet disordered.

    I believe Dick is on record as stating that his mother was a saint

    .
    Please fogive me for laughing, but I don’t believe a word the man says. If a good woman raised a man to dislike, criticise and nitpick about other woman, then I say that mother is possessive of her son and not willing to let him go.

    They have obviously been unlucky or let’s hope that is the reason because if it isn’t and if there are actually men on this site who have had decent mothers and relationships with non-superficial women, then I pity these men.

    With respect, perhaps you should take a long hard look at yourself and the society in which you live.

    With respect, perhaps you should do likewise. I mean, really do it. Go and talk to women in a refuge or speak with a social worker.

Pages: « 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 » Show All

Leave a Reply


Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis