MADD Can Go And Fuck Themselves
There’s nothing I love sticking to women more than a big slab of science.
Well almost nothing.
It’s every man’s dream to lead everything he does with a joke about his penis. Don’t be afraid to dream. It’s your birthright as a man.
Also, don’t be afraid to drink. As a man, drinking is not as harmful to your body and brain as it is to a woman. I question whether it’s even harmful at all.
Mothers Against Drunk Driving can go and fuck themselves. Here’s why. A recent Russian scientific study says alcohol affects women way more than it does men. After examining and subjecting a pool of 100 alcoholics to intelligence tests of working memory, cognitive flexibility, spatial planning, and problem solving; female alcoholics were found to be absolute shit at them.
Here’s my question: how do you even test a woman’s problem solving abilities? Do you bounce ping-pong balls off her forehead? Testing a woman’s problem solving skills is like testing a jock strap for comfort or finding the world’s bravest chicken shit. Either way, it’s your nuts in the noose.
According to this Russian study, men are better than women at escaping the long-term effect of alcoholism because our man-bodies contain more water than those of our shittier counterparts. Well you know what else our man-bodies contain more of that is an equally valid scientific explanation? How about dignity?
Men have the dignity to not binge drink ourselves into oblivion like the study says women do more often than men. Men also have the dignity not to lie like fucking dogs about our alcohol dependence. I took my own survey of two women and how much they drank last Saturday night. My study showed that both of them lied their asses through their teeth about it and I know because I bought all their drinks.
Without a shock collar and two dozen hidden cameras, it’s impossible to know what a woman has done before her last meal. Dr. Barbara “Banana” Flannery is MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month for April for coming to the right conclusion with her data: men are better than women, science says so. But how much stock can we put into this strange science of taking women’s word for things.
What’s next? Is there a frightening outbreak of menopause in 37 year old women?
No. Check their fucking driver’s licenses.
Speaking of driver’s licenses, based on this study, I officially challenge MADD to petition, or do whatever donkey shit women do to get results from congress, to change the legal limit of alcohol women can drive with from whatever it is to .01% lower than the corresponding legal limit for men. The science is right in front of us. Men are better than women at everything involving alcohol. Do you want roads to be fucking safe or not?
Obviously a woman driving at all is a danger to herself and everyone on the road, but I’ll be damned if she’s allowed to do it as drunk as I am.
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November 6th, 2007 at 8:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: a7ff6b1816221
MADD now stands for Mothers Against Destructive Decisions, so now it’s more than just drunk driving.
It’s still stupid, though…
November 6th, 2007 at 11:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: b34d382544832
What do u think your doing by coming here…your not stopping us.Your just proving us right.So please have some respect and stop.
November 11th, 2007 at 10:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 151bdb6b34b5c
How can they expect to tell other people they shouldn’t drive drunk.
the only other people is men stupid
November 14th, 2007 at 8:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: e160bbd867c64
FUCK YOU. you fucking dumb piece of shit, i hope a drunk fucking driver hits you.
November 26th, 2007 at 2:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 422940479a69d
I’m a necromancer sweetie.
I do not fear death. Nor do I believe there is such a thing as hell. Except that if there is, it’s the Void instead. If so, then I welcome it.
December 1st, 2007 at 12:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 35859a888f768
Hay pussy pie,
I wouldn’t even have the courtesy to drive you home drunk. I’d just leave you naked and knocked up in the middle of the freeway.
December 1st, 2007 at 8:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
oh right, and the boy that crashed his car into a telephone pole while i was walking down my street wasn’t that bad either.
imaging if he was drinking
i don’t understand how preventing deaths from drunken idiot such as yourself is a bad thing
Teenagers, adults, any age get killed in accidents everyday
You can insult them all you want, but when someone close to you gets into an accident because of a drunk driver, well, maybe you’ll regret this post
though that’ll never happen, considering your a narcisist
December 1st, 2007 at 9:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Oh god….thats awful…..
1) Why do you guys say such awful awful things?
2) How do most of you concoct such extreme and sometimes very disgusting scenarios?
and
3) Do you guys really talk like this in real life?
December 6th, 2007 at 1:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
Oh, you’re not laughing. Your pissed right off. But you can’t do anything about it, so you cover up your anger with false laughter rather than admit it to yourself. A lot of people do it. Especially women. It’s a common psychological defense mechanism. In fact, it’s part of the reason humans HAVE laughter. It allows us to overshadow some negative emotions when the subconscious deems it necessary. However, being unaware of this process yourself does prove to us you are the type of person who regularly lies to herself without realizing it.
All humans can lie to themselves. And the most dangerous part of it is being unaware of it. That’s when we loose touch with the reality of self, and we become further incapable at effectively socializing with others, and reconciling our internal dialog with our external.
If you’re angry at this site, feel free to come right out and say it. We won’t fault you for it. But you’re only fooling yourself when you tell us you find it funny. I assure you, we can see through the ruse.
Hammer, as much as I respect you, both of us being men and all, that was pretty fucking sick. I can understand where you are coming from, but saying something like that is just perpetuating our problems. I might be thinking the same thing, but honestly man….that was pretty brutal.
Wait, you welcome us to hell? So you yourself must already be there in order for you to be able to welcome us there…
I totally agree. The more women who come here and stick their foot in their mouth, the more fodder we will all have to point out their stupidity. It’s a win win situation for us.
After all, if no women ever came here, it would be hard for us to continually find evidence which supports Dick Masterson’s theories.
Thankfully, you women provide us with more than enough.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 955ecd7b9aea4
Says Clair,
1) Why are you such a moron?
2) How did you get to be this stupid?
and
3) Are you really this stupid in real life?
December 8th, 2007 at 7:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 67a0afd34df4c
Maybe men would binge-drink more if, like women, they found it easy to get some moron like you to pay for their drinks…
December 8th, 2007 at 8:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6db06b2e65288
Maybe men think that binge-drinkers are the morons rather than the people buying the drinks.
A wad of cash can be replaced in no time, but a womans fucked-up brain cells, kidneys and liver cannot. Sorry, what am I talking about. A ‘womans brain cells?’
December 8th, 2007 at 9:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2b28d30123cf8
What?.. You should be thanking us for buying your drinks. Instead of calling you a hooker we buy you drinks instead…. The same events take place later on that night anyway….
January 26th, 2008 at 10:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
is this a gay website?
March 4th, 2008 at 4:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29dc16034fa15
No, it’s not, whore.
March 30th, 2008 at 3:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: d3f0e6c0e32c4
misogyny is hate of women
March 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71fbcaf84e4ac
You know, that long detailed answer and that’s all you can say?
April 14th, 2008 at 1:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09b607c8c4b90
She likes repeating the obvious, it seems. Maybe she thinks she’s a parrot? Pretty high aspirations, I have to say.
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:57 am - IP Man-Hash: b5c2845d1548b
Men are great….every woman should own one!
June 21st, 2008 at 4:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
All women are whores, no need to remind us.