The 2010 Man Capsule
“A sure sign of the decline of an empire, is the rise of feminism.”
The first man to say that was not me, Dick Masterson. It was first said by the British army engineer and Lieutenant-General who trained the Arab Legion in 1939: Sir John Glubb. Eat shit, feminism.
Feminism is the zenith of human sloth and stupidity. Complaining won’t make men less better than women, and no amount of fact-fucking is going to reverse the age-old maxim that you can catch more flies with honey than with a shrill and obnoxious dogma. Feminism can take out its own garbage before barbecue sauce leeks all over the linoleum. I’m busy doing man things.
If hell freezes over and Hillary Clinton wins the 2008 presidency with her running mate, Senorita Vagina, then we can expect total “empire decline” as early as 2010. In order to preserve manliness against the all-consuming gash that is H. Clinton “The Queen of Swine”, I have taken it upon myself to bury a Man Capsule deep in the manliest desert on Earth.
My Man Capsule is a lot like a time capsule, but it contains all the very manliest of things. After Hillary runs civilization straight into the shit-can like a trillion dollar lawn dart with her womanly incompetence, the Man Capsule will be exhumed and a new dawn of manliness will break.
Manly poetry: +5 Man Points
Illustrated World War II Encyclopedia Set (Vol. 1-24)
We’ve learned a lot about war during our time on this planet. The first thing we learned is that war is awesome. The next thing we learned is that war is even awesom-er the second time around. I can’t wait to see how manly the third world war is going to be. Some of it might take place in space.
I won’t sit back and let war get sent back to the Dark Ages. Especially after Hillary convinces everyone that war is bad and that guns are evil because they look like penises — the penis her husband used to cheat on her with. If war was good enough for our founding fathers, it’s good enough for us. My Illustrated World War II Encyclopedias will be the textbooks for the new manllenium. The riches contained within will be read as bedtime stories.
Barbie & Bob the Builder
Women are stupid prostitutes. Men are productive, affable, and can be mass marketed to children even after they’ve put on a little weight. Mr. Potato Head probably outsold his fat-ass wife by 10 to 1.
Children don’t need to go to school. All they need to do is stare at their toys and they’ll figure out everything on their own. Girls want to play with baby dolls that piss themselves, and boys want to build the world. If we don’t give boys computers, they’ll use Legos. Without Legos, they’ll use rocks and mud — and they’ll build computers out of that.
Sure, boys want to run the world after they build it, but that’s why I included the war encyclopedias first. We’ll know exactly what to do when that happens.
And so will women thanks to the Barbies.
A Carton of Swisher Sweets
While Hilary Clinton is most definitely running on the Democratic platform, she’s also running on the platform of “My Husband Fornicated With a Pig Using a Cigar.” That is a dangerous platform for cigar smokers. Within hours of Hillary Clinton’s perverted invasion of the White House, expect a global ban on cigars and anything else that looks dick-like. Say “goodbye” to your Romeo and Julietas, and say “hello” to soy, romance novels, and blowjobs full of teeth. Aye Carumba!
Swisher Sweets are the worst “cigar” on Earth. As much as I’d like to pack my Man Capsule with a box of Uptons or Partagas, a hole in the middle of the desert is no place for a fine cigar. The men of the brave new world would be disgusted by such an oversight. They might even start to believe some of the feminist propaganda themselves.
Swishers cannot possibly go bad because they are already as awful as they get. And just like men do when they have a girlfriend who is a total bitch, these brave men of the future will make it their sole mission in life to fix these fouled cigars into something awesome and manly — something worthy of attention.
a .357 Magnum revolver
Guns are like women. They’re useless without a man around to use them. I am placing my personal .357 Magnum revolver in the Man Capsule for the same reason Hillary Clinton hates guns: they remind everyone of how powerful The Penis is.
Having a penis is like smuggling an M1 Abrams Tank around in your pants. You look at something, and it’s destroyed. Every time you unzip your fly you should hear trumpets of the Rapture.
Engine Block of a 1952 Vincent Black Shadow
In a world ruled by women, anything that can’t be covered with foam rubber or stuffed with a safety plug will be chucked into the bottom of the sea. If you have a motorcycle, hide it the day Hillary takes office. If you own one of the rarest and most treasured bikes in the world, the Vincent Black Shadow, send it to me and I will bury it for posterity in my Man Capsule.
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.
$1 Bills
Women hate money. That’s why they spend it as quickly as possible. That’s also why they can’t save it. They’re afraid of it. And that’s especially why women don’t fight for a raise in the workplace. They hate money and also they’re cowardly.
If you had a money clip full of spiders, you’d try to spend it as quickly as possible too.
Women hate strip clubs almost as much as they hate money. Once Hillary takes office and bans anything that looks like a dick, she’s going after anything that looks like a boob. Any woman president would. And speaking from personal experience, nothing looks more like a boob than naked boobs.
After Hillary’s Rein of Vagina, men will need a flurry of $1 bills to reignite their atavistic need to cram dollars into women’s g-strings. I am placing a stack of ones in the Man Capsule to jump start the human sex drive after years of gabbing and getting nowhere.
Bacon
Pig based products will become a rarity in a US run by Hillary Clinton. Bacon’s delicious flavor will be a newfound orgy of taste in the mouths of future men who uncover my Man Capsule.
“What happened to these strange and fat and crude animals what begot this meat?” These men will say. Well future men, I’ll tell you what happened to those strange and fat and crude animals. Bill Clinton fucked one.
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October 30th, 2007 at 11:44 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
If she believed that, why would she give me her IP and email addresses?
-Dick
October 30th, 2007 at 11:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I hope you get raped.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Then you might feel passionate about it, and comments made praising it.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I proposed castrating rapists. They deserve it. I never read anyone proposing disemboweling men though. What? You expect me to go through old threads?
Oh, and as for….
lol. Kinda hard to do, wouldn’t you say?
October 31st, 2007 at 1:40 am - IP Man-Hash: b97a424d9626a
Clair said:
I proposed castrating rapists. They deserve it. I never read anyone proposing disemboweling men though. What? You expect me to go through old threads?
Clair said:
I hope you get raped.
October 31st, 2007 at 1:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 46bb66504b900
The emotional beast that is woman. I have never wish for a woman to get raped and said it myself that I am anti-rape. If you cannot have that for a response, so be it. You have convinced me of the maliciousness of you and your gender. I wish for you to be raped and taught your place through that fucking numbskull of yours. Be gone, bitch.
October 31st, 2007 at 1:50 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
The emotional beast that is woman. I have never wish for a woman to get raped and said it myself that I am anti-rape. If you cannot have that for a response, so be it. You have convinced me of the maliciousness of you and your gender. I wish for you to be raped and taught your place through that fucking numbskull of yours. Be gone, bitch.
Yes I am a very very emotional person. I am also very irrational. With time as I grow this will fade (for the very same reason that I exlained to you oh so many times). As of now though, it stands true.
Any person that condones rape or speaks highly of it, deserves to get raped. And anyone that supports such people is just as bad as them, thus they deserve the same ill-fate. Perhaps my opinion will change, I doubt it though.
October 31st, 2007 at 1:59 am - IP Man-Hash: a15e50dc03aef
MansVoice is saying he is against rape, and your telling him he should get raped. WTF?!!?!? Tell me where you get your drugs from cause it must be some good shit to have you talking such fuckry.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:03 am - IP Man-Hash: c41f2159ece8c
I suppose you support the Death Penalty too, Clair?
October 31st, 2007 at 2:12 am - IP Man-Hash: c41f2159ece8c
What about women who scream rape and then it’s discovered they were lying? Shall we remove their clitorises and surgically close their vaginas except for a very small opening for discharge?
Clair, you are a cunt. There is no other word to describe you or women like you which, unfortunately, is most of them. Fuck off the site now….it’s time for the men to talk.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:14 am - IP Man-Hash: a15e50dc03aef
Actually I say clair, dont fuck off the website, stay, because you alone are proving just about every single one of dick’s points.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:14 am - IP Man-Hash: a15e50dc03aef
It’s always good to have a shining example
October 31st, 2007 at 2:16 am - IP Man-Hash: c41f2159ece8c
Apologies to MansVoice for the quoting error in the above post. It is a quote from Clair and all the words that followed were mine.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 9604615ec560b
No problem about it RobC. You know what she would interpret my reply as though? Or your “apology”? She takes it as a sign of “submission” because alphas apparently cant display simple courtesty to one another as that is “weak”.
I dont know what is her issue. I said I am anti rape but I wont go around telling somebody else what to believe. That is called “minding my own business” BUT she came in with a horseshit tirade on “You are either for it or against it” which is a fallacy in itself called ” argumentum ad hominem”
October 31st, 2007 at 2:35 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
No, you see he says he’s against it. But when dick was speaking highly of it, MansVoice had nothing to say about it. He didn’t speak out against it. He’s just as bad.
And yes, I am for the death penalty. And yes, I know I’ve heard it all before “Aren’t you just as bad as them?” “Crime statistic s in America say it doesn’t deter”, well I’m sick of debating it. Retribution is what counts. When their is proof beyond doubt, and the criminal has committed a crime such as rape (actual rape), murder (not manslaughter, murder) and the like they deserve to be put to death. Every single one of them - they don’t deserve the gift of life that they have soullessly tarnished for another person. Plus it’s eliminating one more threat in society.
RobC said:
No, because they didn’t rape anyone. But they do deserve to get raped for making a mockery of such a horrendous crime.
oh no…please stop…I may just cry…
October 31st, 2007 at 2:37 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
No no MansVoice. He apologized with a sense of dignity, he did not grovel as you did, and he was the one who made a mistake, so the apology was justified.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:41 am - IP Man-Hash: a4d09f925fa82
Grovel? Please tell me how in any way is “Sorry, where is this thread located? I wish to clear the misunderstanding” grovelling?
October 31st, 2007 at 2:43 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
What planet do you live on where women don’t rape anyone? A woman having sex with a small child is rape. Yes, it’s very possible a drunken or sober man could awake and find a woman performing a sex act on him.
Guess whats that’s called? Rape. If you believe one way you have to believe the other.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:43 am - IP Man-Hash: b97a424d9626a
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallacy
Either you’re for me, or against me” unknown but common fallacy (False dilemma).
Fallacies are used frequently by pundits in the media and politics. When one politician says to another, “You don’t have the moral authority to say X”, this could be an example of the argumentum ad hominem or personal attack fallacy; that is, attempting to disprove X, not by addressing validity of X but by attacking the person who asserted X. Arguably, the politician is not even attempting to make an argument against X, but is instead offering a moral rebuke against the interlocutor. For instance, if X is the assertion:
Fuck you, whore. Do you even know what you are talking about? What do you want me to say against it? I said I am anti rape and that is that. Have you spoken out against the numerous women who advocated castraton and killings upon us for … just speaking out? Fuck no, so dont expect the same treatment you dumb bitch.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:44 am - IP Man-Hash: c41f2159ece8c
I can’t believe what this bitch is saying. So when she gets raped for making a mockery of this “horrendous crime” are you then going to castrate the man that rapes her?
I’m going to make this clear. Clair, you are a CUNT!!!
If brains were dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow your fucking hat off your head.