The 2010 Man Capsule
“A sure sign of the decline of an empire, is the rise of feminism.”
The first man to say that was not me, Dick Masterson. It was first said by the British army engineer and Lieutenant-General who trained the Arab Legion in 1939: Sir John Glubb. Eat shit, feminism.
Feminism is the zenith of human sloth and stupidity. Complaining won’t make men less better than women, and no amount of fact-fucking is going to reverse the age-old maxim that you can catch more flies with honey than with a shrill and obnoxious dogma. Feminism can take out its own garbage before barbecue sauce leeks all over the linoleum. I’m busy doing man things.
If hell freezes over and Hillary Clinton wins the 2008 presidency with her running mate, Senorita Vagina, then we can expect total “empire decline” as early as 2010. In order to preserve manliness against the all-consuming gash that is H. Clinton “The Queen of Swine”, I have taken it upon myself to bury a Man Capsule deep in the manliest desert on Earth.
My Man Capsule is a lot like a time capsule, but it contains all the very manliest of things. After Hillary runs civilization straight into the shit-can like a trillion dollar lawn dart with her womanly incompetence, the Man Capsule will be exhumed and a new dawn of manliness will break.
Manly poetry: +5 Man Points
Illustrated World War II Encyclopedia Set (Vol. 1-24)
We’ve learned a lot about war during our time on this planet. The first thing we learned is that war is awesome. The next thing we learned is that war is even awesom-er the second time around. I can’t wait to see how manly the third world war is going to be. Some of it might take place in space.
I won’t sit back and let war get sent back to the Dark Ages. Especially after Hillary convinces everyone that war is bad and that guns are evil because they look like penises — the penis her husband used to cheat on her with. If war was good enough for our founding fathers, it’s good enough for us. My Illustrated World War II Encyclopedias will be the textbooks for the new manllenium. The riches contained within will be read as bedtime stories.
Barbie & Bob the Builder
Women are stupid prostitutes. Men are productive, affable, and can be mass marketed to children even after they’ve put on a little weight. Mr. Potato Head probably outsold his fat-ass wife by 10 to 1.
Children don’t need to go to school. All they need to do is stare at their toys and they’ll figure out everything on their own. Girls want to play with baby dolls that piss themselves, and boys want to build the world. If we don’t give boys computers, they’ll use Legos. Without Legos, they’ll use rocks and mud — and they’ll build computers out of that.
Sure, boys want to run the world after they build it, but that’s why I included the war encyclopedias first. We’ll know exactly what to do when that happens.
And so will women thanks to the Barbies.
A Carton of Swisher Sweets
While Hilary Clinton is most definitely running on the Democratic platform, she’s also running on the platform of “My Husband Fornicated With a Pig Using a Cigar.” That is a dangerous platform for cigar smokers. Within hours of Hillary Clinton’s perverted invasion of the White House, expect a global ban on cigars and anything else that looks dick-like. Say “goodbye” to your Romeo and Julietas, and say “hello” to soy, romance novels, and blowjobs full of teeth. Aye Carumba!
Swisher Sweets are the worst “cigar” on Earth. As much as I’d like to pack my Man Capsule with a box of Uptons or Partagas, a hole in the middle of the desert is no place for a fine cigar. The men of the brave new world would be disgusted by such an oversight. They might even start to believe some of the feminist propaganda themselves.
Swishers cannot possibly go bad because they are already as awful as they get. And just like men do when they have a girlfriend who is a total bitch, these brave men of the future will make it their sole mission in life to fix these fouled cigars into something awesome and manly — something worthy of attention.
a .357 Magnum revolver
Guns are like women. They’re useless without a man around to use them. I am placing my personal .357 Magnum revolver in the Man Capsule for the same reason Hillary Clinton hates guns: they remind everyone of how powerful The Penis is.
Having a penis is like smuggling an M1 Abrams Tank around in your pants. You look at something, and it’s destroyed. Every time you unzip your fly you should hear trumpets of the Rapture.
Engine Block of a 1952 Vincent Black Shadow
In a world ruled by women, anything that can’t be covered with foam rubber or stuffed with a safety plug will be chucked into the bottom of the sea. If you have a motorcycle, hide it the day Hillary takes office. If you own one of the rarest and most treasured bikes in the world, the Vincent Black Shadow, send it to me and I will bury it for posterity in my Man Capsule.
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.
$1 Bills
Women hate money. That’s why they spend it as quickly as possible. That’s also why they can’t save it. They’re afraid of it. And that’s especially why women don’t fight for a raise in the workplace. They hate money and also they’re cowardly.
If you had a money clip full of spiders, you’d try to spend it as quickly as possible too.
Women hate strip clubs almost as much as they hate money. Once Hillary takes office and bans anything that looks like a dick, she’s going after anything that looks like a boob. Any woman president would. And speaking from personal experience, nothing looks more like a boob than naked boobs.
After Hillary’s Rein of Vagina, men will need a flurry of $1 bills to reignite their atavistic need to cram dollars into women’s g-strings. I am placing a stack of ones in the Man Capsule to jump start the human sex drive after years of gabbing and getting nowhere.
Bacon
Pig based products will become a rarity in a US run by Hillary Clinton. Bacon’s delicious flavor will be a newfound orgy of taste in the mouths of future men who uncover my Man Capsule.
“What happened to these strange and fat and crude animals what begot this meat?” These men will say. Well future men, I’ll tell you what happened to those strange and fat and crude animals. Bill Clinton fucked one.
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October 29th, 2007 at 11:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
The mensuck.com thing is satire as well. You would have come to that conclusion if you read that mini bio on the author, or browsed the site.
October 29th, 2007 at 11:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
It’s only satire if it backs up your side.
October 29th, 2007 at 11:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Ok…was that meant to be sarcasm with a hint of hostility directed at me? Or was it you stating a ‘fact’?
October 30th, 2007 at 12:41 am - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Rape is like the NFL. It benefits millions vicariously, and hurts a very real few. If women were in charge, it would be commercialized.
-Dick
October 30th, 2007 at 12:56 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
God you are sick. How does it ‘help’ people? What the hell is wrong with you? How can you support rape???
October 30th, 2007 at 1:07 am - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
10 out of 10 women have rape fantasies.
-Dick
October 30th, 2007 at 1:17 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
You’re sick. You really really really are. How can you support rape?
October 30th, 2007 at 3:19 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Dick is she really Demi?
October 30th, 2007 at 3:33 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
And you have nothing to say about that mike5150? There’s this guy that thinks rape helps more then it damages, basically supports it, and you find nothing wrong with that? Does anyone here find anything wrong with that?
October 30th, 2007 at 4:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 50da02be8381c
@ Clair: I am anti rape but this is Dick’s site and his property. You can tell him politely you disagree and that is that. We have our agreements and disagreements but we also agree to disagree. When you are in Rome, you respect the laws of Rome.
I am against rape, I am against domestic violence which I am sure Dick is too. But if he chooses to have his own stands and views, I am not going to ruffle feathers and start a fight. Before you call me a hypocrite. Ask yourself, has any feminist fought the fight for men? Yeah, thought so.
October 30th, 2007 at 4:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 92db72c86765b
Women have no need to fear rape, not when they can quickly disguise themselves as vending machines.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/japanese-skirt-fear-of-crime/2007/ 10/20/1192301096588.html
October 30th, 2007 at 4:47 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
You are a hypocrite. You know why? You can ’stand up’ to a woman for thinking she is equal to a man, call her names, degrade her, but won’t stand up to a man who thinks rape is a positive thing. You fucking make me sick. As for has any feminist stood up for men, if thats the foundation of your argument, then your argument hit rock bottom. Look up Cathy Young fuck face. Against rape and domestic violence my ass. Stupid little boy.
How the fuck do you get dick is against against rape? I ask what kind of sick perverted fuck endorses it and he tells me to shut the fuck up, rape helps more people then it hurts.
Oh and you don’t respect Roman law, it’s ‘when in Rome do as the Romans do’.
You make me fucking sick. You claim your a man, you say you take what it’s got to be a man, but you don’t. Here’s a man that says rape is POSITIVE and your to chicken shit to do anything. Who cares if it’s his site? If he says something that offends you, be a man and speak up. But you didn’t, so it obviously didn’t offend you. Because you didn’t speak up, and you had the chance, it means you for it.
You and other other person out there that thinks rape is a positive/good thing, is just as bad as any rapist.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:12 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Cathy Young=1
October 30th, 2007 at 5:22 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
You’re just as bad mike. You are a sickening excuse for a human being.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:42 am - IP Man-Hash: d3ce55c73f54c
Just stay in the kitchen and you won’t get raped.
/thread
October 30th, 2007 at 8:16 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fbf993af398
So fucking what, little girl? I have no business to take your side and “fight your battle”. You wish to make a scene with Dick, handle your own fights. I spoke out and said I am “anti rape”, thats it. I could have remained silent but I said that to show that I was indeed against the act. Dick has his own views, I have mine. This site is all about controversy. If he thinks rape is positive, so be it. He is a man and entitled to what he wants to think. If he thinks euthanasia is good, so be it. I dont stand to correct him, why should I go poking my nose in your business? I dont give a fuck.
Of course I know its “When in Rome do as the romans do”. I just gave it a twist to improvise the statement. Nothing wrong there?
I dont give 2 fucks if I make you sick. Read my fucking lips, whore. I dont give a fuck. It is Dick’s site. He makes the rules and I respect what he has to say. If you are unhappy with what is being said or discussed, FUCK off. Are the things he said oto tender for your fucking girly ears? Awwww… too bad.
“Because you didn’t speak up, and you had the chance, it means you for it.”
Lmfao. Whatever, bitch. I dont see you speaking up for men so you can eat your own hypocrisy shit. I have no business with Dick against what he wants to say. I respect what he has to say and agree largely with most that has been posted. sure, there are those which I disagree with but so fucking what? This is what is called “freedom of speech” - you are forced to listen both the positive and the negative.
“You and other other person out there that thinks rape is a positive/good thing, is just as bad as any rapist.”
*Sighs*, fine then. I shant say anything at all on the rape issue. You know what is your problem Clair? That you think you are soooo fucking smart and thus can disregard anything anybody else says. Sorry, fuck bitch. This isnt your home. If you arent happy with what is being said, thats TOO FUCKING BAD. SUCK IT UP.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 1b282541e5f4b
Hey bitch, I didnt see you speaking up against the numerous women on this site who advocated castration and disembowlment on men. So shut the fuck up about being a hypocrite, you fucking cunt. You deserve to be treated like a bitch.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:41 am - IP Man-Hash: c14d471d83006
Except if you approached any of those women and asked them sincerely if they want any man to be castrated, I doubt many (if any) would say “Why yes. Please cut off his balls… I wouldn’t have it any other way.” On the other hand, Dick here openly promotes violence against women and appears to be sickeningly sincere about it…
October 30th, 2007 at 10:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 497a2bd14e918
I don’t see where Dick said he promotes rape. Learn the definition of words and how to use them.
He said it ‘”benefits” millions vicariously.’
To paraphrase a womanism - if you can’t figure it out, I’m not going to tell you.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I think the ladies got lost on their way to Fuck Off.