Marriage Is A Business
In 2006, 86 billion dollars was blown on weddings. This number is misleading, however, as it does not include all the bullshit newly married women buy in an effort to wash the stain of ex-girlfriend off of their new husband’s old furniture.
Yes. Women think like that.
The 86 billion dollar Wedding Waste also does not account for all the vacation plans and work days your average wedding fucks with — especially mine. The real dollar figure is probably in the trillions. Remember when Jennifer Aniston shut down the PCH for her wedding? How much did that bitch cost?
Weddings are obviously a business for dress makers, photographers, videographers, caterers, shitty DJ’s, bakers, florists, musicians, priests, Elvis priests, limo drivers, divorce attorneys, and the entire “chick flick” industry, but more importantly, weddings are a business for you: the groom. Whether you like it or not!
Congratulations, gay people of California. Welcome to hell.
When you sign on the dotted line of a marriage license, you’re entering a business contract. Forget the vows. Forget the Chicken Dance. Forget the lame bachelor party that takes place camping instead of at a strip club because the modern groom is too much of a pussy to look at a naked boob — and the modern bride is too fucking stupid and too much of a bitch to realize that paying to see some tits does not count as cheating. Seeing naked tits is not even in the same universe as cheating. If Total Recall had been released in 2008, engaged men wouldn’t be allowed to see it.
When you get married, you are signing a legal contract. That’s what marriage is. It has nothing to do with “romantic gesture” and everything to do with getting claws in your cash. If you don’t think that’s 100% true, try telling your fiancee that you’re fine with embarrassing yourself in front of your 200 closest friends and family by emotionally masturbating with her in some kind of sick, childlike pantomime of sincere affection just to put a smile on her face; you just don’t want to sign a legal document that leverages sex against money.
Because that’s called prostitution.
The thunderclap you’ll hear right after telling her that is the sound of her vagina closing to you forever. Marriage is a business. When you leave the business part out, women don’t consider it marriage. All women are whores, and nothing says that better than the words, “I do”.
Leaving money out of a marriage turns a woman’s vagina from a retirement fund into a coin purse.
Before you cinch the nuptial noose around your nuts, I want you to ask yourself one question:
Do you remember the last time you made a business decision just because you “felt lucky”? Well do you, Punk?
Besides motorcycles, boats, and mortgages that half of America couldn’t afford, men do not make business decisions based on their feelings and, more importantly, they are never encouraged to start. Consult my last three examples. Each of them is a financial black hole and only one of them turns a profit in Man Points.
Boats are money pits; motorcycles sit unused in the garage until I buy them on eBay for a substantially reduced price; and marriage is a subprime meltdown for your personal life.
Marriage is a business and a WSB (Whore Savings Bond) for the shrill bitch your wife will become the second the divorce papers are signed.
Can you imagine if the rest of the business world operated like the business of marriage? Everything would be owned by one big conglomerate because it would be too expensive for companies to stop doing business with one another. Nothing would ever improve because with no competition, GE wouldn’t invent the all-in-one convection oven/microwave. GE would just sit around in a velor jumpsuit watching television all day, imagining ways her kids could be in danger, and approaching a size 16 at 55 miles and hour in the fast lane. Decisions would be made by a faceless entity of compromise that made no one happy and somehow took ten times as long. Everyone would get 50% of everything no matter how impossible that was and how little work everyone else did. And everything would suck because marriage has zero benefits.
You can have children without being married. Trust me.
The entire shit would also be run by divorce lawyers. In the business of marriage, they’re the real winners.
Every time I get drunk, I sign a contract with Jack Daniels that promises the feeling will last forever. It doesn’t. It’s called a hangover. Grow up and deal with it.
50% of the time, marriage doesn’t “work”, it just doesn’t fail. Just because you didn’t crash your car on the way to Vegas doesn’t mean you had a good time. Maybe you stayed in Binions. Maybe you lost your wallet at a blackjack table. Maybe you just sat in the driveway and cried because your wife will never be your 20 year old secretary.
That’s a loss of Man Points.
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Hollywood’s Opinion
Wednesday May 07, 2008
Hypothetical Truth
A woman has two men to choose from to marry.
Both men are equal in what constitutes a genuine man.
One man works for a local Fast-Food Franchise.
The other man works for a National Conglomerate’s Head Office.
The woman chooses the man working for a National Conglomerate’s Head Office.
I have two questions:
First is a multiple-choice question:
What is that woman?
A. A Wife
B. Happily Married
C. A Lucky Woman
D. A Prostitute
Second is a “Yes” or “No” question:
Did the woman sale her “Bargaining Unit” (Pussy) to the Highest Bidder?
A. Yes
B. No
Let’s talk about a woman’s Honesty now:
There are Two Creatures more Honest than a woman.
First a Dog is more Honest than a woman. A Dog will always tell you the truth and that truth is whether the dog likes you or not! A woman will lie and tell you she likes you. (Another thing is, a Dog is Loyal.)
Second a Prostitute is more Honest than a woman. A Prostitute will tell you at the very start how much it will cost a man to have access to her pussy (Bargaining Unit). I use a prostitute merely as an example of Honesty, but I do not recommend this type of woman for any man, unless you like sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, fifths and diseases.
Respectfully yours- Hollywood’s Opinion
Bless your heart Hollywood, I couldnt of said it better myself……BRAVO>>>AMIGO !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, Philomena. let me see if I have this straight.
Most sexism in the Anglosphere is female sexism directed against men, which is good. But, male sexism directed against females is bad. How am I doing?
Does this mean you are marching up and down protesting the evil sexism of automatic maternal custody in divorce, though a majority of child abuse is done by women, and also evil sexism that women are not required to register for Selective Service? I call your view of sexism, “Pick-n’-choose equality.”
I agree in principle there are women in the Anglosphere with integrity and honor. Of the hundreds or thousands of women I have known in the US over the years, I have identified at least 6 who are sane and have honor. They are lovely examples of womanhood; but I would like more than a rare example. That leaves a lot of women who are not sane nor have honor.
Of the estimated 40 women who live near me here in rural Mexico, at least 3 are fully sane.
A friend once said, “A Scout is trustworthy; loyal; helpful; friendly; courteous; kind; obedient; cheerful; thrifty; brave; clean, and reverent. A feminist is none of these.”
Correctly stated, most women in the Anglosphere are none of these.
To save the dummies time, let me point out that Girl Scouts was invented by a woman who took a long ocean cruise on the same ship as Lord Baden Powell, the man who invented Boy Scouts. She essentially imitated him and modified things for the weaker gender.
Note BSA says, “A scout is”.
GSA says, I will do my best to be…” Look it up. They know dearies can’t make the cut, so they merely ask them to at least make an effort, which is probably better than nothing. Men are better than women.
Yea like you and other cunts are only entitled to make money just because you got a swamp between your legs
Unlike you.
But this guy has made money doing it. The young ones of Luelinks can only aspire to be him.
Coming from a manhole, that is hilarious. You’re trolling Dick’s site, fuckface.
No man, if this guy changed his ways he wouldn’t be so damned hilarious. Stuff like this is a damn entertaining read. He’s like, a super-troll.
dick,
sexism is an issue you obviously deal with, there are so many woman out there with integrity and honor and what you are doing in ignorant!
I pray you change your thoughts
@ irlandes
Good story man, so you luckly avoided what went down in US as women took over the power of the marriage dept. so now no one wants to marry and the last steap is for men to realize, that they don’t need marriage, and everyone will be happy:) Women in power what a blesing;)
Ha, ha,………. ha
Lily from A… ha, ha
We men are loughing at you too, you are a cunt and we don’t want your pussy. Also add gay men in Australia who don’t want your pussy either, ha, ha….. There are so many of them thanks to you and cunts like you and your incompetence about men. And good luck in expanding the number of men, who are going to not want your pussy, ha, ha…. or maybe even worse, much worse, ha, ha…ha, good luck in being an idiot with a swamp between your legs, ha, ha.
make that 2 sandwich’s thanks Lily and when you done that you can feed the Horses :)
Stop giggling like an idiot, twat, and get me a sandwich.
lol marriage is about how the wife always tells the hubby she is gonna leave but dosen’t. Yet she complains that the hubby wants to spend 20 dollars on his car yet she EXPECTS me and my dad to notice her new 80 dollar hair cut.
meh fuck em, work hard and spend your hard earnt cash on yourself :)
Gee, thanks Irlandes =)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha te he. Thanks Dick. You’ website’s hilarious! I particularly love your 10 reasons why men are better than women. Truly cerebral stuff. Thanks for giving me a good belly laugh today.
Not ugly by any means. Attitude is everything. Thanks! For the photo and for the good attitude.
Meaning…..??
I guess I loose man points for not putting two and two together soon enough.
Sorry, fixed it
Mexico is cooler than Hollywood makes it look (because if most men found out, they would abandon the US tomorrow), but the women there are starting to get as bad as Americans.
Last time I was there, some lovely senoras said they were envious of Norte Americanas and their “freedom.” In all seriousness I asked them what freedom American women had that they themselves did not. Mexican women can work, vote, drive, etc.
Furthermore, I told them something that American TV never would:
1. American women had access to 100 times the exotic worldly foods that these Latinas could imagine (average Mexican groceries outside of large cities are little more than 1940’s-level general stores selling basic staples), yet insist on restaurant food rather than cook. Even when they do cook, it rarely consists of more than opening a box and adding water and hamburger meat.
2. American women have access to computers, internet, free libraries, and government subsidized universities, a wealth of educational materials and support at their fingertips, yet would rather dump their husbands, then their children in our pathetic public schools to get low-paying cashier jobs. They couldn’t care less about their children’s education. That only counts the children they haven’t aborted because it “interfered” with their “careers,” and not the women who dump their kids on immigrant nannies!
3. American women have access to technological wonders that can maintain and cleanse the modern home in a matter of minutes, yet they consider it “drudgery.” Compare this to the women I was addressing, who cleansed their homes of mountains of dust with hand-made brooms, had water service two days a week, and washed clothes on a concrete slab cast with lumps. (PS, all your jeans will be authentic stone-washed after a week!)
4. American women have access to bolts of cloth in thousands of colors and styles, and high-tech sewing devices, but would rather brutally exploit the labor of these Mexicans and third-world nations to provide their closet-bursting wardrobes. These women were clothing their children and selves in beautiful hand-made garments, sewn in some cases on those old pedal-powered singers, all made with love. I was very grateful for the hand-embroidered handkerchief one of them had made for me personally.
I could go on, but I assured them all that they were more beautiful and precious than they knew, and that I would not trade one of them for a thousand primping and posing “free” American skanks. Alas, I don’t think the next generation or two Mexican girls will be so good, and they will no doubt continue to absorb the lazy and self-serving tripe of the lesbo-cat-lovers creed.
-Rawkstah