Simon Says: Men Are Better Than Women
Women have ruined books.
First, they infiltrated books with their “romance” and other literary promiscuities. Fanny Hill, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, The Kite Runner; those are all obscene and rife with moral depravity. That last one is Oprah’s favorite tale about a little boy who gets raped. Who would read about something like that?
Women.
Then, when no one was looking, women turned books into magazines and slapped tampon ads all over them. I hope no one built a mini-mall on Hemingway’s grave. The constant movement of him spinning the fuck around inside will probably mess with the foundation.
I don’t even want to talk about Harry Potter. Those books made all women on Earth about five IQ points stupider just for getting read. Why the fuck would anyone try to score any goals in Quiddich? If they crossed the NBA with an Easter Egg hunt, going to see the Miami Heat play the Houston Rockets would mean getting punched in the mouth by Shaq while an Asian the size of Bird Bird probed your cornhole for a million dollar snitch. The ball would be long forgotten.
You would just try to catch the snitch, is what I’m saying — unless women were allowed to play for some stupid reason. Oh, would you look at that.
A long time ago, the American novel was something of honor and dignity. The Old Man in the Sea comes to mind, as do other manly works: The Great Gatsby, Catch-22, pretty much anything written by a Russian person.
Well, women have fucked all that up. And that means it’s up to me, Dick Masterson, to fix it. One book at a time.
Simon and Schuster are putting women in their place by putting Men Are Better Than Women: The Book in their mouths. Before I tell you what it is, let me tell you what Men Are Better Than Women: The Book is not.
It is not The Shopaholic Ties the Knot. It is not The Anger Workbook For Women. I checked and discovered that no, that book is not Blowjobs for Dummies being sold under a different title. It is not The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, or any other book for women that could also be called Whorecules in New York: Chapter A Million. It is not The Knitting Circle or any other book where women get to vicariously live their dream of suffering close, personal loss like the death of a child.
Hercules in New York was a great movie. I wish there was a director’s cut that didn’t have the dick-off voice over messing with Arnold’s manjo. I would give that to everyone this Christmas.
And that’s exactly what you should do with my book.
Men Are Better Than Women: The Book is proof that everything I’ve said and ever will say is 100% accurate, that women can fuck off my site forever like I’ve always told them too and it doesn’t mean shit to me, and that no matter what, even in a business dominated by women and their rampant incompetencies, manliness prevails.
Men are better than women.
Also, blaming men for the three books I mentioned at the start of this is like blaming children for child pornography. That makes you a sick person, but more importantly, it makes you a wrong person.
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MansVoice, I wouldn’t boast about that. A man discovered electricity, men discovered cures for diseases and so did women. Not to mention that there are still many diseases left to be treated. Every brick on a road? Come on…
Men did not build the world from scratch. The world was there, men discovered things that they could do with it. So did women. God you all make me feel literally sick.
It is not hatred; it is recognise our true birthright as the superior gender. Why cover up your fear with a “laugh”? Proof or studies? What proof are you speaking of? Men are better AT EVERYTHING. On the Dr Phil show, Dick himself said “Men invented electricity, men invented cures for diseases and every brick on the road is there because a man placed it there”, Men have built the fucking world up from scratch. What the fuck are you talking about of “proof”? Are the 7 wonders not proof? The space shuttle? The nukes? What a fucking moron.
You must be fucking kidding me.
Ha.
This is so great for a cheap laugh.
You’re all idiots. Barely anything here is validated by proof or studies, so don’t kid yourselves. You’ve all put yourselves up on thrones. Swallow your pride, boys.
If you were any kind of intelligent, you’d all realize that this site is an emotionally based and illogical idealization that promotes the hatred for 3 billion people who you have never met. It’s simply not rational to maintain the belief that every woman on earth is the same.
Get the fuck over yourselves, you worthless, pompous idiots.
And don’t bother telling her to fuck off or leave. She’s like the scary looking hobo who hangs out near the posh restaurant hoping she gets a tip or gets a rich person.
That’s deduction.
Considering who this is, that’s not a big surprise. It’s not even a surprise.
That’s deduction.
Now, as much as I love hypocrites and sweet-16 entitlement whores, we’re all going to have to ask you to leave. Don’t let the door hit your fat, ‘juicy’ ass on the way out. Hey, if you look, dress, talk (sure as fucking hell), smell, and think (because I know there’s no Einstein under that hood of yours) like a whore, you’re going to be treated like a whore. And whores, man or womyn (being that it’s always men who do the research, initiate the contact, etc., it’s kind of hard for a straight man to be a slut. But in the name of gender neutrality, I say), are going to be treated like foreskin around the nipples and vagina. That’s all you’re wanted for. Don’t try to give someone some lip. Exactly how satisfying is it to know that the only reason you aren’t getting told off or popped in your jaw is because everyone knows that you’ll run for help if you get what you deserve? That’s like a little child. Hell, where the fuck is my entitlement?
I’m sick of reading ad-hominems, and I know I can’t be the only one.
Shouldn’t you be in the closet hiding from Ms. Piggy or something?
First, they infiltrated books with their “romance” and other literary promiscuities. Fanny Hill, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, The Kite Runner; those are all obscene and rife with moral depravity. That last one is Oprah’s favorite tale about a little boy who gets raped. Who would read about something like that?
Women.
butbut. DH Lawrence and John Cleland are… MEN.
It is wrong. Men are better than women.
sorry, i like anal because it’s not romantic and i don’t have to look at the dude’s stupid facial contortions when he comes (you know you all make ridiculous faces while you ejaculate, don’t you?)
Any idea how dumb you look with your mouth full of cock, or cum dripping off your face?
Ps. I’m glad I just offended all the women on here :)
Well, I’ve never looked in a mirror while ejaculating, so I’ll have to take your word for it. But it is interesting to see how you hate distractions so much that you prefer not to see his face … so you can focus solely on how you’re going to spend his money.
sorry, i like anal because it’s not romantic and i don’t have to look at the dude’s stupid facial contortions when he comes (you know you all make ridiculous faces while you ejaculate, don’t you?)
I fail to see the problem with that.
You know if Simon said it then it’s a fact!
Why do women hate the truth?
Because men are better than women and they know it.
Up?
They grow down, mate.
Ha ha ha, it’s too late to ‘intimidate’ him and boss him around, cunts. You avoided reality and now look what’s happened - another equality book hitting the shelves!
What do vagina’s grow up into?
there’s a reason your name is dick, grow up and get a life
Buy your own goddamned shirt.
Classic “woman wants something, so she gets the man to buy it for her” tactic. I swear…