Men Have Bouncier Brains
Women are whores of many things. First of all, they are actual whores, which I’ve already proven. They’re also attention whores of course. That’s another obvious one. Then clothing whores and jewelry whores and shoe whores, but that’s all pretty much the same kind of whore — a money whore.
It comes as a major shock to me — which as a man I express in a simple, “Hmm, that’s interesting,” that women are also whores of a completely different colour.
Women are also memory whores.
I’ve often gone on record saying that women have the memories of goldfish. A goldfish is a creature that will eat itself to death because it has forgotten the act of similarly gorging itself not five minutes ago. Goldfish will also eat their own shit. They are a foul and slimy creature kept in tanks by the hundreds in wait for their one and only purpose — to sustain life. The comparisons to women are innumerable.
Saying women have the memories of goldfish, however, isn’t exactly true is it? No, the truth is that women remember shitloads of things. We all know it. They just don’t remember anything worth a damn like directions or to bring their fun attitude or that work doesn’t start at 9:35 it actually fucking starts at 9:00. That’s why women having no memories is something that I like to call a man-truth. A man-truth is something that while not true at the moment due to a glaring contradiction, will probably be true at some point in the future with more evidence or consideration.
That future is now.
A recent article that I’ll post at the bottom says the ability to think critically, AKA take care of business and get the job done, is not a function of memory, but of selective memory. Sound interesting? You bet your man ass it is. Let me give an example.
Let’s say that thinking critically is like flushing a toilet. You have your problem floating in the bowl and the solution comes about as you flush the handle. A bunch of swirly shit happens (unless you’re in Australia where I’ve been lead to believe that the water doesn’t swirl clockwise as it does here. It just drops straight into the drain) and when all the noise is over, the problem is gone.
That’s how a man brain works. Problem, flush, solved.
A woman’s brain is exactly like the above, except that before she even starts thinking, the bowl is already chock full of shit. As any man can tell you, a toilet chock full of anything — especially shit — is not going to flush. Fuck what’s it’s going to do is make one hell of a huge, horrible mess — which only makes this metaphor ten times more man-true, because that’s exactly what happens when women think — a huge, horrible mess.
So what’s the problem here? The problem is that if brains were nightclubs, men’s brains have huge burly dudes out front who look like they used to stunt double for that guy Zeus in the movie No Holds Barred with Hulk Hogan. They don’t take any bullshit and if you’re dressed like a slob, you don’t get in. Anniversary? Who gives a shit about you, get to the end of the line. Women, however, have a sign out front with a bowl of candy that says “Please only take one” that all the assholes ignore the fuck out of as they pack the nightclub until the poor guy in the Get Your Oil Changed T-Shirt with the Don’t Act Like a Bitch brand slacks can’t even fit his hand in the door.
Women are memory whores. They have no concept of priority in memory just like they have no concept of priority in life. If you’ve ever seen a woman try to balance a $5 cup of coffee or a baby on top of her car while pumping gas, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
And that’s a man-truth.
Related Articles:
May 8th, 2006 at 2:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: f2a1311f766b9
Rio, does that mean you are a “real women” telling a “real story” and using your “real brain”.
Well done, big effort eh !
May 8th, 2006 at 3:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 65f0c599e325f
This is so funny! I think that if I were a man I would sit on the computer all day long and bad talk women too. Or…. I would go and get laid because the more that I read the more it comes to me, you all are a bunch of fat losers who have nothing better to do then make fun of things you don’t understand a.k.a.: women
May 8th, 2006 at 3:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1633be816f3c7
rio said:
This is so funny! I think that if I were a man I would sit on the computer all day long and bad talk women too. Or…. I would go and get laid because the more that I read the more it comes to me, you all are a bunch of fat losers who have nothing better to do then make fun of things you don’t understand a.k.a.: women
Theres your problem rio, not the fact that you are thinking (although I suspect that you don’t do too much of it, judging from your posts) but you are trying to think like a man. Don’t do it, you can’t. Your presuppositions are laughable to say the least. The only thing that surprises me more than that is your complete ignorance of the posters on here. Many of us are married, or have girlfriends, personally I have several. However, I view this place (mostly) to have intelligent discourse and to air my own views with my fellow men. That said, to quote the words of Dick, please Fuck off this site. You don’t actually provide anything rational, and throw out insults like baseballs.
Strength and Honor
May 8th, 2006 at 4:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 65f0c599e325f
Just like any other close minded person you think that anything different then your own thoughts are not “smart” I don’t really care if your married or have several girlfriends truth be told you probably don’t even feel more superior then a women, especially if your married, but your comments and posts are helping me with my paper, please keep them coming.
May 8th, 2006 at 4:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1633be816f3c7
So you don’t actually dispute anything I said you just say you are apathetic to peoples relationships, even though you are more than willing to make blatant insults about the posters here. Hypocrisy if I have ever seen it. Once again take your stupid ass off of this site.
rio said:
This is so funny! I think that if I were a man I would sit on the computer all day long and bad talk women too. Or…. I would go and get laid because the more that I read the more it comes to me, you all are a bunch of fat losers who have nothing better to do then make fun of things you don’t understand a.k.a.: women
May 8th, 2006 at 4:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 65f0c599e325f
Hypocrisy? I think not. Do you know the meaning of the word? The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness. An act or instance of such falseness. (dictionary.com ) you claim me a hypocrite when most everything on this site is false or just plain stupid, please enlighten me how is it that women, just like the Jews and the blacks or any other group or minority that has been discriminated against, as risen up through time to become economically and intellectually equal, or close to equal, as men
May 8th, 2006 at 6:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
This site isn’t about Jews and Blacks, it’s about men and women.
And women aren’t a minority. In the US, the UK and Australia, they’re a majority.
-Big Al
May 8th, 2006 at 6:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: a7bd6238a5dde
read what I said you idiot if you think your witty your sorely mistaken, let me stay away from the laws of women and purely spew facts at you, women were discriminate against for centuries on the rare case that a women became in charge of a country most historians agree that the country or region was run better than before. When women were granted there natural born rights they soon came dumb close to being equal with man, if this pattern keeps up I believe in 20 years we women will run the country.
May 8th, 2006 at 8:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 64d1a286ddc5b
rio, you mentioned you were writing a paper on this subject. I hope you have one hell of a spell checker. I don’t mean the Word spell checker either. You’re going to need to step it up. Try MI 6. They might have a computer capable of pulling some subject matter out of that horseshit you call language.
-Dick
May 8th, 2006 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: f2a1311f766b9
It must be at least in the top 5 percent in “women’s studies”. It keeps sprouting the same feminist rubbish, the same deletery feminist drivel like an automaton.
Women will run the world like one of the female governers that cried when faced with the disasters in New Orleans or better still lets make a movie, no a long term series about a bitch as President and then scrap it after a couple of months as it’s going nowhere fast and is as boring as hell.
Yes I can see you girls screw the world up as you have already done through feminism, political correctness and affirmative action. Unfortunately it will be up to men to clean the mess up after you all fall into a screaming hysterical heap as the prozac run out.
May 9th, 2006 at 2:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 1633be816f3c7
Here we go once again, I will attempt to show you your hypocrisy.
rio said:
This is so funny! I think that if I were a man I would sit on the computer all day long and bad talk women too. Or…. I would go and get laid because the more that I read the more it comes to me, you all are a bunch of fat losers who have nothing better to do then make fun of things you don’t understand a.k.a.: women
That was the first post, random insults about men talking amongst men, and the fact that they cannot or will not go get “laid” like that is the most important thing in the world (its actually the only thing of value most women can bring to the table).
rio said:
Just like any other close minded person you think that anything different then your own thoughts are not “smart” I don’t really care if your married or have several girlfriends truth be told you probably don’t even feel more superior then a women, especially if your married, but your comments and posts are helping me with my paper, please keep them coming.
So here is the second post, and therein lies the hypocrisy, we are all bald fat losers sitting on the computer bashing women, and probably gay, from her other posts, but when trying to explain that most of us are heterosexual men, and have relationships ect ect you see the point I hope.
-Heres what I think Rio, I think like Wolfe has said of several posters on here, that you have some sort of chip on your shoulder, you seem to post somewhat intelligently, however whenever someone challenges your assumptions, you respond like a twelve year old at recess with pointless insults and shit we have all heard before. I would suggest that you are the ignorant one and maybe you should actually read some of the archives to gain a better understanding of what goes on here. Why don’t you pull your head out that little box that you seem to call “reality” and look at the bigger picture. Men are actually THE minority in society and women have been taking the lions share of social services for decades. There are now more women in college than men, however women are still the ones that are being catered to, men have no rights in reproduction, nor very many in family courts, men are the ones that mostly have to pay for womens choices, and pay just to see their children. How about all the lies that feminism have propagated? “All men are rapists, all men are oppressors ect ect. We have been listening to this shit for at least thirty years, and you have the gall to come on here and try to say that this site is bullshit? How about looking at your own misconceptios before you start proclaiming others?
Strength and Honor
May 9th, 2006 at 2:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 1633be816f3c7
rio said
read what I said you idiot if you think your witty your sorely mistaken, let me stay away from the laws of women and purely spew facts at you, women were discriminate against for centuries on the rare case that a women became in charge of a country most historians agree that the country or region was run better than before. When women were granted there natural born rights they soon came dumb close to being equal with man, if this pattern keeps up I believe in 20 years we women will run the country.
Idiot, thats like the pot calling the kettle black, woman you cannot even spell correctly and you are here calling others stupid? Let me inform you on another one of feminisms lies that keep hateful bitches like yourself misinformed.
When women were oppressed, so were men. As a matter of fact men were moreso due to conscription. Women weren’t slaves, and in those periods Men had much more dangerous and physically exhausting jobs than even now. PEOPLE have been “discriminated” against for millenia, however why is the spotlight only on women? Because they are the ones that cannot let the past go, and move on with their lives, they constantly think they are being “oppressed” whenever they don’t get their own way (kinda like a little kid, much like your posts as well).
Also learn how to capitalize and use sentences before you go around calling people idiots, it only goes to show how ignorant and stupid you really are.
As to women running the world, thats good for a laugh, there have been matriarchal societies before and they have come crashing down like a sack of shit (which is what they were). I have posted before on the fact that many matriarchal societies, were more than willing to enslave and oppress their populace (lets not include the sacrifice of humans on the altars of the “Great Earth Mothers”. In short you just spew out all the bullshit you hear in Wimmyns Studies class, you don’t actually bother to research this stuff yourself.
Strength and Honor
May 9th, 2006 at 5:51 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
Yep, that’s about as close as they came.
-Big Al
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc0655c283574
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHaH. Since you are all for examples, statistics and sources, pray tell the wonderful deeds of these “women leaders”. Most historians agree that women leaders contribute/are better than men? I know Wolfe is a history prof;perhaps his expertise can be sought.
Well, heres my input. Women leaders are crap: Cleopatra, Empress Dowager Cixi, Joan of Arc, Queen of Britain to name a few. They were overly emotional and failed to see beyond the “loyalty of their officers” to them. Take Cixi who who was overly obstinate in using her own “inner circle of people” to run things. Well, she fucked up China causing it to remain backwards.
Again, my challenge to you is PROVE IT. Show us how women leaders are better when its obvious they ARE not. Run the country? Take over the world? That wont happen with men like us here who will stop you bitches from nazi-fying our world.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2943b847db306
You guys are dateless. NO WOMAN WILL HAVE You most likely.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: dd9708364a7b9
I’m so disappointed.
I had hoped, based on the title of this article, that there was some kind of scientific experiment where they dropped donor brains from a high place and watched how many times they bounced, thereby proving that man brains literally BOUNCED more than woman brains. I was about to hold my bouncy man head high with pride, but alas, cannot as of yet.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: ed5255bdaf0a9
That can be fixed…
*pulls out hack saw*
On your mark.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: e609ee1fbc305
Where’s the funny part? You seem to be confused. We don’t want stunted, PC-conscious slack-jaw mindrot. We want real humor. Try something more along these lines:
My friend raped a stripper. He got arrested for theft.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: ed5255bdaf0a9
You don’t have to pay a stripper shit so why the hell would it be theft? Prostitute dude, prostitute. At least get the damned joke right.
May 28th, 2008 at 1:47 am - IP Man-Hash: dd9708364a7b9
ALRIGHT!!! I like your attitude, good sir!
Thank G-d somebody around here is looking to take care of business.
When you’re just done make sure to put my brain back in my body, and not whoever you choose as the she-brain specimen.
*lays down on a table*