Men Have Bouncier Brains
Women are whores of many things. First of all, they are actual whores, which I’ve already proven. They’re also attention whores of course. That’s another obvious one. Then clothing whores and jewelry whores and shoe whores, but that’s all pretty much the same kind of whore — a money whore.
It comes as a major shock to me — which as a man I express in a simple, “Hmm, that’s interesting,” that women are also whores of a completely different colour.
Women are also memory whores.
I’ve often gone on record saying that women have the memories of goldfish. A goldfish is a creature that will eat itself to death because it has forgotten the act of similarly gorging itself not five minutes ago. Goldfish will also eat their own shit. They are a foul and slimy creature kept in tanks by the hundreds in wait for their one and only purpose — to sustain life. The comparisons to women are innumerable.
Saying women have the memories of goldfish, however, isn’t exactly true is it? No, the truth is that women remember shitloads of things. We all know it. They just don’t remember anything worth a damn like directions or to bring their fun attitude or that work doesn’t start at 9:35 it actually fucking starts at 9:00. That’s why women having no memories is something that I like to call a man-truth. A man-truth is something that while not true at the moment due to a glaring contradiction, will probably be true at some point in the future with more evidence or consideration.
That future is now.
A recent article that I’ll post at the bottom says the ability to think critically, AKA take care of business and get the job done, is not a function of memory, but of selective memory. Sound interesting? You bet your man ass it is. Let me give an example.
Let’s say that thinking critically is like flushing a toilet. You have your problem floating in the bowl and the solution comes about as you flush the handle. A bunch of swirly shit happens (unless you’re in Australia where I’ve been lead to believe that the water doesn’t swirl clockwise as it does here. It just drops straight into the drain) and when all the noise is over, the problem is gone.
That’s how a man brain works. Problem, flush, solved.
A woman’s brain is exactly like the above, except that before she even starts thinking, the bowl is already chock full of shit. As any man can tell you, a toilet chock full of anything — especially shit — is not going to flush. Fuck what’s it’s going to do is make one hell of a huge, horrible mess — which only makes this metaphor ten times more man-true, because that’s exactly what happens when women think — a huge, horrible mess.
So what’s the problem here? The problem is that if brains were nightclubs, men’s brains have huge burly dudes out front who look like they used to stunt double for that guy Zeus in the movie No Holds Barred with Hulk Hogan. They don’t take any bullshit and if you’re dressed like a slob, you don’t get in. Anniversary? Who gives a shit about you, get to the end of the line. Women, however, have a sign out front with a bowl of candy that says “Please only take one” that all the assholes ignore the fuck out of as they pack the nightclub until the poor guy in the Get Your Oil Changed T-Shirt with the Don’t Act Like a Bitch brand slacks can’t even fit his hand in the door.
Women are memory whores. They have no concept of priority in memory just like they have no concept of priority in life. If you’ve ever seen a woman try to balance a $5 cup of coffee or a baby on top of her car while pumping gas, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
And that’s a man-truth.
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December 15th, 2005 at 2:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Now that’s charming.
Classy even.
No wonder my dad warned me to stay away from Australian sheilas.
-wolfe
December 15th, 2005 at 10:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeffcc3f4c66e
Geez, Dick. Female person whines about all men’s deficiencies, but fails to note your number 1 rule. No wimmin’ allowed.
Glad Aussieland is about as far away as you can get from here.
The Geezer
http://www.hatemalepost.blogspot.com
http://www.thespinmeister.blogspot.com
December 16th, 2005 at 12:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 855239f484b2b
Consider yourself lucky, if you think that this bitch is unusual or different than the other Aussie-skanks, you would loose manpoints.
Sadly, bitches like the one above are prevelant in the land of Oz and it’s crippling the country and turning it into another feminised Count-try.
Australia has really gone downhill in a big way as you can read and see in the news.
All those lads raised by their single mothers is what we have to thank for this mayhem. But ofcourse they would never admit it or accept responsibility for it.
But, thats females for you. Totally devoid of principles and honour.
December 16th, 2005 at 1:16 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
Inconsistency depends on the man of course, but most typical males forget about their much loved toy when the next newest shiny thing comes along. You may discover this firsthand when you hit 42.
So are you saying he likes the sound of my shrill voice then? Not that my voice is shrill which has already been discussed here. Man Law 5. The only thing men pay attention to are boobs.
No, thank god.
Congratulations.
Trenchcoat? Favoured clothing item of shady characters. No women would be seen dead in a man’s trenchcoat. If you were out shopping wearing one no doubt your gf was dragging you out for some new clothes. Man Law 6. Men are unable to realize when they need to stop wearing their warddrobe from 1989. Man Law 7. There are only 3 occasions when it is possible for a man to get a warddrobe update. 1. Queer eye team ambush him in his home, 2. He comes out of the closet or 3. Girlfriend takes him shopping within 2 weeks of first meeting.
We do, I wear it all the time. Right now I am enjoying the colour watermelon.
This is not a talking heads column.
Wrong. Most men are looking for a mother who will do all this for them because they certainly can’t find the time to stop checking pr0n on the net, to do it for themselves. My last bf drove me insane with his nonexistent financial skills. Guess who decided and picked which car he’d buy next? Guess who decided where he would move to? Guess who ended the relationship due to not wanting an adult child on her hands who was begging for some infant playmates.
Dust. This has already been covered on another thread. General consensus was that men cannot see dust because they cannot see detail. Too busy with their “visions” of discovering something in the deep void of space.
You’ve just proved my point. Just can’t you can’t see the dirt, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
December 16th, 2005 at 2:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 3f6f1bc89c9c0
Will she ever figure out the quote system? Too funny.
December 16th, 2005 at 3:29 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
How do you know that? Did you help out by throwing beer bottles or swing from the trees while beating your chest? The reason this has happened is because our pollies do nothing but remove police and judicial powers while gangs of ape like youth roam the streets threatening to gang bang 12 year old girls. Meanwhile their older brothers actually do this to the 14 and 15 year “sheilas”. Men between the ages of 13 - 28 years when they roam around in packs are no different from hyenas and our police have been kneecapped. You know this is no BS.
December 16th, 2005 at 3:44 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
Most Australian women believe he sniffs it on a regular basis. Just like a smackhead, he can’t seem to get enough.
December 16th, 2005 at 3:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 855239f484b2b
Did I not say ” they would never accept the responsibility for it” ?
Did I not say that.
Hello !
December 16th, 2005 at 4:13 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
Perhaps the men involved need to accept responsibility for being complete dickheads. I was planning on snorkelling at a city beach this weekend, but oh no, I can’t do that now can I, now that these fuckers are planning on hitting every beach in Sydney to bash anglos. I joked earlier this week that the cops would have to put gates up around Cronulla and now I read in the paper today that they are doing exactly that!! What the fuck is wrong with the men in charge in this country. Heads need to be pulled out of arses on the fucking double. Here’s a quick shopping list our politicians might consider deferring to next time budget expenditure comes up for action.
1. Fund an actual police force.
2. Buy a couple dozen water tankers, apparently a company in Israel makes them and they’ll only set us back $800K each.
3. Build more prisons. Better yet, return to the ball and chain, dump hundreds of fuckers out in the desert and make them build an irrigation system. If they run away, they’ll only die, so it’s win/win.
4. Reinstate Capital Punishment for all psychotic murderers, rapists and peodophiles.
5. Fund a riot police squad.
6. Buy a shitload of tazers for police force (and some for me).
7. Fund training of attack dogs.
8. Fund education classes for stupid men so they can learn where to correctly apportion blame and assign responsibility. First class to be attended by politicians only.
9. Invent a new government servant position and employ thousands of people to fill such positions. Duties include 24hr beach surveillance (cameras not allowed on beaches now, remember) and combing the beach each and every morning to make sure a gang of fucksticks didn’t implant broken glass, upturned steak knives and syringes in the sand overnight while said public servant slept on the job. Much like all politians do! I am sick to fucking death of paying these arseholes to sleep on the job at my taxpayer expense. The recent case of the supreme court judge who liked to sleep during rape hearings before waking up just in time to acquit the accused is a perfect case in point. He needs a bullet to nicely puncture his bowel before he develops a beautiful case of septocemia.
December 16th, 2005 at 5:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b07f3b61e8e3
It’s lynching time boys ! Feminasties all over the world are upset that the Anglo men are finally waking up and starting to kick some ass again. I tell you it will spread from Australia to the USA, Britain, and probably Canada too. White men are the ones who built modern civilization, and I’ll be God damned if we are just going to hand it over to invading 3rd world camel jockeys and ZOG feminasty whores !!! FACT…
December 16th, 2005 at 6:12 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
Actually, civilisation began in Mesopotamia (ie, Iraq). Not that we’ll ever find out much more about the past seeing how the the yanks have shelled it to death.
December 16th, 2005 at 7:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 6c059e71336cb
“Inconsistency depends on the man of course, but most typical males forget about their much loved toy when the next newest shiny thing comes along. You may discover this firsthand when you hit 42″
*shrug* I suppose I hang around with non-typical men, then.
“So are you saying he likes the sound of my shrill voice then? Not that my voice is shrill which has already been discussed here. Man Law 5. The only thing men pay attention to are boobs.”
Well, if ya’ll wouldn’t go around showing ‘em off, we wouldn’t have that problem now would we?
“No, thank god.
Congratulations.”
Yeah, it’s always funny when all your female coworkers come whining about the latest grotesque mess their fellow non-men have made…then talk about how much cleaner women are than men….then refuse to go clean it themselves because it’s “too gross.”
“Trenchcoat? Favoured clothing item of shady characters. No women would be seen dead in a man’s trenchcoat. If you were out shopping wearing one no doubt your gf was dragging you out for some new clothes. Man Law 6. Men are unable to realize when they need to stop wearing their warddrobe from 1989. Man Law 7. There are only 3 occasions when it is possible for a man to get a warddrobe update. 1. Queer eye team ambush him in his home, 2. He comes out of the closet or 3. Girlfriend takes him shopping within 2 weeks of first meeting.”
Ever hear of camouflage? It’s a man’s invention, of course–you see it on soldiers everywhere. If I camouflage myself to be shady, well, nobody bothers me…or any gal accompanying me. Makes ‘em feel more secure.
“We do, I wear it all the time. Right now I am enjoying the colour watermelon.”
Good, so what’s the problem if we throw the reds and whites in together? It’s more efficient.
“This is not a talking heads column.”
Touche.
“Wrong. Most men are looking for a mother who will do all this for them because they certainly can’t find the time to stop checking pr0n on the net, to do it for themselves. My last bf drove me insane with his nonexistent financial skills. Guess who decided and picked which car he’d buy next? Guess who decided where he would move to? Guess who ended the relationship due to not wanting an adult child on her hands who was begging for some infant playmates.”
I’m sorry, but this is not a talking heads column. Sounds like you were dating a woman whose plumbing simply got mixed up in utero, though.
“Dust. This has already been covered on another thread. General consensus was that men cannot see dust because they cannot see detail. Too busy with their “visionsâ€? of discovering something in the deep void of space….
You’ve just proved my point. Just can’t you can’t see the dirt, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. ”
I see dust perfectly fine. I destroy it with such a vengeance and man-tastic efficiency that I need only annihilate it once a month or so.
December 16th, 2005 at 9:41 am - IP Man-Hash: a0c7c73d83830
Jesus, just give up on the quoting system already, Female. How stupid do you have to be to not learn how to use some simple text tags? How many times can you do something completely fucking wrong before eventually getting it right.
What an idiot.
-Dick
December 16th, 2005 at 12:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 616cd3558ebe5
The ancient Babylonians were white female, no coloreds or feminists have EVER built any civilization worth mentioning in the history books.
If it weren’t for the proud red blooded white males, you bitches would STILL be living in shit huts and carrying shit on your heads like fools :)
Smaller cranial capacity, abundance of white matter, no conscience or ethics = LOSERS !!!
December 16th, 2005 at 1:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
Christ you’re a nagger. I think wolfe has inserted some code so that when I quote him it can’t do anything but fuck up.
December 16th, 2005 at 1:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
wolfe? I think God has inserted some code so that you can’t do anything but fuck up.
-Dick
December 16th, 2005 at 2:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
To paraphrase Big Al, it’s not the code that’s “fucking up”, sweetheart.
It’s funny how no one else has trouble quoting me.
Sad that you feel the need to constantly curse.
Dick: If God were a woman (heaven forbid), that would be true!
-wolfe
Oh nos! Teh “secrat” codez!!!:
#if strcmp(uncase(user.name),”female”) _blockinsert((forum->tag).editbox,”
December 16th, 2005 at 2:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
December 16th, 2005 at 5:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
OT: It could be that I’m exhibiting inferior reading skills, but the text seems to have grown very tiny. Too tiny for me to read. Is anyone else having this problem?
December 16th, 2005 at 5:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
No.