Much Ado About Passing Out After Screwing
All mysteries in life can be solved by The Bible or through some scientific thought. Here’s an example:
Where did the moon come from?
From the Bible, we know that the moon is just there and wouldn’t you rather hear about magic apples and talking snakes? I know I would.
Science tells us that the moon was formed 4.5 billion years ago from the ejected matter of a collision between the Earth and a rogue proto-planet — except that the Earth is spinning too fast and is too large for that to have happened, so maybe it was two collisions or maybe Mother Earth just got a lot fatter after spawning.
Typical.
Why do men fall asleep after sex?
That question has bothered me for years because women act like there’s something to stay awake for. There isn’t. There’s only a forty minute monologue on childhood experiences. Childhood experiences that happened to a girl. That means they’re either half-true, half-cryptic stories of child-abuse or subtle ways of her telling you she could have been a model.
Men are better than women at having childhood experiences. Men have hilarious childhood stories that are as entertaining as they are inaccurate. Accuracy is for footnotes.
Evolution
The reason humans have thumbs and not no-thumbs is because humans with thumbs were more suited to survive in the wild. All thumbless humans died out or were beaten to death with clubs that required thumbs to use. The same is true of the colon: the manliest organ. The colon is able to take an unending amount of shit and keep on working. That’s manly.
That’s also evolution.
Let’s assume that at some point there were two types of human males: those who did and those who didn’t fall asleep after sex. Well the ones who didn’t would have evolved right out of existence and I’ll tell you why. Women are dumb as shit and also worse parents than a broken television.
Women are Awful Parents
If prison or suicide statistics are anything to go by, children raised by single mothers are violent, self-destructive maniacs with little positive influence on society and even less potential for personal success. If prehistoric men didn’t fall asleep after pleasuring their prehistoric skanks, then they certainly would have split in the middle of the night faster than dropping a pregnant anchor off a short pier. Prehistoric man didn’t even know “rape”, good luck explaining the myth of “responsibility”.
Last names and Little League had not yet been invented in 10,000 BC. Men would have had no reason to raise illegitimate children.
Men are faster than women. Without the anchor of sleep, all prehistoric children would have been raised by women and thus become suicidal deviants unable to reproduce. They would have murdered each other or killed themselves out due to a crippling lack of self-esteem before Evolution Round Two.
Women are Dumb
Women interpret the endless ability to run their mouths with no consequence as “unconditional love”. That’s why they’re obsessed with dogs. Dogs are the only creatures on the planet able to listen to a woman’s gear-grinding torrent of nonsense with no objection. Slugs and rocks do not have ears.
When men fall asleep after sex, women run their mouths like toothless chainsaws, getting nowhere at a steady and annoying volume and suffering absolutely no consequence for it. That’s when a woman “falls in love” with you; when you’re on your face trying to ignore a story that sounds like Peter Frampton has gotten hold of a dentist drill about her favorite drunk uncle who touched her inappropriately after a fifth grade fashion show that the Penny Saver ran a two paragraph piece on in between an article on gardening and an ad for Hollywood Chiropractic — which is also why she personally hates alcohol.
Once a woman is “in love”, she’ll cling like a charged up pitbull. Even a few knocks to the head won’t make a pitbull let go. The only thing that will is a tastier looking piece of meat or a fatter wad of money.
Women prefer you to fall asleep after sex. Think about it. During a man’s sleep is the only time a woman may speak out loud without feeling as though she is a big, fat retard. And that’s not our manly fault. When you try to cram a wrinkled twenty dollar bill of Monopoly money into a vending machine, there’s no polite way to tell you that you are dumb and that your salary doesn’t matter because the only reason you have a job in the first place is because you have a huge rack and you don’t admit when guys are hitting on you because your mother couldn’t keep her husband. In a way exactly opposite to that does an awake man listen to a woman.
The Bible
What does the Bible say about sleeping? It says that’s when all the trouble started for poor Adam. He went to sleep and God baked him a walking, talking fuck-up. Take a lesson from the Bible and kick her out before she ruins your paradise.
Related Articles:
















February 28th, 2008 at 6:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 38ab83a0040ad
Not true. Males actually have higher IQs than women. The difference is about 5 points:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4183166.stm
There is however, some degree of ethnic variation. Black American women are the only females who score higher than males of the same ethnic group (90 as opposed to 85).
February 28th, 2008 at 6:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 38ab83a0040ad
More details on the issue of male mental superiority:
http://cognews.com/1157772873/index_html
February 28th, 2008 at 9:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 739da81584f7b
Actually, I think that’s because of the shitty education. Thinking about my time in public school I remember all the female teachers and taking all the authority out of school. Hell, I can’t remember a single time a female teacher had her class under control pass elementary.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b693edc92e15
Influenced by her brother? Is there even a reliable source to anything you say? — Anywho… I never stated that Harriet Tubman was THE most active and leading abolitionist, just that she was one of them and that she did contribute to the fight against slavery. And you say that I am the one who can’t read?
Uh… As far as I know, the hormone testosterone provides boys with deeper voices and hairy chests, plus a healthy libido and what-not - it has nothing to do with their brain cells.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 902ea58d0aea2
Stopes may not have been a member of the Nazi party, but her eugenic views were identical: birth control, abortion and so on, to eliminate people she deemed ‘unfit’. Had she not lived in the Anglo-Saxon world, but in Nazi Germany, she would undoubtedly have been an active and committed Nazi. There is a difference between a chemical engineer attending an engineering conference in Nazi Germany, and a eugenicist attending a population control conference in Nazi Germany: the former remains politically neutral, the latter is inevitably politically engaged. In fact, many early feminists were racists and eugenicists, a fact long swept under the carpet by the liberal establishment. Virginia Woolf was also a Nazi cunt, not just Stopes! Elite women are natural allies of Nazis and other authoritarian creeps, a fact well born out by history. We need a Nuremburg trial for such subhuman filth.
February 29th, 2008 at 6:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b693edc92e15
Ha ha. But the fact remains that Marie Stopes never directly associated herself with Nazism. She and Hitler might have more or less shared the same ideas on eugenics, but so did Plato and other ‘respectable’ men throughout history whose works are being praised today. Her views never did any damage to the world, and all I see an attempt to disregard her intelligence because of her stance on abortion and eugenics.
Ah, so you’re getting your information from the… conservative establishment? Virginia Woolf’s marriage with a Jewish man might have driven her to antisemitism [Note: NOT Nazism]… But again, she didn’t get motivated by her dislike of Jews, she’s famous for her literature, so why don’t you give her credit for that? You could even argue that Ghandi was anti-semitic, or at least anti-Israel… But the point is that you could find thrash about anyone’s personality if you were driven by enough hate and desperation.
But aren’t we getting a little side-trackted here? You were asking for technological/intellectual contributions coming from women, but all of a sudden you get an urge to be evasive by questioning their moral anecdotes in order to distract us from their accomplishments?
March 1st, 2008 at 12:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 902ea58d0aea2
A Nazi is anyone with Nazi beliefs, whether they were card-carrying German Nazis or not. The French FN or British BNP are rightly considered Nazis, even today, long after Hitler’s death. Stopes shared key Nazi beliefs - she was thus a Nazi… simple, really.
Interestingly, Gandhi was also a racist who detested black people and thought that only the higher social castes deserved human rights. I think the point is with Stopes that her ‘contributions’ to birth control were, as a whole, motivated by entirely different aims than is popularly considered. In the case of Plato, Karl Marx and so on, their contributions were not tarnished by their appalling racist/fascist beliefs (Marx was also a racist and anti-Semite), as their real contributions were in unrelated fields such as logic, philosophy or economics (Woolf admittedly also falls into this category); while Stopes’ entire contribution was an attempt to legitimate and realize her eugenic, Nazi beliefs.
The whole thrust of puritanical Anglo-American Gentile culture is to set women on pedestals as Saints; when we scratch the surface, however, female luminaries are often appalling Nazi bigots, at least as bad as the males that feminism excoriates. It is great fun pointing this out to feminist pinheads… as it utterly refutes their claim that a female-run world would be morally superior. Just study the social insects to see clear confirmation of that!
Also, I asked for no such thing. You must be referring to someone else. Besides, their are no Newtons or Einsteins in your list - just eugenicists and flower-arrangers. Sad, isn’t it?
March 1st, 2008 at 1:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 38d5ca966651e
Uh, the philosophy of eugenics was coined long before the National Socialistic party in Germany ever existed. Calling for instance Plato a Nazi is like claiming that Hitler was the one who expounded the philosophy. Mhh, let me know if I have to spoon this to you further…
I never talked about Marie Stopes ‘contributions’ to abortion (I’m actually kinda-sorta pro-life myself) to begin with. She’d established the orbit of a new comet… I think? Yeah, nothing big like the atomic bomb, but STILL a contribution. You didn’t ask for it… Uhh, someone out there did.
Your whole definition of “Nazi” is somewhat… Eh, special. It’s certainly not universally accepted… So. Whatever works for you. I will have to check the conservative establishment sometime to see where you’re getting your information on Ghandi and Marx, eh?
Hmmnn, social insects? You mean the drones and the queen bee? Eh.
And no… My list doesn’t consist of any Newtons and Einsteins… They were men, and they did their thing, so why would women have the exact same kind of intelligence as them? You know, it would render them superflous. Apparently women prefer the ‘Right Brain’ mode over the other, contrary to men. We just happen to be in a patriachal world where left-brain modes of thinking are being downplayed. Yet… Not entirely, why do you think there are beginning to be more female Nobel Prize in literature winners than male ones nowadays?
March 1st, 2008 at 1:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8b7da5576e6e9
I am sure the poor Africans will swell in joy.
“Eh”?
Why mention it if you have nothing to add?
Good you seem to think that. I gues that means you are not boasting the “strong, independent woman” bullshit I hear so often these days. Something of a fad, I dare say.
However, this also means that they can only compare in usefulness.
Patrical world? Bullshit.
Feel free to solve world hunger with your emotions. If you can. But hey, the silk is pretty nice, right?
Pity vote? Matriachal vote? Feminist vote?
One winner springs to mind; a book about Valerie Solanas. Hmm, I wonder if there are some sort of reason… Nah, right?
March 1st, 2008 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 902ea58d0aea2
Lol, that one answers itself… the liberal arts are subjective, politically-charged rubbish with no clear criteria of excellence. Since bourgeois-feminist, misandrist bilge arose in the West, their phoney scribblings are suddenly useful to the paternalist elites for fooling underclass/ethnic women into notional inclusion. By contrast, women do not win the Davis Medal in mathematics
1.Because not one of them is intelligent enough.
2. Mathematics is culture and fashion-free, so there is no ‘feminist mathematics’ for liberal monkeys to lionize - there is just Mathematics.
March 2nd, 2008 at 10:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 38d5ca966651e
I can’t reason with someone who has a notion of anything “liberal” being the epitome of all evil… I think that’s disingenuous. Conservatism is just a mindless ideology reducing everything to left, right, black and white. And it does share a lot of it’s key beliefs with Nazism too. So do you, with your views on women being “subhuman” and thus intellectually inferior. It’s the same concept as Nazism, seeing as the Semitic peoples were often pointed to as the cause of conversion and destruction of social order and values leading to culture and civilization’s downfall. Ever studied what women’s positions were on the Third Reich?
http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/Women_Nazi_Germany.htm Read this THROUGHLY. Recognize anything? They were only looked upon as objects, their only funtion being mothers and birth-machine… type… things. That’s one of the reasons feminists could NEVER be associated with Nazism - it just goes against everything they stand for.
I don’t see why you’d say women/feministis are more prone to Nazistic beliefs either. A lot of women were strongly anti-Nazi and played an active part in the anti-Hitler resistance movements.
Talon -
“Eh”?
Why mention it if you have nothing to add?”
Because I don’t see how the social insects are related to what Muzalon was talking about.
“Good you seem to think that. I gues that means you are not boasting the “strong, independent woman” bullshit I hear so often these days. Something of a fad, I dare say.
However, this also means that they can only compare in usefulness.”
Wow, coherency has left the building. What? How is that related to the “Right Brain” modes of thinking?
What I don’t understand is whether or not you hate the supposedly “strong, independent women” or … are you whining because you’ve never met any? I’m dying to know that…. Just out of morbid curiosity?
Why would people be inclined to give “pity votes” specifically in LITERATURE? They aren’t even awarded according to how many “votes” they get, the winners are selected by commitees.
March 2nd, 2008 at 11:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
You’re just as dumb as the next whore. Please stop forcing yourself on us and leave.
March 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Za-zing!
Re-verse.
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 38d5ca966651e
How am I just as “dumb as the next whore”? I’m trying to point out the loop holes in what you’re saying, and I understand why that wouldn’t sit well with extremists like you. And how can you call me a whore when you know practically nothing about me? - Other than the fact that I’m female? That only makes your ignorance, bigotry and intolerance come into the light. And yes, I do believe that extremism, mindless prejudice and ignorance is the one and ONLY root of all “evil”.
If I’m really such an inconvenience … I don’t really care than. I don’t have a need to force my opinions upon others, hurt them, and make them feel inferior to me. I guess that’s what you do. Soo. I’m done.
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: e616b9a6becce
Alas, after my long absence I had hoped to return and enjoy a logical discussion, but such was not to be with Kesia here.
@ Doubt: Good to see you are still posting.
@ Muzalon: Glad you are here.
@ kezia: Muzalons’ points about Marx are not a “conservative establishment” idea. They are of historical record (his essay: On The Jewish Question) as he is the “father” of communism. Thus they are a fact and are taught to those in middle school or Junior High if you prefer. So Muzalons’ points are actually commonly known facts. Perhaps since facts are used by those who are “left brained” you may not have known this as you seem to have trouble accessing yours.
In addition I believe the comparison between Plato and Nazism and/or Hitler was made by you. Muzalons point seems obvious to a logical mind, anyone since the birth of Nazism, with Nazi beliefs, must therefore be a Nazi. You will of course let me know if I have to spoon this to you further.
Oldone
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: e616b9a6becce
Actually, the Love of Money is the root of all evil.
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8b7da5576e6e9
There is a difference between being interlectually inferior and subhuman, and one does not nesesscarily lead to the other. Try again.
You know, women voted for Hitler too.
And you are commiting an association fallacy.
Weasel words.
Then ask.
It relates that by you knowing how men and women think differently, you would know that both ways of thinking cannot be compared, and that they would still have a need for each other.
But maybe I overestimated you.
I have met lots of people claiming to be so, but none so far.
If I ever DO meet one, I will let you know. You see, most of the people saying that are far from what they state. Being independent as a human being is something we, in our current society, can hardly relate to.
All the more for my assumption. Guess what, everything selected by people can be rigged.
Consequently, the “rise of woman” and the new amount of awards for women does inspire some suspiscion on my part. And yes, there were female authors before the sixties.
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8b7da5576e6e9
And if not money, then some other manifestation of power.
You are indeed correct.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:35 am - IP Man-Hash: bf2a9c1d0e309
No cuddling after sex- sleep is just fine.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0008d374299da
“The same is true of the colon: the manliest organ. The colon is able to take an unending amount of shit and keep on working. That’s manly.”
Does that mean womens’ mouths are Manlier or less Manly than a Man’s Colon?
Their mouths certainly produce more shit than our colons. But, it is defective, useless shit. At least the shit that comes out of my ass is useful.
So, quality or quantity? It’s shit; does it have to be useful? Or do we just want less of it?
Oh, you said take, not make… I just noticed that. A simple misundermanding. A word that means that even though I mis-read it, both points derived are still valid because even my sub-conscious man-brain can multi-task in philosophy better than women can walk and chew gum. But I digress….
Maybe if our asses had ears, we’d be perfect in womens’ eyes. Which is why we don’t have ears on our asses; evolution. Not listening to women is what makes us better suited to survive.