It’s All Downhill From Here
It’s part of human nature to go through a midlife crisis. You’re old, you’re bald, you’re comfortable in your job and your marriage; the only thing that will cure your woes is a brand new convertible.
Notice how I didn’t say “affair”. That’s how women go through their midlife crises. Men buy a cool new toy to toot around town with — maybe ruffle the feathers of the establishment as they blow through yellow lights at 65 miles an hour. Women fuck up their families.
I was doing some research on this topic and I found that the average age of a midlife crisis for a man is 46. That’s perfectly reasonable, I thought. That’s right at the point where a man realizes that the big drop in the roller coaster of life was at the beginning and no one told him to stick his hands in the air for it. He should have realized it because of the huge climb, but that’s not how it works. It’s over now and the rest of the ride is just humps and cheesy little jerks that make your neck hurt.
‘Keep your hands in the car at all times,’ haunts his dreams.
So a man does what a man does best: solves the problem. He buys an enormous TV or a ride on a helicopter or a sky diving 10 trip pass that gets used twice until he herniates his back and then everything is good like gravy in a matter of years.
Women, however, are different.
The average age of a woman’s midlife crisis is 17. It’s at that point when women get that glazed look over their eyes and start talking about ridiculous things like goals and dreams and a bunch of other bullshit that they have absolutely no intention of doing and aren’t to be taken seriously by any man over the age of 12. Men do that during their midlife crises too. They say things like, “I’m going to be a painter.” Of course he’s not going to be a painter. It is only a whim of silliness to be indulged for as long as it takes for him to realize that. That’s exactly how it is when a young girl says things like, “I want to be a lawyer” or “I want to be a doctor” or “I believe in animal’s rights!” Sure you do honey. Sure you do. Maybe we should give them the right to vote!
Of course I’m kidding. An animal shouldn’t be allowed to vote any more than a woman should be allowed to vote. Donkey’s and women vote in exactly the same way. A donkey will punch any chad you want for a carrot. Women just need a — well I’m sure you all already know.
A man’s midlife crisis is a desperate and brief act to reclaim a life he once had. That’s a woman’s entire life: desperation and grabbing onto straws that not only don’t exist, but never existed at all. For men, however, it is also a time to reflect on what stupendous things that he has accomplished throughout his life. A family, a career, a hilarious and amorously promiscuous neighbor friend with a funny catch phrase — these are the things a man will take stock of during a midlife crisis.
The only thing women realize during theirs is that they’ve never fucked a black guy.
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@no manhole-
are you a man or a women? I’m confused….
j-ro is not a gay man, but a loony girl!!!!
If you’re new here, manhole is a feminist troll. She frequently questions our sexuality and believes her ‘manly email address’ should alleviate any suspicions about her. Oh, and she thinks me and some other forum member wrote a dictionary because we sometimes use words she does not understand.
Let me fix your stupid.
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/gay.txt
There ya go. Now, on you go to find more ‘intelligent, psychotic individuals who need their views questioned by a moderate.’
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/b/b5/King_of_faggotry.j pg
You know it’s kinda hard to put down someone for english when you’re not using capital letters. Just saying.
Because they can’t stand the fact that a man doesn’t want t hem.
EEEwwww, no thanks! But in a way I admire you, gay man. You can get sex whenever you want. I often thought that the stigma attached for being gay is fully worth all the sex you get. Happy humping :)
Oops! I thought she was a guy, but I’m hated here b/c of the assumptions I make, so what the hey?
Heck if I know why women think men here must be gay, I think Master Dick understands this better than I do.
One thing I remember from college was that if some woman expressed a romantic interest in a guy, and the guy refused, she thought he was gay. Its quite Ok for men to rejected but it seems to be another of a woman is.
spelling AND grammar, that is! ;-)
ok. i might do that.
no lack of playmates here ;-)
work on your spelling grammar a little for next time, ok? you still wrote “your,” not “you’re.”
“…girly-boy?” sheesh.
hugs, manhole!
@no manhole-
FUNNY……”the San Francisco Treat”….
Why is it EVERY single time a new girl comes on here she says something about being gay?????
Nobody here is gay, dingbat. So if your looking for some guy to give you “the San Francisco Treat” in your mouth after dinner, you won’t find it here. My suggestion to you: find your local bath house where you can play submissive to your choice cock-fest, girly-boy.
umm… maybe. but are you gay, or not?
(btw, learn to spell: “you’re,” not “your.”
contraction, not possessive. moron.)
so….your a pathetic moron, yes?
so….. this is a gay blog, yes?
ill tell them diamatik i dont care most men would.
Yes, I’ve heard of that silly uber-narcissistic phrase, and it makes no goddamned sense at all. Just because a few arrogant black guys with super-inflated egos say some dumb shit doesn’t automatically make it true.
As for you knowing ‘plenty of’ black guys that hate it when a black woman has sex with a white woman, try telling them that you refuse to enter into a serious relationship with any white woman that had ever slept with a black guy.
I never said black women having sex with white women? And yes i would lets call what she did very sloppy seconds. Its just how people feel about eachother i know ive lived in 5 different states and experienced it as well as how its shown in movies ect.
Dont flatter yourself if i came with in even 10 feet from you i know id have all kinds of diseases. Do yourself a favor and jump on a giant dildo till you bleed to death.
:S
“He was also 20 years my senior, if you feel the need to get all ageist as well as racist about it.”
You truely are a scummy little whore.