Women Hate America.
If you’ve been watching the Dr. Phil “House of Judgment”, you may have noticed that the first problem Dr. Phil has with my views is that I have a book to sell. Well it’s true, fellows and gentlemen, I am a filthy capitalist. I am a low-down, dirty capitalist who is out to make money by providing you with something that is both manlightening and hilarious for a nominal cost.
And unlike women in the army, this is comedy you can choose whether or not you want to pay for.
How dare I.
I would also like to note that my book is worth its weight in gold. It will teach you how to shut women the fuck up. Silence is golden.
Let’s talk about capitalism. You may already be familiar with it as the thing that brought you everything you know. Imagine Santa Claus with a school bus full of girls gone wild on his back, a Super Soaker full of gin in his hand, and a Viagra-induced boner that could win a home-run derby in the other. That’s capitalism.
Women hate capitalism.
Men love capitalism. We spend money on things we love, and when we’re out of money, we go get jobs we love to make more money to buy more awesome things. To men, capitalism is like jerking ourselves off twice at the same time. It’s a religious experience.
Women buy things they think they need, but don’t. And when they’re out of money, they have to do something they hate to get more of it: fuck. That’s why women hate capitalism. All roads lead to Rome; and all purchases lead to a woman getting on her back.
It was no surprise to me that on a show geared toward women, the biggest alleged “flaw” in my views was that people are willing to pay to hear them. That’s like calling Penicillin a “quack remedy” because it doesn’t grow on the sides of rocks. Just because it’s got a price tag, doesn’t mean it won’t cure your syphilis.
Manpitalism
Women hate success through hard work. They hate rewards for good behavior because it means none of them will ever get anything for free again. And they hate heaps of money falling on men with bright ideas because it means they have to recognize a bright idea in the first place in order to fuck themselves a place in line.
According to women, anyone who lifts a finger to help themselves should get a kick in the teeth and a placard that says, “Congratulations! You just adopted a thousand starving kids somewhere feminism doesn’t give a fuck about — or is there some other reason feminism launches bullshit ad campaigns promoting girls in science when little girls halfway around the world don’t have enough water to live?”
Maybe feminism just doesn’t care about black people.
Opportunity Cost
The more money you spend on the things you like, the less opportunity you have to give your money to women.
Economics — and capitalism — is founded on opportunity cost. I know there are a lot of young men reading this, so I’m going to give you a one sentence primer on money management that could very well save your life.
Everything costs something.
That smart girl with the big jugs in your chemistry class? She costs something. In fact, she costs about one zero more than the flatter girl on her right. Who gives a fuck how smart either of them are? That’s called an opportunity cost.
Women never have to sacrifice anything to get what they want. They just change what they want. If a woman is fat, she wraps velor around her love handles and marries poor. If she’s obnoxious, she becomes a lesbian or gets really into wine. Either way, women work in reverse. They don’t run the race, they just draw the finish line wherever God dropped them.
Take a reasonably hot woman to a bar and see how long she’ll go thirsty because a guy won’t buy her a drink. Fuck, light her on fire. She’ll burn to death before dropping six bucks on a glass of Chardonnay. Women consider any market driven exchange to be unsavory and beneath them.
Capitalism is why women hate strippers.
Lawn Darts
Women are like lawn darts. All the good ones were made in the 50′s.
To a woman, accepting capitalism means accepting that her self-worth as a whore follows the trajectory of a lawn dart. It starts in your hand, high in worth and full of potential. Then you chuck it in the air. Halfway through, everything becomes dizzy and confusing. Panic follows, and as the dart comes hurtling downward, responsibly is abandoned in the name of self-ass-preservation. Who knows where this thing is going to end up, but one thing is certain, someone is going to have to pay when it goes through the hood of your neighbor’s car. That someone will probably be you.
That’s called divorce.
No matter who they are or what they do, women always have the opportunity to whip out their vagina and rake in a quick Divorce Pay Day. That’s what it is to be a woman. Duplicity is your Plan B. Capitalism is a reminder of how much that Plan B is worth.
The Lottery Mentality
The reason women embrace marriage and alimony as if they were life rafts of shit, is because women live by the Lottery Mentality. No woman can achieve through brains and brawn. Those are manly things. Women need to win the lottery; a lottery like a rich internet mogul who mistook her insecurity for shyness and friendship while in college, or a TV producer who was coincidentally left by his wife the same day the lottery winning starlet landing on his casting couch.
Ka-ching!
Women cruise through life waiting for their ship to come in, and they hate anyone who doesn’t see life through the same set of opaque Chanel glasses. However, the lottery is not a form of commerce. It’s a commerce for idiots. The lottery is Sarah Jessica Parker to capitalism’s Nicolas Cage.
Women Hate America
Women hate everything that makes America great.
America was once called the “Great Melting Pot”, because a bunch of cultures from all of the place all got together and had sex with each other until awesome things like pizza and Brazilian bikinis were born. Women don’t mix well with others. They cling to their catty friends in little clumps and give all new comers the stink-eye. Little girls ostracize other little girls into committing suicide. That’s un-American.
If it were up to women, free speech would have its dick cut off and shoved into it’s ear holes. Then the playing field would be even and capitalism would die a slow, retarded death.
Money is how men keep score in the game of life. If you don’t like that, then you can take your vagina back to Venus. Money is manly as shit — literally.
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lets be simple and clear here. 2 percent of men and 100 percent of women are fucking the shit out of each other and the rest of the men are paying their asses of for that shit.if only 1 percent of men stop fucking women all around . the world would be a better place.
Timmy you don’t have to be mean to women they’re my friends. I’m still waiting on that hotel room you booked us for the night you tiger you ;)
Well her husband is probably raping women and teenage iraqi girls at gunpoint so its all balanced.
hahaha your name is grammatically incorrect idiot. you make me cry out of laughter with your dumbass statements. ahhh go kill youre mother for me okay? for birthing such a dumbass and not putting you in “special” classes when she had the chance.
are any of you hillbilly fucks christian because god doesnt exist.. just sayin’. i bet Hitler wouldnt let anyone believe in god.
and i totally hate america haha!
this guy gets me <3
men cant die out. certain countires dont let women fight in the military so they will save the other unfortunate countries who have womens rights. women cant work a computer let alone a jet or a SAM launcher. how could they POSSIBLY kill us all. i could blast my awesome 80′s music out my windows and be perfectly safe. women do not like 80′s music for some odd reason. i know because i live with 3 women and they like mister gaga and faggam lambert
On the Dr.Phil part, what I loved the most was that the idiot, a total fake-ass and mangina, didn’t seem the realize not only women were being made fun of, but also himself and his whole crappy freak-show. And Dr.Phil likes to compare himself to psychiatrists, oh lawdy!
One female (“Fuck You”) is against the entire male species eh? I would seriously like to see how you can possibly “eliminate us males”, bitch.
Quoted : “Get a fucking education”
Why do you need to keep a small amount of us men so that you can re-produce? Don’t you know that you can give birth even without us? Women… females, all alike, pretending to be all smart when in fact they are dumb as fuck.
Now comes the question, why are females not allowed to voice out their opinions in the past, and why no one even bothers after they’ve obtained the rights to speak their mind? Simple, because you females are nothing but “stupid” creatures. In the next century or so when our society has reached its apex, trust me, women rights will be abolished and I would gladly welcome a new regime where women will be nothing more but a men’s “personal tool”.
O ya, and I hope that you don’t get yourself killed when triggering a gun bitch.
Have a nice day.
stupid? really? lol your a funny guy…Being a man doesnt make you smart–I hope your aware of this. Your ego is so big, males like yourself support male supremacy mostly because deep in your subconcious you NEED to self adequate and in control. Therefore you use your gender, race or sexual orientation as a means to oppress others and feel such “superiority.” Yes it is true males and females think differently in terms of neurological function (I KNOW this because I STUDY NEUROLOGY). The male brain is wired in a way that gives them an “edge” in math skills and etc while females have an edge in language and etc. HOWEVER this “edge” doesn’t mean the male cant exel in language or a female cant exel in math! The environment in which you are raised plays in with your genetics…To be perfectly honest, you cant say females are better or males are better. However, I will say females are more valuable than males…why? scientifically speaking one female spends 9 months pregnant and time after nurturing the infant. Males? well they are good for a quick 2 min fuck—thats ALL that is needed from you, with all your free time from raising children you have the DUTY to protect society by providing for females and your offspring—-honestly now that girls can do this for themselves now, your not that necessary. UNFORTUNATELY this true will never sink into your stubborn thick skull because your naive and UNEDUCATED. Like I said I love men, but I hate BOYS like yourself…
shut up you cunt with eggs
Do you know what the function that allows woman to micro manage better than men is? I have studied allot of psychology that covers a lot of neurology but i have forgotten.
Nagging.
No thats the part that stops men decaying on a couch until the TV breaks.
“Simple, because you females are nothing but “stupid” creatures.”
MenAreBornedToRule
Borned
This is why i stay on this SATIRE site, because people like you are funny as hell.
Sounds like “Fuck you” has a few issues with men. (See her monolog below). If the world is a messed-up as she claims, I suggest she turn the 12 gauge on herself, cause ain’t no way I am ever going to bow down to no bitch!
Yeah and it sounds like every guy on this site has alot of issues with women…whats your point?? Honestly I think you guys EARNED your animosity from this woman.
We didn’t ask that stupid cunt to come onto this site and spew her hate. This is a site for men, not man-hating psycho bitches.
☠☠☠☠☠DEATH TO WOMEN SUFFAGE☠☠☠☠
AND DEATH TO WOMENS RIGHTS
[b] REAL MEN DONT ARUGUE WITH CUNT INSECTS [/b]
God is a man
Christ was a man
Caesar was a man
Adolf Hilter was a man
Women are just bugs
Real men don’t argue with insects.
god and christ–fiction, Hitler-psychopath, Caesar-power hungry….Get the picture?
alyssa-cunt…got it.
You fucking piece of shit! Yeah I’m a fuckin’ feminist! Yeah, I hate men with every fiber of my being and, were I to rule the “man made world” I would have 99% of you useless, obsolete motherfuckers exterminated like the roaches you are! You are the absolute definition of human garbage! That’s right you dumb, inbred filth I’m talking about gendercide! HOW DOES IT FEEL? COCK SUCKER! SO FUCK YEAH IM A CUNT BITCH! Abort male babies. Keep only a scarce few only to further the female gender! COME FIND ME AND FUCKING TRY SOMETHING! BELIEVE I WILL SPRAY YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ILL DEVELOPED BRAINS ON THE GOD DAMNED PAVEMENT! If men built this world, and everything is owned by men…… I SAY BULLDOZE IT ALL TO THE GROUND! FOR ITS ALL AS USELESS AS MEN! Women are bitches because we have been mashed under man’s thumb for ages. Now we’re fighting back. AND YOURE ALL PISSED LIKE SIX YEAR OLD CUM STAINS. You worthless wad of jizm! KILL YOURSELF! You wanna spew your vile filth about us on this COCKSUCKING FAG WEBSITE! And then question us on our anger. YOU WILL CHOKE ON THE BARREL OF MY 12 GAUGE! You won’t have much bullshit to talk when fragments of your skull are found in your neighbor’s yard across the street! MEN’S ERA HAS COME TO AN END! Mustard gas, Hydrochloric acid, Automatic assault rifles, Claymore mines etc. All inventions and discoveries of men. IN MY CONTROL, THEY WILL BE USED TO DESTROY MEN! And hey Einstein! Why the FUCK have women not made any great advances that would benefit the human species! BECAUSE UP UNTIL THE LAST CENTURY WE HAD NO VOICE. YOU COLON POLLYPS NEVER GAVE US A FUCKING CHANCE! WHILE GROTESQUELY HIDEOUS MEN HAVE HAD FOUR MOTHERFUCKING MILLENIA TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER! So you can choke down your mom’s boyfriend’s greasy fucking nut sack! I hope they never find a cure for prostate cancer! I think the cancer’s a great biological development! A few million of you NEED to be killed off! COME NEAR ME AND I’LL SHOOT YOUR FUCKING COCK OFF! So fuck your gods, fuck your sports, and fuck your brotherhood. ALL MEN WILL FALL TO THEIR KNEES IN SUBMISSION BEFOR E WOMEN! MEN WILL WORSHIP US AS GODS!!!!!! TAKE YOUR FAKE ASS MANLINESS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKHOLE! Get a fucking education and learn how to spell before you decide to vomit all over the internet! Come at me and I’ll take your god damned life away! Buncha cross dressing queeny bitches! I’ll disembowel you with fucking pitchfork and stuff you in a back alley dumpster with your own cock in your mouth!
You settle down now u ugly vagina insect
NO female supremacy NO male supremacy, we are different but equal….this hate needs to end.
Stupid cunt.
Once again you are so right on Dick! I especially like the Lottery Mentality. All the bitches I know are exactly that way–useless cunt parasites waiting for their ship to come in.
GAY & BISEXUAL WOMAN HATERS HATE THE WHOLE WORLD
& THE WOMEN THAT BIRTHED THEM.THEY ONLY LOVE THEIR
ASSES BEING GRABBED & POKED BY OTHER SICK WOMAN
HATING MALES WITH PLENTY OF CRACK TO STACK!
Go get raped you dumb cunt.
To all regular posters – sorry for my absence, I’m back now.
@Arouet
You asked me to post my thoughts on the ‘women’s movement’; if it has achieved anything of benefit and if it was a legitimate movement.
The task has proved to be ASTOUNDINGLY frustrating; I just felt that I was unable to really capture and express the quintessential flaws in its ethos.
I was unsatisfied with my every attempt that I made in trying to define what my mind was so easily able to intuit – until now.
I have found an essay, a marvellous piece of pros, which eloquently expresses what I was unable to write.
Please read it and tell me what you think.
http://infomotions.com/etexts/gutenberg/dirs/etext04/wsuff10.htm
need to piss now
step right up,
need of a bowl.
only one at a time now!
(you think your response will matter? hopefully it will only go unread)
Yes. Really did metaphorically take a load off with that.
Thank your lucky stars.
*steps right up*
(7 myths about women) Hey! you wrote it twice.
Well look I know alot of girls who work hard, but If she doesn’t it’s because of that particular girls personality, y’know?
I also knew a girl who took credit for six day’s hard labor, performed by five Marines, and claimed she did it in four. She got promoted, and became our boss.
Now, she’s in a position where she can’t fuck and lie her way any higher, and she doesn’t know what the fuck to do.
Wow, she’s so right! (look down)