Women Hate America.
If you’ve been watching the Dr. Phil “House of Judgment”, you may have noticed that the first problem Dr. Phil has with my views is that I have a book to sell. Well it’s true, fellows and gentlemen, I am a filthy capitalist. I am a low-down, dirty capitalist who is out to make money by providing you with something that is both manlightening and hilarious for a nominal cost.
And unlike women in the army, this is comedy you can choose whether or not you want to pay for.
How dare I.
I would also like to note that my book is worth its weight in gold. It will teach you how to shut women the fuck up. Silence is golden.
Let’s talk about capitalism. You may already be familiar with it as the thing that brought you everything you know. Imagine Santa Claus with a school bus full of girls gone wild on his back, a Super Soaker full of gin in his hand, and a Viagra-induced boner that could win a home-run derby in the other. That’s capitalism.
Women hate capitalism.
Men love capitalism. We spend money on things we love, and when we’re out of money, we go get jobs we love to make more money to buy more awesome things. To men, capitalism is like jerking ourselves off twice at the same time. It’s a religious experience.
Women buy things they think they need, but don’t. And when they’re out of money, they have to do something they hate to get more of it: fuck. That’s why women hate capitalism. All roads lead to Rome; and all purchases lead to a woman getting on her back.
It was no surprise to me that on a show geared toward women, the biggest alleged “flaw” in my views was that people are willing to pay to hear them. That’s like calling Penicillin a “quack remedy” because it doesn’t grow on the sides of rocks. Just because it’s got a price tag, doesn’t mean it won’t cure your syphilis.
Manpitalism
Women hate success through hard work. They hate rewards for good behavior because it means none of them will ever get anything for free again. And they hate heaps of money falling on men with bright ideas because it means they have to recognize a bright idea in the first place in order to fuck themselves a place in line.
According to women, anyone who lifts a finger to help themselves should get a kick in the teeth and a placard that says, “Congratulations! You just adopted a thousand starving kids somewhere feminism doesn’t give a fuck about — or is there some other reason feminism launches bullshit ad campaigns promoting girls in science when little girls halfway around the world don’t have enough water to live?”
Maybe feminism just doesn’t care about black people.
Opportunity Cost
The more money you spend on the things you like, the less opportunity you have to give your money to women.
Economics — and capitalism — is founded on opportunity cost. I know there are a lot of young men reading this, so I’m going to give you a one sentence primer on money management that could very well save your life.
Everything costs something.
That smart girl with the big jugs in your chemistry class? She costs something. In fact, she costs about one zero more than the flatter girl on her right. Who gives a fuck how smart either of them are? That’s called an opportunity cost.
Women never have to sacrifice anything to get what they want. They just change what they want. If a woman is fat, she wraps velor around her love handles and marries poor. If she’s obnoxious, she becomes a lesbian or gets really into wine. Either way, women work in reverse. They don’t run the race, they just draw the finish line wherever God dropped them.
Take a reasonably hot woman to a bar and see how long she’ll go thirsty because a guy won’t buy her a drink. Fuck, light her on fire. She’ll burn to death before dropping six bucks on a glass of Chardonnay. Women consider any market driven exchange to be unsavory and beneath them.
Capitalism is why women hate strippers.
Lawn Darts
Women are like lawn darts. All the good ones were made in the 50’s.
To a woman, accepting capitalism means accepting that her self-worth as a whore follows the trajectory of a lawn dart. It starts in your hand, high in worth and full of potential. Then you chuck it in the air. Halfway through, everything becomes dizzy and confusing. Panic follows, and as the dart comes hurtling downward, responsibly is abandoned in the name of self-ass-preservation. Who knows where this thing is going to end up, but one thing is certain, someone is going to have to pay when it goes through the hood of your neighbor’s car. That someone will probably be you.
That’s called divorce.
No matter who they are or what they do, women always have the opportunity to whip out their vagina and rake in a quick Divorce Pay Day. That’s what it is to be a woman. Duplicity is your Plan B. Capitalism is a reminder of how much that Plan B is worth.
The Lottery Mentality
The reason women embrace marriage and alimony as if they were life rafts of shit, is because women live by the Lottery Mentality. No woman can achieve through brains and brawn. Those are manly things. Women need to win the lottery; a lottery like a rich internet mogul who mistook her insecurity for shyness and friendship while in college, or a TV producer who was coincidentally left by his wife the same day the lottery winning starlet landing on his casting couch.
Ka-ching!
Women cruise through life waiting for their ship to come in, and they hate anyone who doesn’t see life through the same set of opaque Chanel glasses. However, the lottery is not a form of commerce. It’s a commerce for idiots. The lottery is Sarah Jessica Parker to capitalism’s Nicolas Cage.
Women Hate America
Women hate everything that makes America great.
America was once called the “Great Melting Pot”, because a bunch of cultures from all of the place all got together and had sex with each other until awesome things like pizza and Brazilian bikinis were born. Women don’t mix well with others. They cling to their catty friends in little clumps and give all new comers the stink-eye. Little girls ostracize other little girls into committing suicide. That’s un-American.
If it were up to women, free speech would have its dick cut off and shoved into it’s ear holes. Then the playing field would be even and capitalism would die a slow, retarded death.
Money is how men keep score in the game of life. If you don’t like that, then you can take your vagina back to Venus. Money is manly as shit — literally.
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Still fucking funny (pun definitely intended)
And he wasn’t hurting anyone. Leave the poor man alone.
He couldv’e tried to sell his kids for set of golf clubs (female for wedding dress), like someone I heard of.
*D3C*
OK I will reply to this in a humourous and a serious way, so theres no excuses for you to misunderstand, Clair. First for the humour.
He has discovered that inanimate objects (such as bicycles) posess more sexual prowess than women. I wouldn’t call that dumb. Now for the serious response.
Bit low Clair. He is obviously mentally challenged, living in a hostel and whatnot. You really are running out of ideas aren’t you?
*D3C*
The Dingo girl? Is that supposed to be an insult? Pretty lame.
Billy I’d leave the dingo girl alone.
Place your bets then, buddy
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm
And you call women dumb
Ahhh, you don’t know her like a lot of us do. And I’d also wager you are a woman, under a man-guise. Its been done before and it isn’t that deceiving.
*D3C*
Imagine the nightmare of dating someone who thinks that they are equal to men? Someone who have dreams that extend to outside a kitchen? Someone who have goals in their life, and are not afraid of standing up for themselves? Man, what a nightmare that would be…
You are one of the lucky ones. You could be dating Clair. Imagine that nightmare.
*D3C*
That above statement was directed at Dazza
HA! Aussie bloke?! More like a fucking joke.
…What? I’m Australian, and don’t find Australian women to be different to any other countries women for one reason, THEY’RE ALL DIFFERENT. Personality traits are not based on what country you come from. Ideals and value systems might be, but not whether each and every single one of them is on some form of “high horse”. And I don’t think young women are demons. I’ve spent approximately the last 2 years with an AUSTRALIAN girl, and it has been the funnest years of my life, no signs of demons yet.
You are spot on. It’s both a challenge and a reward to be an Aussie bloke. The challenge is getting the women off their high horse and the reward is knowing they will have the worst mid life crisis out of anyone when they realised they wasted their useful years (up to 23) on being complete demons.
It’s funny to watch.
*D3C*
Yep from what I’ve seen those Aussie girls are bitches.
Everywhere they go they are bitching.
Clair is a fine example as well as Female.
Any photos for the men to ‘jerk off’? hahahha, dont flatter yourself.
And just to drive the point further…. the sources I found were scientific in nature, from experts in the field, with references.
What you googled, and barfed up was crap that “everybody knows”, that claimed to be based on research (from decades ago, but not stated), and that you took to be PROOF.
There is no proof, and the fact that “everyone knows” is just more evidence that people like to grab on to any shite fact that panders to women’s egos.
“alen, I really do hope you did what I did, and just did a quick google search, cause if you actually use this for your only source of info for this topic, I kinda feel sorry for you.”
Either you can’t read, or you’re cherry picking. In either case it completely explains what you’re written before. The consensus from both sources is that THERE IS NO CONSENSUS.
Also the quote you found on the corpus colosum being bigger in males completely works against your argument of women having more bilateral brains (you’d know this if you knew anything about the subject you’re debating)
“Some have found evidence of a sex difference while an almost equal number have not!”
“These 2 studies arrive at opposing conclusions based on their reviews of the same literature!”
“And, as the questions became more carefully phrased, the findings became less and less amenable to simplistic answers”
err knowing..
grammer naxis may get me for that
Great now you’ve spouted off.. We don’t hate women. We just speak the turth that men are better and we also hate that you have to break the rules kniwing that you are not wanted here.