Women Hate America.
If you’ve been watching the Dr. Phil “House of Judgment”, you may have noticed that the first problem Dr. Phil has with my views is that I have a book to sell. Well it’s true, fellows and gentlemen, I am a filthy capitalist. I am a low-down, dirty capitalist who is out to make money by providing you with something that is both manlightening and hilarious for a nominal cost.
And unlike women in the army, this is comedy you can choose whether or not you want to pay for.
How dare I.
I would also like to note that my book is worth its weight in gold. It will teach you how to shut women the fuck up. Silence is golden.
Let’s talk about capitalism. You may already be familiar with it as the thing that brought you everything you know. Imagine Santa Claus with a school bus full of girls gone wild on his back, a Super Soaker full of gin in his hand, and a Viagra-induced boner that could win a home-run derby in the other. That’s capitalism.
Women hate capitalism.
Men love capitalism. We spend money on things we love, and when we’re out of money, we go get jobs we love to make more money to buy more awesome things. To men, capitalism is like jerking ourselves off twice at the same time. It’s a religious experience.
Women buy things they think they need, but don’t. And when they’re out of money, they have to do something they hate to get more of it: fuck. That’s why women hate capitalism. All roads lead to Rome; and all purchases lead to a woman getting on her back.
It was no surprise to me that on a show geared toward women, the biggest alleged “flaw” in my views was that people are willing to pay to hear them. That’s like calling Penicillin a “quack remedy” because it doesn’t grow on the sides of rocks. Just because it’s got a price tag, doesn’t mean it won’t cure your syphilis.
Manpitalism
Women hate success through hard work. They hate rewards for good behavior because it means none of them will ever get anything for free again. And they hate heaps of money falling on men with bright ideas because it means they have to recognize a bright idea in the first place in order to fuck themselves a place in line.
According to women, anyone who lifts a finger to help themselves should get a kick in the teeth and a placard that says, “Congratulations! You just adopted a thousand starving kids somewhere feminism doesn’t give a fuck about — or is there some other reason feminism launches bullshit ad campaigns promoting girls in science when little girls halfway around the world don’t have enough water to live?”
Maybe feminism just doesn’t care about black people.
Opportunity Cost
The more money you spend on the things you like, the less opportunity you have to give your money to women.
Economics — and capitalism — is founded on opportunity cost. I know there are a lot of young men reading this, so I’m going to give you a one sentence primer on money management that could very well save your life.
Everything costs something.
That smart girl with the big jugs in your chemistry class? She costs something. In fact, she costs about one zero more than the flatter girl on her right. Who gives a fuck how smart either of them are? That’s called an opportunity cost.
Women never have to sacrifice anything to get what they want. They just change what they want. If a woman is fat, she wraps velor around her love handles and marries poor. If she’s obnoxious, she becomes a lesbian or gets really into wine. Either way, women work in reverse. They don’t run the race, they just draw the finish line wherever God dropped them.
Take a reasonably hot woman to a bar and see how long she’ll go thirsty because a guy won’t buy her a drink. Fuck, light her on fire. She’ll burn to death before dropping six bucks on a glass of Chardonnay. Women consider any market driven exchange to be unsavory and beneath them.
Capitalism is why women hate strippers.
Lawn Darts
Women are like lawn darts. All the good ones were made in the 50’s.
To a woman, accepting capitalism means accepting that her self-worth as a whore follows the trajectory of a lawn dart. It starts in your hand, high in worth and full of potential. Then you chuck it in the air. Halfway through, everything becomes dizzy and confusing. Panic follows, and as the dart comes hurtling downward, responsibly is abandoned in the name of self-ass-preservation. Who knows where this thing is going to end up, but one thing is certain, someone is going to have to pay when it goes through the hood of your neighbor’s car. That someone will probably be you.
That’s called divorce.
No matter who they are or what they do, women always have the opportunity to whip out their vagina and rake in a quick Divorce Pay Day. That’s what it is to be a woman. Duplicity is your Plan B. Capitalism is a reminder of how much that Plan B is worth.
The Lottery Mentality
The reason women embrace marriage and alimony as if they were life rafts of shit, is because women live by the Lottery Mentality. No woman can achieve through brains and brawn. Those are manly things. Women need to win the lottery; a lottery like a rich internet mogul who mistook her insecurity for shyness and friendship while in college, or a TV producer who was coincidentally left by his wife the same day the lottery winning starlet landing on his casting couch.
Ka-ching!
Women cruise through life waiting for their ship to come in, and they hate anyone who doesn’t see life through the same set of opaque Chanel glasses. However, the lottery is not a form of commerce. It’s a commerce for idiots. The lottery is Sarah Jessica Parker to capitalism’s Nicolas Cage.
Women Hate America
Women hate everything that makes America great.
America was once called the “Great Melting Pot”, because a bunch of cultures from all of the place all got together and had sex with each other until awesome things like pizza and Brazilian bikinis were born. Women don’t mix well with others. They cling to their catty friends in little clumps and give all new comers the stink-eye. Little girls ostracize other little girls into committing suicide. That’s un-American.
If it were up to women, free speech would have its dick cut off and shoved into it’s ear holes. Then the playing field would be even and capitalism would die a slow, retarded death.
Money is how men keep score in the game of life. If you don’t like that, then you can take your vagina back to Venus. Money is manly as shit — literally.
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I love that every woman/girl who comments on Dick’s opinions calls him an “idiot” and “fag”, they don’t even come up with an argument that could actually work. And I find it extremely hard to believe, Olivia…, that everything Dick says is too make money, his arguments are all rock solid, and there’s nothing you can say to make it any other way.
Dick, I’m not gay in any way, but I love you! I’ve written essays in our (What it’s called in Sweden) “Society knowledge”, about how amazing capitalism is and it’s the only right way to go, she gives me an A for my grammar, but C for my knowledge about society. Most Swedish people are, unfortunately, lazy bastards that don’t take any chances or risks in life, they live like ants, eat, work, sleep. That’s all they ever do. If you are unemployed here in Sweden, you’re basically making as much money as a hard working carpenter or whatever profession he might have. And you have ONE YEAR to get a new job, so people can sit on their lazy asses for 11 months and then start thinking “I should really get a new job!” And then if they fail, they blame society and rant about how fucking stupid everything is. The more conservative side of the Swedish politics won the election in 2006, by 2 or 3%, they lowered the unemployed bank; as they call it, the union that pays unemployed people for doing nothing. They lowered the money you gained and now when asking around in the country, people have started going socialist again. I FUCKING HATE IT, LAZY ASSHOLES. I hope for both my, and your sake that you have John Mccain for president and not the stupid bitch Hillary or the white-hater, Barack Obama. And for my sake would be because I’m definetly moving to America as soon as I get a chance in life, I’m only 16 years old. God bless America, and god bless republicans and capitalism
Spamming 4 feminism!
PLEASE READ
All the stupidness on this site is enough ,but what caugh my attention is not Dick’s bullshit but the little line at the bottom of every page “Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson is proudly powered by WordPress and hosted at LTTech 1,642,966 Served. ”
I can not believe ,company’s like that whom also powers big name like :Yahoo and CNN ,also powers this idiot .
I will make it a personal business to let them know how about this website ,which calls to violence and hatered ,and everybody that feels like me should do the same .
Yeah, because proof is overrated when you can run your mouth off for the women, right?
A trip to the Massachusetts State House might change your mind. ;)
Seriously, Olivia, you’re right…he IS an idiot. Paranoid too.
They don’t. You just think they do because your brain’s twisted like a soft-baked pretzel.
ever wonder why girls shouldn’t be in charge
Can’t say I don’t agree with her. Get back in the kitchen? How bloody antiquated are you? Dick, there is a greater idiot than you, I’m quoting him right now.
“the smart girl w/ the big jugs in you chemistry class will cost more”
First of all, that would be a fluke of nature in the first place. 2nd of all, only if you marry her. Bras over a ‘D’ are on average $10.00 more than C cup and down.
And why are you being made to buy her GD bras? I am forever mystified by young people who flock like lemmings to again entagle themselves in what should be called ‘the three-legged race’. This is were to low-income kids shack up ‘cus neither can make it on their own. But, it being ‘a man’s world, still’, Mr. gets paid more than Mrs.. Mrs. quits her job for a time, sometimes to have kids. Then it’s bitch, moan, groan whine and complain about every non-debt reducing dime a guy spends.
I heard this kid say to a babysitter once, “it’s not your money, you didn’t earn it, it’s your husband’s.”
Until what passes for government nowadays gets the whole picture, the situ. where the woman is responsible for all the bill management, answering for it, debt and appropriation of resource..I say just stick w/ what works!
Afterall, like you’ve said Dick-women invented the marriage mess for themselves anyways.
You are fooling men here, not woman. It’s funny!
That’s just silly, how could a woman plan an assassination?
Or ‘a woman for being a woman”, but who cares anyway.
I don’t hate America or Americans for the simple reason you can’t hate a mongoloid for being a retard or a women for being a women.
women are not the only ones that hate America.
Others like….
the rest of the world.
Holy crap–a sane post on THIS website. It’s the same thing with feminists, they were hurt by men so they start to hate men. In those cases, I am so fucking happy that guys like Dick are around to put feminists in their place. And I think he is doing it for money, and might be facetious half the time (although what the fuck do I know about him). Point is he may not hate women or be resentful of them like some of the other guys posting here. Here’s to logic (which women are indeed capable of).
CS, you downplay the gravity of her situation. She is a terrorist and can now be tried and convicted at Dick’s discretion. Hell, I’ll bet the manhole used her real name!
Dick, what say you do your part towards eliminating the incarceration gap?
Get back in the kitchen where you belong, Olivia. Make sure that the kitchen door doesn’t hit your vagina on the way out.
Olivia, you are a terrorist. You belong in a prison - let’s see how you hold up there, hardass. Dick has your IP address and, surprisingly enough, he knows enough about computers and networking to report your terrorist activities to your Internet provider.
Let me put it this way:
You’re going to be very, very, very lucky if you can never access the internet from daddy’s computer again. Needless to say, it’s probably going to be far worse than that; your father isn’t going to be the only one seeing your crocodile tears.
Feminism is a state-sponsored terrorist organization.
Fuck you, Olivia.
-Dick