Women Hate America.
If you’ve been watching the Dr. Phil “House of Judgment”, you may have noticed that the first problem Dr. Phil has with my views is that I have a book to sell. Well it’s true, fellows and gentlemen, I am a filthy capitalist. I am a low-down, dirty capitalist who is out to make money by providing you with something that is both manlightening and hilarious for a nominal cost.
And unlike women in the army, this is comedy you can choose whether or not you want to pay for.
How dare I.
I would also like to note that my book is worth its weight in gold. It will teach you how to shut women the fuck up. Silence is golden.
Let’s talk about capitalism. You may already be familiar with it as the thing that brought you everything you know. Imagine Santa Claus with a school bus full of girls gone wild on his back, a Super Soaker full of gin in his hand, and a Viagra-induced boner that could win a home-run derby in the other. That’s capitalism.
Women hate capitalism.
Men love capitalism. We spend money on things we love, and when we’re out of money, we go get jobs we love to make more money to buy more awesome things. To men, capitalism is like jerking ourselves off twice at the same time. It’s a religious experience.
Women buy things they think they need, but don’t. And when they’re out of money, they have to do something they hate to get more of it: fuck. That’s why women hate capitalism. All roads lead to Rome; and all purchases lead to a woman getting on her back.
It was no surprise to me that on a show geared toward women, the biggest alleged “flaw” in my views was that people are willing to pay to hear them. That’s like calling Penicillin a “quack remedy” because it doesn’t grow on the sides of rocks. Just because it’s got a price tag, doesn’t mean it won’t cure your syphilis.
Manpitalism
Women hate success through hard work. They hate rewards for good behavior because it means none of them will ever get anything for free again. And they hate heaps of money falling on men with bright ideas because it means they have to recognize a bright idea in the first place in order to fuck themselves a place in line.
According to women, anyone who lifts a finger to help themselves should get a kick in the teeth and a placard that says, “Congratulations! You just adopted a thousand starving kids somewhere feminism doesn’t give a fuck about — or is there some other reason feminism launches bullshit ad campaigns promoting girls in science when little girls halfway around the world don’t have enough water to live?”
Maybe feminism just doesn’t care about black people.
Opportunity Cost
The more money you spend on the things you like, the less opportunity you have to give your money to women.
Economics — and capitalism — is founded on opportunity cost. I know there are a lot of young men reading this, so I’m going to give you a one sentence primer on money management that could very well save your life.
Everything costs something.
That smart girl with the big jugs in your chemistry class? She costs something. In fact, she costs about one zero more than the flatter girl on her right. Who gives a fuck how smart either of them are? That’s called an opportunity cost.
Women never have to sacrifice anything to get what they want. They just change what they want. If a woman is fat, she wraps velor around her love handles and marries poor. If she’s obnoxious, she becomes a lesbian or gets really into wine. Either way, women work in reverse. They don’t run the race, they just draw the finish line wherever God dropped them.
Take a reasonably hot woman to a bar and see how long she’ll go thirsty because a guy won’t buy her a drink. Fuck, light her on fire. She’ll burn to death before dropping six bucks on a glass of Chardonnay. Women consider any market driven exchange to be unsavory and beneath them.
Capitalism is why women hate strippers.
Lawn Darts
Women are like lawn darts. All the good ones were made in the 50’s.
To a woman, accepting capitalism means accepting that her self-worth as a whore follows the trajectory of a lawn dart. It starts in your hand, high in worth and full of potential. Then you chuck it in the air. Halfway through, everything becomes dizzy and confusing. Panic follows, and as the dart comes hurtling downward, responsibly is abandoned in the name of self-ass-preservation. Who knows where this thing is going to end up, but one thing is certain, someone is going to have to pay when it goes through the hood of your neighbor’s car. That someone will probably be you.
That’s called divorce.
No matter who they are or what they do, women always have the opportunity to whip out their vagina and rake in a quick Divorce Pay Day. That’s what it is to be a woman. Duplicity is your Plan B. Capitalism is a reminder of how much that Plan B is worth.
The Lottery Mentality
The reason women embrace marriage and alimony as if they were life rafts of shit, is because women live by the Lottery Mentality. No woman can achieve through brains and brawn. Those are manly things. Women need to win the lottery; a lottery like a rich internet mogul who mistook her insecurity for shyness and friendship while in college, or a TV producer who was coincidentally left by his wife the same day the lottery winning starlet landing on his casting couch.
Ka-ching!
Women cruise through life waiting for their ship to come in, and they hate anyone who doesn’t see life through the same set of opaque Chanel glasses. However, the lottery is not a form of commerce. It’s a commerce for idiots. The lottery is Sarah Jessica Parker to capitalism’s Nicolas Cage.
Women Hate America
Women hate everything that makes America great.
America was once called the “Great Melting Pot”, because a bunch of cultures from all of the place all got together and had sex with each other until awesome things like pizza and Brazilian bikinis were born. Women don’t mix well with others. They cling to their catty friends in little clumps and give all new comers the stink-eye. Little girls ostracize other little girls into committing suicide. That’s un-American.
If it were up to women, free speech would have its dick cut off and shoved into it’s ear holes. Then the playing field would be even and capitalism would die a slow, retarded death.
Money is how men keep score in the game of life. If you don’t like that, then you can take your vagina back to Venus. Money is manly as shit — literally.
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this guy is really smart i no exatcly wut hes talking about
The manhole thinks she’s contributing, all the while giving a completely undeserved dose of humiliation every walking fuckhole. That’s cute.
I thought the US invaded Iraq the first time to keep oil prices low. The second time, same reason but overlaid with BS about nuclear weapons.
The point of the invasion seems null and avoid, considering current prices for fuel. Waste of fucking money.
hey retard its not just woman who hate america, its also the rest of the world
You are a fucktard. Let’s think about this: co-operation between human beings has NOT been a benefical “evolutionary strategy”? How the fuck do you think human beings are top of the evolutionary ladder in the first place? Their giant tusks and night vision? Ever wonder why we can form languages and talk? Douchebag. How the fuck do you think shit gets made? One dude on a production line making cars by himself, after he’s whipped over and gathered all the steel, and drilled that oil himself, and then drives the cars to their point of sale. Dickhead. The most social and co-operative species (whether insects, birds, whatever) are also the most populous and successful.
Did you know she works in retail? And she thinks that I should somehow feel bad for not buying expensive clothes?
Yeah, I give as much of a shit about what blows out of the fuckbox as much as the next guy, but it is funny. What they say is just boring and pitiful; it’s the way the fuckholes say it - they actually think somebody could fall for their shit twice.
Bitch fight
If you pretty much agree with everything here, then why are you posting? Didn’t you see the “no girls allowed” sign on the door to their little fort?
Oh, and you’re an idiot, male or female.
I hate america. I WIN!
i pretty much find this website the best ever. although i am a woman i pretty much agree with everything on this site. and no i am not a dyke. and dick masterson is the best name in history of life..
Okay: Second point: Why are you angry at women for having a sense of Sisterhood? Why don’t you blame men for not having a sense of brotherhood?
You can shove that logic, every time men get together society and women depicts them as evil. A group of black men is a gang, a group of regular men are faggots, a group of soldiers are only joy killers and so on. It’s not that men don’t have brotherhood it’s that the women and media portray it as the anti-christ.
Third point:Woman are viewed in Media as Sluts for wearing pretty clothes, Ball Breakers for having a little confidence, and Bitches for speaking their mind. Oh dear, we are so honored and supported.
Women are the ones supporting those stereotypes. If anything women now a days see “Bitch” as a honorific term.
The first point I would like to make is that instead of blaming beautiful women for being beautiful, why don’t you blame the ‘male’ professors for not having the honor of he treats his students equally and for being a lusty man?
Second point: Why are you angry at women for having a sense of Sisterhood? Why don’t you blame men for not having a sense of brotherhood?
Third point:Woman are viewed in Media as Sluts for wearing pretty clothes, Ball Breakers for having a little confidence, and Bitches for speaking their mind. Oh dear, we are so honored and supported.
Last point I would like to make is yes, life is easier for women but that’s more from the fact that we can tell the difference between our heads and our asses.
Man is head of family and wife is neck that turns him.
Chinese proverb.
I also want to add that women DO have it easlier than men. Now this can’t easily be scientifically or mathematically proven but is something happening all around us. In school, beautiful or even shapely women always get more help(and faster help) and attention from male professors and male students. Guys who are struggling in the subject have to wait or look elsewhere for help. I kid you not! Women who are ugly still get help from the other women because of the “sisterhood” thing! Now I am not saying women are stupid. I am simply stating a fact and trend and women would flatly deny this unfair advantage! So what if men are horndogs, we men are constantly critizied about this in relationships and media. Women, on the other hand are honored and supported with no bad names just because their gender is female! Society can and will never spend time proving that women do cheat more, women have alot of advantages in relationship, law, etc… so long as feminists kept providing false “evidences” and kept their men shaming tactics going in our society. Men are not respected and everything we men say do not matter.
I love that every woman/girl who comments on Dick’s opinions calls him an “idiot” and “fag”, they don’t even come up with an argument that could actually work. And I find it extremely hard to believe, Olivia…, that everything Dick says is too make money, his arguments are all rock solid, and there’s nothing you can say to make it any other way.
Dick, I’m not gay in any way, but I love you! I’ve written essays in our (What it’s called in Sweden) “Society knowledge”, about how amazing capitalism is and it’s the only right way to go, she gives me an A for my grammar, but C for my knowledge about society. Most Swedish people are, unfortunately, lazy bastards that don’t take any chances or risks in life, they live like ants, eat, work, sleep. That’s all they ever do. If you are unemployed here in Sweden, you’re basically making as much money as a hard working carpenter or whatever profession he might have. And you have ONE YEAR to get a new job, so people can sit on their lazy asses for 11 months and then start thinking “I should really get a new job!” And then if they fail, they blame society and rant about how fucking stupid everything is. The more conservative side of the Swedish politics won the election in 2006, by 2 or 3%, they lowered the unemployed bank; as they call it, the union that pays unemployed people for doing nothing. They lowered the money you gained and now when asking around in the country, people have started going socialist again. I FUCKING HATE IT, LAZY ASSHOLES. I hope for both my, and your sake that you have John Mccain for president and not the stupid bitch Hillary or the white-hater, Barack Obama. And for my sake would be because I’m definetly moving to America as soon as I get a chance in life, I’m only 16 years old. God bless America, and god bless republicans and capitalism
Spamming 4 feminism!
PLEASE READ
All the stupidness on this site is enough ,but what caugh my attention is not Dick’s bullshit but the little line at the bottom of every page “Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson is proudly powered by WordPress and hosted at LTTech 1,642,966 Served. ”
I can not believe ,company’s like that whom also powers big name like :Yahoo and CNN ,also powers this idiot .
I will make it a personal business to let them know how about this website ,which calls to violence and hatered ,and everybody that feels like me should do the same .
Yeah, because proof is overrated when you can run your mouth off for the women, right?
A trip to the Massachusetts State House might change your mind. ;)
Seriously, Olivia, you’re right…he IS an idiot. Paranoid too.
They don’t. You just think they do because your brain’s twisted like a soft-baked pretzel.