Women Hate America.
If you’ve been watching the Dr. Phil “House of Judgment”, you may have noticed that the first problem Dr. Phil has with my views is that I have a book to sell. Well it’s true, fellows and gentlemen, I am a filthy capitalist. I am a low-down, dirty capitalist who is out to make money by providing you with something that is both manlightening and hilarious for a nominal cost.
And unlike women in the army, this is comedy you can choose whether or not you want to pay for.
How dare I.
I would also like to note that my book is worth its weight in gold. It will teach you how to shut women the fuck up. Silence is golden.
Let’s talk about capitalism. You may already be familiar with it as the thing that brought you everything you know. Imagine Santa Claus with a school bus full of girls gone wild on his back, a Super Soaker full of gin in his hand, and a Viagra-induced boner that could win a home-run derby in the other. That’s capitalism.
Women hate capitalism.
Men love capitalism. We spend money on things we love, and when we’re out of money, we go get jobs we love to make more money to buy more awesome things. To men, capitalism is like jerking ourselves off twice at the same time. It’s a religious experience.
Women buy things they think they need, but don’t. And when they’re out of money, they have to do something they hate to get more of it: fuck. That’s why women hate capitalism. All roads lead to Rome; and all purchases lead to a woman getting on her back.
It was no surprise to me that on a show geared toward women, the biggest alleged “flaw” in my views was that people are willing to pay to hear them. That’s like calling Penicillin a “quack remedy” because it doesn’t grow on the sides of rocks. Just because it’s got a price tag, doesn’t mean it won’t cure your syphilis.
Manpitalism
Women hate success through hard work. They hate rewards for good behavior because it means none of them will ever get anything for free again. And they hate heaps of money falling on men with bright ideas because it means they have to recognize a bright idea in the first place in order to fuck themselves a place in line.
According to women, anyone who lifts a finger to help themselves should get a kick in the teeth and a placard that says, “Congratulations! You just adopted a thousand starving kids somewhere feminism doesn’t give a fuck about — or is there some other reason feminism launches bullshit ad campaigns promoting girls in science when little girls halfway around the world don’t have enough water to live?”
Maybe feminism just doesn’t care about black people.
Opportunity Cost
The more money you spend on the things you like, the less opportunity you have to give your money to women.
Economics — and capitalism — is founded on opportunity cost. I know there are a lot of young men reading this, so I’m going to give you a one sentence primer on money management that could very well save your life.
Everything costs something.
That smart girl with the big jugs in your chemistry class? She costs something. In fact, she costs about one zero more than the flatter girl on her right. Who gives a fuck how smart either of them are? That’s called an opportunity cost.
Women never have to sacrifice anything to get what they want. They just change what they want. If a woman is fat, she wraps velor around her love handles and marries poor. If she’s obnoxious, she becomes a lesbian or gets really into wine. Either way, women work in reverse. They don’t run the race, they just draw the finish line wherever God dropped them.
Take a reasonably hot woman to a bar and see how long she’ll go thirsty because a guy won’t buy her a drink. Fuck, light her on fire. She’ll burn to death before dropping six bucks on a glass of Chardonnay. Women consider any market driven exchange to be unsavory and beneath them.
Capitalism is why women hate strippers.
Lawn Darts
Women are like lawn darts. All the good ones were made in the 50’s.
To a woman, accepting capitalism means accepting that her self-worth as a whore follows the trajectory of a lawn dart. It starts in your hand, high in worth and full of potential. Then you chuck it in the air. Halfway through, everything becomes dizzy and confusing. Panic follows, and as the dart comes hurtling downward, responsibly is abandoned in the name of self-ass-preservation. Who knows where this thing is going to end up, but one thing is certain, someone is going to have to pay when it goes through the hood of your neighbor’s car. That someone will probably be you.
That’s called divorce.
No matter who they are or what they do, women always have the opportunity to whip out their vagina and rake in a quick Divorce Pay Day. That’s what it is to be a woman. Duplicity is your Plan B. Capitalism is a reminder of how much that Plan B is worth.
The Lottery Mentality
The reason women embrace marriage and alimony as if they were life rafts of shit, is because women live by the Lottery Mentality. No woman can achieve through brains and brawn. Those are manly things. Women need to win the lottery; a lottery like a rich internet mogul who mistook her insecurity for shyness and friendship while in college, or a TV producer who was coincidentally left by his wife the same day the lottery winning starlet landing on his casting couch.
Ka-ching!
Women cruise through life waiting for their ship to come in, and they hate anyone who doesn’t see life through the same set of opaque Chanel glasses. However, the lottery is not a form of commerce. It’s a commerce for idiots. The lottery is Sarah Jessica Parker to capitalism’s Nicolas Cage.
Women Hate America
Women hate everything that makes America great.
America was once called the “Great Melting Pot”, because a bunch of cultures from all of the place all got together and had sex with each other until awesome things like pizza and Brazilian bikinis were born. Women don’t mix well with others. They cling to their catty friends in little clumps and give all new comers the stink-eye. Little girls ostracize other little girls into committing suicide. That’s un-American.
If it were up to women, free speech would have its dick cut off and shoved into it’s ear holes. Then the playing field would be even and capitalism would die a slow, retarded death.
Money is how men keep score in the game of life. If you don’t like that, then you can take your vagina back to Venus. Money is manly as shit — literally.
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“And unlike women in the army, this is comedy you can choose whether or not you want to pay for.”
haha.
I wonder how many women were involved in pulverizing buildings in 911. If there were any involved, they were certainly clever to leave the dirty work for men.
I’m waiting for a post on how George Bush is a manly man. Please?
i have fuck woman now
Women buy things they think they need, but don’t. And when they’re out of money, they have to do something they hate to get more of it: fuck. That’s why women hate capitalism. All roads lead to Rome; and all purchases lead to a woman getting on her back.
That’s true, we’re so lazy. :p
Women hate success through hard work. They hate rewards for good behavior because it means none of them will ever get anything for free again. And they hate heaps of money falling on men with bright ideas because it means they have to recognize a bright idea in the first place in order to fuck themselves a place in line.
We are so backwards, aren’t we?
According to women, anyone who lifts a finger to help themselves should get a kick in the teeth and a placard that says, “Congratulations! You just adopted a thousand starving kids somewhere feminism doesn’t give a fuck about — or is there some other reason feminism launches bullshit ad campaigns promoting girls in science when little girls halfway around the world don’t have enough water to live?”
That, I agree with. Feminism is pretty effed up, and it seems most feminist movements are only in North America. Instead of promoting science of five year olds (they’re going to learn it anyways, geez), why not concentrate on working with Unicef/United Nations to help people around the world?
You don’t see men going around starting ‘manism’ movements or anything. Start helping yourselves first females, and individually at that.
I glanced at what you wrote
too bad woman can’t help themself.
Too bad, huh. Sorry to make you glance again.
The guy below me makes a good argument, too.
Yap too bad, so you are here to learn something form us?
Dunno, possibly. In this site, does ‘woman’ refer to female adult, or females in general? Just wanna know.
If you wanna learn thats ok but if you wanna prove us wrong then know that many tried that before and none of them had succeded,
What do you maen in the second sentence I dont follow?
Ok suzy can you type faster cos I wanna go soon.
Well, Dick states that women should not read anything on this website, but he never uses the words female or girl. So I assume he means all females when he is saying ‘women/woman’? Which is weird, since he lets women post their replies anyways…
I’m not proving anyone right or wrong, I’m just here for the hell of it. :D
Ok it’s quite simple. This site is for men. The reason?;
The long story short, before the internet we all have lived in the Social Matrix. So a man liveing there was confused because he thaught that he only thinks that way. But after sites have emerged men have discovered that all men think exactly in the same way and the Social Matrix is just fucking everybody up.
Most women don’t know that, so what’s the point for them to post here???
They get it all wrong, come here post insults, pretend to be and post as men and such…
But if there is a woman smart enough to learn that’s ok.
So what do you mean for the hell of it?
I don’t think I’ve insulted anybody on this site. It sort of reminds me of Maddox’s site, which is also very funny.
I’m not pretending to be a man, am I? I bumped into this
site by Google, and I like Dick’s hilarious view on things. And the women who get so mad about one little comment. Suck it up, girls!
Ok I need to go now, but we can continue some other time
If you choose to stay here, keep in mind that some women before you tried to be really nasty bitches so if guys will see you they can take you for one of them, so if they do don’t take it personal and don’t make a mistake of revanging,
Bye,
o.0 ‘Kay, then. I’m not one for revenge, and besides, I don’t think I really come off as a rabid, crazy feminist female dog or anything.
I’m just sharing my views.
Suzy, you are absolutely the most fucking manliest woman here. I love it, that you are a female, and don’t just come here to rabidly overwhelm us with obscenities. And the whole not saying “female” and “girl” thing, I think everything here is meant for underage girls too. Except the whole sex things. El Chauvinisto talked about women going to the toilet in groups. That very often happens with underage girls too.
Also, lesbians are indeed fake like Dick said. I have one site in my country, where people put up their pictures, for their friends and perverts comment on them. Many of my girl classmate’s have posted pictures of them kissing each other. I mean, we men think it’s sexy, and women seem to want to kiss the two girls, but when a man does that to another man, that is totally gay. Also, I have seen alot people against GAY people, just as if gay is only a man loving a man. But people LOVE lesbians. Lesbians are only in for the attention.
Oh, and no. You don’t come off as a rabid, crazy feminist female dog. Not at all. You’re one of the least rabid, crazy feminist bla bla bla’s on the whole site.
Oh, and the fat lady at the Dr. Phil show got owned. I know this is off-topic, but fuck, I’m still laughing. Even though I watched the video half an hour ago. Fmuckin’ cold hard ownage, just like the woman who asked was, only take the word ownage out of it.
Ouch. You’re credibility is looking more and more bleak, Dick.
1. America isn’t capitalist: there is government interference with business. Even though we’re close to being capitalist, our country holds have socialist aspects.
2. The majority of Americans don’t support capitalism as much as they think they do. Many prefer to donate to NON-PROFIT and workers want RIGHTS (yes, even men… the ones who fought for rights before women were even in the workforce). Which brings up another point: in the dark times of the Industrial Revolution, Karl Marx (a man) stood up and suggested communism — which, Dick, if you’re telling us that you’re a man and a capitalist, are you going to tell us that Karl Marx was really a woman? Or are you going to accept the fact that Marx came up with a “bad idea” and that sometimes men aren’t as great as you make them out to be?
The point is, MEN come with all great ideas and visions. For every Adam Smith, there is a Karl Marx. For every Newton, there is a Goethe. They are all MEN, though. Women have evolved not to think beyond a tiny circle of relatives, which is why they are so small-minded and contribute nothing to the wider world.
bitches hate everything , including america.
NO
I am a boring troll, ignore me.
So write where are we comeing form? Let’s see if you know.
Why has she failed to grasp the “women are whores” religion? Does she shave herself?
what is wrong with you really why are you so angry at women just because some women are whores and some of them are doesnt mean that all women are and i will add that some of the points you make i can see where you are coming from but most of them are nothing more but the rants of a pissed off man nothing more
Then you don’t know what whoring is. Comeing to this site you at least have an opportunity to find out.
Shaming tactic: fail. :-)
@MATT –>> ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately, YOU are the exception. Exceptions don’t make the rule. And the existence of exceptions doesn’t invalidate the rule either.
Your husband is your equal? So if you divorce him, he won’t suffer more than you do?
Mom? Is that you!? You whore
I don’t know what you’re talking about but as a woman I work hard for my own money. I work damn hard to feed my kids and help my husband pay the bills.
In fact, I worked damn hard all the way through college and law school to become a successful attorney.
I’ve never used sex to extract money from men. Ever. Period. My husband and I both buy gifts for one another.
You know why you’re able to do what you do? People are looking for a scapegoat for life’s problems. It’s easy to blame one group of people so you don’t actually have to bother yourself with thinking. Hitler did it with the jews, and now you’re trying to blame every problem on women. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
Men like you feel threatened because they no longer have the authority to “shut us up” and dominate us like they did for thousands of years. There are lots of men who’ve realized that this system of domination is wrong and have moved on to treat us like equals.
But then there are men like you who think that just because you have different genitalia that you’re better than women.
Not all women are whores. You can’t take the exception to the rule and apply it to all women.
And I hate to break this to you but women aren’t whores by themselves. They need men to be whores with them as well. It takes two to tango.. or are you too blinded with women hatred to realize this sad truth?
indeed
the fact that Dick took his crude(but freaking funny humor) and extreme truths an had it take him all the way to the bank shows he is not as dumb as you think
he does have a lot of truth in a bunch of his topics, while others like “why women hate sex” i think he did it just to rile ppl up and bring more attention to the site. an going by the 4883 posts on that topic i can say that it is doing just that
i think everyone knows now since woman can be called whores and sluts an its not as bad as it would be during the olden days, giving ladies now free rein to go for their hearts content >,<
America is a great place, only in America could I have the freedom to make such a sappy website.
Oh those tough mean women, how dare they…