The Heart of Darkness Should Have Been Called Golden Girls
This is going to be one of my most controversial articles to date. I say that because I don’t even agree with it. In fact I’m disgusted by it; but that’s the burden of being a man. Even if you don’t agree with the truth or if you’re disgusted by the big fat obligation you have to keep shucking out the dough for, you do it. You do it and you shut your mouth.
Or in some cases you open your mouth in order to speak the truth. And then sometimes your mouth is a metaphor for fingers, which can do writing unless your hands are cuffed behind your back for some reason. In that case, the mouth can still be just a mouth. You understand.
Recently a woman in Philadelphia, America tried to set the new style record for Pulling a Bobbitt. You can read more about it by following the link at the bottom of this article. For those of you unfamiliar with the term I just fabricated, Pulling a Bobbitt, it involves extreme male genital mutilation and should never ever be discussed by anyone ever for any reason.
In fact the only people who do openly talk about it are women who will never be married or have children because they have Erection Killing hardwired into their system like a region encoded DVD player. How’d you like to watch a DVD of Baliwood’s finest? Well I certainly wouldn’t, but I also can’t because my DVD player is set for Region 2. So go fuck yourself, darling.
Monica “The Claw Cow” Randolph is MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month for the month of May.
I know what you’re thinking.
“Has Dick lost his fucking man-mind!? There’s no way that crazy bitch should be given the highest accolade this site has to offer! What the fuck!”
What the fuck indeed. I only have one thing to say in my defense. Does this raving and vindictive banshee not embody everything that is woman?
Let’s look beyond the female hysteria for a moment — and also the “charges” of domestic assault, battery, rape, and I guess the illegal super-adhesive glue from the future that kept her feet from walking her ass out the door before resorting to such grotesqueries. Let’s look at what makes a woman.
A woman is a collection of mindless impulses and instincts. That’s why they don’t ever know what the fuck they’re doing. They just can’t understand. God, or chance, or your subconscious — or whatever the fuck you believe in didn’t give women the powers of logic and brains like He/It/You did to us men. He gave them only a foul instinct of mistrust and a temper like a possibly broken firework. Is it going to blow at any second now? Absolutely no one fucking knows, but if you want to find out, I suggest bringing a big stick.
Being a man means being true to yourself. That’s called integrity. Men have the power to adapt themselves sure, but women don’t. That’s why Monica “The Claw Cow” is MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month — because she’s true to her gender. If she were a man, that would be a mark of only the highest integrity.
By the way, the article on Monica below is full of snide, anti-male remarks written (likely) by an unmarried miserable shrew of a woman.
UPDATE
I was so disgusted by the candor of the author in the above story, that I emailed Miss DiFilippo (difilid@phillynews.com) the following:
Dear Miss DiFilippo,
I assume you are a Miss because the kind of male-hatred and general human malice you demonstrated in your attempt at “humor” in the recent article “A Genital Reminder” would certainly disqualify you as a potential mate for any man.
I found the article’s light-hearted nature to be inappropriate at best. Your indifference to a major suffering, not only in one man’s life, but also in the life of a possibly abused and mentally ill woman is alarming, disturbing, and disgusting — especially for a woman who has luckily found herself in the position of a potential role model for any local girls who may have realized that Paris Hilton is a whore.
Frankly, I’m offended. Thankfully, however, I am not surprised as this is exactly the kind of behavior a man is to expect from a woman; a vile, vindictive, sort of un-aimed desperation that cheapens life.
It made me sick,
-Dick Masterson, http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com
I suggest everyone do the same.
UPDATE 5/24/06
The always cordial Miss DiFilippo responded to my email with biting personal criticism!
uh, and i suppose you’re married? i feel sorry for that poor woman …
Dana DiFilippo
Reporter
Philadelphia Daily News
(215) 854-5934
I responded in kind.
You wouldn’t be if you knew how incredible I was in bed. How’s that for a fortune, cookie?
-Dick Masterson
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/monica-randolph-fuck-you/
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May 19th, 2006 at 2:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 19105c7fbb7a4
Reading that article made me feel physically sick.
It made me feel sick on two levels.
First, the nature and malice of that assault was just atrocious and completely unjustified. Just thinking about it makes me wince!
Second, the author of the report [Dana Difilippo] was making light of the whole situation. Stupid penis jokes are not funny Dana, I doubt you would be fucking laughing about it if some guy went and kicked a woman’s vagina to a bloody mess, would you? I might send her an email to let her know what I think of her article, actually…
The whole thing is just sick.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 920fbe879a674
You know what, Enya, I will. Everyone should. I’ll attach an update to the article with the details.
-Dick
May 19th, 2006 at 2:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 19105c7fbb7a4
Please do. I am completely with you on this Dick. Absolutely appalling journalism on Difilippo’s part.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 920fbe879a674
Already done.
-Dick
May 19th, 2006 at 2:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 19105c7fbb7a4
I am sorry Dick but sometimes you make me crack up with laughter (not intentionally making light of the matter here) … it was just when you said this: “especially for a woman who has luckily found herself in the position of a potential role model for any local girls who may have realized that Paris Hilton is a whore.”
Brilliant - that was classic (that made me laugh so much)!
May 19th, 2006 at 4:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Dick, IMO, she should be the Woman of the Month (note the lack of “honorary”) not the “honorary man of the month”.
Secondly, you write “also in the life of a possibly abused and mentally ill woman”.
WTF?
Seriously, (again, totally IMO) this is nutty. The mentally ill part I’ve no problem with; I agree with it. The “possibly abused”? Sure, I know you were trying to hit the journalist hard and make her (?) think about what she’d done, but the whole “abused” schtick is buying into women as victims, women who never have responsibility for their actions line the feminists promote.
The rest of what you’ve written, I agree with. Excellent as (almost) always.
-wolfe
May 19th, 2006 at 5:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 8f5fa079b338a
Sent to Ms. DiFillipo this morning. Don’t read the re-written article if the concept of female genital mutilation described in a light-hearted way bothers you.
——
Dear Ms. DiFillipo:
I was pointed to your article “A Genital Reminder” in yesterday’s Philidelphia Daily News and must admit that I was rather horrified. Mrs. Randolph’s actions were horrific enough, but the tone of your article exacerbated her actions dramatically.
Do you think it appropriate to lead a story about attack and mutiliation with light-hearted remarks about how a couple planned to spend their wedding anniversary?
Do you really think that the sentence, “Talk about a strict violation of the penal code,” is appropriate in a story about assault and mutilation?
Furthermore, while I understand that it’s customary to interview friends and neighbors for reactions, I find it hard to believe that the only reactions you found were sympathetic toward the perpetrator of the crime — in this case, Rochelle Odd. Furthermore, describing Ms. Martin as, “basked in the spring sunshine” adds a general light-heartedness to the tone of the article that is highly inappropriate.
As an exercise, I have re-written your article to reverse the genders and crime slightly. I’m curious whether you find it offensive under those circumstances.
Dakota Smith
——
A GENITAL REMINDER
By Dakota Smith
(With apologies to Dana DiFilippo)
WITH THEIR wedding anniversary less than two weeks away, Jane Smith was thinking romance. She hoped that her husband, John, would take her out for an intimate dinner and maybe an oldies-but-goodies show to celebrate 11 years of matrimony.
But yesterday, her mind was more on divorce and jail for her husband after he almost became Philadelphia’s own Deng Xiaoping.
John Smith didn’t need a surgeon’s scalpel. He took matters into his own hands.
The Nicetown woman said she had been sleeping peacefully in the couple’s bed Tuesday night when her husband pounced on her without warning, grabbed her groin, dug his clean hands into her vagina, and flayed her, leaving her gore-slicked innards dangling out of her body rather than comfortably inside.
“He didn’t use no weapon - this was just sheer brute strength and fingernails. He grabbed me by my [inner labia] and ripped them apart with his bare hands,” Smith said yesterday from her hospital bed at Albert Einstein Medical Center, where she was in stable condition with stitched and bandaged genitals.
Smith, 52, said the 10:30 p.m. attack jolted her agonizingly awake, but her consciousness didn’t faze her single-minded husband, who, she said, continued to yank on her privates.
“He would not let go; I had to hit him to get him off me. My hand’s all swollen from hitting him,” she said, adding that the attack ended only after she fled the house, locked him in and limped to a corner pay phone to call police.
A neighbor who heard the commotion also called police, who took John Smith into custody and charged him with aggravated assault and related offenses.
Talk about being a real pussy.
Jane Smith said her husband tore “out the lips and part of the tunnel away.”
Just the thought triggers most women to become enraged, but Smith said she felt “fine” yesterday thanks to the morphine that doctors administered.
John Smith told arresting officers that he had attacked his wife because she was cheating on him. But his wife denied having any affairs. She remains mystified as to her husband’s motive and demanded that he receive a swift pounding.
She didn’t see the attack coming. She said she went to bed about 8 p.m. and hadn’t argued with her husband.
“He’ll probably blame his mental illness,” she said. “He’s bipolar, and he doesn’t take his meds.”
But she says this is the third time he’s physically assaulted her, and she’s had enough. In 2003, he threw a metal chair at her while she was recovering from heart surgery, she said.
The couple met 13 years ago in Mount Airy, she said. They have no children together, although she has three grown children from a previous marriage.
“I used to think the good times outweighed the bad times, but something like this, you can’t get over,” she said. “I’m going to prosecute.”
The attack was harrowing for Smith, she said, even though she’s witnessed the worst in people as a Vietnam vet.
“Most of us veterans just want some peace in our lives,” she said, adding that she served a year in Vietnam as an Army nurse at a M.A.S.H. unit and remains on disability with post-traumatic stress disorder.
She hopes for a speedy recovery. Doctors told her she should regain full use of her genitals but could contract an infection from germs on her husband’s fingernails, she said.
“It was an act of cowardice. I could see if it was done to a whore, but not a wife who was just trying to get some sleep,” she said. “I’m just stunned. Of all people, why would a man do this to his wife?”
News of the genital mangling aroused a mixture of horrified gasps and guilty giggles in the Randolphs’ neighborhood, where few knew the couple who had moved into the brick rowhouse on Pulaski Avenue near Bouvier Street in April.
Meanwhile, neighbors were left to speculate on explanations for the attack.
“He got to be crazy,” said Dan Martin, 18, who basked in the spring sunshine on friend Richard Odd’s porch steps.
Odd, 21, agreed: “That man was crazy, but I’m on his side. I don’t think no gal deserves to have her pussy ripped up. But he’s got to be deep in love - that’s what would make a man do this. If they was together all those years and she cheated on him, he wanted her to feel what he was feeling. There’s a lesson to be learned here: Don’t cheat on your man.”
Deng Xiaoping, a political leader in China, gained international notoriety for among other things advocating institutionalized female genital mutilation.
He claimed that it was a valid means of discouraging overpopulation. He went on to serve as de-facto leader of the People’s Republic of China.
Doctors occasionally found women’s vivisected vaginas and reattached them. Some such women went on to careers in prostitution.
May 19th, 2006 at 5:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 794fefffe1145
Do you just hate when women come onside ?
May 19th, 2006 at 7:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 28c3699d4e415
It goes to say that some women are crazy bitches, and others aren’t. I’m with you on this one, Dick.
May 19th, 2006 at 9:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 920fbe879a674
wolfe, I see your points. However, I believe I have always said exactly that. That women should not be held accountable for their actions in the same way men should because they do not have the same resources available to decide to commit those actions.
No responsibility is absolutely different. This situation is egregiously different.
Also, the woman may have been abused. The accusations exist. It’s possible that it happened. It is no excuse for anything. Nor should it get her out of a swift and horrible punishment for what she’s done, but it can stand on its own. And on its own, it only makes the entire spectacle more tragic. Victims of adult abuse were more than likely abused in some way as children. It’s a horrible cycle that I don’t appreciate small-town journalists mocking.
-Dick
May 19th, 2006 at 11:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 19105c7fbb7a4
Why would you hate it when women come onside, Christian?
Do you not agree that this woman’s journalism and professionalism is appalling and insulting in this situation?
Do you actually have something to say about the real issue in question, or are you just here to quibble over what I say?
May 19th, 2006 at 11:42 am - IP Man-Hash: b39671b23df39
If you do, email her. Just copy and paste what I sent her.
-Dick
May 19th, 2006 at 11:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 19105c7fbb7a4
Good job, Dakota.
I wanted to add a comment that a gentleman named Brian Gillin posted on the comments section of the article, which I thought summed up our complaints perfectly.
I would be interested to know if Dana DiFilippo actually does answer any complaints. I’m guessing you will keep us all posted on that Dick?
May 19th, 2006 at 11:57 am - IP Man-Hash: b39671b23df39
I sure will.
-Dick
May 19th, 2006 at 12:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
And I too have said much the same recently. The rest… you raise some valid points and, as always, defend your position cogently. I’m not sure I agree, but it would be a very boring world if we always agreed. Certainly making light of abuse (which you argue the journalist potentially did) is exactly what you describe: a horrible cycle that no one should mock.
Dakota: well said, though gruesome.
Enya: You spotted a good comment.
-wolfe
May 20th, 2006 at 7:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 367ecb29a8920
Besides the writing style of that poor excuse for a journalist, I was also appaled by the idiot female, Rochelle Odd, that was interviewed.
“That woman was crazy, but I’m on her side. I don’t think no guy deserves to have his balls ripped off. But she’s got to be deep in love - that’s what would make a woman do this. If they was together all those years and he cheated on her, she wanted him to feel what she was feeling. There’s a lesson to be learned here: Don’t cheat on your woman.”
If cheating on your wife is justification for a man having his genitals mutilated, then what if a woman cheated, had a child for her lover and then prentend that the kid is her husband’s? According to Ms. Odd’s logic (or lack thereof, with her being a female and all) what should husbands do to women like that?
I guess the bitch would suggest somehow that it is the man’s fault, and that he deserves it, or some other selfish feminazish bullshit to try and justify a woman doing wrong, washing her hands of responsibility for her actions and then putting the blame on men.
Damn women; you cant live with them, but you cant live without pussy.
May 20th, 2006 at 2:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: f82132372282f
Why don’t you guys just comment on it so everyone can read how vile of a women this person is.
Anyway the article is not complete. The guy is said he is always in bed around 8o’clock. I don’t think he is the cheating type.
I read this article a few days ago from here:
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=local&id=4183089
May 20th, 2006 at 2:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: f82132372282f
I just realised something. In the original article they kept his anonymity and only showed his first name. In the one pointed above they give his full name. Aren’t they any laws to protect his identity?