For men, something like herpes spells death for a thriving sex life. It spells it with three letters: S, T, and D.

Guess what venereal disease spells for women. G-O, go. As in go out and party, go hook up with a bunch of guys, and especially go have as much fun as you want, you promiscuous little whore.

Did you know 50% of sexually active women have chlamydia? That’s absolutely true. It’s also staggering! It means the chance a woman you’re about to have sex with has of being lousy with venereal disease is governed by a coin toss! Heads or tails; you’re fucked either way.

How could that possibly be?

It’s because women don’t go to the doctor like they’re supposed to. Note how I said, “like they’re supposed to”. Women are the first ones to bitch about doctors and going to them, but they do it completely wrong and waste medical professionals time like it’s going out of style. Got a cold? Go to the doctor. Scratchy throat? Go to the doctor. That is par excellence a stupid and womanly way to act.

See, we men are in tune with our bodies like the high performance machines that they are — whether they’re built for speed or for leisure. We know when and when not to go to a doctor just like we know when to and not to do everything else. A cold is a cold. It works itself out in a matter of days. A scratchy throat is a almost a blessing in disguise because it means we don’t have to pretend to be interested in series of stupid conversations. If we’re fat, we don’t need a doctor to tell us that. See what I mean?

We also don’t throw little litigious hissy fits when a doctor tells us we’re fucking fat. That’s because men know words are words and have exact meanings used to convey ideas, and that ideas should never be punished. That’s known as fascism and it’s something women wallow in like a tub of overpriced moisturizer.

All women should get themselves tested for chlamydia regularly. After all, there’s a 50/50 chance each one has it. 50 fucking 50. How can you argue with that?

Think about it like this. How many men bring condoms out to the clubs every weekend when there’s way less of a 50% chance of them getting laid (even if she is ripe with disease)? A lot. In fact most. That’s the difference between men and women right there. Men play the numbers and thereby play it as safe as is prudent, whereas women just wander through life with their fingers crossed and their eyes shut, thinking that as long as they can’t see the chlamydia the chlamydia can’t see them.

Fucking lame.

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This entry was posted under Doings and Dealings.