Female Mosquitoes and Female Women are the Same
Did you know only female mosquitoes suck your blood? That’s right. Mansquitoes don’t do shit but relax at home I guess — whatever a mosquito would do if it wasn’t being an asshole.
One, two, three and that’s it. With that last item I now have three reasons why women are the same as mosquitoes. That means I can write about it.
Women and mosquitoes both:
1. Suck your blood.
2. Hate “bananas”.
3. Never stop buzzing in your fucking ears.
I’m so confident in my man-race I didn’t even look up the fact that only female mosquitoes suck your blood. A man told it to me. I assume it’s true.
That’s how confident in men I am. I’m just putting it out there as a fact like that because there is absolutely no chance in hell that a man would be wrong about something like that. It’s science and it’s a fact. As far as men are concerned, that’s like having two dead-bolts on a bowling ball. The fucking thing is secure.
Women on the other hand — actually, now that I think about it a woman told me mosquitoes hate bananas. She was a married woman, meaning she’s smarter than women of the single, unmarriable variety, but she was a woman nonetheless. It was probably bullshit.
A simple check of the manternet confirms my suspicions. Mosquitoes indeed do not give a shit about bananas. Why am I not surprised.
It’s because women spread bad advice like they’re playing a life-long game of freeze tag.
“I have a problem,” says a man. “I have something to say that has nothing to do with your problem except probably to exacerbate it,’ says a woman, ‘which I don’t even understand because we women don’t learn words over three syllables. Want to know how I feel about that?”
No I do fucking not.
Gender across species is transcendental. Women mosquitoes suck blood; women human beings suck your dreams and your life right out of your neck. Man essence is easier to get at and more fun somewhere else, but women don’t go down for either of those: easy or fun. They only go down for money. Otherwise, everything’s got to be the hard way all the damn time. Being around women is like watching a broken Rudy DVD that skips and stalls before anything pays off. It’s just a bunch of work.
Someone pass the citron.
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June 2nd, 2006 at 4:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 8f5fa079b338a
Damn, I just checked Wikipedia and you’re absolutely right, Dick:
“Mosquitos are principally nectar feeders with only the females requiring a meal of blood.”
Damn. So if we want to rid the world of a distracting, painful pest that can also be a carrier of disease, we need do only one thing: eradicate the females, or at least reduce their numbers dramatically.
Hm … I envision laboratory projects to produce a strain of that will produce female offspring one time in a thousand, then releasing that strain into the wild …
June 2nd, 2006 at 4:51 am - IP Man-Hash: d5c40ac258d40
Jesus,man,what kinda women do you know?Loads of the guys from where I’m from drop outta school cos they can’t hack it,they’re the ones who cant say words over 3 syllables!!!!!!!!!!!!
And tell me how,exactly,do women ’suck out a man’s dreams’?????If a particular woman does that to the man,why dosn’t the man leave the women???(by the way it’s the same vice versa…if not more so)
Come to Ireland…..and then maybe you’ll also see that women don’t hate sex.HA,i dunno where ya got that one Dick!!!!!!!Oh yeah,probably from your past partners.When’s the last time you had sex,Dickieeee?
Oh,and our president is female and smart.Our country is doin fuckin deadly!
Where are you from???America?
June 2nd, 2006 at 6:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 9438f68e1c745
Although to be fair to the female mosquitoes (from what I remember of my biology classes back in the days) they only suck your blood to provide the right nutrients to their offsprings, so it’s technically education, or at least caring for your kids. So in fact, female mosquitoes are superior to female humans (at least going on a certain MABTW person’s recent experiences with his ex). If indeed “human” is the word to use…
I watched the UK version of the Beauty and the Geek lately and was surprised at how incredibly stupid and ignorant the women were. I think my little brother when he was about 5 years old knew more than them, thought faster and more logically, threw less tantrums and of course learnt much quicker. The questions were of course biased towards the women. I.e. a woman would get some incredibly easy question like “name 4 planets in the solar system” (which they still managed to fuck up) whilst the guys were asked to name the celebrity that went on the front page of Vogue or something in October 2000 because she was wearing a low cut green dress (and to his credit, the guy remembered… astonishing).
June 2nd, 2006 at 10:53 am - IP Man-Hash: ed988c4f684e0
It’s definitely a telling point Dick. Strange how the female is the only one that sucks the life out of people in both species.
Strength and Honor
June 2nd, 2006 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6116c6d6ce072
What are your opinions of the Da Vinci Code?