Mother’s Day: Big Whoop
I forgot Mother’s Day again just like I do every year. You know what that makes me? Every mother’s dream.
Mother’s don’t want a bunch of bullshit and spectacle for Mother’s Day. They may want it, but for their own sake you should give them nothing.
A woman expecting a present is like a hydrophobic dog waiting for a reprieve on doggy death row. It’s going to be disappointed.
Mother’s Day was created by Hitler to encourage breeding among the Nazi nation. It was called Muttertag to the Nazis. Technically, you can say a day for mothers, or a “Mother’s Day”, was celebrated as far back as ancient Greece, but you can also go fuck yourself.
Muttertag was first declared official in Germany in 1933. Guess what was happening in Germany in 1933. A bunch of Nazi shit was happening. Nazi shit like das Mutterkreuz, a medal given to women who had cranked out more than eight babies. Goddamn, Germany is so awesome.
Water gives you life too. But you don’t take a day every year and fuck with your vacation plans just to pay homage to water do you? I sure don’t. What about your spleen? Where’s National Spleen Day?
As I see it, I celebrated 1,780 Mother’s Days in advance from the age of 0 to 5, when I had no choice in what unmanly things I was being dressed in and what unmanly things I was being made to do. Did someone make me play with a stuffed unicorn in that time period? I don’t fucking know, I don’t remember. But it’s highly plausible and if it happened, I know exactly who to blame.
Mothers.
You don’t need to get your mother cards and flowers and shit. She already knows you love her. That’s how a vagina works. Once you’ve been in it, you don’t have to do any more work to show you care.
It may seem like women love annual gift giving bonanzas: birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Secretaries Day; but actually they hate them. When women are told they might be getting a gift, their over-stimulated muffin-brains start cranking out the fantasies like they’re bailing water from a rice paper canoe. No matter what they get, it could have been bigger, better, and more expensive.
Am I loved enough if I get a new set of pots and pans? Am I loved enough if I get a week-long trip to a Day Spa? Am I loved enough if ten starving African children had to die to get this to me?
A man would never put his mother through that kind of torture.
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My mother is both that and my best female friend. She was quite touched when I told her that because though my dad has been there from the start as well, mom was the one who wiped the shit off my ass :P
Fucking right on, Dick. Just another great example of how woman are materialistic whores. The fact that you pushed a hard working man out of your vagina who’s going to contribute to society 10 times more then you ever could (besides the fact you pushed a man out of your vagina…) should be a good enough gift to last you the rest of your days.
mother’s day is a total waste of time and moneys.
lol, “moneys”
And they say ALL guys are smart…
Sheesh. XD!
maybe the reason you hate your mom so much is that you’re 40+ years old and still living with her? I imagine it’s tough trying to get by on a Chevron salary and masturbating in your room while you listen to her soap opera’s in the back ground probably gets a little frustrating. Hang in there!
Mhmm, then why are mother’s so important in another article?
I’m sorry for your loss…. Whoever busted your balls.
What about the crazy psycotic moms who kill thier babies , Leave them in dumpsters , Shake them to death. you would NEVER see a dad do that. WHAT ABOUT WOMEN GETTING ABORTIONS ? what about women getting abortions behind mens backs ?
Women make horrible parents. And PLEASE GOD spare me the ” omg its so hard to raise a kid you have no idea what its like ” , the only reason women over exaggerate this claim of raising children , Is becuase they’re mentally unstable psycotic whores who cannot organize anything. women are always late , always complain about everything. Im sick of it
Men are better than women. End of story , Clair go subsrcibe to some brad pitt website or something.
why do women need to be such filthy whores ? with filthy rich bullshit ? Why are you so in love with materialistic things.. YOu said
” Lavish her with attention ”
WHat the fuck is wrong with you cunt ? Shut your stupid fucking mouth.
Maybe you can lavish my cock in your mouth. Men are better than women.
My mom is a total bitch, and I’m glad I found this site as a reason not to celebrate Mother’s Day. Not in the abusive or left-me-alone-to-die sort of way, but in the way where she manipulates you and plays mind games day after day and is so fucking happy with herself and her lonely, animal-obsessed life. Seriously, she is such a cunt. She’s one of those moms that wants to be your friend, mainly because she can’t make friends on her own, and when you grow up, you realize what a fucking infant she is and now that she’s retired all she does is sit around and figure out how to get people to do shit for her. God, I hate her….man, do I feel better now.
This post is kinda stale. Do you think there’s any hope that life has raped this chick’s eye socket yet?
Give it time.
I LOVE THIS SITE.
Seriously. Best thing I’ve seen all day.
You’re being unnecessarily mean. This thing was about Mothers, so I talked about Mothers. When dicko writes something about Fathers like this, then I’ll write the same thing.
You’re the one thats said…
That translates to you believe fathers are better because they set better examples and they are just plain better - cause they are men.
Why would we believe that? that’s absurd
and you only get 2 fathers bitch?
everyone has one father and one mother.There is nothing special about that
Do you believe your mother is better then you father? Honestly? Does anyone here believe that?
Mothers are so special. You can only have one. It’s awful the way you talk about them. And that was an expression dumb ass to highlight that you only get one mother.
Its easy to forget to cherish her and lavish her with the attention and respect she deserves so this day is a good reminder and a chance for those who forget.
a thousand children? now that is just impossible.
Women make terrible example givers.
Men are better than women
A gift though, is just icing on the cake. That’s why I will always get my mother a gift on that day.
Yeah, alot of holidays have become commercialized….if you let them. You should alway be kind and respect your mother, she sacrificed alot of years of her life to raise, care and nurture you. Sometimes though it is easy to over look it, so when there is a special day set aside so that you can’t forget -make the most of it. You don’t have to buy her a gift, just spend time with her or cater to her all day. Mothers are special, a mother can have a thousand children, but those thousand children can only have one mother.
I love my mother. I don’t need one day of the year to do something nice for my mom. And usually, just calling her to let her know her son is still alive is all the gift she needs. Well, that and Biscotti. She loves the hell out of those things and they are cheap.
No offense Savant, and I know that this will not matter to any of you, especially since I am a woman, but I do think it’s important to at least tell our parent’s that we care for them, well, if the parents were the kind to care for you in any case. But really, I take great joy in letting my mother or father know how much I appreciate them, especially if it means taking aside an entire day just for them. They did, after all, put up with us as children.
After all, they take a day to think about us(i.e.birthdays).
Or maybe I’m one of the few who have good parents?
Toby Kieth: How Do You Like Me Now