At any moment, a woman can say something completely stupid about something completely obvious. Women have an infinity of wrong inside them. Much in the same way that a child has an infinity of imagination inside it, or a tube of super glue contains an infinity of practical jokes.

Women contain an Infinity of Wrong.

For example, when told that no one gives a fuck about three fat secretaries bickering over an unloaded printer, a woman might call you rude or a jerk. This is completely stupid and wrong of her — and it is very likely fat of her as well. No one gives a fuck about three fat secretaries. Pretending anyone does is childish and insulting to good stories.

Here’s another example: women are worthless in science.

Women’s involvement in scientific progress has been less than a pittance of shit. If you ever tell an educated woman that, she will comb the depths of her Infinity of Wrong to spout something incredibly stupid.

Women haven’t discovered shit because we were oppressed!

Obviously, the only correct answer a woman can give when told something by a man is “how high”, “how long”, or “how young?” An explanation is like a woman’s Joker. It shouldn’t even be in the deck.

Women wouldn’t know real oppression if it walked up and smacked them on the ass. And that’s exactly what women think oppression is. Women have dreamed up a history in their little heads where women were politely coddled out of the laboratory and into the kitchen and that’s what they call oppression. That’s why they didn’t invent or discover shit; because of rebuke.

Men have been burned alive for science.

The fact is, men have been the real victims of oppression throughout history, not women. Men have been oppressed for their brilliance in math. Men have been punished for their innovations in science. Men have been drowned, stabbed, burned, tortured, and killed just for picking up a piece of chalk instead of a frying pan and a birth control test. Women can all go fuck off.

Hippasus – killed for discovering irrational numbers.
Archimedes – killed for doing math during the Roman invasion.
Giordano Bruno – burned for scientific astronomical heresy.
Galileo – imprisoned for discovering the Earth revolved around the sun.
Alan Turing – murdered for scientific prominence.
Einstein – forced out of Germany for being a smart Jew.

These men gave of their minds not because of fame or glory. They gave because men suffer from a condition that makes us give despite the consequences — despite oppression. This condition is called Competence, and it’s something women wouldn’t know about even if it came with the lowest APR in history. As if any woman knows what an APR is.

Women haven’t succeeded in science not because they’ve been oppressed, but because absolutely any woman in history except the very ugliest of the fugliest could put down her calculator whenever she wanted, pick up her dress, put her back on a mattress, and let oppression roar above her head like the man-train it is.

Women are cheap magicians performing in high school auditoriums with poorly-concealed, vaginal trapdoors always less than a step away. You could give a woman a pony for learning fractions, but the only thing she’s going to learn is how to give a hand job. I’ve probably just “oppressed” a dozen girls out of learning fractions.

Hippasus
Archimedes
Galileo
Giordano Bruno
Alan Turing

This entry was posted under Myths and Lores.