Now You’re Talking Double Team
I was sitting in my favorite chair yesterday evening drinking a glass of Black Label and ruminating on the myths in our society. One struck me as being especially ridiculous.
Marriage.
‘Marriage,’ I scoffed — or at least I’m sure that I did. And any man will do exactly the same if he’s not afraid of having his balls ripped off by someone who has just finished a grueling 20 hour work week. I’m talking about women. Millionaires aren’t in the habbit of ripping balls off when people say the most obvious goddamn thing in the world.
Women do not age discriminate when it comes to their precious 20 hour work weeks either. After all, what does a 40 year old woman need with more “me time” than a 20 year old. It’s not like she’s done anything more with her life than nothing. It’s not like she needs time to think about anything. It’s like giving baseball players with odd numbers more strikes than the ones with evens. You have an 11? You get six strikes. It makes no fucking sense and it would be exactly the way baseball was played if women were in charge.
Women have no sense of hierarchy. They don’t have to work their way up the benefits ladder as we men do. As soon as women are mobile, they’re looking for somewhere to sit down — or lay down. Because they’re whores.
Back to marriage.
Marriage is a waste of money and a ticket to unhappiness and No Sex Town. Here’s another reason why.
No one woman can ever possibly fully please a man. None. Not one. Ever.
In the immortally misquoted words of the Queen of Swine herself, Hillary Rodham Clinton, “It doesn’t take a village to raise a child; it takes a village to keep a husband.”
Women just aren’t up to the three-fold tasks of pleasing a man, intellectually stimulating a man, and giving a man the precious emotional support that he doesn’t need at all and which I just said as a joke.
A classic joke.
Women can’t even do one of those three. Look at the smartest woman on Earth. What’s her name? The girl with the advice column. Dear Abbey? She’s a genius and her column is so boring that I can barely remember who she is and I also don’t read it. And how about pleasing a man? Forget about it. That’s a two woman job at minimum.
You know I’m right too. Last time you were having sex, who were you thinking about?
Exactly. That was practically two women at the same time. And that’s a thousand damn Man Points.
As far as I’m concerned bigamy is the only way to go. Yes, it’s “illegal”. Yes, it’s “frowned upon”. But reread your history books and you’ll be in for a surprise. The men of the past found ways around that shit. I think it’s high time we turn back the clocks.
The sex clocks.
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March 13th, 2007 at 1:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
More unwanted female comments. They rarely make any sense.
This is a perfect example of womenspeak.
March 13th, 2007 at 1:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
It’s womanese.
March 13th, 2007 at 3:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68a9e584afcc
Dan is a twat. And Dick’s views are hardly the minority “here”..
Can you read the site name, fuckwit?
March 13th, 2007 at 6:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
She would have to be able to read first. Period.
March 22nd, 2007 at 3:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
It amazes me as I read more and more of the comments posted to articles here.
A large percentage of women posters flat-out do not understand the point of this site!
I can’t imagine they do anything more than skim Dick’s writing, see what they want to see, then start screaming at the top of their internet lungs about things completely irrelevant.
I can’t say this about all of the women who have posted, but the majority like ‘Female’ and ‘Jess/Dan’ just amaze me with their lack of comprehension.
Though I must admit, it is amusing…
March 22nd, 2007 at 3:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: a41caf4a68abe
Jess is from womensinfidelity.com and Dan is her cuckold husband who defends her honor on internet sites while she chats on the phone to her other man.
March 22nd, 2007 at 3:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
They might as well be the same, then.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:38 am - IP Man-Hash: e41256cdc489a
Alan, why didn’t you just kick her and her son out of your house? You weren’t married, she should have gotten nothing.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 180c0788892e6
Passion without power is doomed.
June 7th, 2007 at 4:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5223cce311c25
Dude, dick never said “every single woman on earth is a prositute”. I believe by implication and observation, the correct answer would be “only 95% of them are”.
June 7th, 2007 at 6:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
100% of women are prostitutes.
-Dick
June 7th, 2007 at 6:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
What about nuns who don’t marry, nor have sex?
June 7th, 2007 at 6:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: e9f290952c13e
They spirit fuck God for free room and board.
June 8th, 2007 at 4:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Right you are, again, Female. Nuns are never forced to join after their parents send them there to cover up the family’s shame because they were pregnant teens carrying an illegitimate child.
June 8th, 2007 at 5:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
diamatik, that stuff you’re smoking must be really powerful, it’s not 1960 anymore.
June 13th, 2007 at 9:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 926a1904cecf2
Never heard that one before.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:09 am - IP Man-Hash: e6eafb393d674
Never got my questioned answered in light of the present year either.
June 14th, 2007 at 4:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
I smoke Benson & Hedges, but when I’m in other countries I smoke Marlboro Lights. I’ve never done weed or any other illegal drug. Any legal drugs I’ve ever taken were either prescribed (and used only for the duration of the prescription) or over the counter (and I didn’t abuse those either).
I did have a drinking problem a few years ago, but I’ve gotten over that. I need to quit smoking though. When I look at the fact that people are disappointed at Barack Obama for his love of nicotine, I get worried about my own political aspirations.
June 14th, 2007 at 8:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 3c8b05bf321cc
@ Diamatik- What do you plan to do in politics? (I’m asking genuinely, I aid in political research at my university and am interested in politics myself.)
June 14th, 2007 at 9:27 am - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Then I hope you’re also interested in cocksucking.
-Dick