One in Three Women is Illiterate
Sometimes the statement men are better than women leaves me wanting a little more in the flavor of substance. It’s not often. Like all men, the shortcomings of women are something I’ve learned to accept and move on. However, occasionally we men need to re-evaluate. We need more than rational hypothesizing and logical conjecture. We need facts for the why’s and how’s.
I pose this as a formal theory. Men are better than women at everything because something like 30% of women are illiterate.
Sounds shocking doesn’t it? But really, when do women need to read? Numbers don’t count as reading, so illiteracy does not impede women from writing checks or measuring all the progress they’re not making while they’re not working out at the gym.
Before I get too ahead of myself let me quote some statistics. UNICEF and UNESCO say that two out of every three illiterates is a woman. They give the world-wide feminine literacy rate in the sixtieth percentile, while the male literacy rate towers above that number at nearly 90%. I think you’ll agree that that’s plenty of numerical majesty to spare.
Initially, when I saw the figures I thought to myself, maybe that’s why women are so shitty at everything. Just like the kid who is really shitty at baseball and then it turns out he just needed some glasses. Maybe women just need to learn how to read.
Then I realized the writing on the walls of every cluster fuck women are about to step into is only metaphorical writing. They also don’t need to be able to read to shut the hell up every once in a while and listen when something other than Oprah or an appliance that resembles Oprah is dispensing sound life advice.
Perhaps instead of Easy Bake Ovens and Barbie Dolls this Christmas, mothers should be buying their daughters Hooked on Phonics.
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Too late.
She looks like Luka’s left buttock though.
My eyes… my eyes… Lord, don’t let anyone click that link of diamatik’s.
-wolfe
heh-
bonbon (bÅ?n’bÅ?n’) n. —> A candy that often has a center of fondant, fruit, or nuts and is coated with chocolate or fondant.
Bonbons + Oprah = women looking like this.
What the hell are bonbons? Everytime they’re mentioned I think of xmas bonbons with the lame jokes inside and miniature plastic toys from China. And those hats.
Your site is perfect, except for this article. 1/3 women are illiterate because in many places in the world, women are simply not educated (as it should be). Worldwide statistics take into account shitholes like Niger and Burkina Faso. Try looking at statistics for North America and Europe and you will find that men are only slightly more literate than women (although literacy rates only take into account “functional literacy” anyway and don’t measure actual reading comprehension).
infogather indeed, so specific is their programming that i expect to one day see, instead of commercials, simple reminders to restock on bon-bons and what time Oprah is on.
- Oldone
There are better men than us? Oh, ok, sure. Jesus. Newton. And Steve Irwin.
Gotcha,
-wolfe
Have you ever noticed the 24 hour a day HSN/QVC networks….all day long…during the working hours, you will never see anything sold other than jewelry, makeup and clothing. Distinctly directed at BonBon eating women sitting on their fat asses with their husband’s credit cards buying shit that is 8 sizes too small for them for they are going to start the “infamous diet”….and look like something other than a human pig again…
Better men than we would deem you verging thereon. Watch your step.
good thing im illiterate, huh?
oprah sucks ass. bc she’s really a man.
Good point, mike. Women are also banned from this site. Technically we wouldn’t say this in front of women or let them read it.
-Dick
Nor would you approach a crowd of men and call them all a bunch of fags.
Actually you probably would, but nothing would happen.
Because men are better than women.
No it’s isn’t inaccurate. And yes women prove how stupid they are when posting here.
No, absolutely not. Women are generally stupid whores. If you haven’t already you will eventually sell your cunt for a price.
Most likely hundreds of times in your life.
Then you’re disagreeing, Addie, you fucking idiot. Men are better than women in all respects. Take your feminist bullshit the fuck off my site.
-Dick
Welcome to the site Addie. It’s unlikely you’ll get a fair hearing for your views here, though you may find much to agree with, much to disagree with, and you may even be entertained.
Thanks for making a pleasant, polite first post. Your stock just went up a couple of points.
-wolfe
Good God, woman! What’s with that unfair slandering? Our women don’t suck at computers (they’ve got better things than computers for that), they’re just clueless in front of one.
Have some respect for goodness’ sake!
I’m not even going to attempt to really jump into the debate here. It’s obvious that you lot are just as pig-headed as I am.
I would like to point out, however, that unlike the majority of feminists here, I agree that men are better than women in some respects. Though the way you generalize all women as total idiots and whores is strikingly inaccurate(though I’m almost certain your aware of that and probably love nothing more than hearing us women prove our stupidity by posting here). After all, aren’t all generalizations incorrect?
Also I’d like to state that not only am I literate(as proven by my message) I am also an avid reader and writer as well as Computer savvy(in reference to your Women Suck at Computers)
However, if you’d like to follow in the footsteps of your Freudian predecessors than be my guest.
Emily, kindly relieve us of your virtual presence.