The Middle East Has Enough Problems As It Is
A women’s group in the Middle East is attempting to piss in the face of God this week by petitioning the king of Saudi Arabia for the driving rights they don’t deserve.
That’s right, the burning bra of feminism has torched itself all the way around the world. Women in Saudi Arabia want to drive.
I am writing this article as an open letter to King Abdullah (the king of Saudi Arabia) in hopes of stopping this catastrofuck of lady locomotion before it explodes all over the Middle East like ten nuclear bombs.
If you support this letter, show King Abdullah by signing below in the comments.
King Abdullah,
My name is Dick Masterson. I am a celebrated Man Coach and author of Men Are Better Than Women, a fine work of non-fiction that you can purchase in your local bookstore as of April 2008, or pre-order today through Amazon.com. It is a book of such masculine profundity that your camels will have goosebumps.
Sir, it has come to my attention that a band of progressive misfits and hooligans are attempting to bamboozle you into giving women the right to drive. Rest assured that your manly instincts in this matter are correct — as were those of your father and his father. Letting women drive is dangerous. It’s dangerous to life, and it’s dangerous to your way of life.
While 10% of Americans may not be able to point to your country on a map, 100% of Americans can point to a country who fucked up by giving women a number of rights they don’t deserve. That country rhymes with and also is “America”.
Driving is not a religious issue, sir. On that and only that do I agree with these groups of swindling activists. However, it is not a social issue as they claim it to be. Letting women on the road is a matter of public safety and national security.
Women on the road are more dangerous than cancer.
No cancer can hit you broadside at 60 miles per hour in a two thousand pound SUV. At least no cancer I’ve heard of, and I watch House MD reruns at least twice a day. I’ve heard of every type of cancer there is.
Just this month, a woman in Chicago killed her four kids by trying to race a train across the tracks. I don’t know if you guys have trains over there, but I hope you do because they’re awesome. They’re also deadly when women are behind the wheel.
Trains are just like divorces. Man always loses.
Women on the road are needless congestion.
Fact. If you allow women to drive, your roads will have ten times the cars on them as they do today. While men are working from 9 to 5, women are driving all over the place: shopping, shopping some more, getting their hair done. Women are so stupid and predictable that I bet they get their hair done over there in the Middle East even though they have to wear burkas at all times. Women are the same all over the globe, Your Majesty: dumb as Sea Monkeys.
The point is, when you let women drive, you’re giving them the power to vote. In this case, they get to “vote” on where they’re going. Voting is a slippery slope, sir, and the last “right” you want to be fucking around with like a hot falafel on Eid. I think you guys have enough problems over there as it is.
You may be familiar with the character Borat. He is an exaggerated personification of Middle Eastern stereotypes as held by the Western World. He’s humorous, and while he may have generated over 260 million dollars worldwide, he is very much a fictional character.
You may also be familiar with the characters of Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinhem. While these “ladies” may seem like overly exaggerated stereotypes of barren and shrewish female horse-pigs, they are in fact real women. These women have been driving their entire lives.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
I read about a television program you guys have called Amsha bint Ammash, where a woman wears a mustache and drives a cab around. Over here, we have a television program called Doogie Howser, where a 16 year-old is a brain surgeon. I think you’ll agree that some things are better left on television.
-Dick Masterson
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
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You are mistaken, furry Ozzy. Not being involved in accidents and being a good driver are not the same.
Women suck at driving.
- Eric Prydz presents Pryda - D.A.M.P.
The Saudi authorities have something a feminist never will - a sense of humor. When all is said and done, that statement rings far more true than any of the claims of patriarchal oppression of womyn. And, undoubtedly, a screaming bitch-wife who watched a little too much television, upon which it occurs to her that a moving vehicle would be the perfect place to recant the pain of childbirth and the plight of PMS, probably would rank in the chief causes of accidents within the region.
At least they don’t have to worry about swinishly drunken whores slamming their cars into a mosque. And, I dunno, it may raise a little bit of tension when it is discovered that they were returning back to their hubbies to froth -from- a ladie’s night of free drinks and then some in the local klub.
If there’s one thing femmes are good at, it’s knowing when to gnash their horse teeth. It’s the shutting up part that they are still working on. I mean, sure it’s kinda wacky and crazy when a known slut can get an entire college team convicted, but in the end someone has to suffer the punishment for disobedience and stupidity of the cunt. Womyn’s privileges are the proclamation of male inferiority - even if they are too stupid to build their own culture and society. They did have only 200,000 years, you know - it was quite a rush, almost as if it never even happened.
Wouldn’t it be great if we tossed out anything that didn’t suit the feminist view, save all those nice Walmarts and all the things built by men.
This of course does not explain crashes that occur nowhere near shops, nor accidents that occur when women are not even in vehicles. However, rest assured, the latter can still be blamed on women. If women weren’t walking on the footpath fully clothed head to toe, then the man wouldn’t have been so distracted by her physical beauty and smashed the car.
Thank Allah, women are still at fault!
Female’s argument: Driving habits in Saudi Arabia are bad, so let’s make them worse. Who gives a fuck about culture and tradition, feminists menstruate all over that shit already. If it doesn’t serve womyn or perceive little slack-jawed schoolgirls as superior to men in every conceivable way, out it goes. We can’t have our flip-flop clad sluts denied their right to bounce about shoving their titties around and accusing random men of sex crimes -as a suitable and reasonable punishment for daring to look at their cleavage a second too long AND not being in their appropriate sellout crowd- now, can we?
We’re not talking about abortion, Doubt, can you face that reality? Did you even realise the reality of this thread? I don’t think so.
Signed. I’d like to see the number of Walmarts and strip-malls per capita in Saudi Arabia. The place has enough trouble as it is - the last thing we need is a group of feminist hog-bellies gnashing about how the abortion of male fetuses should be mandatory. Men are better than women.
Female, your insolence serves only as a reminder that girls are never able to face reality.
An elementary search with google reveals that the largest number of car accidents per capita in the world occur in Saudi Arabia. Who woulda thunk it?
The Saudi Kingdom decrees this is the fault of women who yell at men to suddenly stop when they see a dress in a shop window. Awww, of course.
Such genius.
I’d like to know the number of car crashes in Saudi Arabia, where if only males can drive, then we will have a great indication of exactly how bad men are at it. Let’s compare this no doubt massive figure with the number of accidents committed by female drivers in another country with a similar number of residents.
Actually, let’s not bother, we don’t need math to tell us that men are better than women at being worse drivers.
Indeed, signed.
Signed XD
Consider it signed, sir.
Signed!
Stationary bicycles are the only wheeled invention a woman should ever commandeer. They can be found at most rec centers and don’t require any licensing. I support this letter.
- Buddy Danger Cordova
That was wrong on so many levels, but I laughed my ass off anyway. Giving camels goosebumps; doing their hair and then having to wear burkas; overly exaggerated stereotypes of barren and shrewish female horse-pigs. Man, you’re funny.
1st Agree… 1000%