The Middle East Has Enough Problems As It Is
A women’s group in the Middle East is attempting to piss in the face of God this week by petitioning the king of Saudi Arabia for the driving rights they don’t deserve.
That’s right, the burning bra of feminism has torched itself all the way around the world. Women in Saudi Arabia want to drive.
I am writing this article as an open letter to King Abdullah (the king of Saudi Arabia) in hopes of stopping this catastrofuck of lady locomotion before it explodes all over the Middle East like ten nuclear bombs.
If you support this letter, show King Abdullah by signing below in the comments.
King Abdullah,
My name is Dick Masterson. I am a celebrated Man Coach and author of Men Are Better Than Women, a fine work of non-fiction that you can purchase in your local bookstore as of April 2008, or pre-order today through Amazon.com. It is a book of such masculine profundity that your camels will have goosebumps.
Sir, it has come to my attention that a band of progressive misfits and hooligans are attempting to bamboozle you into giving women the right to drive. Rest assured that your manly instincts in this matter are correct — as were those of your father and his father. Letting women drive is dangerous. It’s dangerous to life, and it’s dangerous to your way of life.
While 10% of Americans may not be able to point to your country on a map, 100% of Americans can point to a country who fucked up by giving women a number of rights they don’t deserve. That country rhymes with and also is “America”.
Driving is not a religious issue, sir. On that and only that do I agree with these groups of swindling activists. However, it is not a social issue as they claim it to be. Letting women on the road is a matter of public safety and national security.
Women on the road are more dangerous than cancer.
No cancer can hit you broadside at 60 miles per hour in a two thousand pound SUV. At least no cancer I’ve heard of, and I watch House MD reruns at least twice a day. I’ve heard of every type of cancer there is.
Just this month, a woman in Chicago killed her four kids by trying to race a train across the tracks. I don’t know if you guys have trains over there, but I hope you do because they’re awesome. They’re also deadly when women are behind the wheel.
Trains are just like divorces. Man always loses.
Women on the road are needless congestion.
Fact. If you allow women to drive, your roads will have ten times the cars on them as they do today. While men are working from 9 to 5, women are driving all over the place: shopping, shopping some more, getting their hair done. Women are so stupid and predictable that I bet they get their hair done over there in the Middle East even though they have to wear burkas at all times. Women are the same all over the globe, Your Majesty: dumb as Sea Monkeys.
The point is, when you let women drive, you’re giving them the power to vote. In this case, they get to “vote” on where they’re going. Voting is a slippery slope, sir, and the last “right” you want to be fucking around with like a hot falafel on Eid. I think you guys have enough problems over there as it is.
You may be familiar with the character Borat. He is an exaggerated personification of Middle Eastern stereotypes as held by the Western World. He’s humorous, and while he may have generated over 260 million dollars worldwide, he is very much a fictional character.
You may also be familiar with the characters of Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinhem. While these “ladies” may seem like overly exaggerated stereotypes of barren and shrewish female horse-pigs, they are in fact real women. These women have been driving their entire lives.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
I read about a television program you guys have called Amsha bint Ammash, where a woman wears a mustache and drives a cab around. Over here, we have a television program called Doogie Howser, where a 16 year-old is a brain surgeon. I think you’ll agree that some things are better left on television.
-Dick Masterson
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
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September 20th, 2007 at 8:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 0aa5087643b48
Mike has a point, they seem to have bigger worries. And I know the reason why the middle east has so many accidents because most of the area doesn’t even give out licenses, and there’s few if any road signs or posted speed limits. The only rule they really have is drive on the right side of the road.
Anyway, signed.
September 20th, 2007 at 9:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 833048fa5b38f
Signed.
Women don’t need to drive OR vote OR clutter up our workplaces. Gossiping bitches who turn everything into a catty pissing match.
God designed women to have babies. Period. They are happier making babies and swapping recipes. And the men are happier, too.
September 21st, 2007 at 11:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 2c8448dad3d5f
Oh, look. Mantruth.
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
*laughs at all the stupid “manly” men* manly my ass….you are all a bunch of whine-baby-bitches :)
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e9b52f9da52f
But you are a girl. What would you know, stupid cockmongler?
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
cockmongler? now thats an interesting word :D what would i know? well if im a girl…and since you are all convinced of our horribleness ….then i should know a whine-baby-bitch when i see one(or at least see what they type:D)
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 21124a4ffe241
this is the one good thing i can see in islam , the fact that they keep their noisy whiny whimpery sniviling beyatches under control… if they allow them to drive every advance they have made will be for nothing…
hell , we won’t even need to leave troops in the middle east , once the beyatches are driving they will be extict within a generation…
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 21124a4ffe241
opps , i should have typed ‘extinct’… oh well…
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:15 am - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
redeux….that was the most (un)genious thing ive heard from any male…most of these men are educated know how to speak (beyatches?) and very smart…especially with their words…you are disappointing to their reputations…that was a very uneducated response….
beyatches…oh my what is this world coming to…
adam sandler: i want to grow old with you
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: ef4a56e24a723
ah , sorry , to many juves on too many boards results in my talking down to their level…
still , i stand by my self-extinction comment , i’ve seen how the students from UAE/SA drive here in the states , i can only imagine the inevitable carnage over there…
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
Mmm, trust me redeux, the men here have a need for speed the same as females do, which causes them to drive on the opposite side of the road at times…And we mustn’t forget Californians…holy snitzel cakes, californians of either sex need to learn how to drive.
Movie: Date Movie
September 24th, 2007 at 7:01 am - IP Man-Hash: aa16b7687cc97
Hey Dick, you’re right (as always). Only those over 21 and male have the right to vote in Saudi Arabia. Now that is beautiful!
September 24th, 2007 at 7:03 am - IP Man-Hash: aa16b7687cc97
Pity it’s literally the only country in the world with such a wonderful system, however..
See here:
xhttps://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/21 23.html
September 24th, 2007 at 10:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4145f492dd429
you’re all sad and I laugh at every single one of you, I come to this web site to read how ignorant both men and women are haha, everybody deserves rights, we are all human
September 25th, 2007 at 12:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 3f9d7dcd066f3
Its a good thing that I don’t rule the world, because the first thing I would take away, is the uneducated and illiterates right to vote. You would have to prove that you can actually understand what voting IS before you could do it. Case in point: Chelsea. What a class act. This is the end result of the “modern educational system”? Somebody give me my tax money back, I can’t believe it went to pay for shit like this. Do you actually have a POINT to all of this?
They don’t let women drive in Saudi Arabia, because they don’t have a DEMOCRATIC system of government. The people don’t make decisions for themselves (if thats what you want to call the current corrupt process) someone makes decisions for the people genius. The chinese called it the mandate of heaven, you should look it up sometime now that I have spelt it out for you. Try “reeding a litul biit” before you open your insolent mouth.
-Strength and Honor-
September 25th, 2007 at 3:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 19cb50505fa07
Feelings mutual.
September 25th, 2007 at 4:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 2385f3847dc8b
You have the right to remain silent…
September 25th, 2007 at 5:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 6d589b37beaa5
You know.. Chelsea is one of the greats in english football. I am a Man Utd fan but stll, Chelsea epitomise manly class. Please dont disgrace the club or what it represents with your tirade of horseshit.
We all know the reason why Chelsea is one of the greats… Its a man team… playing a manly game.
September 25th, 2007 at 9:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 19cb50505fa07
Parents probably named her that so she wouldn’t end up a failure.
Nice work.
September 25th, 2007 at 11:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: b26ec5669cf4e
WOMEN DRIVE IN THE U.S?! WTF…HERE THERE’S NO LAW PROHIBITTING THE FUCKING CUNTS FROM DRIVING, BUT THERE IS AN UNWRITTEN LAW THAT A WOMAN WHO TRIES TO DRIVE GETS THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF HER BY HER FATHER/HUSBAND/SON/BROTHER/UNCLE…
P Coderch