Oprah Knows Shit About Shit
I was walking through an airport recently and I saw the following headline on a shitty magazine:
“What do Men Really Think About Boob Jobs?”
I was filled with dismay. Of course a question like this wouldn’t be on a men’s magazine. First of all, men’s magazines don’t phrase their headlines so fucking stupidly. What do men really think about boob jobs? I don’t know, why the fuck don’t you just say what they think on the front so I actually give a shit about reading the why’s and how’s. That’s called marketing, you fucks.
But that’s not the way it was. This was Oprah.
I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same. That’s why we’re always right. You know that old saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Well there are. There about a million ways to skin a cat and 999,999 of them are fucking wrong. Women know every single one of them.
All men agree that boob jobs are good. Not for all women of course, but for the one’s boob jobs are good for, they’re good for. See, men don’t live by hard and fast stupid rules like women do. Rules that women invent when they’re 5 years old because they think it’s cute or because their fucking mother tells them that’s what you have to do to be an adult.
Here’s my point. Myself and all men like anything that encourages women to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Why do I look like shit?”
Because they do. They all fucking do. All women look completely like shit pretty much most of the time. Have you seen those fucking bug-eye sunglasses women wear? They look asinine. Case closed.
Every day I get home from work and ask myself, “how can I do a better job? What do I need to learn or practice to be more productive?” With women, looks should be treated exactly the same. Women are nothing more than their looks after all and they all know it. That’s why Curves the women’s only gym is so successful. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. That would be sexist, which I’m not. It’s just the way it works. Anything else would be like trying to pound a square peg into a cannonball.
Oprah is humongously fat. She knows absolutely nothing about what men think about anything so fuck off Oprah magazine. I’m pretty sure whatever your article said on what men think about anything was fucked and full of self-fellating shit about inner beauty and the best color shoes to wear to make your tits look bigger. Blue isn’t magic. It’s just an ugly color for shoes.
Fuck what men think about boob jobs. What do women think about boob jobs? That’s the interesting question. They’re the ones that are so fucking obsessed with them.
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July 26th, 2006 at 7:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 0279e7aece001
I would just like to say i do not like boobjobs at all, now something i would support is women that has huge tits getting some fat removed from them.. Big boobs isen’t sexy at all!! Yeah i know, it’s a controversial statement, and im pretty sure most people don’t agree, but that’s just my opinion.
This might have something to do with your location Dick, but around here (.no) most girls are hot! So i can’t really agree with your statement about the girl’s appearance.
I’m however very suspicious about the fact that a woman wich most likely never had sex is going to teach other women how to think, or what we men think.
July 26th, 2006 at 9:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 99ea88f1a2e49
Oprah can eat a dick for all I care. Her tv show is for stupid unemployed women who never ever read and therefore can’t think for themselves. They need Oprah to tell them what they should think.
I recently watched the new Deuce Bigalow comedy where the screen writters perfectly portrayed the female mentality of their appearance. A woman born with a penis on her face visits the plastic surgeon and instead of having it removed she gets her tatas enlarged to take people’s focus off of her penis face. Same went for the chick with the enourmous hairy ears.
Feminist college professors will tell you that having tattoos is a sensational way to express yourself in an artistic way. I feel that an obese person with cottage cheesy thighs should concentrate on physicality instead of designing their next tattoo. The very same college professor was adimently opposed to any resistance exercise, testosterone, or sport because she is a sexist and views any form of fitness in a negative way.
People do all sorts of stupid things to try and look visually pleasing for the rest of us. Everything except exercising and following the 5 rules performance nutrition. Fake tits look good when she’s wearing clothes but once you get her shirt off you’re gonna see the gill slits underneath where the surgeon cut and they look like they’re made out of clay. As for Curves for Women, the place is a temple of PSEUDO FITNESS! You’ll notice that the equipment they use are accomidating resistence devices which means that they only push back with the same amount of resistance that the fat bitch is putting into it. It’s done with hydrolic pumps that look identical to the ones you see on any common screen door. I worked in a men’s only gym next door to Curves. Because we were in the same building as them we had to sign a written agreement with the landlords that we wouldn’t be in competition with any other bussiness they rent out to. It’s not sexist to have a female only gym, but for some reason it’s sexist to have a men’s only gym. The women would go to Curves, do the six week challenge and come out of the program fatter than when they went in. Women would sign up on the year long contract out of desperation and would later realize that there is a REAL gym right next door with captured weights, free weights, and cardio equipment. We also never required anybody to sign a contract shoehorning them into a year of auto-pay even though they aren’t using the facility at all. It’s illegitemate and people get their credit fucked up from gym contracts every day.
July 26th, 2006 at 11:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Sy, you have at least one supporter. I think that a handful of breasts is all I need. Small, nice firm ones. I look at breasts like a shopper looks at fruit at the supermarket. Here, quality over quantity for me.
As for the substative topic, you should know that it is time to leave your girlfriend when she starts bitching about your relationship and saying “Oprah says this shit and than shit about blah blah…” because you are in for turbulent times after that.
July 26th, 2006 at 9:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: d62bd8b1be9ab
More of an ass man huh? But in all seriousness, big boobs are fine but certainly not a requirement, what isn’t fine is when women who have big boobs take horrible care of them, i.e. don’t wear supporting clothes, let them go all to shit and hang there like two pathetic national geographic style eggs nailed to a board. I don’t know why women don’t understand that bras arn’t there to be pretty, they’re there to serve a purpose, just like underwear. They are there to protect their breasts from gravity.
But just like every other device men have invented and women utilize, the use has been lost and all that remains are frilly little useless shadows of what the original design meant to accomplish.
Now about boob jobs, Dick I completely agree, they are there for women that need them. Not women who don’t. If the rack is right where it should be, and proportionate to the rest of the body, then they’re fine. If she’s flat chested or she’s got the depressing tribal droopage, then yes she needs to get that taken care of.
When women with acceptable boobs somehow fool themselves into thinking they need fucking E cups to get their promotion, that’s when another manvention has yet again been abused.
July 26th, 2006 at 11:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: f90c5738a59c7
I’d always assumed that the amount of plastic in the tits equals the amount of plastic between the ears.
July 27th, 2006 at 4:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I care a lot more about what’s between the ears than what’s between the nipples.
But I don’t utterly totally ignore the latter. I’m a man.
-wolfe
July 27th, 2006 at 4:58 am - IP Man-Hash: c20b47cbcee08
The law says otherwise:
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums/post-4478.html#4478
Sorry, I couldn’t resist ;
July 27th, 2006 at 3:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: adf8e0bfd5377
funny!
July 27th, 2006 at 8:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 252fc1c498903
Personally I don’t understand why people just cannot accept themselves for who they are. Boob jobs, penis enlargements, ect ect, are all a form of self hatred in my view. We are constantly bombarded with images and soundbytes that are all about how we “should be” when the reality of it all is much different. We commit a grave insult to our humanity when we fail to accept ourselves.
Secondly, I am really into huge tits. However you will notice that many women place the size of their tits on the same pedestal that they place the size of a mans penis. And they say we are superficial.
-Strength and Honor-
July 28th, 2006 at 2:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Ha! Well spotted Anon. Technically incorrect since my statement was explanatory rather than declaratory, but I’ll give you the points. As diamatik says, funny.
-wolfe
July 28th, 2006 at 6:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
abaddon_fff:
I wonder if there are statistics available to show which of these ‘enhancements’ are more common. Will they show that women do breast augmentations, facelifts and other cosmetic surgery options than men? Will it prove that men are better than women in loving their bodies just as they are?
wolfe:
I cannot help but wonder if Anon is an evil woman lawyer (or aspiring to be one). Only those types can take something as sacrosanct as the Laws and then twist and turn them for their own wicked devices. But yeah, I did laugh when I saw the way she tried to make a mockery of something that is good.
July 28th, 2006 at 8:52 am - IP Man-Hash: af8f493b67ea8
I really loved this sentence, very articulate abaddon.
On the topic of plastic surgery and so on, there does seem to be a lot of messages around that encourage us to be something other than what we really are. This is part of marketing, they want us to buy their products and in order to get us to do so they have to convince us that we cannot be attractive, popular, successful and so on without said product. I think these messages are not obvious but they are there and have quite an influence on how we think. (Well, that’s my theory anyway)
That said, I am not against plastic surgery in situations where it is needed, for example to reconstruct a face or body-part after a terrible accident or something.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine about being comfortable in your own skin - I said to her that I try to be grateful for my health, because ultimately that is the most important thing.
I may not be a super-model, but if my limbs work, and I am free to move in and with my own body without pain and discomfort, I am grateful. There are lots of people who do not have that comfort in their own bodies due to disability and misfortune. It is too easy to take the freedom of a good-functioning healthy body for granted, but it does help to think about it from time to time.
July 28th, 2006 at 10:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
That is a bunch of horseshit, Luka. If you really are a woman then you are not comfortable with your body. I’ve known of 98lb women bitching about being fat and wanting to go on a diet.
You are just saying this shit because you may not be able to afford cosmetic surgery as yet. Perhaps you havent found a man willing to pay for it as yet, because as every other woman on earth, you most likely have bad credit (having maxed your card out on shit like your 150th pair of shoes, an outfit you will only wear once, buying outfits that you know are too small for you and other stupid female shit).
July 28th, 2006 at 12:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Actually, Luka seems quite well-balanced for a woman posting on this site. She’s always been one of the good ones.
I concur on the merits of plastic surgery if the patient wishes for dealing with accidents — or, say, breast reconstruction after a mastectomy to fight cancer.
-wolfe
July 28th, 2006 at 2:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d9b5712fefcd
Go ahead and ask any woman who has gotten fake tits why they did it. And every one of them will say “I did it for me.” Yet they will deny that they do it for the attention, which of course is what all women crave more than anything. So I would challenge any woman……why are you all so obsessed with your tits if your not interested in the attention?
July 28th, 2006 at 3:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: c20b47cbcee08
It is not women that are obsessed with tit’s, Jeff, nor are they all obsessed with getting attention for their chest. For instance, my last lover is a well-respected glass artist. He loves busts. I would go so far as to say that he is absolutely obsessed with them. He was very determined to take a mold of my chest so he could then cast it in glass (No, my name isn’t Hilary). I refused point blank. Quite aside from the potential pain this might have involved, I do not wish for anyone and everyone (this man has sculptures in National buildings, for instance) to see my breasts, unless I am intimately involved with them. So there you go. Not all women seek attention for their breasts.