Oprah Knows Shit About Shit
I was walking through an airport recently and I saw the following headline on a shitty magazine:
“What do Men Really Think About Boob Jobs?”
I was filled with dismay. Of course a question like this wouldn’t be on a men’s magazine. First of all, men’s magazines don’t phrase their headlines so fucking stupidly. What do men really think about boob jobs? I don’t know, why the fuck don’t you just say what they think on the front so I actually give a shit about reading the why’s and how’s. That’s called marketing, you fucks.
But that’s not the way it was. This was Oprah.
I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same. That’s why we’re always right. You know that old saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Well there are. There about a million ways to skin a cat and 999,999 of them are fucking wrong. Women know every single one of them.
All men agree that boob jobs are good. Not for all women of course, but for the one’s boob jobs are good for, they’re good for. See, men don’t live by hard and fast stupid rules like women do. Rules that women invent when they’re 5 years old because they think it’s cute or because their fucking mother tells them that’s what you have to do to be an adult.
Here’s my point. Myself and all men like anything that encourages women to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Why do I look like shit?”
Because they do. They all fucking do. All women look completely like shit pretty much most of the time. Have you seen those fucking bug-eye sunglasses women wear? They look asinine. Case closed.
Every day I get home from work and ask myself, “how can I do a better job? What do I need to learn or practice to be more productive?” With women, looks should be treated exactly the same. Women are nothing more than their looks after all and they all know it. That’s why Curves the women’s only gym is so successful. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. That would be sexist, which I’m not. It’s just the way it works. Anything else would be like trying to pound a square peg into a cannonball.
Oprah is humongously fat. She knows absolutely nothing about what men think about anything so fuck off Oprah magazine. I’m pretty sure whatever your article said on what men think about anything was fucked and full of self-fellating shit about inner beauty and the best color shoes to wear to make your tits look bigger. Blue isn’t magic. It’s just an ugly color for shoes.
Fuck what men think about boob jobs. What do women think about boob jobs? That’s the interesting question. They’re the ones that are so fucking obsessed with them.
Related Articles:
August 28th, 2006 at 2:54 am - IP Man-Hash: a247c3e4ba7c5
Sonyad - you have a valid point. I would agree that Big Brother has come to pass in the UK - but I am not sure that ThoughtCrime is strictly speaking in existence yet - although of course there have been forms of it in history.
Some of the concepts explained in that book were terrifying - the DoubleThink concept is a bit freaky. I’m thinking that a part of this concept has to have been used during the times of the Soviets and/or Nazis, though I confess that I don’t really know exactly where or how. In my view George Orwell is a fantastic writer - very accurate with incredible understanding of how power manifests itself and operates.
The unfortunate thing about 1984 is that it has been dominated by the TV series, so now when anyone mentions Big Brother, it conjurs up images of stupid men and women stuck in a house with cameras watching them all day.
August 28th, 2006 at 4:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b756bd3aa59d
Thoughtcrimes a.k.a. hatecrimes here in the USA…
The push is on but hasn’t came to pass yet.
Speak badly about gays = hatecrime(thoughtcrime)
Hate crimes have been in the media way to much and it is similar to thoughtcrime.
Speak poorly of a woman = woman hater(thoughtcrime)
Speak against abortion = wacko(thoughtcrime)
Preacher speaks about sinners = judgemental and intolerant(thoughtcrime)
Say something bad about female = gayness(thoughtcrime) lol
August 28th, 2006 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: a247c3e4ba7c5
Are these hatecrimes actually brought to trial in any shape or form, Billy?
I was having a discussion with friends this morning about the idea that political correctness is a form of mind control. I suppose on some level it is - it is not until you are faced with a person with politically incorrect ideas that you start to realize how trained you are to respond to such ideas with much discomfort. I am too tired to think about the ramifications of that idea just yet (as oddly it has only just occured to me…) - would be interested to know some thoughts on that….(and just to keep on topic) especially with regard to gender issues - how far have we been brainwashed with political correctness with regards to attitudes about gender?
August 28th, 2006 at 7:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
That’s how bloody far!
August 28th, 2006 at 7:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: a247c3e4ba7c5
LOL! Was that written on this message board or did you get that from elsewhere? That was an amusing response.
August 28th, 2006 at 9:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b756bd3aa59d
Hate crimes have been mentioned a good bit here.
Mainly concerning a fight between gay and straight males or if a black man is done harm by a white male. Of course these do go to court.
If a group of blacks attack a white then it is racist to suggest that it was racially motivated. Anything said about a Jew that isn’t appreciated is anti-semetic(hatred). Forgot that one but it’s very prevalent here.
crazy wOrLd no doubt
August 30th, 2006 at 5:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Well, Billy, hegemony does have its downside.
August 30th, 2006 at 8:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 6ecb2f896d6dd
That’s how bloody far!
This explains why driving test no longer require parallel parking.
They got tired of having to pass a woman on the second try.
August 30th, 2006 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Luka: these hatecrimes have been regularly brought to trial in Canada. In the UK too. A Polish goalkeeper in your strange “football” game was cautioned by police for crossing himself during a match. WTF!? WTF!?! That is f-ing obscene. (Sorry I’m assuming you’re UKian, too lazy to check).
@Sony “Women can parallel park.” I confess I misread that as “Women can parallel PORK”. That caused a moment’s amusement. (pork = slang for ummm… horizontal jogging. Getting jiggy with it. Sex.).
@Billy: yeah it’s more anti-gay/black hatecrimes in the US. “If a group of blacks attack a white then it is racist to suggest that it was racially motivated”. Google the “Wichita Horror” and prepare to be horrified. Also be careful, as a lot of racist websites crop up on that googling.
@diamatik: “Well, Billy, hegemony does have its downside.”. Heh. That’s rather good.
-wolfe
August 31st, 2006 at 5:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 1a1c6117577ed
Wolfe - I don’t understand your reference to the Polish goalkeeper? Crossing himself? You mean writing on himself or something? Please clarify.
August 31st, 2006 at 12:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: d691254030680
I’ve read about the Wichita horror.
it’s was tragic.
August 31st, 2006 at 1:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6a96b0d785cb1
Crossing himself with the son/father/holy ghost. A Catholic thing. No doubt a liberal feminist group was deeply offended.
Since women gave up their role as wives and mothers, suck at all jobs, and have only sex to offer and they suck at that too… they’re looking desparately for a new role.
And the best thing to do if you suck at everything that exists, is to make up something you’re good at. There shall be no GODS but the GODDESS… the conciousness of the universe.. of course all of us here know by their actions that women have as deep a councious as some type of hybrid feline/seagull creature. That is.. without loyalty or obediance, and will go apeshit over the smallest scraps of attention.
August 31st, 2006 at 7:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Luka - “Crossing himself” — sorry, I’d forgotten how post-Christian we were, collectively. Thank you son of the suns. Quite correct.
More specifically, a gesture that can be vertically from the forehead to the mid torso, then left to right, horizontally along the torso. It symbolizes both Christ’s crucifixion, and the trinity of Father (forehead), Son (torso), and Holy Ghost (left right). It is, as sots said, predominantly RC, but also High Anglican, some Lutheran and Orthodox. It is done at times as a gesture of respect, at times as a prayer.
It imposes no force, makes no implications as to what others should believe; it is simply a peaceful, brief and quiet expression of faith.
It is also an almost automatic gesture for Christians of a certain age range and/or belief structure.
I find it abominable that this simple and humble Christian gesture should be the result of a police cautioning. I would hope that the first amendment in the US would prevent that happening here.
-wolfe
August 31st, 2006 at 9:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4136c1534ed3c
We have loads of anti-religious fanatics in the USA. And their intolerance is spreading. The same groups who scream tolerance also screams intolerance. Liberals are wackos.
September 2nd, 2006 at 10:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a25aba878123
Fuck Oprah (though I wouldn’t). I couldn’t eat hamburgers for 6 months as a child because of that whore. Of course this was all because of a women who watched the show and I was unfortunate enough to live under the same roof as. Not my mother, just another mistake my father made.
November 24th, 2006 at 12:43 am - IP Man-Hash: a24a23abd7da5
Yes, fuck Oprah indeed. I do mean that figuratively of course. She’s a hideous, pompous, cunt with an overinflated opinion of herself and her position in this mans world, so I wouldn’t actually expect any self respecting man to physically endure that torture. If you have ever had the misfortune of tuning in during one of her self serving estrogen cult airings, then you have noticed that her audience is composed of 99% women and a few token “men” who have been castrated and lobotomized. The point is this: If she is so fucking special, then why does she carry absolutely no clout with the people in society that truly count… men. She is queen of the retards, so why should a man give a second thought to any of her drivel?
About those boob jobs, amazing things, but you already know this. The funny thing is that the market was created by women and their incessent whinning about being inferior to other females, thus beig unable to whore-monger all male attention. Men, being big fans of nice titties and capitolizing on the opportunity, put superior man intellect to work and actually came up with the medical solution. Had it been left to the inferior female mind to devise we would probably be staring at square tits or worse. Thus, the question posed by Oprah is (typically) as irrelevent as all the shit that escapes from her tiny brain. Men perfected the procedure so it stands to reason that men absolutely LOVE big titties, be they natural or medically perfected. Period.
December 12th, 2006 at 2:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 706c792f87261
penis warshiping fags
December 13th, 2006 at 9:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952
Law 2, gentlemen. Though I’ve never seen the word “warship” used in that fashion. Law 1 there, I guess.
-wolfe
December 13th, 2006 at 1:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09f049bfccbdf
So they make warships that look like a penis now?
How manly is that!
December 14th, 2006 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952
First link below is almost certainly safe for work, (it’s in the Daily Mirror) but if your work is very strict, don’t chance it; click the second (but less funny) link.
Well they make (SFW?) Christmas trees shaped like penises, in the aptly named (I am not making this up) PENISTONE, South Yorkshire.
If your work is very strict, you can try this link (Definitely SFW; without picture):
http://www.mirror.co.uk/northernireland/news/tm_method=full%26objectid =18248220%26siteid=94762-name_page.html
-wolfe