Oprah Knows Shit About Shit
I was walking through an airport recently and I saw the following headline on a shitty magazine:
“What do Men Really Think About Boob Jobs?”
I was filled with dismay. Of course a question like this wouldn’t be on a men’s magazine. First of all, men’s magazines don’t phrase their headlines so fucking stupidly. What do men really think about boob jobs? I don’t know, why the fuck don’t you just say what they think on the front so I actually give a shit about reading the why’s and how’s. That’s called marketing, you fucks.
But that’s not the way it was. This was Oprah.
I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same. That’s why we’re always right. You know that old saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Well there are. There about a million ways to skin a cat and 999,999 of them are fucking wrong. Women know every single one of them.
All men agree that boob jobs are good. Not for all women of course, but for the one’s boob jobs are good for, they’re good for. See, men don’t live by hard and fast stupid rules like women do. Rules that women invent when they’re 5 years old because they think it’s cute or because their fucking mother tells them that’s what you have to do to be an adult.
Here’s my point. Myself and all men like anything that encourages women to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Why do I look like shit?”
Because they do. They all fucking do. All women look completely like shit pretty much most of the time. Have you seen those fucking bug-eye sunglasses women wear? They look asinine. Case closed.
Every day I get home from work and ask myself, “how can I do a better job? What do I need to learn or practice to be more productive?” With women, looks should be treated exactly the same. Women are nothing more than their looks after all and they all know it. That’s why Curves the women’s only gym is so successful. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. That would be sexist, which I’m not. It’s just the way it works. Anything else would be like trying to pound a square peg into a cannonball.
Oprah is humongously fat. She knows absolutely nothing about what men think about anything so fuck off Oprah magazine. I’m pretty sure whatever your article said on what men think about anything was fucked and full of self-fellating shit about inner beauty and the best color shoes to wear to make your tits look bigger. Blue isn’t magic. It’s just an ugly color for shoes.
Fuck what men think about boob jobs. What do women think about boob jobs? That’s the interesting question. They’re the ones that are so fucking obsessed with them.
Related Articles:
August 12th, 2006 at 1:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Fuck off my site, you dozy bitch.
-Dick
August 12th, 2006 at 3:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
It is overly simplistic, but it’s also 100% correct. I was unkind to a woman recently; I’d no idea (or intention of being so) I’d been so, but she pointed it out and I was.
If she’d been a man, she’d have laughed at what I said and we’d have had a beer. As a woman, well, she was upset. And rightly so.
The whole thesis of this site — forget the “better than” — is that men are DIFFERENT from women. So be it.
Men are also probably better than women, but that’s another story.
Female, I sincerely think your argument against Sony defeats itself in this narrow case. I really do. That said, it’s a well-stated argument that is not without merit.
So be it.
-wolfe
August 13th, 2006 at 8:55 am - IP Man-Hash: fc5a12240f812
Fem I believe I told you once before that you have no idea of anything in my life. And in that I believe I have the better of you given your ealier drivel.
Your paranoia is understandable, even if not explicable.
August 20th, 2006 at 2:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4d84ec709d3bf
Men speak straight and to the point because we have better things to do with our time than manipulate a conversation. Period.
A Woman that asks questions that simply cannot be answered correctly ie ( do you think she’s pretty? Does this make me look fat?, etc) are looking for the answer to a question IN THIER HEAD.
If you know he is cheating on you, your relationship is dying. Be blunt or get out! If you think he is cheating on you and you need to prove it, you have no trust and your relationship is dying, be blunt or get out. Thats how simple it is. if you are meandering down this thought track you are only hurting yourself and others.
Period
August 20th, 2006 at 10:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2da9b7d34e824
I’ll be covering all those questions soon enough, John.
-Dick
August 22nd, 2006 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: cb4bb95fbd8e4
I cannot believe that I have come across a website like this. You really are living in the stone age; talk about living in a box. Your views on women are appalling; has it ever occurred to you that people who generalise are usually thick? Everyone is different; I have just as many male friends who are insecure as my female friends if not more so its just they are not as in touch with their feelings and feel unable to voice them - and by having a website like this you must be SERIOUSLY insecure ( take a look in the mirror-you only see reality as it exists in your head- one projects there own insecurities onto others). Maybe women are often more complicated than men ( they are known to be more verbal and more socially aware) whereas men are inclined to be more tunnel-visioned which might benefit in ignoring social insecurities but it also makes them less sensitive and more oblivious. We all have different attributes to offer each other - and I think instead of childishly and ignorantly generalising the opposite sex and putting them down you could see that we exist to complement and be there for one another. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a change; the brain is extremely sensitive to conditioning - and advertising certainly knows this. When one is constantly bombarded by a media ‘idea’ of ‘perfecton’ it takes a lot of strength to keep guarding yourself against it, especially if one is very aware and sensitive. Then ontop of that there is peer pressure, even your loved ones telling you what you should look like and teasing you when you don’t match up. In that atmosphere it seems like a cruel world indeed. It is even sadder that a website like this fuels such ignorance and cruelty even more.
August 22nd, 2006 at 9:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1a4ed84419c7b
ever notice how the women have so much to say.
i all i got is uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh *head nodding* well thats all nice do you spit or swallow?
August 23rd, 2006 at 12:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 2da9b7d34e824
Jesus Chris, sarah, do you women realize the Enter key doesn’t wisk you away into the magical world of cyberspace?
-Dick
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:20 am - IP Man-Hash: d004241b490f1
Take your own advice. Try putting yourself in the shoes of one falsely accused of violence or rape. Try putting yourself in the shoes of the millions of fathers who never get to see their kids. Or the shoes of those murdered or raped by women who walk away scot free. How about the boots of the hundreds of thousands of young men FORCED to fight and die for their country(and your fat arse) without ever getting to do as much as vote.
Poor, poor sarah.
Life is so tough for sarah. Oh the trials and tribulations of living up to standards.
Listen honeybun - if that’s all you’ve got to worry about your life must be one long annus horribilus.
Oh no. There’s another ad on the telly with a girl prettier than sarah. Oh the oppression.
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I sympathise with the poor lass. Just imagine how awful it must be to bear the make believe pressure fellow dopes exert.
August 23rd, 2006 at 4:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
So kiss.
August 23rd, 2006 at 4:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 83c5dce5f163f
The only reason your male friends are insecure is because if they’re hanging out with you; in all likelyhood they don’t have balls.
Some of us here may be insecure, I mean we’re living in a society that can’t survive without man’s technical innovations. Everyone gobbles up the progress we make, yet in the social, education, political spheres, we’re pariahs.
Do you know what the Muslims hate most about the west? Ill give you a hint it ain’t capitalism. It’s lying moral relativists like you.
Maybe we can all quit our works and you can sit us down and show us how to deal with our insecurities and how to be just like females?
Or maybe you can fuck off.
August 23rd, 2006 at 5:50 am - IP Man-Hash: eff8cc0c98330
Believe it. Our views are exact on women. We just paint it like you whores live it. Our views are appalling because women are appalling.
In touch with your feelings, big dam deal, no. Your feelings is what makes you so damn self centered and narsistic. We don’t live in the stone age, it’s men who brought the new world to you ungreatful women and you would be living in the stone age if it weren’t for us men. If we live to complement each other why is it that women never compliment men unless he is fithy rich? Don’t answer that we know why…
1000 times the number of websites with women bashing males and even threathening to kill us all yet you get your panties in a knot over this site. I bet you never made a fuss over those others.. You probably laugh when some gold digger talks about ass raping her man in court. What is really sad is you women today. Reach out and touch this with your feelers… WORTHLESS BITCHES. Women’s feelings are like space junk.
You should just fuck off this site and really get in touch with your feelers.
August 24th, 2006 at 6:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 455b1e890fbf3
If you consider the term ‘more complicated’ to be the new euphemism for ‘not better,’ then I agree with sarah whole-heartedly on that statement.
August 24th, 2006 at 7:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 038b3f7f5976e
I think that women aren’t that complicated at all. They simply wish to appear so, or they complicate things that really aren’t that complicated to begin with.
Women can be extremely simple for example, take this equasion: A= The amount of money she would get if she stayed with her husband, B= The amount of money she would get if she left her husband, C= The difference between both. If A-B results in C being a postive number, chances are that they can “work” things out. However if A-B results in a negative number, the chances are that there are going to be “irreconciliable differences”. Of course children aren’t even factored into this equasion, because they aren’t really a variable, in most cases women get those on the basis of gender.
-Strength and Honor-
August 25th, 2006 at 4:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
sarah, shut the fuck up and fuck off my website.
-Dick
August 25th, 2006 at 5:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
My God! It’s a coordinated skank attack! They’re flanking us.
August 25th, 2006 at 5:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: ab7c377098cb9
Imagination running away with you ey? This is the internet, not a war zone (thought I’d point it out).
August 25th, 2006 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 455b1e890fbf3
While you’re at it, point your way off this website, you troll.
August 25th, 2006 at 5:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: ab7c377098cb9
Troll!? Oh no! You’ve hurt my feelings! …Oh wait, no you haven’t. try and construct a decent argument.