Oprah Knows Shit About Shit

I was walking through an airport recently and I saw the following headline on a shitty magazine:

“What do Men Really Think About Boob Jobs?”

I was filled with dismay. Of course a question like this wouldn’t be on a men’s magazine. First of all, men’s magazines don’t phrase their headlines so fucking stupidly. What do men really think about boob jobs? I don’t know, why the fuck don’t you just say what they think on the front so I actually give a shit about reading the why’s and how’s. That’s called marketing, you fucks.

But that’s not the way it was. This was Oprah.

I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same. That’s why we’re always right. You know that old saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Well there are. There about a million ways to skin a cat and 999,999 of them are fucking wrong. Women know every single one of them.

All men agree that boob jobs are good. Not for all women of course, but for the one’s boob jobs are good for, they’re good for. See, men don’t live by hard and fast stupid rules like women do. Rules that women invent when they’re 5 years old because they think it’s cute or because their fucking mother tells them that’s what you have to do to be an adult.

Here’s my point. Myself and all men like anything that encourages women to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Why do I look like shit?”

Because they do. They all fucking do. All women look completely like shit pretty much most of the time. Have you seen those fucking bug-eye sunglasses women wear? They look asinine. Case closed.

Every day I get home from work and ask myself, “how can I do a better job? What do I need to learn or practice to be more productive?” With women, looks should be treated exactly the same. Women are nothing more than their looks after all and they all know it. That’s why Curves the women’s only gym is so successful. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. That would be sexist, which I’m not. It’s just the way it works. Anything else would be like trying to pound a square peg into a cannonball.

Oprah is humongously fat. She knows absolutely nothing about what men think about anything so fuck off Oprah magazine. I’m pretty sure whatever your article said on what men think about anything was fucked and full of self-fellating shit about inner beauty and the best color shoes to wear to make your tits look bigger. Blue isn’t magic. It’s just an ugly color for shoes.

Fuck what men think about boob jobs. What do women think about boob jobs? That’s the interesting question. They’re the ones that are so fucking obsessed with them.

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215 Comments in 211 threads.»

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Comment by ND
2010-02-22 08:52:34 - IP Man-Hash: 4052c45cc5475

For feminist pig teenagers:
Grow up and out of feminism. You don’t need a crutch to be a woman. You do need to learn how to suck a man to completion.

For feminist, divorced mothers:
You are screwing up your kids by chasing away their fathers. I see it everyday. Your hopes of revenge and superiority are imbalanced and will land your kids in your boat, in a time when all you will be able to do is watch them sail down your river to the same self-pity and loneliness. When they turn 12 and bleed, it is time to teach your girls how to be women, not teenagers. But I forgot, you must possess wisdom before you can teach it to children. And the spot in your head reserved for wisdom is still full of pride. So forget it, there is no room in your life for wisdom. Stick with feminism. It’s too late for you. But don’t worry… your girls will learn, sooner or later, how to suck a man to completion, if she ever wants to be with a real man.

Comment by Craig
2010-03-04 13:48:30 - IP Man-Hash: 2bb2a3c0807c9

Rock on dude!
Instead of a degree in Psychology or political science or english
How about a master’s in sucking my dick?
The art of swallowing and a minor degree in playing with my balls!

Otherwise no man cares about American single mothers or bitchy, rambling broads. Stop talking and start sucking!

 
 
Comment by Wankstar
2010-02-04 02:46:47 - IP Man-Hash: 459bc940c378f

Oprah now that chick rocks! She could take over the world with here influence but her show ends this season, so why you bleeding thro your crack?

 
Comment by I'm an atheist, what's your excuse?
2010-01-26 07:21:55 - IP Man-Hash: bce18bab14023

Oprah’s an arrogant fraud. The world revolves around Oprah. Now that she’s old, in 10 or so years she’ll either be laid to rest in some gigantic marble and gilded gold shrine or her ashes will be part of a Smithsonian Institute exhibit. I seriously doubt old Oprah will make it into her mid 60’s. All of the money in the world can buy time. Oprah’s got to realize that in just 10 years, and we all know how fast 10 years lapses, that she could very likely lapse into a permanent state of unconsciousness and fade into oblivion. To exist no more, in absolutely no form since there is no evidence of life after death. When it’s over, it’s over.

 
Comment by Connor Quinn
2009-12-29 10:11:18 - IP Man-Hash: 668ec16f2e4f6

The person who write this article is the most sexist, narcissistic person I have ever heard. Your mindset of “women are nothing other than their bodies” is disgusting. Women aren’t just toys for men to play with. You obviously need a new definition of sexism, because you said that you aren’t a sexist, and I’m pretty sure everyone who reads this article can concur that you are a sexist. If you keep acting like the way you are in this article, there isn’t going to be any woman who cares whether or not you like her boob job. Oh, and by the way, I’m a guy, and so i just contradicted your claim that ” all men think the same.”

Comment by Watcher
2010-03-04 16:45:03 - IP Man-Hash: dc2258566578b

You’re not ‘a guy’.

 
 
Comment by Connor Quinn
2009-12-29 09:59:18 - IP Man-Hash: 668ec16f2e4f6

The person who write this article is the most sexist, slovenly, chauvinistic, narcissistic person I have ever heard.

 
Comment by Tony
2009-12-21 11:21:27 - IP Man-Hash: 2b4808da920b5

Come to my site.

http://www.voy.com/219711/

Women are the scum of the earth and they know it. Especially nurses!

 
Comment by Randy
2009-12-04 17:57:39 - IP Man-Hash: c20d3f77294b4

Hail Oprah! You haven’t any grace, and there’s no lord with you. Blessed are those who despise you, and blessed is the fact your show ends in 2012. Holy-less Oprah! Mother of nonsense, prey on your naive viewers, now and at the hour of your death. FUCK YOU OPRAH! CUNT LICKING, FECAL FACED, CONNIVING PEICE OF SHIT!

 
Comment by aNTHONY
2009-06-09 13:44:42 - IP Man-Hash: 6304606a4361e

Just like to say FUCK YOU OPRAH, AND WHAT YOU STAND FOR!!! U R …. AND KNOW IT!!!! CANTHONY@EC.RR.COM

Comment by Johnny
2009-11-20 16:20:04 - IP Man-Hash: 0d4946fc80e49

Oprah sucks… So does Obama… Boob jobs are okay, but I prefer the real deal. I can’t speak for all women because my woman is mad cool, but the ones that are self centered/loathing hoes need to get over themselves… Oh and women’s magazines suck…

 
 
 
Comment by Oprahs Mom
2009-01-19 14:34:02 - IP Man-Hash: 91371c53bcdd3

I hate that piece of shit , I hope and Pray she Croaks

 
Comment by Vivi
2009-01-09 20:17:23 - IP Man-Hash: 67b1f02fb5b3d

why doesn’t oprah shut her big fat ugly mouth…who gives a shit about her FAT ass…THE FAT ASS IS AROUND 250 WHO CARES.

 
Comment by pius
2008-12-31 20:07:23 - IP Man-Hash: 695cca31a7bdd

Women are more self-centered, probably.They crave for attention but don”t know what for–or I”m mistaken?Sometimes girls in the streets of our Ukraine seem to me like heap of nonsense.Why so?I reside in a stupid country of a cruel stupid world?

 
Comment by Woman2
2008-11-08 13:18:04 - IP Man-Hash: f1cc1a063bd87

OK..this was really great! I am a woman and I can’t believe I totally agree with this article. Seriously…Oprah is a fat slob and tries so very hard to be hipp. Well your NOT! NEVER! Have you seen her without make-up…she is a fricken gorilla. Ugliest damn thing I’ve ever saw. Go back to the jungle…you ugly porch monkey. And now your thing with Obama…please he’s nothing but a wanna be and America fell into his little trap. He’ll take your guns away guys and he is not for gays & lesbos he is a stupid half breed wanna be black man. Oprah why don’t you go to the oval office and blow him you both need it!

 
Comment by luva
2008-11-01 20:48:05 - IP Man-Hash: e6ce693343930

Eat me ho’s. I like Oprah’s man boobs…..Chocolate and Delicious! Come on back to Misissippi Oprah…..Your daddy’s waiting

 
Comment by Heather
2008-07-15 12:58:58 - IP Man-Hash: adfc6a2d5f8d6

why is it every time a woman proves you men wrong, you refuse to believe it.
your ignorant.

 
Comment by Kevin B
2008-06-12 21:36:52 - IP Man-Hash: 9f6f090658376

Dick knows boobs are cool – if you are worthy enough to have them – Listen to Dick – He knows!

 
Comment by girlgirl
2008-05-12 20:35:08 - IP Man-Hash: 2bc5844a0f6c6

hilarious…..keep it up

 
Comment by cb
2008-05-04 20:39:52 - IP Man-Hash: 161691d039713

amazing how oprah gives advice yet doesnt have the self control to maintain weight. honestly why do people listen to her? shes just a fat fucking hippo who promotes the “you go girl” attitude.

 
Comment by Brad
2008-04-29 02:30:45 - IP Man-Hash: ecf592c8a1466

women suck, they really do, im married, 2 kids still dont like them(women that is). All they have is their looks…they try so hard to hold on to them, once they are gone… well they are just the moaning, annoying fuckhead they always were, only difference is you dont want t stick your dick’n'them nemore…oh yea, fuck oprah

 
Comment by Arbalest
2008-03-08 23:03:04 - IP Man-Hash: f8347e3431c87

This from someone replying to a topic that’s been dead for two months?