Oprah Knows Shit About Shit

I was walking through an airport recently and I saw the following headline on a shitty magazine:

“What do Men Really Think About Boob Jobs?”

I was filled with dismay. Of course a question like this wouldn’t be on a men’s magazine. First of all, men’s magazines don’t phrase their headlines so fucking stupidly. What do men really think about boob jobs? I don’t know, why the fuck don’t you just say what they think on the front so I actually give a shit about reading the why’s and how’s. That’s called marketing, you fucks.

But that’s not the way it was. This was Oprah.

I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same. That’s why we’re always right. You know that old saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Well there are. There about a million ways to skin a cat and 999,999 of them are fucking wrong. Women know every single one of them.

All men agree that boob jobs are good. Not for all women of course, but for the one’s boob jobs are good for, they’re good for. See, men don’t live by hard and fast stupid rules like women do. Rules that women invent when they’re 5 years old because they think it’s cute or because their fucking mother tells them that’s what you have to do to be an adult.

Here’s my point. Myself and all men like anything that encourages women to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Why do I look like shit?”

Because they do. They all fucking do. All women look completely like shit pretty much most of the time. Have you seen those fucking bug-eye sunglasses women wear? They look asinine. Case closed.

Every day I get home from work and ask myself, “how can I do a better job? What do I need to learn or practice to be more productive?” With women, looks should be treated exactly the same. Women are nothing more than their looks after all and they all know it. That’s why Curves the women’s only gym is so successful. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. That would be sexist, which I’m not. It’s just the way it works. Anything else would be like trying to pound a square peg into a cannonball.

Oprah is humongously fat. She knows absolutely nothing about what men think about anything so fuck off Oprah magazine. I’m pretty sure whatever your article said on what men think about anything was fucked and full of self-fellating shit about inner beauty and the best color shoes to wear to make your tits look bigger. Blue isn’t magic. It’s just an ugly color for shoes.

Fuck what men think about boob jobs. What do women think about boob jobs? That’s the interesting question. They’re the ones that are so fucking obsessed with them.

Related Articles:

RSS feed | Trackback URI

197 Comments in 197 threads.»

Pages: [10] 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All

Comment by Heather
2008-07-15 12:58:58

why is it every time a woman proves you men wrong, you refuse to believe it.
your ignorant.

 
Comment by Kevin B
2008-06-12 21:36:52

Dick knows boobs are cool - if you are worthy enough to have them - Listen to Dick - He knows!

 
Comment by girlgirl
2008-05-12 20:35:08

hilarious…..keep it up

 
Comment by cb
2008-05-04 20:39:52

amazing how oprah gives advice yet doesnt have the self control to maintain weight. honestly why do people listen to her? shes just a fat fucking hippo who promotes the “you go girl” attitude.

 
Comment by Brad
2008-04-29 02:30:45

women suck, they really do, im married, 2 kids still dont like them(women that is). All they have is their looks…they try so hard to hold on to them, once they are gone… well they are just the moaning, annoying fuckhead they always were, only difference is you dont want t stick your dick’n'them nemore…oh yea, fuck oprah

 
Comment by Arbalest
2008-03-08 23:03:04

This from someone replying to a topic that’s been dead for two months?

 
Comment by blah
2008-03-08 22:01:25

anon said:

Hmm, maybe you should just not watch Oprah? If lots of people want to watch, let them. Why work yourself up over it? If they are so stupid to listen to her bullshit, why are you expending the time and effort to criticize?

Maybe you need to find something better to do than criticize. If you want to praise the male sex, please do. There are many worthy things about men but don’t say you are praising the male sex by criticizing the female sex that apparently, you as men still want to fuck. It makes me think you are just comparing shit with diarrhea, it’s still bad regardless of which one is better.

So why don’t you try and come up with reasons why men rock without bringing women into the picture. I thought men don’t need women, so why not reasons for men rocking without women in the picture?

I really hope you don’t have some significant other you are making miserable with that attitude. Unless she is sticking around hoping you will grow up. Then she is just stupid and that is something separate of gender.

Learn to think, please.

You are damn right. All they do is bring women down to try to feel better about themselves. They have no real argument on why men are “better” than women. The thing is, they have nothing to do with their lives except watch Oprah even if they don’t like her and criticize about everything. I wouldn’t want my life to be that meaningless… Find something better to do, something you actually enjoy and is usefull.

 
Comment by sushi
2008-01-18 07:28:45

@David- i’m sorry but according to Mr Masterson you are wrong-

“I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same”

 
Comment by David Policastro
2008-01-18 06:28:21

My question is, being that she’s a woman, how would Oprah know anything about what men think about boob-jobs? And does she consider the fact that not all men share the same opinion on the subject? Some men like boob-jobs, some don’t. Shit, some guys HAVE boob-jobs. Does she put that in her magazine? I doubt it.

 
Comment by anon
2007-12-17 19:41:22

Hmm, maybe you should just not watch Oprah? If lots of people want to watch, let them. Why work yourself up over it? If they are so stupid to listen to her bullshit, why are you expending the time and effort to criticize?

Maybe you need to find something better to do than criticize. If you want to praise the male sex, please do. There are many worthy things about men but don’t say you are praising the male sex by criticizing the female sex that apparently, you as men still want to fuck. It makes me think you are just comparing shit with diarrhea, it’s still bad regardless of which one is better.

So why don’t you try and come up with reasons why men rock without bringing women into the picture. I thought men don’t need women, so why not reasons for men rocking without women in the picture?

I really hope you don’t have some significant other you are making miserable with that attitude. Unless she is sticking around hoping you will grow up. Then she is just stupid and that is something separate of gender.

Learn to think, please.

 
Comment by zelda fan
2007-11-08 23:42:27

FUCK OPRAH FAT BITCH! IF SHE DIES THERE WILL BE 100′S OF IDOITS LISTING TO HER BULLSHIT SHE’S FOR THE BLACK PEOPLE THAT IS HOW SHE GOT STARTED SHE KNOWS NOTHING. SHE’S NOT FUNNY!!!!! AND THE TOPICS ON THE SHOW SUCK!!!!! FUCK YOU OPRAH.

 
Comment by diamatik
2007-09-05 17:15:26

Mansman said:

Men would much prefer it if you looked up to them.

You’ll find this easier from a kneeling position.

So true!

 
Comment by Mansman
2007-09-05 15:57:06

a woman said:

men who are misogynists are angry because no one wants to sleep with them… lol

You proceed from a false assumption…not all women are like you.

It would be nicer if you were more feminine and understanding of the REASONS for this site. Men would much prefer it if you looked up to them.

You’ll find this easier from a kneeling position.

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-05-28 20:07:36

Isn’t justice supposed to hurt?

Handjobs don’t..

 
Comment by sonyad
2007-05-28 17:55:59

Poetic justice, SotS.

- Papa Roach - Infest

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-05-28 17:12:26

a woman said:

men who are misogynists are angry because no one wants to sleep with them… lol

That doesn’t explain how I was almost raped friday night.. me being one of the most radical “mysoganists” here.

 
Comment by sonyad
2007-05-28 16:56:42

yuck, yuck, you’re dumb as bricks… lol

 
Comment by a woman
2007-05-28 16:49:04

men who are misogynists are angry because no one wants to sleep with them… lol

 
Comment by diamatik
2007-04-01 10:05:30

and a damn rich one too.

 
Comment by Billy
2007-03-31 23:28:09

Randall the mangina is making a living off of the women he appeases with words. And a damn good living. But he is still a mangina and a turncoat.

 
Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
URI

Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis