Parking. Fuck Off.
Do you know what it is to be a man? Being a man is getting out of your car, looking at your fucked up parking job, and then getting back in your car and parking it correctly.
Being a woman is what I saw about ten minutes ago. It’s pulling up to the curb like a drunken teenager, mashing your tire against the concrete like you’re humping a doorknob, and then getting out of your car whilst on a cell phone and letting someone else deal with the whole shit.
By someone else, I mean ’some man’, who is more than likely going to have to pay for that tire when it blows the fuck up.
Men are better drivers than woman. Think of driving like fucking. Men are better than woman at it in everyway. We men initiate it, we do all the fucking work (including paying for it), and we let everyone know when it’s done. Who gives a fuck what women think about when it’s done. That’s like a bus driver just walking around town telling banks it’s time to close up for the day. What the fuck does a bus driver know about banking?
Dick. And that’s exactly what women know about fucking and parking and also driving.
Women can’t park for shit. Have you ever watched a woman park? It hurts me in my balls. As a man I have these things called testicles and they fucking hurt when I have to watch a woman drive a 60,000 dollar something in between two other 60,000 dollar something’s. I can’t explain it. Science can’t explain it either because gonads are more scientifically advanced than anything that has ever been. I’m just telling you what hurts and where.
You know what else women suck at? Backing out of their parking spots.
I don’t know where in the fuck women get the idea into their heads that they should drive. They can’t. They can’t jump the very first fucking hurdle of that man-race, which is pulling out of and pulling into a parking spot. I’m going to state the very obvious for the sake of completeness right now. The big fucking cement shit that stops your car from rolling into the beauty parlor or the food market (which is commonly called a curb) is imaginary. That’s right. It’s imaginary — to men at least. Any man will pull up to a curb and use that as a suggestion.
“Maybe now is a good time to stop my fucking car,” a man will say whilst humping a doorknob. “Maybe I’ve driven as close to this bullshit boutique as someone can get.”
Well you have. Now get the fuck out and look at the five inch dent you just put in your tire. Five inches is huge. If anyone tells you it isn’t, ask them how they’d feel about a five inch stick of TNT exploding in their cat’s butthole.
Probably they wouldn’t feel good about it. Fuck you, women shouldn’t drive.
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October 4th, 2006 at 5:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea
hm one thing i can agree with [men being better drivers than women]. idk about the whole parking thing…
October 4th, 2006 at 6:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Well, probably quite a bit… if he’s a man.
And Dick didn’t even have to mention women and parallel parking. That’s a whole other can of worms.
-wolfe
October 4th, 2006 at 7:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7b7ac5fc27ee1
Sheesh, watching a woman parallel park would give a man prostate cancer.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
How about women start showing a degree of their famous, bountiful and unabridged empathy towards their cars or, better still, other people’s cars they happen to be driving, not to mention some man’s wallet somewhere.
I’ve driven a car that’s been tormented by a lady driver for only just 40 thous. k since brand new before I took it over. The clutch disk was off to hell, it burnt 11 litres to the hundred, drive belt worn to bloody hell as well and it would habitually jump out of gear for no fucking reason.
Just watch a woman change gears in your car, Dick. That ought to have you laying quietly on your side all curled up for a good few minutes. The way they jerk and erk the stick shift and prod the accelerator to bloody hell while resting on the clutch pedal. Murder.
-Women and driving. (mutually exclusive)
October 5th, 2006 at 4:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 731ced04c4ed5
Women are not only self-serving, selfish and self-centered, but also lousy drivers, something that has always been obvious to males. But as usual the little “pririvleged princess” still needs convincing.
“The latest available Home Office statistics show British women account for an increasing share of nearly all types of traffic conviction — especially speeding. In six years from 1996 to 2002 the proportion of women convicted for speeding rose by more than half to 17% of the national total of 124,600. An increased proportion of women were also convicted for drink-driving, driving without insurance, neglect of traffic signs and pedestrian rights, as well as parking offences.”
” Other experts say the reasons may not just be aggressiveness. Andrew Howard, the head of road safety at the AA Motoring Trust, says speed cameras are catching fast women who previously got away with it.”
“A greater percentage of the people being caught by cameras are women, because cameras are indiscriminate,� he says. “Women can’t flutter their eyelashes at a speed camera. It used to be that policemen would pull over only the worst offenders, who all tended to be men. Now, if you go at 36mph the camera will get you.�
“The study, due to be published shortly in the American scientific press, is loaded with psychometric jargon but its implications are inescapable. Women, it found, exhibited high levels of hostility, sensation seeking, susceptibility to boredom, and competitiveness. The behaviour of the American women appeared to be fuelled by hostility (“I’m in a hurry. Move it or lose it,â€? was the typical attitude).”
October 5th, 2006 at 6:18 am - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
you are all full of shit - i can drive well and fast and precisely and safely, and not necessarily in that order - my stick shift(s) has never complained about the way it was handled - and i almost never say never, but in this case i’m fucking saying never because i mean n-e-v-e-r.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 68cb7479382dc
Sure you can honey. You keep telling yourself that. Now, run along. Men are talking.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:31 am - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
“run along” because i’ve heard all your crap before…gladly.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Ooops. A certain panty’s on the rag, it seems.
October 5th, 2006 at 7:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 4144eb2ce5005
Why would your stick shift(s) complain to you? What would be the point? It would save it for the first mechanic, who would be a man of course, so the problem could be fixed quickly, efficiently and with no fuss without e-v-e-r involving an airhead in the process.
October 5th, 2006 at 8:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 53c6959990f7f
What really chaps my ass is that women get a discount when they are younger because apparently young males are more of a driving risk so are charged a premium.
However, we all know that when women hit 14 they stop maturing and developing mentally and have reached the peak of their driving prowess.
Yet, insurance companies won’t charge a premium after the teen years because that would be sexist.
To recap:
Women suck at driving but are slightly better than young men driving so don’t have to pay a premium.
When the tables turn around 25, men and women are charged the same (even though women clearly drive very poorly and have more tickets and more accidents based on total driving time) since that would be sexist.
I find it hilarious that women get more tickets for speeding, especially knowing that it would probably be a lot more tickets except for the fact that they probably sucked off a cop here or there to get out of one.
October 5th, 2006 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
I don’t believe it’s ever been done. I could be wrong, but I’m not.
-Dick
October 5th, 2006 at 10:14 am - IP Man-Hash: fecff644282fd
Agree 100%!
I would like to add, the “Stop Sign”. Has anyone noticed what women do at stop signs?
Its sort of like the attention thing. Everytime I get to a 4 way or 3 way stop sign where a women is already at an adjacent corner, she will stay there untill I look her in the eye??!!!
Now in case you dont get it, she had plenty of time to go, she would be already at the stop sign while I was approaching… but she stays there untill I make eye contact, then I have to fucking wait as she finnally crosses the fucking road!
If that wasnt bad enough, guess what else the bitches usually do.. once I do make eye contact (becasue Im wondering why the fuck their still sitting there), they usually roll their eyes or give me some other impatient look??!!
Its so unbelievable to me that women go thru so much bullshit for attention, they should be chained to the fucking kitchen and let out only with a “man guide” so they dont cause any more shit.
Dutch~
October 5th, 2006 at 10:43 am - IP Man-Hash: d9b4b6559b80b
Hey, Dutch. Look here for a bit more insight to your worries.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: d3a8a9b2dfe46
For years, I have always said “….women and machines don’t mix” especially if that machine is capable of taking a life. (guns, vehicles hell even ATMs) I guess that’s why there are no women pilots for commercial jet liners. Hell, every day would be 9/11 if women were allowed to fly jet liners.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0da82aefb99ab
Female Pilots in the Airline Industry
(major U.S. airlines only as of June 2002)
Total number of U.S. airline pilots – More than 30,000
Total number of female U.S. airline pilots – Approximately 3,345
Total number of female U.S. airline captains – Approximately 740
October 5th, 2006 at 12:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
There are(not sure there are actually any captains though). Just not in statistically significant numbers.
However, that barely holds a candle to the ultimate travesty ever committed. Women captains of a vessels - skippers.
Who but a woman to trample on millennial sacred naval tradition with utterly no fucking regard for anything but her own, simpleton, obtuse selfishness and attention whoring and idiotic ambitions.
Shuddering with disgust. Not a a thought I want to dwell on.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Yet further disgusted by what Amefuto’s comment implies. It appears nothing is safe.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Fuck you!
Fucking unbelievable disgrace! Is there nothing bloody safe?
Bloody hell! A enver ending nightmare, worse and worses hit keeps springing up on you.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Hell, I knew nasa’s seriously fucked up with those, supposedly, female captains that keep blasting off.
But now, there truly is nothing sacred left untarnished in the world.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I can only imagine the heavy shame that befell those poor blokes. A sub captained by a woman. Words can’t begin to describe the audacity of the insult.
Enough to make one scuttle the ship, to save a real lady’s honour.
I’ll go have a sip of something or I’ll start foaming soon.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2c3fdac5485eb
In my State they ended parallel parking test as part of driving test because too many women failed them.
So 10% of major airline pilots are women. But that leaves plenty of men to make sure they are flying correctly and to take the blame when they don’t.
October 7th, 2006 at 10:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 59274e43755d7
Brilliant, just brilliant. I am starting to like you more and more. This is my mother all over 100% and all the other women I’ve seen too. I think you forgot to mention hill-parking/hill-starts though. Women suck at that too. I truly laugh when women cant seem to understand why some men are gay.
October 7th, 2006 at 11:46 am - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
And do you ‘truly laugh’ while biting the pillow or pitching to your catcher?
As far as many women are concerned more men should finally admit that they’re gay and stop fucking wasting our time [and theirs] with inane excuses for why they can’t seem to ‘find the right woman’/keep getting fucked over by what seemed like a ‘nice pkg’ until she started being a bitch/are just so tired of women being poisonous sirens who just want to fuck with men [and not in a good way…after the n-th fuck-session that you guys have so graciously ’stuck it out for’…
Poor babies…maybe try re-enacting breast-feeding more often and you might get better results - then again, I can only speak for myself…while my mouth is free of obstructions…
October 7th, 2006 at 2:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Yet more scatological misandry. Quaint.
October 7th, 2006 at 6:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: eab4c21bb6be5
I’ve got an obstruction for your mouth right here.
October 7th, 2006 at 8:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: ece419b219a55
smrtpants said:
And do you ‘truly laugh’ while biting the pillow or pitching to your catcher?
-Smrtpants, you are a column of the laws of women. What a misandric bitch.
As far as many women are concerned more men should finally admit that they’re gay and stop fucking wasting our time [and theirs] with inane excuses for why they can’t seem to ‘find the right woman’/keep getting fucked over by what seemed like a ‘nice pkg’ until she started being a bitch/are just so tired of women being poisonous sirens who just want to fuck with men [and not in a good way…after the n-th fuck-session that you guys have so graciously ’stuck it out for’…
–Sounds like you “struck out” smrtpants. Sorry that you’re a whore, and you have bad taste in Men. I’ll give you a hint though, its called life, get over it, it will end soon enough. Life is short.
Poor babies…maybe try re-enacting breast-feeding more often and you might get better results - then again, I can only speak for myself…while my mouth is free of obstructions…
-Your shaming language is childish, much like most of your posts. -
-Strength and Honor-
October 9th, 2006 at 7:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: c3e6ad25dbabc
And do you ‘truly laugh’ while biting the pillow or pitching to your catcher?
As far as many women are concerned more men should finally admit that they’re gay and stop fucking wasting our time [and theirs] with inane excuses for why they can’t seem to ‘find the right woman’/keep getting fucked over by what seemed like a ‘nice pkg’ until she started being a bitch/are just so tired of women being poisonous sirens who just want to fuck with men [and not in a good way…after the n-th fuck-session that you guys have so graciously ’stuck it out for’…
Poor babies…maybe try re-enacting breast-feeding more often and you might get better results - then again, I can only speak for myself…while my mouth is free of obstructions…
Looks like this chick has some serious issues.
Perhaps if you would clean up your act a little, and stop dating the Beta males in the West End, you would not so bitter.
October 9th, 2006 at 8:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4657e56d12e8e
Classy.
-Dick
May 17th, 2007 at 7:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4d9b3aef41d8f
The reason why young female drivers are charged less for insurance than young male drivers is because men know how the fuck to stunt. The second a man gets in his car he does a man-fucking-tastic burnout and donuts all over the shitting fucking place. Because a MAN knows how to CONTROL his CAR.
A 16 year old girl, however, will grind the clutch and then roll gently into the nearest wall because she fucking sucks. Get off my road bitches.
May 18th, 2007 at 2:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5053c245ceb5c
Fucking Right. There was once a women driver in F-1, and yeh she was fucking shit.
At least that was the end of that, no PC bullshit going on there anymore, untainted, unlike those damm submarines.
May 18th, 2007 at 5:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb0193ec17432
I agree totally.
Today I saw the best: she cruised through a stop sign, looking at herself in the rearvision mirror, eating a donut, and talking on her cellphone.
September 2nd, 2007 at 5:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
Females can’t drive because their attitude is all fucked up. Even more alarming is that they have a huge truckload of denial about their incompetence when operating any kind of machinery, but especially dangerous fucking machinery.
It’s performance pressure they simply can’t take, and there’s a reason.
Having no spacial skills, no commonsense, no quick thinking or decision making ability…just doesn’t help. Having a real possibility of also not being able to blame anyone else for some serious fuck up…completely doesn’t help.
These things and more place such a strain on the female brain that everybody around them when they drive is in very real danger. At least you can keep any eye out for those stupid ass stick on flowers they all use to block the fuck out of the driver’s view through their rear window, and keep yourself a safe distance away (ie: at least 2km).
It’s a whole world of pain just thinking about how female drivers manage to get from point A to B without killing themselves and everybody else along the way.
I laugh when I see women driving Mercs and BMW’s around. The guy who owns it must really be getting some good poon.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 60f5ee5a5f23b
I’m a newlywed and I always initiate sex, I am the only person with a job. I just want to say that I just feel for you and I hope that whoever hurt you bad enough to cause all this hate and these feelings is someone that you can forgive someday so that you can move on with oyour life. I’ll be praying for you.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b55501cead9a
@ Wife: I am 17. I have never been burned by a woman. However, I have encountered numerous neurotic feminized women which explains me being on this site. You do not have to touch fire to know that fire is hot, surely you have heard of this on the show? What the fuck. Stop rehashing the same “Oh I am the exception. I feel sorry for you” blah blah bullshit.
Dick isnt a victim, I am not a victim, the men on this site arent victims.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:41 am - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
All who come to the dark side come by lost love, only to linger in it’s memory.
May 11th, 2008 at 8:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
No friggin’ doubt. In most cases, women treat their cars like they treat their men. Men understand that you have to take car of something to keep it running well and doing what it’s supposed to be doing . Women just run things into the ground and it’s somebody else’s problem when it finally croaks after years of abuse: their cars, their relationships, you name it.