Parking. Fuck Off.
Do you know what it is to be a man? Being a man is getting out of your car, looking at your fucked up parking job, and then getting back in your car and parking it correctly.
Being a woman is what I saw about ten minutes ago. It’s pulling up to the curb like a drunken teenager, mashing your tire against the concrete like you’re humping a doorknob, and then getting out of your car whilst on a cell phone and letting someone else deal with the whole shit.
By someone else, I mean ’some man’, who is more than likely going to have to pay for that tire when it blows the fuck up.
Men are better drivers than woman. Think of driving like fucking. Men are better than woman at it in everyway. We men initiate it, we do all the fucking work (including paying for it), and we let everyone know when it’s done. Who gives a fuck what women think about when it’s done. That’s like a bus driver just walking around town telling banks it’s time to close up for the day. What the fuck does a bus driver know about banking?
Dick. And that’s exactly what women know about fucking and parking and also driving.
Women can’t park for shit. Have you ever watched a woman park? It hurts me in my balls. As a man I have these things called testicles and they fucking hurt when I have to watch a woman drive a 60,000 dollar something in between two other 60,000 dollar something’s. I can’t explain it. Science can’t explain it either because gonads are more scientifically advanced than anything that has ever been. I’m just telling you what hurts and where.
You know what else women suck at? Backing out of their parking spots.
I don’t know where in the fuck women get the idea into their heads that they should drive. They can’t. They can’t jump the very first fucking hurdle of that man-race, which is pulling out of and pulling into a parking spot. I’m going to state the very obvious for the sake of completeness right now. The big fucking cement shit that stops your car from rolling into the beauty parlor or the food market (which is commonly called a curb) is imaginary. That’s right. It’s imaginary — to men at least. Any man will pull up to a curb and use that as a suggestion.
“Maybe now is a good time to stop my fucking car,” a man will say whilst humping a doorknob. “Maybe I’ve driven as close to this bullshit boutique as someone can get.”
Well you have. Now get the fuck out and look at the five inch dent you just put in your tire. Five inches is huge. If anyone tells you it isn’t, ask them how they’d feel about a five inch stick of TNT exploding in their cat’s butthole.
Probably they wouldn’t feel good about it. Fuck you, women shouldn’t drive.
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October 4th, 2006 at 5:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea
hm one thing i can agree with [men being better drivers than women]. idk about the whole parking thing…
October 4th, 2006 at 6:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Well, probably quite a bit… if he’s a man.
And Dick didn’t even have to mention women and parallel parking. That’s a whole other can of worms.
-wolfe
October 4th, 2006 at 7:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7b7ac5fc27ee1
Sheesh, watching a woman parallel park would give a man prostate cancer.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
How about women start showing a degree of their famous, bountiful and unabridged empathy towards their cars or, better still, other people’s cars they happen to be driving, not to mention some man’s wallet somewhere.
I’ve driven a car that’s been tormented by a lady driver for only just 40 thous. k since brand new before I took it over. The clutch disk was off to hell, it burnt 11 litres to the hundred, drive belt worn to bloody hell as well and it would habitually jump out of gear for no fucking reason.
Just watch a woman change gears in your car, Dick. That ought to have you laying quietly on your side all curled up for a good few minutes. The way they jerk and erk the stick shift and prod the accelerator to bloody hell while resting on the clutch pedal. Murder.
-Women and driving. (mutually exclusive)
October 5th, 2006 at 4:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 731ced04c4ed5
Women are not only self-serving, selfish and self-centered, but also lousy drivers, something that has always been obvious to males. But as usual the little “pririvleged princess” still needs convincing.
“The latest available Home Office statistics show British women account for an increasing share of nearly all types of traffic conviction — especially speeding. In six years from 1996 to 2002 the proportion of women convicted for speeding rose by more than half to 17% of the national total of 124,600. An increased proportion of women were also convicted for drink-driving, driving without insurance, neglect of traffic signs and pedestrian rights, as well as parking offences.”
” Other experts say the reasons may not just be aggressiveness. Andrew Howard, the head of road safety at the AA Motoring Trust, says speed cameras are catching fast women who previously got away with it.”
“A greater percentage of the people being caught by cameras are women, because cameras are indiscriminate,� he says. “Women can’t flutter their eyelashes at a speed camera. It used to be that policemen would pull over only the worst offenders, who all tended to be men. Now, if you go at 36mph the camera will get you.�
“The study, due to be published shortly in the American scientific press, is loaded with psychometric jargon but its implications are inescapable. Women, it found, exhibited high levels of hostility, sensation seeking, susceptibility to boredom, and competitiveness. The behaviour of the American women appeared to be fuelled by hostility (“I’m in a hurry. Move it or lose it,â€? was the typical attitude).”
October 5th, 2006 at 6:18 am - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
you are all full of shit - i can drive well and fast and precisely and safely, and not necessarily in that order - my stick shift(s) has never complained about the way it was handled - and i almost never say never, but in this case i’m fucking saying never because i mean n-e-v-e-r.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 68cb7479382dc
Sure you can honey. You keep telling yourself that. Now, run along. Men are talking.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:31 am - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
“run along” because i’ve heard all your crap before…gladly.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Ooops. A certain panty’s on the rag, it seems.
October 5th, 2006 at 7:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 4144eb2ce5005
Why would your stick shift(s) complain to you? What would be the point? It would save it for the first mechanic, who would be a man of course, so the problem could be fixed quickly, efficiently and with no fuss without e-v-e-r involving an airhead in the process.
October 5th, 2006 at 8:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 53c6959990f7f
What really chaps my ass is that women get a discount when they are younger because apparently young males are more of a driving risk so are charged a premium.
However, we all know that when women hit 14 they stop maturing and developing mentally and have reached the peak of their driving prowess.
Yet, insurance companies won’t charge a premium after the teen years because that would be sexist.
To recap:
Women suck at driving but are slightly better than young men driving so don’t have to pay a premium.
When the tables turn around 25, men and women are charged the same (even though women clearly drive very poorly and have more tickets and more accidents based on total driving time) since that would be sexist.
I find it hilarious that women get more tickets for speeding, especially knowing that it would probably be a lot more tickets except for the fact that they probably sucked off a cop here or there to get out of one.
October 5th, 2006 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
I don’t believe it’s ever been done. I could be wrong, but I’m not.
-Dick
October 5th, 2006 at 10:14 am - IP Man-Hash: fecff644282fd
Agree 100%!
I would like to add, the “Stop Sign”. Has anyone noticed what women do at stop signs?
Its sort of like the attention thing. Everytime I get to a 4 way or 3 way stop sign where a women is already at an adjacent corner, she will stay there untill I look her in the eye??!!!
Now in case you dont get it, she had plenty of time to go, she would be already at the stop sign while I was approaching… but she stays there untill I make eye contact, then I have to fucking wait as she finnally crosses the fucking road!
If that wasnt bad enough, guess what else the bitches usually do.. once I do make eye contact (becasue Im wondering why the fuck their still sitting there), they usually roll their eyes or give me some other impatient look??!!
Its so unbelievable to me that women go thru so much bullshit for attention, they should be chained to the fucking kitchen and let out only with a “man guide” so they dont cause any more shit.
Dutch~
October 5th, 2006 at 10:43 am - IP Man-Hash: d9b4b6559b80b
Hey, Dutch. Look here for a bit more insight to your worries.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: d3a8a9b2dfe46
For years, I have always said “….women and machines don’t mix” especially if that machine is capable of taking a life. (guns, vehicles hell even ATMs) I guess that’s why there are no women pilots for commercial jet liners. Hell, every day would be 9/11 if women were allowed to fly jet liners.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0da82aefb99ab
Female Pilots in the Airline Industry
(major U.S. airlines only as of June 2002)
Total number of U.S. airline pilots – More than 30,000
Total number of female U.S. airline pilots – Approximately 3,345
Total number of female U.S. airline captains – Approximately 740
October 5th, 2006 at 12:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
There are(not sure there are actually any captains though). Just not in statistically significant numbers.
However, that barely holds a candle to the ultimate travesty ever committed. Women captains of a vessels - skippers.
Who but a woman to trample on millennial sacred naval tradition with utterly no fucking regard for anything but her own, simpleton, obtuse selfishness and attention whoring and idiotic ambitions.
Shuddering with disgust. Not a a thought I want to dwell on.