Women Ruining Television
Women queer every deal that they’re apart of and they watch shit for television.
That’s not me coming at you with a dose of truth. That’s 84-year-old, legendary BBC television presenter Sir Patrick Moore.
“I was in hospital once and I watched a whole episode of Eastenders. I suppose it’s true to life. But so is diarrhea — and I don’t want to see that on television” - Sir Patrick Moore
Neither do I, Sir Patrick. Unless it’s on House.
For those of you who don’t know, Eastenders is a show for women and it fucking sucks.
Women have ruined television. They’ve infected sports with female sideline commentators who don’t wear bikinis and talk like someone just punched them in the throat. They’re eating up valuable time slots with shit programming and valuable numbers on the dial with shit networks. And they’ve soured Star Trek and Barbarian shows with emotionless school marm’s and beefy dominatrixes who belong at the salad bar. Hercules was an awesome show because Lucy Lui ruined it with her shitty spin off.
Television is flawed and fucked and let me tell you why. I’m also going to tell you what you can do to fix it. Don’t worry, it’s not some girly petition or exercise in bitchy letter writing. Writing letters has never accomplished shit. That’s what war is for.
The flaw with television is that a TV show doesn’t have to compete with other TV shows for your attention. If that were the case, every show on television would be a ground-breaking comedy or a gripping drama that would either have you pissing your pants or leave you in a daze, spellbound and tearfully calling loved ones or thanking Christ you’re exactly who you are. That’s not the case though is it.
Television is flawed because it has to compete with women and their immature attitudes and their shitty senses of everything. While television is benevolently beaming entertainment into your house and all over your face in 1080 pixels or whatever they are, there’s a good chance some obnoxious want-wit cunt is sitting somewhere near you complaining for attention.
“This show is boring!”
“Law and Order again!”
“Nicholas Cage thinks he’s so great!”
“Cartoons are stupid.”
You’re stupid. Shut the fuck up.
You can’t say that in response to everything a woman says though. You can, obviously. You’re a man, you can do whatever you want. But if you do, you’ll have no time for anything else. Women don’t have any self respect. Tell them to shut the fuck up and they’ll talk to you even more. They’ll say something even stupider just to hear it again. It’s like you’re giving a dog a piece of bacon and then holding a plateful over its head. Women are that fucking annoying Simon game, except every button you press makes the same shitty sound — and so does the OFF switch.
So what does television do to shut women up? According to Sir Patrick Moore, television introduces shitty programming designed to titillate the insane and childish fancies of women for half the time, and the intellectual, sophisticated male palettes the other half of the time.
Wear jeans with a tuxedo jacket or throw up all over yourself during your college graduation. That’s exactly what happens when you take something as dumb and classless as women and their humor and combine it with something educated and highly-developed like what appeals to the male man-brain. You get something that’s fucked.
Every single bit of programming on television is half fucked and bent backwards for the entertainment of women. The News is fucked because of every little giggle and “am I doing a good job, Daddy?” expression the female anchors give their stouty male counterparts. Serious dramas are fucked for every piece of inexplicable eye candy and juvenile subplot shoved down our throats to keep women entertained. Sitcoms are fucked and boring because women get frightened when the scenery changes more than twice in an episode.
That time when Friends went to London and Chandler and Monica had sex? Ten women had heart attacks because of that. They thought Joey was going to get hit by a car going in “the wrong direction”. Guess America will never see London on television again.
Women and their Nature of Ruin have ruined television. Thank you, Sir Patrick Moore. I wish I had a higher honorarium than knight to bestow on you for speaking the truth about this. Amen, sir. Amen.
I’ll tell you what you can do to help fix this problem though. All problems can be fixed if you have a penis. That’s what God intended you to do with it.
Go to a baby store and buy one of those brightly colored flashing globe things you’re supposed to hang over cribs. Now glue it to the top of the television and watch whatever the fuck you want. No woman will be able to escape the pull of the brightly illuminated colors. Women have moth shit in their skulls.
Super Sir Patrick Moore Says Men Are Better Than Women
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May 9th, 2007 at 1:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 38048b223ae2b
The Simple Life, The Hills, I Love New York, everything on E, fucking The Real OC. That’s just America, folks.
May 9th, 2007 at 2:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 0393e6d40aa57
It’s rare that the linked article is even better than what Dick posts, but he is indeed Super Sir Patrick Moore:
What a manly and generous (of course generous, being a man). Give the women a transmitter, a studio and some shiny beads, and their own broadcast frequency. I’m thinking something above the EHF band, sub 1mm wavelengths.
-wolfe
May 9th, 2007 at 7:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 4136c1534ed3c
It amazes me that men create everything worthwhile like, well everything. Then the females come demanding to be a part of the leadership and some pussified males give into them. It probably has to do with the sponsors, since they love how foolish women are about spending. BBC is completely ruined by women.
May 9th, 2007 at 7:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 755a3db651274
Which is why men invented the internet.
As pretty as 1080 is, a low quality HDTV still costs $600 minimum and all I’d watch is Yankees games and American football and some History channel with some Fuse sprinkled in.
Of course, most cable and satellite companies “beautiful 1080 resolution” in the US is compressed trash that is nothing close to 1080. Why? Because the individual channel executives would rather have 3 to 4 channels of standard definition “Womanese 24/7″ than manly shit in HD.
The internet will never be “womanized” because women are too dumb and too lazy to be on a computer more than 5 minutes to rant hate on some website like this or check their email to get wet to the other man’s messages.
May 9th, 2007 at 8:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
The internet is becoming womanised. First, take a look at all these man-hating websites. Then get really drunk and proceed to take a look at myspace.
May 9th, 2007 at 11:08 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
Hear, hear, Dick. You pegged it.
In my humble estimation, there is absolutely nothing worthwhile on American daytime TV with the exception of occasional afternoon sports games and Star Trek re-runs. The rest of the time is filled with inane female chatter.
Nighttime TV isn’t much better. Baseball games are only three hours long, and one can watch only so many cartoons before they become wearisome.
Justin, I agree with you about E! with the exception of one show. For American viewers, I recommend a show called “The Soup”. Most of the shows it makes fun of are chick shows, which is clearly no coincidence. They could be much more snide and it would still be funny.
May 9th, 2007 at 11:39 am - IP Man-Hash: faacad5ba033d
It’s pretty much a moot point for me since the only TV shows I watch anymore are The Shield, The Sopranos, and 24. If they’re not being aired I just buy the DVD’s.
May 9th, 2007 at 1:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: bcb277cff358c
I torrent all the TV shows I watch ( Heroes, Robot Chicken, CSI, etc )
and watch what I WANT.. WHEN I WANT.. with no commericals and stream it to my big manly TV from a little computer I setup.
Works like a charm!
FUCK YOU CRAPPY TV SHOWS!!
Nothing on anymore but Reality TV shows and legions of stupid women watching other women kill themselves to get famous.
LAME
May 9th, 2007 at 2:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb0193ec17432
Question: Is this chick typical? Here’s a clip from her “favorite” TV shows. I’m curious because because I’ve only seen one of them - CSI.
Prison Break, Y&R, 24, CSI MIAMI, American Chopper, A&E, Forensic Science, Funny home videos; just for laughs and Holmes on Homes!!!! American Idol, Crossing Jordan and I LOVE UFC! HUGE FAN.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 53b9c119e85f9
24 is the best show ever.
May 9th, 2007 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: faacad5ba033d
When Prison Break was promoted I really looked forward to getting into it. I think I made it roughly half-way through the pilot episode, to about the third or fourth hardened felon waxing on like a philosophy professor discussing 17 century prose. At that point I could no longer see the television as I was rolling around on the floor clutching my sides. The tears in my eyes would have blurred the picture anyway. Oh, and I’ve discovered that it’s humanly impossible to sit through an entire episode of Crossing Jordan, no matter how badly you may want to bone Jill Hennessey.
May 9th, 2007 at 4:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1efed18bc64f6
The Soup is the only positive experience I’ve ever had while a female possessed the remote.
May 9th, 2007 at 7:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 926a1904cecf2
Whenever a female tells me “OH MY GOD, you should watch ________ its a great show.” I automatically put it in my black list. Also, I never watch a show in which the introduction isn’t hard rock, small arms fire, and series of explosions or aren’t titled in the genre “Worlds _____est ____.” Unless I know the show’s funny as fuck.
May 9th, 2007 at 8:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6ec6c2ab6784a
Watching 24 is like watching a Soap Opera with guns and torture. Except it fucking sucks.
May 9th, 2007 at 9:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: faacad5ba033d
I don’t know. Guns and torture in your average soap opera sounds like a grand idea to me.
May 9th, 2007 at 9:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 760a91233a652
Yes. When I was a kid, I used to fantasize about breaking two concepts in half and taping them back together. Take, for instance, StarCraft and Barney, GoldenEye and Nick Junior, etc.
Well, returning to that concept, what say Sex In the City and World in Conflict?
The girls are all gabbing about tampons and shit, when suddenly, reality comes home. I’d like to see their reactions, or lack thereof. Perhaps a real war, not just a panzy little “War of the Sexes” where the men have to be nice and act stunned at every little slutty thing Suzy does or else… nothing will happen except him keeping his pride and having a greater chance of experiencing the male orgasm…
Or what of Dead Rising and the Lifetime Channel? The empowered girls might find themselves either quite dead or a bit discounted. Not many people would be thinking of sex when they’re fighting for their lives, so… ladies first wouldn’t really apply if you’re picking a squad of five or six to escape the parimetor, or however many you can support. What fun, the joys of girlhood, eh?
I’d like to see some of those petticoat punishment sites stripped of the chilvarious bullshit. Chivalry? During the middle ages, a girl would be killed for wearing some of that stupid shit girls wear today… and they say there’s something called chivalry.
I’m a man, and you as a girl are far from better than me or even on my level. I’ll do what I want, and if it pisses you off that you can’t control me little whore, tough shit, because I am smarter, bigger, and stronger than you, so it’s really nice of me not to impose MY will on you.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 796c1d8aebfd3
women suck
May 10th, 2007 at 4:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 422940479a69d
Another offset of women and TV is how childrens presenters are now more likely to be viewed as ‘paedophiles’ then people doing something good for kids.
May 10th, 2007 at 5:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Sots, that hurt. 24 is an awesome show, but it is not perfect. I will concede that it has been watered down with some rather pussified sub-plots to appease the feminine demographic, but the action considerably drowns that shit out.
May 10th, 2007 at 5:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 6ec6c2ab6784a
I guess we have different tolerances then for “feminine subplots”. I never watched 24 till I saw reruns of the 2006 season where the President is trying to have Jack killed. I watched all of those.
These newest ones, I watch 5 minutes and I want to vomit. Maybe it mas more to due do with being a former government employee and knowing it’s all bs?
May 10th, 2007 at 7:48 am - IP Man-Hash: eb0193ec17432
Good point, Son
I am in the same boat (former gov’t dude) and cannot stand to watch anything remotely approaching “officialdom.” All bullshit.
May 10th, 2007 at 8:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Of course it is all bullshit, but then again, its television entertainment. You can’t expect even 1% of it to be plausible. It’s like professional wrestling with bombs n’ shit. (note to self, stop being slightly hypocritical, diamatik. You know you hate professional wrestling, so you shouldn’t be comparing you favourite show to it)
May 10th, 2007 at 6:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: a195d2c8d4a47
Dick, what do you think of the show “Brainiac”? We get it here in the States on cable on a channel whose demographic is predominantly young men who like to play video games, and by extension I suppose also like to blow shit up. (Well, that’s most young men.)
I’d give it a 85 out of 100. The hosts are interesting, the chicks are easy on the eyes, they seem actually to know some basic science (unlike the idiots on “Mythbusters” — not sure if you get that in your parts) and they shoot guns and blow stuff up. 15 points off because sometimes they set up biased experiments that make the chick look like she comes out ahead, but I think that’s just so they can keep the few chicks who watch interested in the show.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
I have never heard of “Brainiac”. Sounds interesting.
That also proves my point about women ruining all television programming no matter what.
-Dick
May 10th, 2007 at 11:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I don’t see how the people at mb are at all dolts. Crazy is somewhat accurate, though.
Did you see the one when they made a trebuchet by hoisting a mobile crane inverted inbetween two container stacks?
Course, it all catastrophically failed first deployment then toppled in on itself cause of weak welds(one of the two women on the show).
Or the one when they made a rocket with boloney as fuel that blew on the pad?
Really, your average mb is worth bout a season of brainiac and a few eons of Richard Hammond.
Some of the subject matter is even conspicuously coincidentally ‘borrowed’ and rather weak. The duck’s quack echo inquiry, for example.
Though if caravans exploding repetitiously is your thing…
- Locomondo - Liubi, Liubi, I Love You
May 11th, 2007 at 1:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 796c1d8aebfd3
big brother is another fukedup show
May 11th, 2007 at 5:49 am - IP Man-Hash: d96822bdf027c
Watching 24 is like watching a Soap Opera with guns and torture. Except it fucking sucks.
You’re both right. It used to be intelligent, fast-paced and really fucking brutal until the usual group of weepy tender-hearted whiners started griping and moaning until it became the watered down (but still highly watchable) show that it is now. I wouldn’t put money on its future though, especially since they seem to be running out of ideas.
In other news water wet\heat hot etc.
May 11th, 2007 at 7:07 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Well duh. I mean, what the fuck man.
May 12th, 2007 at 3:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 8699c793f94a3
i totally dnt agree with this site! wat ur sayin bout women is really disrespectful and i am a man who believes in rights for all women. i have a beautiful wife with 4 daughters and i love the and dnt want them to grow to think that they are nothing and can be controlled by men. you make me sick!
May 12th, 2007 at 3:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 06f49736fc819
No married man with four daughters writes like that. You’re not fooling anybody here, missy.
May 12th, 2007 at 2:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 577a9c1ab2466
No married man with four daughters writes like that. You’re not fooling anybody here, missy.
That was so transparent I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.
May 12th, 2007 at 2:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: a195d2c8d4a47
My dismissive attitude towards mb is due largely to the episode where they challenged Tesla’s claim that he could have brought down a steel frame building with a small electromagnetic oscillator attached to a girder. I was annoyed that even though Tesla provided detailed drawings and specifications, they tried to replicate it on a budget and totally failed to follow his directions.
It all makes for good TV (especially to poorly educated young American males who think they’re watching science at work), but damn it, if you’re going to challenge Tesla, don’t act like an know-it-all ass.
(Actually, at the end of the episode, the DID prove that the technology was sound and if they pursued it further, it would have proved Tesla correct.)
Didn’t see the trebuchet or the boloney rocket, but both sound pretty awesome. I will give you that: Their explosions are much less repetitious than Brainiac’s which I admit does feature way too many exploding caravans, albeit often multicolored. (The different colored explosions are a novelty, but I’d like to see an exploding rock pile, just to see how far the rubble will scatter.)
May 30th, 2007 at 9:11 am - IP Man-Hash: ce59e47cd7ecb
I stopped watching TV years ago. I watch shit on the net, or get movies. Other than that I just… wait a minute, it doesn’t matter. lol.
I read on the news (online obviously) that the latest Big Blubba is going to be all fucking bitches, including some that actually admit their feminists. Oh yeah, another piece of shit show I’m not going to waste time watching. That’s time I could spend getting pissed with the lads.
Priorities, priorities…
June 26th, 2007 at 7:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 0edc87a160c4c
We need on big brother a dom who knows and understands that women are pretty much worthless but make great slaves. And another thing if women did not rule mens dicks then guess what we could have all women skinny or how you like your women and naked.
December 13th, 2007 at 11:55 am - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
Women do have sophisticated taste in television.
We don’t all watch Grey’s Anatomy followed by Lifetime.
Television also is forced to cater to the male mind, filling television with violence, fights, idiocracy, sex, and immature jokes lined with cursing.
Look at Spike, all it is is immature violence.
I agree with opinions on the stereotyped television shows for women, such as Oprah, Lifetime, Dr.Phil, I personally hate all of those shows, and the only time I watch Lifetime is to have a good laugh at their dramas.
If Dick does not want to watch The Golden Girls, then he simply has to change the channel
December 13th, 2007 at 11:55 am - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
Women do have sophisticated taste in television.
We don’t all watch Grey’s Anatomy followed by Lifetime.
Television also is forced to cater to the male mind, filling television with violence, fights, idiocracy, sex, and immature jokes lined with cursing.
Look at Spike, all it is is immature violence.
I agree with opinions on the stereotyped television shows for women, such as Oprah, Lifetime, Dr.Phil, I personally hate all of those shows, and the only time I watch Lifetime is to have a good laugh at their dramas.
If Dick does not want to watch The Golden Girls, then he simply has to change the channel
December 13th, 2007 at 11:56 am - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
I would like to make a correction on my first sentence, which is that some women have sophisticated taste, I shouldn’t say all
December 13th, 2007 at 1:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8e86de744d7eb
But most can’t follow rules or keep thier mouths shut when they are asked to. Like here on the front page it clearly say “no women allowed.” You’ve had your spill like a dog puking up roadkill now fukoff.
hammer time
December 13th, 2007 at 1:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46bafd48af0c5
TV was, whether you like it or not, made for both men AND women’s pleasures. Since men and women typically have different interest, there are different shows that can benifit each gender. Just because you don’t LIKE something, does not mean that it is total BS. If you think that there are way to many girly shows on, do what my father did and get comcast digital cable. Thats what ondemand is for anyways:)
December 13th, 2007 at 1:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
Exactly
There is a simple solution
Change the channel
December 13th, 2007 at 1:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8e86de744d7eb
We can’t change the channel because you little girls are still on it.
Now go away because you’re not wanted here.
Attention whores.
You’ve had your spill like a dog puking up roadkill now fukoff.
December 13th, 2007 at 2:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46bafd48af0c5
Get another TV, and get comcast digital cable… like I just said.
December 13th, 2007 at 2:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46bafd48af0c5
Oh, and I frogot, how can YOU call ME a whore when I haven’t even held hands with a single guy yet? Now, I do know that you couldn’t possibley know that, but still… please don’t say things that you dont know are for sure.
December 13th, 2007 at 2:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8e86de744d7eb
The fact is you’re here which is breakign the rules.
I can’t this channel and expect you not to be here.
I think you’re too young to be here anyways.
Attention whore is a woman who seeks attention like you are doing here. All women are whores in some manner.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c990b50515ba
Dear Dick.
It was not “Lucy Lui” that came and fucked up the awesome show Hercules.
It was in fact the other whore Lucy Lawless.
Thank you.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7d418e416fdba
I may be picking the wrong details out of this but…
what’s wrong with wearing a tuxedo jacket with jeans? I Do it all the time…