Women Ruining Television
Women queer every deal that they’re apart of and they watch shit for television.
That’s not me coming at you with a dose of truth. That’s 84-year-old, legendary BBC television presenter Sir Patrick Moore.
“I was in hospital once and I watched a whole episode of Eastenders. I suppose it’s true to life. But so is diarrhea — and I don’t want to see that on television” - Sir Patrick Moore
Neither do I, Sir Patrick. Unless it’s on House.
For those of you who don’t know, Eastenders is a show for women and it fucking sucks.
Women have ruined television. They’ve infected sports with female sideline commentators who don’t wear bikinis and talk like someone just punched them in the throat. They’re eating up valuable time slots with shit programming and valuable numbers on the dial with shit networks. And they’ve soured Star Trek and Barbarian shows with emotionless school marm’s and beefy dominatrixes who belong at the salad bar. Hercules was an awesome show because Lucy Lui ruined it with her shitty spin off.
Television is flawed and fucked and let me tell you why. I’m also going to tell you what you can do to fix it. Don’t worry, it’s not some girly petition or exercise in bitchy letter writing. Writing letters has never accomplished shit. That’s what war is for.
The flaw with television is that a TV show doesn’t have to compete with other TV shows for your attention. If that were the case, every show on television would be a ground-breaking comedy or a gripping drama that would either have you pissing your pants or leave you in a daze, spellbound and tearfully calling loved ones or thanking Christ you’re exactly who you are. That’s not the case though is it.
Television is flawed because it has to compete with women and their immature attitudes and their shitty senses of everything. While television is benevolently beaming entertainment into your house and all over your face in 1080 pixels or whatever they are, there’s a good chance some obnoxious want-wit cunt is sitting somewhere near you complaining for attention.
“This show is boring!”
“Law and Order again!”
“Nicholas Cage thinks he’s so great!”
“Cartoons are stupid.”
You’re stupid. Shut the fuck up.
You can’t say that in response to everything a woman says though. You can, obviously. You’re a man, you can do whatever you want. But if you do, you’ll have no time for anything else. Women don’t have any self respect. Tell them to shut the fuck up and they’ll talk to you even more. They’ll say something even stupider just to hear it again. It’s like you’re giving a dog a piece of bacon and then holding a plateful over its head. Women are that fucking annoying Simon game, except every button you press makes the same shitty sound — and so does the OFF switch.
So what does television do to shut women up? According to Sir Patrick Moore, television introduces shitty programming designed to titillate the insane and childish fancies of women for half the time, and the intellectual, sophisticated male palettes the other half of the time.
Wear jeans with a tuxedo jacket or throw up all over yourself during your college graduation. That’s exactly what happens when you take something as dumb and classless as women and their humor and combine it with something educated and highly-developed like what appeals to the male man-brain. You get something that’s fucked.
Every single bit of programming on television is half fucked and bent backwards for the entertainment of women. The News is fucked because of every little giggle and “am I doing a good job, Daddy?” expression the female anchors give their stouty male counterparts. Serious dramas are fucked for every piece of inexplicable eye candy and juvenile subplot shoved down our throats to keep women entertained. Sitcoms are fucked and boring because women get frightened when the scenery changes more than twice in an episode.
That time when Friends went to London and Chandler and Monica had sex? Ten women had heart attacks because of that. They thought Joey was going to get hit by a car going in “the wrong direction”. Guess America will never see London on television again.
Women and their Nature of Ruin have ruined television. Thank you, Sir Patrick Moore. I wish I had a higher honorarium than knight to bestow on you for speaking the truth about this. Amen, sir. Amen.
I’ll tell you what you can do to help fix this problem though. All problems can be fixed if you have a penis. That’s what God intended you to do with it.
Go to a baby store and buy one of those brightly colored flashing globe things you’re supposed to hang over cribs. Now glue it to the top of the television and watch whatever the fuck you want. No woman will be able to escape the pull of the brightly illuminated colors. Women have moth shit in their skulls.
Super Sir Patrick Moore Says Men Are Better Than Women
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big brother is another fukedup show
I don’t see how the people at mb are at all dolts. Crazy is somewhat accurate, though.
Did you see the one when they made a trebuchet by hoisting a mobile crane inverted inbetween two container stacks?
Course, it all catastrophically failed first deployment then toppled in on itself cause of weak welds(one of the two women on the show).
Or the one when they made a rocket with boloney as fuel that blew on the pad?
Really, your average mb is worth bout a season of brainiac and a few eons of Richard Hammond.
Some of the subject matter is even conspicuously coincidentally ‘borrowed’ and rather weak. The duck’s quack echo inquiry, for example.
Though if caravans exploding repetitiously is your thing…
- Locomondo - Liubi, Liubi, I Love You
I have never heard of “Brainiac”. Sounds interesting.
That also proves my point about women ruining all television programming no matter what.
-Dick
Dick, what do you think of the show “Brainiac”? We get it here in the States on cable on a channel whose demographic is predominantly young men who like to play video games, and by extension I suppose also like to blow shit up. (Well, that’s most young men.)
I’d give it a 85 out of 100. The hosts are interesting, the chicks are easy on the eyes, they seem actually to know some basic science (unlike the idiots on “Mythbusters” — not sure if you get that in your parts) and they shoot guns and blow stuff up. 15 points off because sometimes they set up biased experiments that make the chick look like she comes out ahead, but I think that’s just so they can keep the few chicks who watch interested in the show.
Of course it is all bullshit, but then again, its television entertainment. You can’t expect even 1% of it to be plausible. It’s like professional wrestling with bombs n’ shit. (note to self, stop being slightly hypocritical, diamatik. You know you hate professional wrestling, so you shouldn’t be comparing you favourite show to it)
Good point, Son
I am in the same boat (former gov’t dude) and cannot stand to watch anything remotely approaching “officialdom.” All bullshit.
I guess we have different tolerances then for “feminine subplots”. I never watched 24 till I saw reruns of the 2006 season where the President is trying to have Jack killed. I watched all of those.
These newest ones, I watch 5 minutes and I want to vomit. Maybe it mas more to due do with being a former government employee and knowing it’s all bs?
Sots, that hurt. 24 is an awesome show, but it is not perfect. I will concede that it has been watered down with some rather pussified sub-plots to appease the feminine demographic, but the action considerably drowns that shit out.
Another offset of women and TV is how childrens presenters are now more likely to be viewed as ‘paedophiles’ then people doing something good for kids.
women suck
Yes. When I was a kid, I used to fantasize about breaking two concepts in half and taping them back together. Take, for instance, StarCraft and Barney, GoldenEye and Nick Junior, etc.
Well, returning to that concept, what say Sex In the City and World in Conflict?
The girls are all gabbing about tampons and shit, when suddenly, reality comes home. I’d like to see their reactions, or lack thereof. Perhaps a real war, not just a panzy little “War of the Sexes” where the men have to be nice and act stunned at every little slutty thing Suzy does or else… nothing will happen except him keeping his pride and having a greater chance of experiencing the male orgasm…
Or what of Dead Rising and the Lifetime Channel? The empowered girls might find themselves either quite dead or a bit discounted. Not many people would be thinking of sex when they’re fighting for their lives, so… ladies first wouldn’t really apply if you’re picking a squad of five or six to escape the parimetor, or however many you can support. What fun, the joys of girlhood, eh?
I’d like to see some of those petticoat punishment sites stripped of the chilvarious bullshit. Chivalry? During the middle ages, a girl would be killed for wearing some of that stupid shit girls wear today… and they say there’s something called chivalry.
I’m a man, and you as a girl are far from better than me or even on my level. I’ll do what I want, and if it pisses you off that you can’t control me little whore, tough shit, because I am smarter, bigger, and stronger than you, so it’s really nice of me not to impose MY will on you.
I don’t know. Guns and torture in your average soap opera sounds like a grand idea to me.
Watching 24 is like watching a Soap Opera with guns and torture. Except it fucking sucks.
Whenever a female tells me “OH MY GOD, you should watch ________ its a great show.” I automatically put it in my black list. Also, I never watch a show in which the introduction isn’t hard rock, small arms fire, and series of explosions or aren’t titled in the genre “Worlds _____est ____.” Unless I know the show’s funny as fuck.
The Soup is the only positive experience I’ve ever had while a female possessed the remote.
When Prison Break was promoted I really looked forward to getting into it. I think I made it roughly half-way through the pilot episode, to about the third or fourth hardened felon waxing on like a philosophy professor discussing 17 century prose. At that point I could no longer see the television as I was rolling around on the floor clutching my sides. The tears in my eyes would have blurred the picture anyway. Oh, and I’ve discovered that it’s humanly impossible to sit through an entire episode of Crossing Jordan, no matter how badly you may want to bone Jill Hennessey.
24 is the best show ever.
Question: Is this chick typical? Here’s a clip from her “favorite” TV shows. I’m curious because because I’ve only seen one of them - CSI.
Prison Break, Y&R, 24, CSI MIAMI, American Chopper, A&E, Forensic Science, Funny home videos; just for laughs and Holmes on Homes!!!! American Idol, Crossing Jordan and I LOVE UFC! HUGE FAN.
I torrent all the TV shows I watch ( Heroes, Robot Chicken, CSI, etc )
and watch what I WANT.. WHEN I WANT.. with no commericals and stream it to my big manly TV from a little computer I setup.
Works like a charm!
FUCK YOU CRAPPY TV SHOWS!!
Nothing on anymore but Reality TV shows and legions of stupid women watching other women kill themselves to get famous.
LAME
It’s pretty much a moot point for me since the only TV shows I watch anymore are The Shield, The Sopranos, and 24. If they’re not being aired I just buy the DVD’s.