Pets Are Not Children
Men are a lot like dogs. That’s right, that’s what I said. Talk to any woman about anything and eventually she’ll tell you exactly the same thing.
Men are dogs.
Of course, just like any other time a woman opens her mouth, she doesn’t have any fucking clue what she’s talking about. She’s right only because women vomit words from their mouths with such a frequency that eventually she has to be right, even though she’s probably contradicting something she’s just said, or possibly jibbering in a language she doesn’t know.
If men are dogs, then women are drunken parrots with The Home Shopping Network and a credit card on speed dial. That’s why men are better pet owners than women; because the only things women know how to do are squawk and peck.
Dogs are loyal, resourceful, and they have positive attitudes. They also don’t give a shit about being too clean because that is really neurotic and ruins the fuck out of the feel of an otherwise livable home.
What could be more man-like than that? Those kinds of man-traits, that men share with dogs as well as with all the other animals in the wild that have to make their own way instead of goldbricking on the couch day-in, day-out and conjuring up reasons why weddings are important enough to spend more than dick on — make men better pet owners than women. Hands down.
Let’s take a pet’s impact on others into account first. Because that’s how men behave. Rocking the boat is inappropriate unless it’s necessary to get the job done, and when owning a guinea pig or a Chihuahua it is fucking not.
How many times have you seen a dog in a sweater or in a purse? Probably not a lot, but when you did, you can bet your ass that a man didn’t do that. A man also has never had a bunch of pictures of his pets in his wallet or his Man Bag that he’s ready to whip out on the unsuspecting at a moment’s notice. Nor will a man tell stories about his pets that are not extremely humorous; because that’s a huge waste of everyone’s time.
That’s strike one for women, who will begin a show-and-tell tale at any random point over their pet’s lifeline and finish no one knows the fuck where because there’s no point to any of it anyway. No one gives a shit if the cat turns purple in the winter time or the hamster likes the raisins more than the sunflower seeds. Leave that kind of life sucking bullshit in the diary or the equally horseshit LiveJournal.
Here’s strike two. Pets are not babies. No matter how much women want everyone to think the pug in their lap has been brewing inside of them for nine months, it fucking hasn’t. It was a few hundred bucks and there’s like a billion of them. That means no one wants to see pictures of the ugly thing, no one wants to hear about baby’s first poop, and no agency is going to come haul anyone away if the fucker misses a few meals. It’s not a big deal.
I’m not even going to make the third point that men are better than women at being pet owners because men are better than women at taking care of things. Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women. Women who all complain about taking care of babies as often and as grandly as they can, like they’re all the Virgin fucking Mary — even if they don’t have any of their own! I don’t even know how that works.
It’s because taking care of babies or pets or classic cars comes naturally to us men. It’s our sixth sense. Our man sense. Our mighty man-empathy. The only thing women can empathize with is a cactus.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 22 … 17 16 15 14 13 [12] 11 10 9 8 7 … 1 » Show All
U SUCK thats all i have to say
Yet again ‘Dick’ makes a little contradiction. He mentions several times in his poorly designed webpage (contact me if you want help redesigning your layout-I’ve done it many times!) Oh, I just thought of something. I guarantee he’s thinking about making some comment about how women care about ‘layouts’ and ‘designs’. Get a life you freak.
Anyway, back to the little contradiction. He mentions many times, like I’ve said above, that women talk to much and women just spit out words that don’t make any sense, yada yada. When men have an issue, they generally keep it to themselves or find another way to feel better, like drinking or tearing down the earth with their mighty man hands. Women talk. We do not necessarily want advice. Just getting it out of our system is usually enough. Which brings my attention to the following:
‘Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women.’
Again, men resort to other ways to relieve stress. Women talk. I think I’d rather talk about it then drink myself into a pity or break something. Which makes more sense to you?
Also, women complain middle of the night feedinds and the crying because MEN DONT HELP. You couldn’t raise a child. Your an idiot. You have no facts to back up your claims, you don’t give straight answers. And your probably never going to have sex again because every woman on the planet now knows what a jackass you are. So good luck ever reproducing.
Dick is just angry because his mom didn’t take good care of him when he was little.
“I don’t even think pets like being “pampered”, thats what women call it.
All my dog loves is going for rides in my truck and climbing trees to catch squirrels.When the whole dog sweater fad came out, I decided to try it, i openly admit it. I bought my Jack Russell Terrier a red sweater. When it was on, he gave me such a look. He looked so pathetic. I took it off, and let him tear it up. I couldn’t put my dog through that embarrassment.
When Paris Hilton lost her dog, Tinker Bell, I was praying that they would find Tinker Bell ripped apart in some guy’s front yard by his German Shepherds.”
so lets get this right here you are cursing women out for treating pets like children and how they hate to be pampered. You on the other hand would wish a dog to be torn to bits by another one, wonder which the dog would prefer. hmm
to be pampered - to be torn to bits, pampered - torn to bits, parmpered - torn
Now you tell me. I wasn’t aware it was legal to kill a baby by anyone at all. I would have gone ahead with the sex-reassignment surgery if I had only known…
Have you never heard of an abortion? Fool..!
LMAO…the first step is getting these bitches to stop sucking the MTV tit for sustanance…that’s the real problem
Children are not pets.
typo
Yeh totally agree with this. Think its sickening the way some women treat their pets like children, they do it to get love and respect from things that are capable or rational thought and reasoning.
Perhaps us men should treat women like We treat pets- with dominance, understanding and affection, whilst a man can show affections to their pets they will still not let them overstep their boundaries through this….I think too many men have let there women do this in the past and now we are get a proverbial bite on backside for looking after them so well. Like a dog if you let a women overstep their boundaries and they have no rules to live by then they usually become unruly and irrational and can often be a harm to themselve and others.
I love animals and I love women, they should just know their place is all.
I was at a football game this past weekend, and I saw a teenage girl that had a baby kitten wrapped up in a towel, feeding it through a baby bottle. At a football game. Just thought I’d share.
I don’t even think pets like being “pampered”, thats what women call it.
All my dog loves is going for rides in my truck and climbing trees to catch squirrels.When the whole dog sweater fad came out, I decided to try it, i openly admit it. I bought my Jack Russell Terrier a red sweater. When it was on, he gave me such a look. He looked so pathetic. I took it off, and let him tear it up. I couldn’t put my dog through that embarrassment.
When Paris Hilton lost her dog, Tinker Bell, I was praying that they would find Tinker Bell ripped apart in some guy’s front yard by his German Shepherds.
The women who carry their dog in their purses only do it to draw attention to themselves. The dog is an accessory to make the women look better. The women who carry dogs only carry them as a statement “Hey look at me, i have a dog. Pay attention to me, or else”
i said it a whole 3 times buddy dont have a bitch fit, oh and “lol lol lol lol” what are you gonna do, its not your site its dicks, i guess p coderch was justified for not liking you, cause you hate on other men for no reason…like a woman would do to another woman. Anyways take care wolfe
No, we’ll say learn to write sentences. And stop using “lol”.
-wolfe
Lol J reminds me of that one person that everybody knows in their life, that annoys people purposely just to get a few laughs, and may i say you guys are falling right into it too lol although i must say when J tends to post somethin seriously or with a bit of detail, it doesnt make much sense at times (yes yes i know you guys will say “Correction, she never does” lol.)
Why don’t you just fuck off? Would that not be a better solution for you than the scary anecdotal evidence irrebuttably attested to by ALL the non-Ydef posters here?
Do you really believe anyone here even gives a shit you might be “disenchanted” by what-fuckin-ever? Hang on, hang on, hang on!!…let ME field that one…Oh Oh Oh….OK. Tell the whore to fuck off! Stupid horseshit opinions are not wanted here.
Are you getting the idea, whore?
I tell you, it’s lucky I’m being sympathetic to your retarded Y-deficient disabled fuckwit-edness. Otherwise I would not be so lenient with your absolutely ridiculous stupid shit comment.
By the way, ad-hominem comments from you don’t make us cry. Try comments that actually fucking mean something relevant.
Have a nice, fucking, day. Slut. (you know you are).
Oh, by the way, fuck off.
Mansman tells you the advice you need to know. I’ts because I care.
Words out, baby!
You know what would shut you up for good? My cock in your mouth!
Believe me, you wouldn’t be wearing shortie-skirts and playing the facade of superiority after that!
Or the events leading up to it. Hey, someone has to break you out of the in-crowd mold, even if it kind of breaks you as well. All the better for the world, I say. You’re just a trivial bit of foreskin when it comes to everyone else’s well-being - if you’re so disenchanted with your life that you can’t leave the house, it means one less vote for Hitler.
And I’m sure the lack of your presence would be a sacrifice we’d all be willing to make. After all, if we miss you, we could always visit a ratty street corner to see a few more of those Brittneys and Parises who didn’t quite make it.
HAHAHAHAHA. You trying to be funny, little bitch? Suck it up… or suck me up… bitch.
Wow! I’m impressed. Such big words! I’m so proud of you!
I wasn’t sure you knew how to find your way back to hell, so I was going to offer to walk with you! Darn the luck!
You appear to be under the illusion that anyone gives a shit. You know what happens when smelly old dirt doesn’t have a seed? It just sits around and does nothing.
Men, on the other hand, are the ones who learned how to clone animals, and eventually human beings.
See you in hell at your shelf life of 21,
Doubtfish