Pets Are Not Children

Men are a lot like dogs. That’s right, that’s what I said. Talk to any woman about anything and eventually she’ll tell you exactly the same thing.

Men are dogs.

Of course, just like any other time a woman opens her mouth, she doesn’t have any fucking clue what she’s talking about. She’s right only because women vomit words from their mouths with such a frequency that eventually she has to be right, even though she’s probably contradicting something she’s just said, or possibly jibbering in a language she doesn’t know.

If men are dogs, then women are drunken parrots with The Home Shopping Network and a credit card on speed dial. That’s why men are better pet owners than women; because the only things women know how to do are squawk and peck.

Dogs are loyal, resourceful, and they have positive attitudes. They also don’t give a shit about being too clean because that is really neurotic and ruins the fuck out of the feel of an otherwise livable home.

What could be more man-like than that? Those kinds of man-traits, that men share with dogs as well as with all the other animals in the wild that have to make their own way instead of goldbricking on the couch day-in, day-out and conjuring up reasons why weddings are important enough to spend more than dick on — make men better pet owners than women. Hands down.

Let’s take a pet’s impact on others into account first. Because that’s how men behave. Rocking the boat is inappropriate unless it’s necessary to get the job done, and when owning a guinea pig or a Chihuahua it is fucking not.

How many times have you seen a dog in a sweater or in a purse? Probably not a lot, but when you did, you can bet your ass that a man didn’t do that. A man also has never had a bunch of pictures of his pets in his wallet or his Man Bag that he’s ready to whip out on the unsuspecting at a moment’s notice. Nor will a man tell stories about his pets that are not extremely humorous; because that’s a huge waste of everyone’s time.

That’s strike one for women, who will begin a show-and-tell tale at any random point over their pet’s lifeline and finish no one knows the fuck where because there’s no point to any of it anyway. No one gives a shit if the cat turns purple in the winter time or the hamster likes the raisins more than the sunflower seeds. Leave that kind of life sucking bullshit in the diary or the equally horseshit LiveJournal.

Here’s strike two. Pets are not babies. No matter how much women want everyone to think the pug in their lap has been brewing inside of them for nine months, it fucking hasn’t. It was a few hundred bucks and there’s like a billion of them. That means no one wants to see pictures of the ugly thing, no one wants to hear about baby’s first poop, and no agency is going to come haul anyone away if the fucker misses a few meals. It’s not a big deal.

I’m not even going to make the third point that men are better than women at being pet owners because men are better than women at taking care of things. Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women. Women who all complain about taking care of babies as often and as grandly as they can, like they’re all the Virgin fucking Mary — even if they don’t have any of their own! I don’t even know how that works.

It’s because taking care of babies or pets or classic cars comes naturally to us men. It’s our sixth sense. Our man sense. Our mighty man-empathy. The only thing women can empathize with is a cactus.

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455 Comments in 425 threads.»

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Comment by Eves
2008-04-11 02:11:52 - IP Man-Hash: b9ac6563a7d56

I have to confess. First off, i am a woman. second off..this is fuckin hilarious. wether or not this site is a joke.. i dont know.. but i will say, male supremecy is defiantely king in my world. But then… so many of you are oh-so-vanilla. Im sorry… first off to ‘disboeying rules’ but this site was just good to deny.. a whole site dedicated to male supremecy. To one in particular, i must say, truely and honestly, congratulations… you have, single handedly, made the entire world see what it ought to be. my Master will thank you someday.

`eve

 
Comment by F.M Humrue
2008-04-09 07:47:40 - IP Man-Hash: 5b0f90ec58ada

Sgt. Reyes said:

AMikk369 said:

Sgt. Reyes said:

KL said:

Reyes is a disgrace to Marines everywhere. Not all of them are like him thank god.

Actually, all of them are lean killing machines who generally like to fight, fuck, drink and kill. Don’t see many of them feeling sorry for apthetic bitches like you or any bitch for that matter.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

- Sgt. Reyes

LOL! Such a moron.

Who. KL? You got that right.

- Sgt. Reyes

Sgt. Reyes, this is Field Marshal Humrue, which platoon are you stationed with and why are you being such a dick to women?
The only consolation I can have is the fact that Dick Masterson is going to either die a virgin, or be killed by thousands of angry women.

And Reyes, Stop stereotyping our soldiers, dipshit.

 
Comment by Sam
2008-04-07 13:27:01 - IP Man-Hash: 6d4074b1566f1

My dog bit a fucking snake in half and ate it.

Thats a story.

 
Comment by Wim
2008-04-07 01:22:53 - IP Man-Hash: 3c3ca5120d047

Damn, Dick I think you’re gay but sometimes you write seriously cool shit!

 
Comment by Toohot4uboys
2008-04-06 23:09:31 - IP Man-Hash: 105b9136f157d

I don’t fuck niggers!

 
Comment by kuntvomit
2008-04-06 18:57:42 - IP Man-Hash: e6ba0505713d8

your mustash rules… i wish my husband could grow a mustash like yours. women actualy get pissed at you its funny. you forgot to mention how incredibly dramatic and retarded they are, esp the fatty house wifes. btw my husband bought a lil sweater for our puppy and we got in a fight over it cuz i thought it was a waste of money, since she’ll grow out of it so fast, and he took a million pics of it and yes..showed them to his friends. u should kick his ass…..

 
Comment by Sarah
2008-03-22 19:32:52 - IP Man-Hash: 9cfdf00b83713

Rewire said:

You know what truly makes me sad about all the women posting on this website? They could be doing something useful with their time, like sucking my cock, instead of half-assedly doing what us men were born to do (discussing the state of the world and how to improve it).

Since I don’t want to leave the main topic, I’ll just say what I came here to say: What is the last time you saw a man treat a dog like a person? Men are friends with their dogs, they enjoy their company and their loyalty, but they understand that a dog is a dog and a child is a child. Women seem to have a problem with this definition, though it is really quite easy!

The crux of the issue is that they know they wouldn’t be able to treat a child like they treat their pet-children because there would be a man somewhere to tell them that what they can and can’t do.

So, in reality, I think these pet-children perform a service. They keep these women deluded, feeling like they’re in control of something because they call the shots on the life of a little mutt. And, come on, you guys have to agree that even though women aren’t really fit to call the shots on anything, women who have pet-children are less prone to fucking up the life of a real child!

This is the first post I’ve ever made here. I’d apologize for breaking some rule or another, but I am a man and therefore don’t need to.

Haha. Well maybe you and sgt. reyes can improve it together by fighting, fucking, drinking and killing. What a joke.

 
Comment by jaydavi
2008-03-22 18:59:23 - IP Man-Hash: 822c948329db7

Bishop said:

jay davies said:

animals are for eating, babies are for looking after.

This pet malarkey is a little feminine for you eh Dick?

That’s awfully funny coming from a feminist. Being a kind and respectful woman is just a little to feminine for your kind.</blockquote

I think retards who judge people on gender are the issue, I never professed to being a feminist.

Also, I can be incredibly kind and respectful, if you deserve it. You clearly don’t, so you can suck my metaphorical balls.

Your….your….I’ll have to settle for insult for want of a better word….your insult was hardly insulting. The overall outcome would either be that I was a masculine feminist or a kind and respectful feminine one. Either option I see no issue in.

Funny that as a misogynist you attribute the qualities of kindness and respect to women, why do you hate them so much then?

 
Comment by Bishop
2008-03-22 12:37:13 - IP Man-Hash: c6f24310788d2

jay davies said:

animals are for eating, babies are for looking after.

This pet malarkey is a little feminine for you eh Dick?

That’s awfully funny coming from a feminist. Being a kind and respectful woman is just a little to feminine for your kind.

 
Comment by jay davies
2008-03-18 20:47:52 - IP Man-Hash: 822c948329db7

animals are for eating, babies are for looking after.

This pet malarkey is a little feminine for you eh Dick?

 
Comment by Guy
2008-02-29 01:49:33 - IP Man-Hash: b3faa0038cfd5

I am not jokeing , I loled. So true, I like how my dad take cares of me alot more than my mom. and, women cant even take care of themselves.

 
Comment by dazedandconfused
2008-02-23 20:11:50 - IP Man-Hash: 4b25fb31fe92b

Women are like whores. Oh wait, they are whores.

*D3C*

 
Comment by kezia
2008-02-20 03:53:19 - IP Man-Hash: 16c2c81949682

Men are like pigs, not dogs. Get your facts straight.

 
Comment by Вирджиния
2008-02-13 14:00:57 - IP Man-Hash: 1ace054919063

My roommate has this dog, and it’s name is Candy. Candy the Poodle. And she calls it her baby. So whenever we’re out with mutual friends, or even with people we have never met, she begins conversations on “Her baby.” It’s fairly embarrassing.

 
Comment by Sgt. Reyes
2008-02-07 11:18:37 - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297

AMikk369 said:

Sgt. Reyes said:

KL said:

Reyes is a disgrace to Marines everywhere. Not all of them are like him thank god.

Actually, all of them are lean killing machines who generally like to fight, fuck, drink and kill. Don’t see many of them feeling sorry for apthetic bitches like you or any bitch for that matter.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

- Sgt. Reyes

LOL! Such a moron.

Who. KL? You got that right.

- Sgt. Reyes

 
Comment by King Wang
2008-02-07 07:02:41 - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8

@Jashrew- You know, sarcasm and insult usually works better if you are not a fucking idiot. Being pathetic and unfunny, you wouldn’t get the irony of your own posts………

 
2008-02-07 03:29:37 - IP Man-Hash: b90848ef4fe08

i bet animals dont make good fuck buddies i am sure. only men can answer that one…(insert smart aleck comment here)…i love making you angry ::: malicious female grin::: yah…poor you.

 
Comment by Rewire
2008-02-06 22:00:07 - IP Man-Hash: bd08b2aaee3ea

You know what truly makes me sad about all the women posting on this website? They could be doing something useful with their time, like sucking my cock, instead of half-assedly doing what us men were born to do (discussing the state of the world and how to improve it).

Since I don’t want to leave the main topic, I’ll just say what I came here to say: What is the last time you saw a man treat a dog like a person? Men are friends with their dogs, they enjoy their company and their loyalty, but they understand that a dog is a dog and a child is a child. Women seem to have a problem with this definition, though it is really quite easy!

The crux of the issue is that they know they wouldn’t be able to treat a child like they treat their pet-children because there would be a man somewhere to tell them that what they can and can’t do.

So, in reality, I think these pet-children perform a service. They keep these women deluded, feeling like they’re in control of something because they call the shots on the life of a little mutt. And, come on, you guys have to agree that even though women aren’t really fit to call the shots on anything, women who have pet-children are less prone to fucking up the life of a real child!

This is the first post I’ve ever made here. I’d apologize for breaking some rule or another, but I am a man and therefore don’t need to.

 
Comment by AMikk369
2008-02-04 15:19:51 - IP Man-Hash: e712ddb12590f

Sgt. Reyes said:

KL said:

Reyes is a disgrace to Marines everywhere. Not all of them are like him thank god.

Actually, all of them are lean killing machines who generally like to fight, fuck, drink and kill. Don’t see many of them feeling sorry for apthetic bitches like you or any bitch for that matter.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

- Sgt. Reyes

LOL! Such a moron.

 
Comment by Sgt. Reyes
2008-01-28 16:24:57 - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297

Oh it has. So has her wretched puss.

- Sgt. Reyes

 
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