Pets Are Not Children
Men are a lot like dogs. That’s right, that’s what I said. Talk to any woman about anything and eventually she’ll tell you exactly the same thing.
Men are dogs.
Of course, just like any other time a woman opens her mouth, she doesn’t have any fucking clue what she’s talking about. She’s right only because women vomit words from their mouths with such a frequency that eventually she has to be right, even though she’s probably contradicting something she’s just said, or possibly jibbering in a language she doesn’t know.
If men are dogs, then women are drunken parrots with The Home Shopping Network and a credit card on speed dial. That’s why men are better pet owners than women; because the only things women know how to do are squawk and peck.
Dogs are loyal, resourceful, and they have positive attitudes. They also don’t give a shit about being too clean because that is really neurotic and ruins the fuck out of the feel of an otherwise livable home.
What could be more man-like than that? Those kinds of man-traits, that men share with dogs as well as with all the other animals in the wild that have to make their own way instead of goldbricking on the couch day-in, day-out and conjuring up reasons why weddings are important enough to spend more than dick on — make men better pet owners than women. Hands down.
Let’s take a pet’s impact on others into account first. Because that’s how men behave. Rocking the boat is inappropriate unless it’s necessary to get the job done, and when owning a guinea pig or a Chihuahua it is fucking not.
How many times have you seen a dog in a sweater or in a purse? Probably not a lot, but when you did, you can bet your ass that a man didn’t do that. A man also has never had a bunch of pictures of his pets in his wallet or his Man Bag that he’s ready to whip out on the unsuspecting at a moment’s notice. Nor will a man tell stories about his pets that are not extremely humorous; because that’s a huge waste of everyone’s time.
That’s strike one for women, who will begin a show-and-tell tale at any random point over their pet’s lifeline and finish no one knows the fuck where because there’s no point to any of it anyway. No one gives a shit if the cat turns purple in the winter time or the hamster likes the raisins more than the sunflower seeds. Leave that kind of life sucking bullshit in the diary or the equally horseshit LiveJournal.
Here’s strike two. Pets are not babies. No matter how much women want everyone to think the pug in their lap has been brewing inside of them for nine months, it fucking hasn’t. It was a few hundred bucks and there’s like a billion of them. That means no one wants to see pictures of the ugly thing, no one wants to hear about baby’s first poop, and no agency is going to come haul anyone away if the fucker misses a few meals. It’s not a big deal.
I’m not even going to make the third point that men are better than women at being pet owners because men are better than women at taking care of things. Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women. Women who all complain about taking care of babies as often and as grandly as they can, like they’re all the Virgin fucking Mary — even if they don’t have any of their own! I don’t even know how that works.
It’s because taking care of babies or pets or classic cars comes naturally to us men. It’s our sixth sense. Our man sense. Our mighty man-empathy. The only thing women can empathize with is a cactus.
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May 14th, 2008 at 3:35 am - IP Man-Hash: dab3ffacfe291
Alright. Since I’ve come to a conclusion that this is a huge waste of time, I will give you all some satisfaction and I won’t come back on.
But I would like to mention the fact that before, when I had a legit argument, only one of you had the balls to reply. But as soon as I admitted I was 15, you all freaking attacked. You must have a lot of pride. Dumbasses.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 35ab21bf6af5e
Wonderful. But I don’t believe you. When was the last time a woman ever meant what she said?
May 14th, 2008 at 3:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 35ab21bf6af5e
I take that back. No more sex.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:25 am - IP Man-Hash: d1e91a76a551c
i respect men for the good they did……..but the boys here are good for nothing….they sound like they still need their mothers
May 17th, 2008 at 7:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 813082b46c6fd
I’m also 17, as I assume you are, and I’ll just go ahead and stop you there. You may think the new generation is more open minded because you and some policy debate friends read your fem IR kritik - and, if I’m wrong that you’re a debater, I couldn’t care less - but, go ahead and stop.
The smartest men of OUR generation still know that they are superior to women, and, like Dick, still like women. By like, of course, I mean they respect both the fact that we are different and the fact that men are superior.
That being said, women should still know their place. The other day, a woman slapped me for expressing my opinion about something related to how men are the only sex that can understand the idea of three dimensions, in terms of Cartesian graphs, or infinites, in terms of zero dimensional points becoming lines becoming areas becoming volumes, or integration in general. I backhanded her right back. Then one of her friends was like “OMG I’M ATELLING ON J000000″. She went up to the most feminist teacher, who was a man and believed in equality [[in that he reasons women should be able to have what they want like men do]] and he was like “so you slapped him, and he slapped you? I think you should be the one in trouble.”
tl;dr: Men are better than women, and even young people know it.
May 18th, 2008 at 8:11 am - IP Man-Hash: d1e91a76a551c
i just realised how lucky i am to have guy friends who belive that men and women are equal…..the boys here are so backward and from the stone age…….
May 18th, 2008 at 8:50 am - IP Man-Hash: d1e91a76a551c
not all men treat women like objects
i love to take care of women and like being taken care of by them
some women are after money but not all
and some men are after monay also,look at kevin federline!
May 18th, 2008 at 9:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 3055f44a01c6c
A prince among men: good to see women getting a taste of their own medicine.
May 18th, 2008 at 10:58 am - IP Man-Hash: cf36c7efd11cc
i just realised how lucky i am to have guy friends who belive that men and women are equal…..the boys here are so backward and from the stone age…….
*
i just realised that you are just a sexual object for men and your words and feelings mean nothing compared to a man’s facts and common sense.
So, if these ‘men’ are so superior to us, WTF are you here?
Go hang with them. Oh yeah, they are BORING and WHIPPED and RESPECT you.
Our indifference turns you on and makes your panties moist…c’mon, admit it. Our masculine dismissal of you gets your nipples rock hard and makes you want a man to just use you as an object to make you feel alive.
You only want those guys who make you FEEL equal after we are done using you as a attention whore spreading her legs for some man logic.
You’re a whore, but you’re OUR whore.
Deathslayer
May 19th, 2008 at 1:03 am - IP Man-Hash: d1e91a76a551c
May 19th, 2008 at 1:04 am - IP Man-Hash: d1e91a76a551c
May 19th, 2008 at 1:04 am - IP Man-Hash: d1e91a76a551c
sad bastards
May 21st, 2008 at 6:21 am - IP Man-Hash: f9045e7169cd5
Where the hell do you dickheads think you come from fucking eggs you stupid assholes women that,s where women respect us!!!!!!!!!
May 21st, 2008 at 6:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 50027e38c41af
Actually Pamela, the cycle of life begins with sperm from a man…..I suggest you give that dad of yours a hug for giving you life.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e8d1e2b2a4c4
American and Canadian women are sick bitches who deserve to be stretched on the rack and broken on the wheel.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1acd48b1e3e2
You may be somewhat right on this one, Mr. Masterson. But take this: Just because women have a sense of affection that you happen not to have doesn’t mean you should feel the impulse to bend every way of life around to be bad for a woman.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1acd48b1e3e2
The cycle of life begins with sperm and an egg. Without the egg, there would be no life. Without the female womb, there would be no life. Without females, there would be no fucking life. And I don’t even want to know the statistic of dirty, contemptuous men who created life without a thought as to the consequence. “Oh, it can’t affect me.” Go to hell, irresponsible dirtbag.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:05 am - IP Man-Hash: e8c0d78a4ed42
Actually there are cases where women have had children outside of the womb so there for your whole case is tossed out. The reason men can’t have children the same women do is they don’t ovulate and produce eggs like some reptile, and their pelvic bones are not wide enough to push the baby out. I’m sure if men were able to produce eggs and had a way to fertilize them like envitro babies could form in a mans body and be removed through a C-Section.
May 26th, 2008 at 1:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5afbc3939a46d
Ok let’s take your shit and try again.
Without the sperm, ther would be no life. Without the male sperm, there would be no life. Without males, there would be no fucking life.
Nice try though.
May 26th, 2008 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
Women produce human life, it’s true, but for how long will this last? We men can do everything ourselves. We don’t need women to drive a bus, or to run a company, we can do all these things ourselves. The only thing we cannot do (yet) is create a baby. This is where you are invaluable to us. This is also where you are letting us down. Our birth rates are falling. Our children are being neglected or aborted. You break up our families, destroy our homes, steal our jobs, make false allegations, betray our secrets, collaborate with our enemies, attack us in our sleep. You are becoming a liability. How long will we still be willing to depend on you? We are after all the inventive gender. You talk about independence, but it’s time we become independent of YOU.