Pilot Error
Everyone has heard stories of people who decide at the last minute not to take a flight and then the plane crashes into a train or someone brought a pipe bomb on board or something like that and everyone dies spectacularly — everyone except the person who didn’t get on the plane that is.
Those stories are all complete bullshit and every man in the world knows it. They’re like ghosts and astrology and Elvis sightings; just a bunch of lame and obtuse fabrications of non sequitur minds that allow women to live their lives according to unreliable, intangible signs that only they can see or interpret. Like Groundhog’s Day in the dark.
Did the groundhog see his shadow? Who cares, I’m pregnant!
What is not bullshit is that I will do exactly that on one condition; I will refuse to take a flight at the last minute on one condition: if a woman is flying the plane.
The reason I haven’t missed a flight yet is because there are no women pilots.
Piloting takes a bunch of shit that women can’t do. Women can’t read dials or maps, they can’t communicate effectively, and they sure as shit can’t work a joystick — of any kind. In the end, however, its more than mere incompetence that keeps the wingless harpy known as woman tethered to the Earth like a sack of lard.
The reason is that women are afraid of greatness.
There’s an old and dumb saying that goes, ‘behind every great man, there is a woman.’ That’s true, but do you know what that woman is doing? She’s cowering in fear from the thundering applause and adoration that a great man receives — like a dog cowering behind the couch when the vacuum cleaner whirrs to life.
Women are afraid of success. That’s why they’ve got such a hard-on for teamwork, that’s why no one gives a shit each year when a new woman is inducted into the Women Who Have Made a Difference Hall of Fame – because they haven’t, and that’s why they don’t fly planes. Not because it would be criminally negligent; not because women make it two weeks into flight school and decide to become stewardesses (something that they are perfect for because it only requires a shitty attitude and the navigational skills of a Skiball thrown by the retarded), but because no woman ever looked up into the great blue sky and said, I wish I was up there. I wish I was something.
In the end women are the sum of their impulses; unreliable to the present, and intangible to history.
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December 8th, 2005 at 5:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
Holy shit, you have got to be a virgo. ROFL.
December 8th, 2005 at 6:51 am - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Wrong, and I will add this: Paragraphs are your friend, not your enemy. Do not fear them.
December 8th, 2005 at 3:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
Paragraphs were not called for. They would have broken up the rhythm. Which is a pattern of noise. Although, I can’t expect men to understand this, Man Law 2 in action.
December 8th, 2005 at 3:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60b660aafc3e4
‘They would have broken up the rhythm.’
If you use transition words, you would not need to sacrifice ‘rhythm’. It might even enhance your writing.
December 8th, 2005 at 3:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: d46f4dbb0ec09
Man Law 2: If you suspect a man is wrong, see Man Law 1.
-Dick
December 8th, 2005 at 3:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Anyone who could write those sentences knows nothing of rhythm. The third and fourth sentences are particularly discordant. Of course, if you view your writing as noise (as you say you do) that would explain a great deal, in particular the ‘rhythm’ of a 200-odd word paragraphless mess. As for ‘Man Law 2′, it is not what you think it is.
Being a man, Grump is of course correct.
-wolfe
December 8th, 2005 at 3:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
Man Law 2. Recall & Amendment
Man Law 2. Even when men hear, they cannot discern the patterns in the noise, and thus they cannot understand.
Any advertised disclaimers to the contrary are false, misleading and the work of a disturbed mind.
December 8th, 2005 at 11:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeffcc3f4c66e
Women can’t read dials or maps, they can’t communicate effectively, and they sure as shit can’t work a joystick — of any kind.
********************8
Work a joystick of any kind? Let me pick myself up off the floor, and check that I have not ’split a gut’, for it certainly feels that way after reading your excellent sheyt.
Dick–you are effin’ brilliant. They sure can’t use a joystick “of any kind”.
The Geezer
http://www.thespinmeister.blogspot.com
http://www.hatemalepost.blogspot.com
December 9th, 2005 at 1:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9ffcd4e38d9dd
Spot on.
They would rip the handle off and use it for other reasons that it was not designed to do.
Female is the ideal candidate for the failure of the education system to award a so-called degree for incompetence and indifference.
Indefference to the truth and passion for pshyco-babble eg. the well covered “stars” insanity.
Seems to be the only pre-condition for women at Universities these days.
December 13th, 2005 at 11:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 60b660aafc3e4
Wolfe,
No, sir. I am not a man, but thanks for the compliment. Chalk it up to the men in my life. They are my anchors.
I know it’s against the rules to be here, but Female so entertains me. I couldn’t help joining in on the fun.
December 13th, 2005 at 12:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Grump, I think you pulled one over on all of us.
-Dick
December 13th, 2005 at 3:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Grump: Well played, ma’am.
-wolfe
December 14th, 2005 at 7:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: e2d025f19e31f
Female Said “It is the job of these people to monitor the airspace and ensure planes don’t bump into each other. Because they would be a very bad thing.�
First of all this should read “because THIS would be a very bad thing.� However, you, being a woman, would not have the basic academic ability required to notice nor correct such a mistake. Thus, I will forgive you this grammatical error. Having said that, may I say what a stunning grasp of the obvious you have. A truly dizzying intellect you possess.
Female: “These people also have the ability to remotely fly the planes……�
Contrary to what you may believe female, the “Jetsons� is a cartoon and as such make a poor basis for discussions of reality. Now I no you have seen it many times but I feel I must tell you that; we cannot raise buildings above the clouds at the press of a button, dogs do not speak English, (even ones named Astro) and try as you may, you cannot buy stock in “Spacely’s Sprockets.� This probably comes as a blow to you, so may I suggest a little research before your next post.
December 14th, 2005 at 7:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: e2d025f19e31f
Actually, my sentence should read, “I KNOW you have seen it…..” Caught, Corrected and Noticed as I am a man.
December 15th, 2005 at 3:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
Geezer,
1. Saw the error but I’m a woman and therefore haven’t been given access to edit my posts. Stupid rule made up by a stupid man. We all know who that is.
2. Jetsons were really before my time, I’ve never seen an episode.
Speaking of cartoons, I heard the other day that Daffy Duck was modelled on Walt Disney, apparently when Daffy was having a temper tanty that was how Walt “I love Nazi’s” used to behave. You’re probably old enough to know the answer to that one, is it true?
December 15th, 2005 at 8:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 23500eaac44c3
Number 1)
actually, despite my posting name, i am only 30.
Number 2)
Men are incapable of making stupid rules.
December 15th, 2005 at 6:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4fcada9323419
Must we endure your incessant babbling?
December 16th, 2005 at 1:29 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
Geezer’s gone potty again. Call the nurse’s station.
December 16th, 2005 at 4:09 am - IP Man-Hash: 855239f484b2b
As women are only clones and do not suffer from a brain that actually tells them to do something different.
All we get in the bitch hall of nothing is clones. Men wannabes.
The pretend penis envy females, dressed in their finery. But dont (wear the same dress as they will spit the dummy) even mention the fact that there is a sense of deja-vu about it all as it’s all been done before by MEN.
Women are so totally boring, now all they do is copy.
Climb mount everest…..boring
Sail a ship around the world………So boring
Go to the North Pole….didn’t they fuck that up ?
Run the mile in 4 minutes……..How old is that. How long does it take to catch up ?
Tennis…….what can one say about bitch tennis….BORING.
But, almost as BORING as Womens Soccer..no..women basketball…no womens golf…no..women..whatever……..fucking boring.
I prefer to watch a wall being built by a man bricklayer, watch a house being built by a male carpenter, watch a boat being built by a male craftsman,watch anything else but bitch TV.
December 16th, 2005 at 4:14 am - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad
I’m sure it wouldn’t really matter what a man was doing for one to hold your interest.