Why Men Aren’t “Romantic”
Men aren’t romantic for the same reason we didn’t invent a sport called “Drop Rocks in a Hole.”
What’s going to happen next? Is the rock going to fall in the hole? Holy shit! Who wins?
No one. It’s just like listening to a woman. Everyone loses.
To women, “romance” is a heavily regulated choreograph of candles and shiny trinkets. Romance is flowers on Valentine’s Day. It’s remembering her favorite song after she’s told you twenty times and also put it as her ringtone. Romance is serving her a half-assed birthday breakfast in bed, or otherwise walking, not running, through a gauntlet of figurative cones like a dog for no discernible purpose other than to say you did it — and that you did it for her.
Romance means giving a woman things of no worth just so she’ll put out. Diamonds aren’t worth shit. Neither are flowers. An explanation of how Anti-lock Brake Systems work is worth something. A lesson on how maps work, no matter how condescending it is, is worth something. No woman on Earth will put out for either of those.
Men devised algebra and calculus to explain where we are in the cosmos. We discovered fire and nuclear power. We put a man on the moon. Putting fifty dollars on the charge card and running a bath does not rank in the universe of interesting things to do with our time.
If it’s so easy, why aren’t men more romantic? Like usual, the problem lies with women.
Women are simple creatures. To them, flowers showing up on the same day every year is a complicated fucking marvel like a comet would be to a primitive monkey-man. Put yourself in the place of a woman for a moment. None of them know how to call a plumber or a Pizza Hut, so they have no idea where the flowers came from. And fuck getting a job or having any money. Women have two settings when it comes to doing anything in their lives. Either it’s impossible, or it’s something she’s doing already.
That’s why women bitch instead of educating themselves or getting job skills for when their nagged-to-death husband dumps their fat ass. If she’s not already doing it, then it’s impossible.
Men aren’t “romantic” because being romantic means insulting the women we love. I wouldn’t feed my dog the same treat at the same time every day of it’s life. At best, that’s insulting to my dog’s intelligence, and at worst that’s a sick kind of emotional manipulation akin to Chinese water torture. That’s what women want though: flowers, candy, and attention in ways that are so predictable and contrived, they belong in a psychology experiment.
Our ladies deserve better than that. And since they can’t muster up any self-respect on their own, we men have to do it for them.
I’m a man. I’ll slay a dragon to get laid. But if the next dragon doesn’t have a Rubik’s cube for a face or something to assemble on it’s back, it can go fuck itself. Doing the same shit over and over again is tedious. Romance is coloring between the lines with invisible crayons.
And don’t tell me that laundry, cooking, and cleaning are tedious, like a she-octopus shooting mouth-ink all over the place in desperation. Women love all three of those things. Haven’t you seen how happy they look in the commercials?
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September 10th, 2007 at 5:20 am - IP Man-Hash: c72d3d7fa1251
Making matters worse, Dick, is that what constitutes “romantic” to a woman is almost always the product of pop culture.
September 10th, 2007 at 7:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 597ba7095779d
Unlike the parasite women, we have too much fucking work to do.
September 10th, 2007 at 7:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 19cb50505fa07
Also the fact most women are hardly satisfied and want MORE MORE MORE.
Rachael Stevens sung that song of the same name. A woman.
September 10th, 2007 at 7:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 45d1d223a1bb8
What constitutes the small amount of matter between their skulls is almost always the product of pop culture.
Welcome to women.
September 10th, 2007 at 8:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 37448798b38a4
“Romance is coloring between the lines with invisible crayons”
Dick, you are a Man poet for our times.
September 10th, 2007 at 9:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 43a15a7732fec
Heh, this may be the only article you’ve ever written that I agree completely with. The whole “flowers every Valentine’s Day” thing is pretty cliched and meaningless.
September 10th, 2007 at 9:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 919329ce1329e
Everything about women is clichéd and meaningless.
September 10th, 2007 at 10:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 9da3aa5c109f5
Alex prefers to have extra-relationship intercourse for Valentines while her boyfriend plays on the computer.
September 10th, 2007 at 10:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 43a15a7732fec
I’ve never cheated, or had extra-relationship sex at all. I just think that expecting your boyfriend to shell out $50 bucks on flowers, which don’t have any real meaning in the first place, is stupid. Not that I won’t gladly take them, I just wouldn’t expect/demand them, and I prefer more meaningful gestures.
September 10th, 2007 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 9da3aa5c109f5
A woman with fidelity is a woman who hasn’t met the right man.
September 10th, 2007 at 11:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 9a499096fa250
Also, diamonds are so common that they should be worth a mere fraction of what they currently are in the market. The price gauging can be blamed on women and their demands for diamonds.
September 10th, 2007 at 12:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486
And so they can walk around and show their jealous girlfriends
“MY BOYFRIEND LOVES ME … *HOLDS OUT HAND* THIS MUCH”
September 10th, 2007 at 12:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Alex is infatuated with MABTW.
- Pink Floyd - Welcome To The Machine
September 10th, 2007 at 3:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9dacd1603113
A fucking MEN!!!
The only reason they want any of that shit is so they can lord it over other women. They don’t care what they get, as long as it is better than what their friends got.
September 10th, 2007 at 4:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 919329ce1329e
… and the fact that someone else paid for it. We men are competitive by nature, and we also love to rub it in our competitors noses sometimes. But the main difference here is men like to gloat about their own achievements, while women want trophies paid for by someone else.
September 10th, 2007 at 8:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: e079861729b29
I wouldnt slay a dragon to get laid, that is bullshit. The least amount of work required to get access to slippery cunt holes the better.
September 11th, 2007 at 12:22 am - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
If a primitive monkey-man remembers there was a comet 75 years ago, he’s one intelligent monkey-man.
September 11th, 2007 at 7:12 am - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Speak for yourself, Dick. I invented that game at age 5 and thought it was mantastic.
I still do today.
Except today I call that hole a “student” and those rocks “knowledge”, and the locale a “university”.
And people pay me money.
Just for dropping rocks in holes.
Mantastic.
Of course this simply proves Dick’s overarching point. There is no activity so banal that a man cannot turn it into something mantastic and lucrative.
-wolfe
September 11th, 2007 at 8:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
Love the article but I disagree.
Men create romance, women consume it.
September 11th, 2007 at 3:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7faed180637fd
This is mantastic, its like you have been watching what goes on with my so- called-Girlfriend
September 11th, 2007 at 3:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 663610db843b1
Romance: “Wherein the male demonstrates how much he loves his female companion, by pointlessly inconvieniencing himself.”
Special consideration #1: A sure way to create romance, is to spend great amounts of money, time and effort on trivial things. The greater the inconvienience, the more insignificant the trivialism… the greater the romance.
Special consideration #2: At NO times, should the female companion be required to reciprocate in any way, shape or form, unless the aforementioned reciprocation is completely half-assed.
September 11th, 2007 at 7:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8bf10ee7e5a18
Unless she is the rare exception, her behavioural tendencies will very likely be well described here.
This is both a very good thing, and a sad thing.
Welcome Frank, and for their sake please tell all your Male friends to visit here. Words out, baby.
September 12th, 2007 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
Men aren’t romantic for the same reason we didn’t invent a sport called “Drop Rocks in a Hole.” -Dick
Isn’t that what basketball is?
September 13th, 2007 at 3:30 am - IP Man-Hash: b93fd34959f33
I’m going to use that.
September 15th, 2007 at 3:59 am - IP Man-Hash: c8d099f4de790
I’m going to use that.
There you go, isn’t it just that much easier riding on the coat-tails of others to guide you through that seemingly, impossibly foreign [, yet not heretofore unmapped,] territory that is ‘the female’…
Half-assed reciprocation…hmmm, does that refer to a preference for slimmer builds, or just plain (semi-)bare bottoms (during reciprocation; or is that mutual reciprocation to which you are referring…?)
Such specs should be more specific.
September 15th, 2007 at 4:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 12ba2642e47bb
I thought it was golf.
September 15th, 2007 at 5:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Only a woman could possibly suggest the common golf ball is a round pebble.
- Chris Montana pres. The Bora Bora Chicks - Porto Hustle (Original Club Mix)
September 15th, 2007 at 6:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 12ba2642e47bb
As opposed to a man who would call an inflatable piece of rubber, a rock.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 3d4c584d6abea
This is how a Anti-lock Brake system works. The vehicle has 4 wheel speed sensors, one for each wheel and a brake pedal position sensor. The ABS computer watches all of these sensors when you brake. If the computer sees that a wheel has stopped while you are under heavy braking the computer tells the Hydraulic control unit to close the inlet valves and then varies the pressure to that wheel keeping it moving.
now that is fucking worth something.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:56 am - IP Man-Hash: c41fe27e96c6a
Do they have a similar system for the mouths of women?
September 19th, 2007 at 8:27 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
No. Their mouths are constantly operating and never lock up.
September 19th, 2007 at 12:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Qui s’aime, se taquine. Female nous aime.
- Lustral - Everytime
September 20th, 2007 at 1:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 737519fc7480b
lol… drop rocks in a hole… that’s called golf, man. They could, if they wanted to, rename golf balls to drop rocks in a hole balls, but only a woman in her usuall stroppy bad mood would fucking do that.
September 20th, 2007 at 7:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4f6a05e53643d
I wonder if your mothers know what you’re saying?
September 20th, 2007 at 9:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
They get told exactly what you get told…exposing dishonorable behaviour is not something to be ashamed of.
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:05 am - IP Man-Hash: d0251a9d355d0
ok so this is bull shhit you muct all be fucking gay or some shit, becasue me and my wife are morvoulous… and Romance is not just an act of spending money or any of hat shit… it is just an act of kindness to let your wife know how much you love them… and by the sokunds of it “dick” wrote all of these comments, because they are all wrote in the same way… and use the same words over again…so you know what quit being stupid, and acting immature and GROW THE FUCK UP
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:19 am - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
wow…well my dear friend…you are as uneducatingly speaking as redeux…im sorry…the mn will just laugh at how you said that and discredit you (if they even bother to waste their time) line by line…
i got what you were saying but really…i dispensed of calling them gay at the beginning…these are not the ramblings of gay men(well some aren’t) these are the ramblings of intelligent men who obviously really believe what they say…whether or not it is true…
September 24th, 2007 at 3:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 422940479a69d
o.o
That’s it. I’m finished.
Can’t take the madness!!
H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E
September 26th, 2007 at 8:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 510ea78f5e3c3
dimandonds are worth somthing cause there hardest natural element
November 14th, 2007 at 1:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 21f00163e2fd3
Must have missed this one. Awesome article.
December 11th, 2007 at 6:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46bafd48af0c5
Romance is showing a women that you care. Women need to feel like they are cared about, because… well I dont know, they just do. That doesn’t mean that women won’t give YOU something in return, most grownups I know DO give their men presents almost as much as men give them presents. I think that Dick made WAAY to big of a deal with this. It’s not like women expect someone to buy her flowers every day! I mean, MOST men I know can handle valentines day, and mose women I know give there husbands/BFs chocolates, a sweater, headphones, etc. in return. Then again, mabye I just associate with good women!
December 11th, 2007 at 7:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e05bce9aa92e
Spoken like a true woman in training.
I realize you’re a child, proudathiest, so I’ll go easy on you a bit here…
What you’ve written here is exactly the problem Dick is writing about.
Men have responsibilities in relationships based on women’s desires. Women don’t have responsibilities for their men. There’s nothing that women are expected to do for men in relationships. Maybe sex. But even there, men aren’t supposed to expect it. Men have all of the traditional, chivolrous expectations on their shoulders still, plus all of the new-age expectations of being caring, nurturing, etc. And it’s all based on what women say they want, even when they contradict, and society backs them up on it.
Women simply don’t have that pressure. They have choices and self determination, or at least the illusion of it than men aren’t allowed to tarnish. (Women on the other hand are free to place their expectations on other women, and do; but I digress). So yes, they might give gifts now and then … but when they do it’s just because they feel like it, and there’s no judgement on them if they didn’t do a good job picking a “good” gift. The thought counts. The same just ain’t true the other way around. Men can get picked apart for the smallest indiscretion, no matter how well intentioned. The thought is psychoanalyzed.
BTW: you are young. Your friends are young. As you get older many of your girl friends will choose not to work despite what they say now; or will settle for low paying jobs for the comfort factor. When they do, they’ll notice that the men they’ve chosen to be with have more money than they do. Then they’ll start feeling like they don’t need to be giving the same kinds of gifts, but they’ll still want some nice gifts for themselves. Then they’ll start to feel that they’re not getting the kind of attention they think they deserve when they don’t get it. When you see that; you’ll know what this rant was really about.
December 11th, 2007 at 7:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46bafd48af0c5
I do agree with all of what you are saying. I think that one of the problems with this is that a long time ago, women didn’t have money, and men had most of the power, so men were expected to share their things, and give women what they desired, since they couldn’t get it themselves. That was just the way it was. Now, women are given more power and responsibility, and they wan’t both the power and things that men had, AND they want to be treated like how it used to be. They have to realize that they can’t have it both ways. They can eather be an at home wife with children, and submit to their husband, and get the gifts, or they can chose financial sucess over the gifts, and give their husbands something nice in return when they get something. Some people just don’t get that they have to chose, they can’t have both. Since I’m probably going to chose financial sucess, I am fully prepared, to give my future BF the same quality of gifts that I recieve from him. In my eyes, if men and women have equal rights in a relationship, they at least deserve equal treatment.
December 11th, 2007 at 8:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e05bce9aa92e
Thanks proudathiest.
“In my eyes, if men and women have equal rights in a relationship, they at least deserve equal treatment.”
Ah another gem….
I know what you meants; but men and women don’t really have equal rights in relationships. Consider things like domestic violence laws favoring women… false accusations, reproduction rights for women (and not for men), rulings favoring mothers to fathers in custody rulings, divorce settlement laws…
December 20th, 2007 at 9:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
As from this website I can guess that virtually none of you have the slightest bit of respect for a woman, therefore I am guessing that you do not go the extra mile.
But chivelry is dead, we are able to buy things for others, rather than depending on others to reward us with gifts.
January 5th, 2008 at 11:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0e3864174cdfb
Actually, you hit a golf ball with a golf club, you don’t drop a rock in a hole. Good try, but in ‘Drop Rocks in a Hole’ all you women have to do is drop a rock in a hole, while in golf you have to use a manbrain.
January 5th, 2008 at 11:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
Chivalry was alive when women knew their place in a Man’s house; that too has also died and with it Men having much if any respect for women. You want respect?
- Stop being whores
- Trash Feminism
- Repeal alimony
- Stop sucking men dry of their lifeblood through marriage/divorce (either/will have similiar results)
- Shut the fuck up and get me a beer
Now you’ve gained the respect or Man and Marine at the same time.
January 6th, 2008 at 12:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
P.S. Reward you with gifts? For what? Having a Vagina? Sorry, I don’t think so. Pets are rewarded for good behavior, loyalty to their MASTER, and obedience. Not for bitching, spoilt behavior and begging for a diamond necklace and earrings that match.
January 6th, 2008 at 12:03 am - IP Man-Hash: ca9281e5b76eb
^ That was fucking well said.
Then again, you are a marine. The greatness just comes off you.
January 6th, 2008 at 4:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: a1076a8d78fb1
They’ve pissed men off for a few too many times. They’re free ride is up and they’re going to pay back every single year a man has spent behind bars, every man told he was inferior, and every child convinced that men are obsolete when the girly-girl is the one carrying around the babymaker.
PS
PC is a cunt trying to get this site shut down, and she really needs to experience life in a sexy coed prison. Perhaps she can perfect pretending to know what an orgasm is while she gets raped like the man she wishes she was.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 557cf002c6a29
Men are more romantic than women.
January 7th, 2008 at 10:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09616867b6c4a
if i had a dollar for every dollar i spent trying to keep a woman romanticly happy i wouldnt have to work again.and come to think of it none of them do.romance is another word for legal whoring
March 4th, 2008 at 11:35 am - IP Man-Hash: a6d1b8f626913
If you hate women so much, you should start dating men.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e156e431b91f
How original.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 902ea58d0aea2
Illiterate, pussy-whipped cunt…
March 4th, 2008 at 4:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: d28964b66513f
Diamonds are worth something because companies that sell diamonds keep BILLIONS of dollars worth of diamonds in vaults to create artificial scarcity thus raising the price.
Emeralds, rubies, and sapphires are all much more rare.
I don’t know why I’m posting this because any man reading this already knows it and any woman reading it won’t understand.
I suppose it doesn’t hurt to try to teach.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3397801dcbbee
While I’m thinking of it, while are women suddenly going on about men giving them blood diamonds after they’ve been accepting them for years?
March 4th, 2008 at 10:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
I know that has to be sarcasm mate, women don’t even return that blood diamond after breaking off the engagement. They consider it to be their entitlement. That whole princess syndrome thing we see symptoms of in every corner of western society and all.
March 4th, 2008 at 11:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3397801dcbbee
I know, I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic but I know. It just amazes me how they can avoid their part in it so easily so I have to ask even though the answer is obvious.
April 7th, 2008 at 1:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 81809107d2ef1
I’m not sure, but are you talking about American women?
Most of these examples you give sound like some fat trailer trash whore and not a woman who has an education, supports herself and doesn’t rely on a man.