Shitting Is Awesome
There are two things in life you can count on: death and shitting.
Fuck taxes.
Women invented taxes.
Sometimes, I listen to the conversations of women. Sometimes like when two women in two different cars park going opposite ways in the middle of the fucking street just because they see the other one driving. Well done. You’re driving, I’m driving. Let’s throw a fucking parade.
Oh wait, we can’t because two donkey, half-wits have parked right in the middle of the street. Send all the kids home and tell the clowns to go fuck themselves.
All women talk about when they’re on their own is men. Who can blame them? Is there any topic more fascinating and engaging than men and their man-tivities? I think not. Men are better than women.
Men are dirty!
False. Women zero, Dick one. Ever heard of Mr. Clean? There’s no Miss Clean. There is a Mrs. Butterworths. What the fuck does that tell you?
Men have no feelings!
I guess some fucking woman directed Schindler’s List then. Dick two.
All men talk about is the toilet!
Half true. Women get half a point and I get seven. I win.
Men enjoy talking about the toilet — specifically the big number two. Captain deuce. The high-flying cargo drop. So what?
Going to the bathroom with poop is the first thing a human being learns to master. Think about that for a second. You, me, the pope, even some kind of 17th century violin prodigy; everyone still has to take a shit first before they get their hands on any bibles or violins or whatever you do. And once men master something goddammit we stick to it like man-glue. We never stop enjoying it. For men, the destination is the journey, the sauce is seller, and the toilet is an inspiring metaphor of life.
Men are all about the fundamentals. That’s how we do everything so fucking perfectly every time. The first thing we men learn how to do is take a shit. We’re not going to just drop it right there. That would make us women, not men. We’re going to keep talking about shitting. We’re going to keep perfecting it and ourselves by bringing it to the forefront of conversation and discussing it openly and honestly — and hilariously. That’s manly.
That’s why there aren’t any women virtuoso anything’s, because as soon as a woman learns how to scrape by she stops trying. The only thing women ever learn is how to sell their vaginas to the highest bidder. No matter who wins, we all fucking lose.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 3 [2] 1 » Show All
Bleah. They were prolly all just lousy gaymers anyway…
Ah. It seems I’ve just managed to get myself banned off yet another IT forum. Must be something I ate…
Gremlins. Nothing, really. Just my ceaseless ideological battles with the spurious infidel…
I found your lack of faith in ATi disturbing…
Where did that randomness in the middle come from Sonyad?
Actually, as far as I know, the ratio of the number of neurons to other cellular types is the main determining factor of what is thought of as quantifiable intelligence quotient.
And just cause you’re an illiterate idiot does not necessarily imply I’m one too by virtue of belonging to the same species alone or that our brains are similar in either size or structure.
___
___
- Chris Rea - King Of The Beach - All Summer Long
you men that go on this site are comediens you are all so funny with low iq’s you all show alot of emotion i will teach you how the brain works firstly majority of humans have a perfectly normal brain there is no difference between men and women and you all now that why are you all against women we all have the same brains so stop being stupid because men like you are making it look bad for the clever men oh actually carry on you are making them look great ha ha
Wow. Thanks for sharing Mark. I’d have died that one bit dumber.
Boggles the mind.
Googled around a little for “man tax:”
http://blog.mises.org/blog/archives/002568.asp
In light of such progressively insane proposals for fascist legislation I submit a proposal for a bill of my very own to the female half of the Swedish unicameral legislature pending sure ratification by the gentlemen.
Any marriage is to be immediately annulled on the husband’s request with no withstanding legally imposed financial or other coercive obligations on his part whatsoever should an impartial committee of qualified (male) chefs, per the gentleman’s request, review the missis’ cooking and find it to be substandard to the tune of less than 4 Michelin stars.
All expenses incurred during the proceedings (no legal fees, just the natural expense of having the chefs over and such) will naturally be entirety footed by the lady in question whose dishes didn’t pass muster or otherwise by the gentleman, in the unlikely event such a thing were possible.
Furthermore, the lady in question should be open to civil suit for failing to fulfill contractual obligations.
I surmise divorce would quite quickly become obsolescent.
Men have been paying stupid bitches for no reason for several decades now. It’s called alimony.
I heard some bitch in either norway or sweden tried to get legislation on a MAN tax, and no, it’s not a tax that gets paid out to man-tastic men for keeping the economy up and everything else in the world from going to shit…it’s a tax that men pay to stupid bitches…wait for it…for no reason.
Oy, that’s double quick time. I confess, I like to do a thorough job myself.
- B.U.G Mafia - Romaneste
My theory is he purposely forgoes fiber intake, as an extended healthy lifetime would be too much time listening to your dumbfuck questions.
I take 30 second shits.
Maybe they take their time while fantasizing about shitting on stupid women like you. You’re welcome to get the fuk off this site now.
Hey I’m curious about this… why does it take men so long to take a shit? Even when they’re not reading on the pot?
Not Jens. Rather, I have heard many of your politicians are women! A more deplorable condition I have not been made aware.
-Dick
Hehe yeah, we’ve even had a female Prime minister some years ago.
She always seemed pissed off, dunno why.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/136702.stm
Yeah I know the feeling. I think that is why we men have compassion or else they would be in serious trouble.
Not Jens. Rather, I have heard many of your politicians are women! A more deplorable condition I have not been made aware.
-Dick
No… dont blame the site. The behaviour of women is too blame. The site only points out things we already know.
I’ve spend most of my life trying to understand women and now that I do; I wish that I didn’t.
yeh thats what i meant, the womans comments.
Men understand women it is just our manly compassion that keeps us from realizing what we know. It is hard for men to realize that women, our counterparts are as simplistic as a four piece jigsaw puzzle.
- Oldone
No… dont blame the site. The behaviour of women is too blame. The site only points out things we already know.
I’ve spend most of my life trying to understand women and now that I do; I wish that I didn’t.
Hehe, that might be, tho they are pretty stable.. seems like their only goal is to ruin us with doubling certain taxes each year :p
That beeing in particular things like tobacco, alcohol, gas etc. 1 gallon of gas costs approx 44 NOK or 7.18$ US.
Other than that our goverment is pretty good, free health care, a working welfare system (i.e no homeless ppl).
Kinda curious though, what leaders have you heard about? Jens Stoltenberg (PM) ?